Video Game Question For The Advice Columnist

@scrod3nt: Yeah you can't expect children to understand the difference between fantasy and reality when you're telling them Santa and Jesus are real... I understand your point entirely.

@JoJitsu4u: Yes, and I did it. It's not because I'm super smart or anything, it's because my dad just explained it in a way that makes sense to a young person. Anyone could do it. All it takes is the right approach. It has nothing to do with young minds being incapable of logical thinking. Argument NOT invalidated, smart ass.

liquidnumb

@spannu:

Depends... are we talking Barbie Horse Adventure horse games or Horse games where you play the ponies and place your bets?

Who knows? Maybe the kid'll become rich, invest money in a thouroughbred, and try and make big bucks on the kentucky derby?

But yeah, if your son, emphasis SON, wants Barbie Horse Adventures... then yeah, parents might go "uh oh!?"

~Otaku-Man

OtakuMan24

@King_Faisal_94: i dont punctuate wherever i go typed this in at around 12 am while kneeling besides my computer so excuse my grammar and i meant ssbb should be E and the other 2 should be teen really i can go to a pg13 movie and hear all the cursing its not like this stuff is hidden from kids its all over the internet on your television sets in the school yards all your kids know theese words they choose whether to use it or not i mean i dont go around constantly swearing, but all you start attacking me because you didnt understand what i meant and dont call me illiterate ive probably read more books in the past year than any of you have read in your lives

King_Faisal_94

@Lozmaster: you didnt get what i meant ssbb should be e and killzone and cod should be teen

King_Faisal_94

Eight year old? Yeah, sound advice. Once they're in middle school, though... they're heard worse.

hmm...racing games,

how about Carmagedon

@LazyMan: Distinguishing fantasy from reality is NOT a difficult concept.

why do modern parents use terms like "parenting philosophy"? what is that? Why not, "common sense", "good intentions" and "luck"?

tnmnsquare

The parents should also buy some hardcore porn for the boy, and watch it with him as a way to discuss morality.

SC123

@GameBuddy - Doesn't like tomatoes on his sandvich.: That was kind of my point, I guess. Your child will be much more likely to go along with your views and wishes if there is a strong relationship there.

The Forgetful Brain

Even if just for the sake of keeping screechers off of voice chat, please limit them to playing offline. It's better to play in person than it is to play over the internet.

Aside from that, there are plenty of video games that I wouldn't feel too bad about giving an 8 year old to play. Racing games are a solid choice for play over at someone else's house, and games like Tekken might be appropriate in a few years. PC Strategy games are a decent enough choice as well, I cut my chops on Age of Empires 2 when I was 10.

The columnist gives some very sound advice, I'd listen to it. Aside from maturity issues, obesity is a serious problem facing children today - if they're just sitting all day in a school where recess has been eliminated due to budget concerns, then shuttled everywhere by car, and parked in front of the couch until dinner, that's not healthy. Get them to play outside, sign them up for extracurricular sports... on the weekends, go out to public parks, the zoo, museums (God, Washington DC is wonderful sometimes). There are more options than video games. If they have to sit inside (rainy day), introduce them to chess where they have to exercise their brains in a way they aren't in school (by the way, chess was shown in clinical studies to improve grades), or at least a board game like Monopoly or Risk that encourages social conversation, strategy, planning... not just mindless button pushing. That's for later, when they have to deal with the stress of exams etc. and need a mental outlet.

So yes, dear writers, it's time for you to exercise that wonderful authority that is parenting to make a positive difference in your child's life. Good luck!

blash

Here's an idea, let the kid decide.

@The Forgetful Brain: I wonder if forbidding teen rated games would make them want to play those...

Ajh

@JoJitsu4u: His point wasn't about being taught Algebra at age six, it's that young children CAN be taught and then understand difficult concepts.

And Algebra IS a difficult concept.

Yeah, but what do they mean by a "violent game"? By violent do they mean Super Smash Bros., or do they mean Gears of War violent. If they mean Super Smash Bros. their morons, it's not really that bad. If they mean Gears of War, then their reasons are perfectly fine.

