Somali Showdown Lets *You* Take Down Virtual Pirates

@Koztah: Pedophiles would do everything while watching this show....

@tuckman: Lightsabers!? Damn, these pirates get craftier every second.

@PatrickF**kingStar: exactly. they can even buy a couple games. if somalians can do it, so can everybody else!(generaly though, i doubt it's good business practice to sell to somalians in the first place, i hear they're a bunch of pirates)

@Kenny: I get my Somali extermination fix by flying over there myself every now and then.

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lolgreg

@Netnavi: I dont know if its such a clear cut bad guy.... I would like to see what you do when you cant provide for your family and have all the possibilities of work taken away...oh yeah and live in a fucked up country.

@Kenny: well can you completely forget the illegal fishing which has destroyed their lively hood not to mention the illegal dumping of toxic chemicals as well on their coastlines while killing imaginary Somalians...hmmm?? can Black Hawk Down offer that huh... I think not....Good Day Sir

I don't think you could accurately call them "bloodthirsty", as they actually try not to kill anyone if possible, as they are after ransom money, which you can't get much of from corpses.

NumberFourtyThree

OOOH Right! It's ninja time!

cfive3

@surft: meh

starwind-hawking

@PatrickF**kingStar: I think the whole "everyone hates the USA" vibe we've had worldwide for years now seemed like enough motivation that it didn't need to be spelled out, at least for me ><. That, and mostly the movie was from the US soldiers' points of view, which is also fairly par for Hollywood.

kagekiri

@PatrickF**kingStar: Hey, my school was closed due to swine flu. AND IT WAS AWESOME

Acebuckeye13

@PatrickF**kingStar: well they kinda did with what they said at the planning phase.

starwind-hawking

That would make a very good Source mod.

uhhh will i be able to take out pirates from 800 yards with my superior weapons and training?

@sentroshi: wikipedia says it uses the source engine.

@Netnavi: "No one pitches a fit on this one."

Probably because everyone assumes it to be shit. I don't think anyone is taking this game seriously.

+ Watch video

Koztah

I heard the Kuma/War uses the HL2 engine, anyone wanna verify that?

sentroshi

SO What about Konami? If this is based on real events then what about "100 days in Falujah"? No one pitches a fit on this one. Oh yeah, that's because we won and have a clear cut bad guy.

We could have had a (hopefully) decent game that could have been out earlier, but now we have to wait for a new publisher.

I have a ton of games to go through anyway, but still...

@LllusionX now has Valkyria Chronicles, bringing sales count...: They can afford a PS3. Why can't everyone on Kotaku?

@RedRaptor: Did anyone ever figure out what was up with that Doctor in Greenland?

@royaljester: I loved how that movie gave them absolutely no motive for hunting down and killing soldiers. Very Hollywood.

After watching that South Park episode, I actually find it a bit harder to make jokes about this....no no wait I still do :(

celark

@LllusionX now has Valkyria Chronicles, bringing sales count...: Waving guns.

royaljester

They should give part of the proceeds from whatever they earned(through advertisement I believe) towards somali aid organizations. I know its fun to kill 'bad guys' but lets remember that most of these guys turned bad out of neceassity.

Anyway, alleviating poverty while profiting from the carnage makes us True(ly) Mortal! (Achievement Unlocked)

@Zegridathes: Madagascar already closed it's ports.

@Kenny: Very, very poor citizens at that.

Since this is based on actual events I suppose the gameplay will consist pf hiding on the ship with the door locked for 16 hours. The ships that were hijacked were crewed by sailors armed with...oh yeah nothing, remember?

ctorrans

i swear i thought it was a typo n read it samulai showdown LOL

EMPEROR_COW

Somalian pirates we?

I will only consider playing the game if at some point you get attacked by 4th graders and they steal your yacht at the point of "une lightsabre!!"

tuckman

@PatrickF**kingStar: You've got the next game's title all wrong, it's "Swine Flu PANDEMIC"!

So can I play as the U.S. Navy Seals and just shoot them all in the face?

Did you know that Somalia has approximately $600 USD per capita? True story.

From the people who brought you "SARS WARS", "Killerbee Krew", and "BASEMENT FALLOUT SHELTER SAGA", comes the newest fake-threat for the evening news to bicker over:

"Somali Showdown: Pirates on the High Seas"!!!

Now you too can experience the overblown action! Send half of your standing Navy into the Indian Ocean to stop some random thugs in boats! Harass President Obama for permission to shoot 3 men holding a gun to people's heads! Go through the trouble of bringing on of them all the way back to New York! Debate the legality of it for weeks until our next game, "Swine Flu OUTBREAK" is released!

Rawr, link?

Bobby Brankiewicz

Arr, be warry of the Headshot matties.

TheDJ17- Cold War II Vet.

I get my Somali extermination fix by playing Delta Force: Black Hawk Down.

You could either play this game and kill 3 Somali pirates, or you could play Black Hawk Down and kill THOUSANDS of Somali citizens!

So it turns out pirates actually just want blood. This simplifies matters.

what no link?

godlyzombie

YARRR, TIME TO MAKE THESE SCURVY DOGS WALK THE PLANK.

@EMPEROR_COW: Would that be samurai showdown as the city wok guy would pronounce it?

I wonder how many South Park references we can get in the comments. I've seen a few others relating to "Somalian Pirates We," but there are so many great references to Starvin' Marvin that making fun of those less fortunate than us shouldn't be hard at all.

@Monkey Bars: Nice pull.

@frostcircus: we just need to send an empty red cross vessel filled with AIDS contaminated blood to the coast of somalia and wait for all of the pirates to drink it.... although i guess there may be some ethical problems to that approach.

@dgd1542: Overreaction much?

@PatrickF**kingStar:

boo hoo one pro American Military movie, go watch one of your 20 or so crappy Iraq Americans are Nazi flicks.

dgd1542

"Good news first, the seas are in great shape."

@leadbelly666: I hope it would, that would make the game approximately 1000% more awesomer. I could shoot mutant Somalians with my minigun instead of plain old meat-shield women and children!

@Sutekh_Slain: So yes.

@leadbelly666: A fucked up country that the rest of the world has been taking a collective shit on for the past 20 years.

@ctorrans: Yeah and you're not playing as the crew. Notice how it says they attempt to hold the captain and crew hostage?

I think it's safe to assume that you don't play as the captain or the crew.

@BillyTheRatKing: "Remember, don't kill the white ones"

@celark: It's pretty sad when South Park more accurately depicts the situation than what any of the media reports.

Phazon

@leadbelly666: And are only trying to protect your country from the rest of the world using it as a dumping ground.

Phazon

When are they going to make a game where you get to be the Somali's and try to take foreign ships and put the crew up for ransom. Now that would be a game.

I'm very sad for the reputation my homeland has nowadays but well shit happens

Lyuse

@Monkey Bars: well, clear cut enough for the media and army guys to not care about. I get what you're saying though.

@Monkey Bars: That is correct.

ThatFuzzyBastard

@everyonesmom:
"fact" not "face"

everyonesmom

@Phazon:

No, it's not really sad, it's a face. They do that every episode.

everyonesmom

"Somalian pirates wee!"

everyonesmom

@NINTENDO_ZEALOT: Well, Kuma's games are all Source based, so yeah!

cfive3