It’s no secret I peek at Reddit when I’m working weekends. But last week its contributors made something too hilarious not to share: An extremely dark view of relationships, in the context of Super Mario Bros.
Around Wednesday a user kicked it all off with “Mario Explains It: Lesson 001.” (Above) The guy was clearly going all Mr. Bitterpants over the state of a just-friends relationship with some girl who is probably never, ever going to give it up for him. It was then followed up with many pictures and revisions. Here are the ones that were the funniest while still forming a logical progression:
Here’s a “Fixed that for you” from someone even more bitter.
The third picture shows the OP how to git ‘er done.
Uh, staying “just friends” now sounds like a pretty good idea, doesn’t it?
Smoker!!!!! Reloading!
Of course, there’s always this path. I’d probably make supersize Bullet Bob into a divorce lawyer.
And finally, for those who hate counseling, the Scott Peterson option.
And so we learned an important lesson today, didn’t we kids? That’s right. Never ever never have sex with anyone you care about…
Mario Explains It [Reddit]
anon
Sunday, February 1, 2009 at 4:05 PMthis. is EPIC AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
jeff
Sunday, February 1, 2009 at 4:41 PMthis is funny!
Tom
Sunday, February 1, 2009 at 6:31 PMMy god, hilarious!
PipSqueek
Sunday, February 1, 2009 at 7:33 PMFinally something logical
Brendan
Sunday, February 1, 2009 at 11:53 PMabsolutely the greatest mario pic ever, E-P-I-C
B2BYM
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 2:36 AMEven I laughed at this!
Audrey
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 2:46 AMOkay. So, how did those pictures explain relationships. BTW, I think they’re nice pictures.
spunky
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 2:52 AMchloroform and a shovel…
lmao
ffs
Spunky
biv
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 4:27 AMits bullet bill. douchewad
neil
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 4:54 AMthis sucked!
antianon
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 8:15 AMthis is retarded. all of u. retarded.
rudy pooh
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 8:29 AMthat tihs was fuuuunnnyy!! i cried laffin!!!
Nate
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 11:08 AMyeah, I really wasn’t impressed.
L4D
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 11:40 AMSMOKER!
jazzy
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 10:30 PMomg that is priceless… “the ocean of regret’ and ‘the pit of despair’ LOL
jimmyw
Monday, February 2, 2009 at 11:13 PMI thought it was funny!!!
deepika
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 1:24 AMnot much interested :(
Anon
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 9:58 AMFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU….
Tony
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 2:04 PMtoo many people use EPIC. Its making me sick.
SUPER TONY
Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 6:38 PMEPIC > people who fail to understand women. LOL SUPER EPIC !
JDog
Wednesday, February 4, 2009 at 3:15 AMEPIC
you are
Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 9:12 AMYour Stupid!
Dildo
Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 4:08 PMCK
stinoh
Friday, February 6, 2009 at 1:12 AMlol @ “your stupid”
EPIC GRAMMAR FAIL.
ryan
Friday, February 6, 2009 at 9:14 AMI would prefer to have sex with someone I do care about and avoid the mess.
However Mario makes everything funnier, doesn’t he.