@Mokon: i would say, ok, but you have to win me in the game in question first :)....what is the game in question exactly?? of course no one is considering that, cause ESRB=god

@PhaserBait: its just a game...i was 10 and i played mortal kombat, (i loved "the pit" with the spikes at the bottom, it turned a classic motif in me and my friends "comics") i also watched the alien movies, freddy kruger, friday the 13th (so fucking scary movies), then carmaggedon got out (was like 13??) i told my female friend that you got more points if you killed the pregnant women...i told here just recently that that was a lie....fun times

americans are so concerned with not affecting children minds...you also have to give some room to let children "rebel", they are always looking for the "forbidden" stuff (or they dont in usa??), dont take ESRB or movie classifications SO SERIOUSLY, they are not based on cientific data or anything, its just parent consensus, and soccer mom concept is legendary around the world...

@scrod3nt: Says someone else who appears to be showing the same said intolerance.

Seriously, the intolerant ones are always the ones screaming at other people for being intolerant. It's a crying shame.

Kovitlac

She means well, but it's incredibly simple to say, "okay mom!" and then play the same games anyway.

The solution is easy enough for even a parent to understand - don't let him go over to that friend's house!

Kovitlac

@Sloopydrew:

not to mention, how shitty does a car have to be to be utterly decimated by getting a turtle shell thrown at it?

@svenhoek: Still Happy Pitt Won!: I object to the sporting bit. But out in the yard with muddy knees..well I did that a lot at 8.

Ajh

@SafiaDento: Precisely.

Why would you let your kid go someplace where he can do things that aren't age appropriate and you don't want him doing?

If the parents of the child's friend aren't okay with banning the M rated games while the kid is visiting, then visits have to either stop, or invite the friend over where they can make sure their son isn't getting into things he shouldn't.

Ajh

Hey violence is OK. I grew up in the 90s and violence and sex was all over the place! And I turned out just fine...

If you'll excuse me I have an urge to play MadWorld...and then maybe go get a...massage.

@deanbmmv:
Haha, how true

Masonvrocks

@Deaf Mute:
"But still, as a seven year old I knew ripping people's arms off was not only impossible to replicate, but that it was wrong"

Be sure to thank your parents!

SuperSonik

@SuperSonik: I'm not saying M-rated games are terrible. I played perfect dark and I thought nothing more of it than another way to kill time and feel challenged simultaneously. You still have to be a parent, that's all.

SuperSonik

@Southrncomfortjm: Harris and Klebold had parents who thought they were "normal" too. You can be responsible for your kids actions even if you remain purposefully ignorant of what lessons they've learned. There's a reason for that.

SuperSonik

@liquidnumb: The average child does not learn algebra at age six. Argument invalidated.

JoJitsu4u

@SuperSonik: Screwed up that sentence in the middle. Pay no mind.

SuperSonik

@NeoStarr: I wonder what kinds of statistics you've got to back up your theory of depicted "teen" violence being more consequential that depicted "adult" violence. And I don't mean absolute numbers. Kids are playing way more T-rated games than M, so you'd have to have normalized statistics based on the sample size. There's a reason that ACCURATE values for those stats are hard to find, and that's why we discuss it here instead. Why they keep focusing on studies in this area. Are you really prepared to say that looney-tunes-like cartoon violence is somehow more destructive than running over the 'ho you just paid? Really?

Im sorry, but saying you "think it's more likely" is not enough of a basis to stand up on a soapbox here.

SuperSonik

@The Anti-Fanboy: Exactly. I remember being very young and getting a Grand Theft Auto game, and before I played I was told several times it's just a game and does not translate into real life, among other things.

@art_zombie: Less video games, and more activities perhaps utilizing these sporting implements?

As I aged, I lived through an era where the videogames were not violent, but the cartoons on saturday morning were. I'm talking about Robotech(uncensored), Galaxy Rangers, and Bionic Six. There were many others on saturday morning as well. Videogames on the other hand were hardly violent. I'm now talking Tapper, Qbert, Jungle Hunt, Hang On, and Pango.

Now today is the very much reverse. No saturday morning cartoons and games where in decapitation, nudity and drugs are very much the norm.

I turned out ok I think. Truth be told the last generations intollerance on tv just changed the violence on those shows to a different format.

