Tetris Lessons Available, 2 Hours For $40
Shawn Elliott (2K Boston) tweeted this this past week. Some wit up in Vancouver is offering Tetris lessons “at affordable rates,” one of those things the un- or underemployed will now rush out to imitate.
According to the Craigslist poster (and if it gets flagged and removed, you may read it here and here) the “patient and nonjudgmental coach” will give you 90 minutes of Tetris fundamentals for $US30, half of which will be spent watching him play. However, you will have “gained the confidence to play Tetris by yourself or against friends, strangers, and family members.”
If you’re an advanced student, or feel like delving a little more deeply into Tetris theory, he offers a two-hour “Intermediate Tetris” for $US40 to $US55. This involves all of the above modules but includes getting liquored up. The advertisement said the fee includes “provision of batteries” (so I assume this is on a GameBoy?) and “light refreshments,” so I guess the booze is on him.
I’m now considering one upping this guy and offering a Madden 09 fantasy camp – creating my clients as players in the NFL and then guiding them through a few frivolous exhibition games against other fantasy camp players. Or maybe opening an “open-world crime getaway driving school.” We’ve gotta make money somehow, it’s not like the man is getting around to hiring lots of people any time soon.
Tetris Lessons Offered at Affordable Rates [Craigslist]
Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
Great business idea. I hope he gets rich from his tetris lessons. The someone will create a Wikipedia page for him and he will be famous as the guy who got rich by giving tetris lessons!
All I could think about was training for this
Reavyn29
I'll punch that tetris guy in the face for 5 dollars, any takers?
awesone. that's the kind of stuff i like about vgamers
@Wahrheit: Seriously, I dont even know how that is possible. I dont think I could get close to that if I tried.
@Wahrheit: Thats B mode.
Rhonlore
@Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky: We can't play the gameboy with no light!
@excel_excel: ...Where they were rambling. Rambling about how dark it was. Heh
heh
heh
Nothing to see here folks.
Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky
But if you call now, we'll throw in Peggle lessons ABSOLUTELY FREE!
cfive3
Hmm since I've had a 13,000+ line game of Tetris Party on endless mode..I'd be a good imitator of this guy. XD But..don't think I'll be doing that lol
+ Watch video
true facts.
evilralphwiggum
In Soviet Russia, Tetris plays YOU!
@willis88: Where do i sign up?
Wilky_McBadass
@Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky: Isn't that where all those children were ra....I mean gee whiz mister I wanna play too!
@ShaggE: AND WHERE ARE THE LIGHT REFRESHMENTS? DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT DID YOU
Reminds me of those stories from a few years back about the people selling Halo lessons. I would say Halo lessons are perhaps a little more worthwile than Tetris lessons as there is at least a thriving online Halo community and skills learned in "Halo Class" can in many cases be transferred to other FPS games.
.. still, though.. paying for videogame lessons? *sigh*
StriderShinryu
"First you must master ze dropping of the tetris piece. Bring it down to earth...slowly. Then when it come to rest, prepare yourself for another tetris piece to come down. This is first lesson of Tetris. Next week we focus ze square block. To focus on l block first will only cloud your thoughts."
@KevTehNev: Great! The classes are in that van with no windows over there.
Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky
@ShadowOdin is sad he missed Wyatt Cenac's visit to Sweden: You can get the same info in 98 MB of freely distributed RAR files.
Well, you COULD... but I accidentally them. :(
@ShadowOdin is sad he missed Wyatt Cenac's visit to Sweden: Do you offer lessons on how to accidentally a whole pizza as well? Because I can't just accidentally a coke with out accidentally a pizza.
Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky
Wow.
Here, I'll save everybody some money:
Don't leave gaps in your block lines. If the blocks start dropping too fast, keep working on that wave. In time, you'll naturally get better at fast stacking. Now, keep doing this ad infinitum, until you've mastered Tetris.
(I know, there's plenty more strategies to consider, but I have a feeling that the above is exactly what you'd get for 30 to 55 bucks.)
"How to accidentally a coca cola bottle"
10$/hr
" No dumbass don't use the square, use the l-block."
" You're unteachable"
Lemmywinks
@Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky: Sold!
KevTehNev
Lol at that picture if it isn't shopped. I'd say the player does need a lesson.
Wahrheit
@Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky: The cost is your used underwear.
Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky
I'll be sure to give lessons on how to be a creep on the Internet later this week. Any takers?
Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky
I am offering Tetris lessons at $5 for 2 hrs
willis88
where's my halo 3 get-to-level-50 lessons
DarkSonic999
Haha, I consider myself to be pretty good and competitive when it comes to Tetris but is anyone really that serious about it that they'd hire someone to make them pro?
@Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky: Sounds legit
MadModderX
I bet he also sells dong enlargers
Gekopa
@Frosti1icus: That's horseshit. Tetris Worlds shouldn't even be considered for your canon of titles on which you should be challenged. And which 360 title? Evolution or Splash?
And TetrisDS hits 20G. What makes it "easy" is that the lock delay doesn't shorten with the level increase, either.
"Level 1". Ugh.
@jei: Indeed, if I could pay in order to learn how to do an effective Tetris-T-Spin-Triple-Tetris combo, I would.
@DaFox: Damn kids and their STS randomization and lock delay! GET OFF MY LAWN
@Sonicandtails: Considering the diverse nature of the TC userbase, it wouldn't shock me if this ad was put up by one of the TCers.
@Phydeaux: Don't tell me that's horseshit. Worlds is authentic cannon made by the original designer. You want a piece? I will whoop you. Name the version. You will lose.
Frosti1icus
@Frosti1icus:
It is horseshit."Authentic canon"?! It was done by fucking Blue Planet - milkers of Tetris on fucking cellphones and then giving the seal of approval by THQ.
It has a NON STANDARD 10x22 playing field. It's Tetris For Babies.
Yeah, join me for some Tetris Splash action. Gamertag is XBD Phydeaux. Bring it the fuck on.