Game Controllers That Clean Your Filthy Hands

@kwyjibo hates RE5's tank controls!!!:

Still how so? are you implying that all from Mexico is infected therefore implying that a soap made there is ironic?

....cheap humor.

ADM86

I'd like my mouth washed out by an NES controller.

Kotaku--it's not just for cakes any more. LOL

Precisely molded, these things would make Martha Stewart proud. Just don't mix up the chocolates and the soaps, ok?

@Mister Jack Finally Bought Valkyria Chronicles: That'd be awesome to have in jail. (but not really)

LllusionX now has Valkyria Chronicles, bringing sales count to 10.

@excel_excel: Well, I do know how to work the sixaxis, if you know what i mean. (because I sure dont)

LllusionX now has Valkyria Chronicles, bringing sales count to 10.

@kwyjibo hates RE5's tank controls!!!: Hooray for H1N1 influenza A?

LllusionX now has Valkyria Chronicles, bringing sales count to 10.

Ok, so they removed the "Billkwando is...." section from our Gawker profiles.

Mine said "Billkwando is in ur bathroom, pwning your novelty soaps".

It would figure they would take it out right before it became useful.

@t3hdragon:

What aggravates me most are the people whose hands sweat so much... Like, how is that possible that the controller is wet? Or the people that mysteriously leave black dirt on my controllers who happen to like to play with my WHITE Xbox 360 controller. Ha!

TriplEEE13

I love the NES controller one. Do want!

@kwyjibo hates RE5's tank controls!!!: you mean they arnt dead yet?

raikoh05

@BarbeQueQ: Haha, yeah, not to mention redundant:

"shaped like a PlayStation 2-shaped controller."

@GriefTroll: I'm whatever you want me to be thailor.

Ah gross that looks like the controllers in eXistenZ. That always freaked me out.

Kaneda

@t3hdragon: Nothing's worse than someone SWEATING all over your DS! How do you sweat that much... from your hands... in a stationary position! >.<

@GriefTroll: I'm sure he'll find a hole to shock himself

@kwyjibo hates RE5's tank controls!!!: Well it seems you guys haven't been reading the paper recently...

kwyjibo hates RE5's tank controls!!!

Looks like the 360 control is going to wash my balls.

Jerpar

href="#c12576822">Chances: I just heard of etsy like a month ago, and as of this posting, I'm already sick of hearing about it.

My friend Sam put up her sweet rubbercraft apparel up on there using the name Road Rash Rubber: [www.etsy.com]

Now she just needs to make Skitchin' Stitchin'.@

@MrBionic: Are you hinting that you're gonna give yourself a "shocker" using a bar of soap? But you're a Mr...

@kwyjibo hates RE5's tank controls!!!: How so ?

Funny you mention those soaps, Fahey. If you click on my name, you'll see something that's been on my profile page for at least a year. :p

first person to create a dirty joke out of this gets a nod of shame

@celark: Nope. They look delicious.

@Foxstar is in love with Kotaku's two Brians.: Speaking of gaming bath products, growing up I had a Mario Kart 64 sponge. God I wish I never used that because its just a regular sponge now...

Wouldn't mind that NES controller slipping in unexpected places....

Dingler

check out the page itself.. the jet black Playstation and NES controllers are the shit. mmm blackberry fragrance.

geekgrrl

At my house, my wife has these nice towels that are for the guests- she gets all mad at me when I use them, saying, "THOSE ARE FOR THE GUESTS! THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!"

I was like, fuck that, so I wiped my dick across them when she wasn't looking.

Don't use the guest towels at my house.

-DL Hughley, "Genius of the GED"

Parapraxis

@Hey_Blinkon:good one

@kwyjibo hates RE5's tank controls!!!: That's not very nice

Hey_Blinkon

Those look too much like candy. I'd keep them away from kids, especially the Mountain Dew scented ones

Shin-san

@Derek Rumpler:

Haha. :( That doesn't sound(neither does it look) too healthy.