@The Anti-Fanboy: What is this 'common sense' you speak of? Get that bullshit off the internet!

billyjr82

@ThisCharmingMan: Pretty sound advice if it applied to the situation. No one else seemed to comment about it but... the parents can't control what his friends want to play, the kids parents asked "I don't want them to stop being friends, tell him to stop going to his friends house, or tell the other parents to control their games" and the advice columnist took it as they had direct control and said to limit games played or encourage the kids to go outside.

The parents can't do that because the kids aren't at their house.

chronomasakari is dizzy from the spinning of games

@Monster Chalk: I really hope that reply to your own comment means this was a joke. I really hope.

@The Forgetful Brain: I like to think that a healthy relationship with your child would yield love and respect for you and your wishes so you wouldn't have to think they were disregarding everything you ever told them because they're over at a friend's house.

@Gyaruson: I said my mom did it. Times was different and such. I'm not gonna make the same mistakes my parents made and all that oscar winning shit.

@King_Faisal_94: Come back when you learn how to actually back up your own opinion instead of drivel for the sake of drivel.

Millions of children every year are exposed to, or have exposed themselves to, violent video games. I was exposed to violent video games early on, and it didn't affect me negatively. The fact that my mother tried to keep them from me only encouraged me to lie to her. Kids can tell that violence is wrong, but they won't think twice about lying to you to get what they want. Why hold something from them? Just explain to them that violence is bad.

And anyone saying that an 8 year old can't tell fantasy violence from real violence is pretty uninformed. Children develop cognitavely at completely different times, so one 8 year old may not be ready for it whereas another 6 year old could be. Both children will actively seek to play these games if they want to. I don't think sheltering is the answer.

And the person who said "interfering" with your kid's lives is called parenting is a far cry from what parenting is. I'm not saying interference isn't sometimes necessary, but it is by no means a good first option... ever.

Mike Lindemann

Teach your kid the difference between reality and fantasy and you'll never have to worry about what kinds of games their friends play.

Bricked

@Apotheosis likes that he can change his username:

Haha. "There are plenty of great games that aren't Bratz/girly for an 8 year old boy to enjoy. Twilight Princess..."

I hope at least 1 person reading that didn't know franchise you were talking about.

USMarty

@NeoStarr:
I'd prefer to see parents aware of what their kids are playing, and making the decision of what games they play themselves. If your kid has an interest in video games, take up an interest yourself. See what's out there and what is appropriate for your child to see and hear. The whole, "Video games are for kids so everything must be okay" approach is not right, in my opinion. Does playing GTA and GoW make children into killing machines? No. But I'd rather have my child keep his/her innocence intact for as long as possible, without having curse words and nudity projected into their mind.

Kids mimic what they see, it's always been that way. That's why I wanted to be a Ninja Turtle, a hockey player (Mighty Ducks) and thought that spinach can make you stronger. For me, I'll wait until they are old enough to differentiate fantasy and reality before allowing them to annihilate the Locusts, or pick up hookers in exchange for health. What that age is totally up to the parents. But that's just how I role.

Now excuse me, but I need to have sex with some maiden in God of War in order to get a bunch of red orbs.

I think the implied "very best option" shows how smart this writer is. Obviously he's refering to starting a neighborhood fight club for all the kids where sporting impliments are fair game and in between real matches hot girls mud wrestle. How awesome would it be to watch Timmy recreate his favorite Soul Calibur move with a hockey stick?

1st rule of kid Fight Club: No one talks about Fight Club.
2nd rule of kid fight Club: Someone HAS to bring apple juice for everyone every week.

Tristenkw5

The parents need to make sure that the kid understands the differences between fiction and reality. Not letting him play violent games will only stunt his development.

I for one, have been able to play or watch whatever I wanted since I can remember having a desire to do so. But you know what? Everybody I have ever met has walked away with the impression that I am extremely mature, which is saying something, since I am only 14. And trust me when I say that is not bragging, since I have one of the most terrible work ethics you can imagine.

I played Diablo when I was eight. I remember walking through the Monastery catacombs looking for Andariel and thinking that it was scary as shit. But, you know what? I have been able to walk away from that, a more experienced, cultured individual. When my relatives talk about the recession, the war in Iraq, or the protests in Iran, I am able to discuss it with them as if I am one of their peers.

