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The Story Of Doodle Jump: Brotherly Love And Digital Snacks “Release dates” from retailers are usually nothing more than hopes to pin dreams on. And since Europe (and North America for that matter) still doesn’t have the Dual Shock 3, a heads up for when those elusive “Spring 2008″ date just might be. UK retailer DVD.co.uk listed February 1st for the DS3 drop date, but according to Sony Europe:
We haven’t had any release date confirmed at the moment. Retailers regularly make up release dates to get pre-orders and gauge interest etc.
That’s PR speak for RETAILERS ARE FULL OF SHIT.
DS3 Date? [Videogamer.com]
Sometimes you need to talk some shit about how great a Halo player you are, but you’re away from home. Away from a computer that can access Bungie.net, too. Let’s just say you’re camping. And you own an iPhone. What do you do? You use the innovatively-named iHalostats, an iPhone app that syncs with your GamerTag and can drag up all your vital statistics. Because nothing says your priorities in life are in the right place more than showing people your Halo 3 stats on an iPhone. You Got Halo Stats in my iPhone! [Aeropause]
Look, Nintendo, you’re making money, you’re selling units, we’re happy for you. But what the hell is this? A sitting still contest? Sitting painfully on a small plastic brick is not fun. It’s not even fit. It’s bullshit.
Screw regular jigsaw puzzles. They suck. These sixty piece 3D globe puzzles are where it’s at. Just look at Pikachu and Pochama and think to yourself: BIG FACE.
Hit the jump for a look at the puzzle boxes.
The Japanese manual for No More Heroes is great. Done in a vibrant manga/comic book style, it’s the kind of icing that Suda’s cooky, delicious cake of a game deserved. The American manual, however, is a cheap pile of crap. Black & white paper, boring instructions, it’s the Bert to the Japanese version’s Ernie. Was saving a buck or two on printing costs really worth the inevitable disappointment, Ubisoft? No More Heroes…no more awesome manual [Go Nintendo]
Rez HD is coming to Xbox Live Arcade soon. Maybe, very soon. Speaking with Eurogamer, a Q Entertainment spokesperson offered this sugar-coated, snacky tease: The game is being prepped and it’s just waiting for the green light. Maybe next week?
Maybe, huh? Great. Wait, was that a wink? And was that a nudge? What are you trying to do here, Q, get our hopes up? We already know Ubisoft’s Chessmaster Live will be appearing next Wednesday, so our extremities are crossed that Rez will be joining it. Rez HD “maybe next week”, says Q [Eurogamer]
Native English speakers often poke fun of the strange English found in Japanese advertising and whatnot. What about strange Japanese? Reader Andy was watching Resident Evil Extinction when he noticed the above sign. Those that don’t read Japanese will go “meh” and move on. Those that do will open a can of WTF. Andy explains:
Note that the Kanji has absolutely nothing to do with “Tokyo Metro” or “Zatoichi Square”. It looked like they picked random characters out: 夜空雪風 “Night, sky, snow, wind” and 考楽火月星 “Thought, music, fire, moon, star.” If it was Tokyo Metro it would be written 東京地下鉄 or 東京メトロ. I’m not sure about Zatoichi Square, because it doesn’t actually exist. But there’s a series of films called Zatoichi (座頭市), a blind swordsman. So I guess it might be called 座頭市ズスクウェア.
Maybe I wasn’t the only one that noticed it. But anyway, I found it hilarious, it’s as if they didn’t expect people who know Japanese to watch it. Idiots. Or maybe it’s some post-apocalyptic Tokyo where all the characters are changed and don’t make sense anymore. Congratulations, Paul W. S. Anderson and his team!
Yes, congratulations! Your ability to mangle the Japanese language has impressed us all.
It would appear that the wait for Mercenaries 2: World In Flames may have gotten a little bit longer, as multiple retailers are listing a late August 2008 release date for the Pandemic Studios shooter. Reader Patrick pointed out that online retailer Amazon was now showing an August 25 release date for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 versions of the game, with GameStop showing the same for the PlayStation 2 and PC versions. The last official word on the game’s release was April, something that is now starting to look less likely. The game was originally planned for a holiday 2007 release, but pushed back in September.
It has been made readily apparent by GameStop COO Daniel DeMatteo that retailer GameStop considers the burgeoning “casual” gaming market one of the bigger opportunities for growth. But what are they planning to do about the broad customer base buying the Wii and Nintendo DS? Well, we’re still not quite sure what management is up to, but analyst Colin Sebastian says the company is “making progress” in its efforts. Whether that means droning on at the start of each phone call “Thank you for calling EBgames, where you can trade in your copy of Wii Play toward Wii Fit” or something more severe we don’t know, but GameStop certainly has its work cut out for it.
Maybe management could consider laying off on the aggravating tactics ingrained into current GameStop clerks who are forced to shill surcharges of questionable value. The phrase “merchandising to a broader consumer audience” could be interpreted as just about anything, but the company would probably be wise to consider making the experience a bit less sour. Any other suggestions?
GameStop Gets Casual in ’08 [Next-Gen]
The latest proposal that would tax video games (and televisions) in an effort to fund other, seemingly unrelated programs has popped up in New Mexico, initiated by the Sierra Club. The environmental organization’s executive director, Carl Pope, writes on the Huffington Post that tacking on a 1% tax on games and televisions would generate some $US 4 million toward pushing the “No Child Left Inside” agenda, getting chubby kids off their humps and out to national parks where they can receive an outdoor education.
We suppose that this sort of diversion of funds makes more sense than others. I just hope they don’t limit the use of PSPs for these poor kids brought to tears by the prospect of experiencing “nature”. And, please New Mexico, make sure these kids are well stocked on Happy Meals.
A Tax to Remember [The Huffington Post via GamePolitics]