BarbeQueQ

You how your parents/teacher told you to sing row row row your boat to was for the right amount of time.
I guess we'll have to think of a new way for these soaps, Like entering the contra code a few times or singing the halo theme.

@The Forgetful Brain: At least it isn't the PS3 Boomerang controller. Put powdered sugar on one of those and...

Shin-san

Joystick up the....

Wouldn't it be ironic if they were made in Mexico?

kwyjibo hates RE5's tank controls!!!

They actually make ergonomic hand-washing sense as well, I bet you can wring a nice lather off those hand grips.

Didn't imagine myself saying that today.

woons

@t3hdragon: Agreed! I let those bastards (friends) into my home, and they repay me by dirtying up my controllers?! At least I always know which controller is the one I always use, as it's the only one that's clean and whose nooks and crannies aren't filled with god-knows-what. How do these people live with such filthy hands?! T^T

@MrBionic: Argh. Brilliant juvenile wit ruined by an un-editable typo. I don't KNOW.

I don't now. That Dual-Shock soap might give me a whole knew reason to clean extra good in the shower...

*wink*wink*nudge*nudge* Say no more!

.......mountain dew scented?

Seriously? Why on earth would I want my hands to smell like soda?

And even if I did....mountain dew? Disgusting.

slim934

Yep, I think I'm gonna have to bookmark that.

Am I the only one who gets the urge to eat these?

celark

Yeah I'd eat them. Espicially if they smelled of marshmallows.

Bend over and pick that controller up for me, would you lover?

I don't know if I like the sound of this:

"Late-night gaming snacks never looked this good! This chocolate candy is shaped like a PlayStation 2-shaped controller. Don't ask how it's blue and edible. It just is." [www.etsy.com]

As a kid, I loved video game themed bath products, so as part of my quest to have the most geeked out house ever, I would order a selection of each in bulk just to serve as bathroom brick a brack. Doubt I would use them as Dial and Irish Spring do the job just as well, cheaper and I don't feel as bad when it wears down to a nub which only can serve as toilet fodder.

@t3hdragon: Sounds to me like you're blaming others! ;)
No but in all seriousness, I know what you mean. Every now and then, my little brother gets his grubby little paws on my (black, it's worth noting) DS. It pisses me off so much.

All the pictures give me a 404 error.

Meanwhile, I approve. But the chocolate things are what win this for me.

@t3hdragon: That actually would be a really awesome way of rimshotting your friends. They ask for a controller for a Halo 3 4-player deathmatch, you give them a controller-shaped piece of soap! If that doesn't make them get the picture, nothing will.

And for a second I was about to say, "Is it strange that I want to eat those?"

At least I'm not alone.

Bright, neon colored objects always look tasty to me, for some reason...

Scented with Mountain Dew? I swear, they're everywhere nowadays.

Don't drop the controller...

Hey_Blinkon

Finally a solution for all the greasy fucks who use my controllers!

t3hdragon

@LllusionX now has Valkyria Chronicles, bringing sales count...: I have decided I don't WANT to know what you mean.

Om nom nom, so this is soap? Oh shi- om nom nom nom nom, its just too delicious!

@Chilly Hollow: I just hope they use different molds for both products. Last thing you want is your delicious, delicious white chocolate Wiimote tasting like Dial.

Speaking of eating video game shaped things, this reminds me of these Nintendo character lollipops I saw at the grocery store a while back. They had like several characters like Link and Donkey Kong. Should of gotten some. :(

@slim934: Yeah, I don't get the mountain dew scented... I don't think anybody wants to smell like a soda.

I wonder if I was the only one here who was willing to spend $15 on soap

Justin Abbasi

@Hey_Blinkon:
Bahahaha! Nice man. I think 90% of the people who have read your post wouldn't have got the joke though (even though there isn't really much to get).

AXATAX

@AXATAX: nominate this for week of comments.

Stealth_chill

@t3hdragon: i always bring my controllers to my friend's to play halo and there is always cheetos and a gallon of sweat on the controller.

Wilky_McBadass