"Protecting" your kid from sex, drugs, violence, whatever, will not work. It will just deprive them of the experience, and when the kid finally does see one of these things, he will be unsure of how to deal with it. Instead of just not allowing things, you should talk to your kids about what they are and what they mean.

NotHellTempest

@shimage:
I agree. I'm not sure why blowing up shit is fun for adults either. I consider myself an adult, and don't find it particularly more fun to blow up stuff than to not.

Personally, had I children, I'd try to monitor what games they like to play, and if they seem to have a definite tendancy towards the violent ones, I'd think about getting them some counseling... I still believe that all these anti-game violence people have cause and effect backwards. Violent games don't make people violent. Violent people like violent games. A marked preference towards violent games, IMO, is a very early warning sign of a possible problem.

GnatB

@bakagaijin:
A winner is you!

@PowerFeed: My parents bought me Diablo, but wouldn't spring for Star Wars: TIE Fighter because it "was just gonna make me want to shoot things all the time".

I call it the "You're not even trying here" approach.

The correct answer is: Madden.

It's violent, in that good ol' fashioned American way that everyone can get behind.

@scrod3nt: Young children can't grasp things like that? False. Absolutely false. My dad taught me algebra when I was 6. I'm am absolutely positive an 8 year old can be taught what's real and what's not, and why that's important. Discretion isn't one of those things that magically materializes at 18.

liquidnumb

These parents sound pretty reasonable. I don't really see how this is different than movies. When I was a kid, I had friends that weren't allowed to watch certain movie ratings that I was allowed to watch, so we didn't watch them when they were over. It was annoying sometimes, but we got over it. I also think it's a great idea to offer to get a cool game that they approve of. They sound like good parents.

There are games that 8 year-olds shouldn't be playing. 16-bit mortal kombat is in a completely different league than the games available today. There is a lot more to it than the ability to recognize whether it's real or not, just like knowing a scary movie isn't real won't prevent them from having nightmares.

anabbeynormality

I hate seeing parents always turn to others for how to raise thier kids. You either have the parental instinct or you dont.

Your kids should know the difference between real imaginary before they are 8 years old. Hell, When i got my first nintendo the day it came out I didnt go out thinking I could jump on turtles and mushrooms and then bang my head into things trying to getstuff out...
But at the same time... there rpobly were kids who did based on how they are raised.

If you raised your child right, then him playing violent video games shouldnt concern you.

But if your lazy and sit him in front of GTAS so hes quiet for you... then... well..

Ur-Lord-Crypy

It's sad to see all these commenters in here acting like and 8 year old should be able to and only play M-rated games. Are you all serious?

PlatformJunkie

@MooglesInMyFace: I think his point was more along the lines that the real world catches up with everyone sooner or later. Good job with the cynicism, though.

liquidnumb

What's so hard about sitting down with your kid and talking about the types of games he plays at his buddy's house? Explain the difference between reality and video games and that one does not carry over into the other.

If kids understand the difference early they will be able to make the choice of what is right and wrong in real life, not a video game.

Sekthruth

Here's a thing

Teach your kid the things in the video game are wrong in the REAL world before trying to cut off all exposure to them.

I am not entirely sure why blowing shit up is fun for adults, but dangerous for kids. Even as a child, I knew that movies and videogames were fantasy.

I'm sure there are children that can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality, but I would also argue that those children will have problems when they grow up regardless of what videogames they play. The solution is not to restrict the child's access to media, but to find a long term solution to his/her mental illness.

The suggestion to bring over an exciting new non-violent game is a good one, but sadly how many exciting new non-violent games are there these days? I can't think of any really good new games below a T rating for Xbox 360 or PS3.

Wii has a lot of non-violent options but from the article I just assumed they are playing an Xbox or PS because Wii isn't really that violent of a console.

jcb231

@Monster Chalk: Wow. There are plenty of great games that aren't Bratz/girly for an 8 year old boy to enjoy. Twilight Princess, Smash Bros. Brawl, Burnout Paradise, and Rock Band come to mind. There are many many more that I haven't listed.

