To celebrate the release of Warhammer 40K: Dawn Of War II today, the kind folks at THQ have handed me five copies of the PC game and five limited edition 40K t-shirts. Rather than keeping them for myself, I figured it’d work best to give them away.
That’s the t-shirt, btw. And when we say “limited edition”, we mean there were only 400 made. And we’ve got five of them. Not too shabby at all. So, how do you enter this thing? In the comments below, you will finish this joke:
“So, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar…”
Got it? The five entries to raise the loudest laugh from the Kotaku judges will win. You’ve got until Wednesday next week to demonstrate your comic genius.
Matto
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 7:06 PMSo, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar and each order a beer. The bartender hands them there beer, however there are flies in each mug of beer.
Well the Tyranid pushes the beer aside and says, “That’s disgusting.”
The Space Marine pulls the fly out and starts drinking the beer.
The Ork pulls the fly out, sets it on the counter and shouts, “SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD.”
Orca
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 9:13 PMSo, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar…
and the man behind the bar says, “hey, we don’t serve your kind in here, get back to war!”
Grim
Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 12:39 AMA Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar…
The Ork orders a pint of Gorka Ale (botique style!). The bartender draws him the pint and places it on the bar. The Ork smashes the full pint over the bar. When the bartender asks why, the Ork explains on his homeworld they have too much ale.
The Tyranid mutters that he would like a pint of blood and bile (every Tyranid’s choice of refreshment). The bartender serves it up for him, whereupon the Tyranid promptly throws it at the wall. The Tyrnaid tells the bartender that on the swarm planets there is far too much blood and bile.
The Space Marine politely asks the bartender for a pint of whiskey (real men drink it in pints y’know!). The bartender tentatively passes the pint across the ba as the Space Marine unslings his Heavy Bolter and shoots the Ork and Tyranid. The bartender is taken aback at this, but the Space Marine explains on his planet they have far too many Orks and Tyranids.
To the Space Marines surprise he is quickly disintegrated from with a fusion gun blast. “Bloody younger races” mutters the Eldar bartender.
Chris Booker
Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 6:27 AMSo, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar, and the barkeeper yells “Get out of here, you damn kids, the cosplay’s next door!”
dewd
Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 6:45 AMSo, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar. The bartender says, “WTF?? HOT PLASMA BOOOORAAAAAHHH!”
Michael S.
Friday, February 27, 2009 at 12:32 AMSo, a Space Marine, an Ork and a Tyranid walk into a bar. The space marine walks up to a hot chick and tries to claim her in the name of the emperor. The Ork pushes the space marine out of the way and says “Big iz best”. To her disgust she turns away only to face the Tyranid. She screams and goes running back to the Space Marine