Apotheosis likes that he can change his username

@The Anti-Fanboy: Videogames are a terrible way to teach real world morality. I know that you didn't mean it that way, but I think violent, amoral videogames should be kept from kids until they develop a foundation of morals for which to judge the game for themselves.

I think you want to make sure your kid is VERY good friends with the other kid. He's obviously the type of kid whose parents let him get away with anything causing him to have no limits, eventually resultin in him snapping and shooting up the school, and you want him to like YOUR kid enough to let him live.

GnatB

@SafiaDento: You took the words right out of my mouth.

All of the people saying "introduce him to the alternative" are right; nothing has power over a child like the word "novelty"; just buy or rent better games, ones that provide a good play experience without being violent.

And should you find that you are so conservative that *every* game you can think of to buy is so bland and inoffensive as to not be actually any fun? Well... Then you have bigger problems, really, and the games are just a symptom.

But in all probability, he's a fan of Ben 10 Alien Force and a plethora of other cartoon-based entertainment that all port fairly well into games that are reasonably well targeted, and the tie-in to TV and other non-game toys is usually strong enough to counter any M game out there.

@stop2: Well if you learn to drive better....

Just talk to the other parent. If they're a reasonable individual they'll understand. If not, than it's probably not someone you want your child around in the first place, video games or not.

When I was younger, my parents did not disapprove of me playing games like "Mortal Kombat." But, they made it abundantly clear to me that what I was witnessing was NOT reality; rather, it was all a fantasy that should not be attempted outside of the game.

But, I see nothing wrong with the idea of offering alternative titles to play as opposed to the violent stuff being played at the friend's house.

@King_Faisal_94: I know where you're coming from.

EVERYBODY IN THIS THREAD GO READ "GRAND THEFT CHILDHOOD" NAO!!!

The argument that cartoon and realistic violence should be rated equally is pretty solid, in my books. Realistic violence most often leads to realistic consequences, and you'll learn from both. Comic violence, while not often as easily emulated, rarely ever sees anything but a humourous outcome. I think it's more likely to imagine a kid hitting another kid with a hammer because he saw it on Smash Brothers than it is to imagine a kid shoot another kid because he saw it on Call of Duty. Besides, they imaginary stuff like in Smash brothers is stuff that will be emulated in casual play, whereas something out of a realistic game is more likely to be emulated in aggressive circumstances. Which of these states of mind are kids more likely to be in around dangerous objects, do you imagine?

Fuck those who are calling you a troll. You may be 15 and illiterate but you're still right.

@NeoStarr: If it doesn't get comment of the week, at least it got a gegege*snort* from me.

Showmeyomoves!

@introvert: Cartoon violence is still violence.

Using other games as a trojan horse seems like the good option to me. I won't let my children play M or T rated games at age 8. End of story. I may be into GTA, No More Heroes, Manhunt and others, but my kids don't need to be exposed to that content yet. They're simply not old enough to handle it.

There are many great games kids can play at that age. Give them Super Smash Bros Brawl, PGR4, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, etc. They don't need to be playing Halo.

introvert

@PhaserBait: I think children are a lot more mature than a lot of "adults" give them credit for.

@Monster Chalk: The sad fact is that I can't tell if you're serious or not.

@soulsiphon says My name is NOT Rookie, Venkman!!:
that's completely fair, and you obviously have done something right for your kids to be able to distinguish between reality and fantasy.
but i firmly believe that kids are growing up faster because we allow them access to things sooner than we were allowed that same access.
sure, we played video games at young ages too but 25 years ago, the games were designed as distractions, now they push to be ultra-realistic.
i don't think that kids will think it is OK to kill each other. they just become unfazed at seeing it so much.

scrod3nt

@art_zombie: or they could simply tell the other kids parents about ESRB ratings....would they let there kid go to a rated r movie?

urbanturban666

@PowerFeed: I applaud your parents.

WHAT?! Recommending *gasp* parenting over baselessly blaming video games for all of society's problems?! BLASPHEMY!

WarlockSoL

maybe you should point out the ESRB ratings of games to the other kids parents...

urbanturban666

@Talleh:

Exactly. If violent video games really did have a psychological impact as suggested by numerous defense pleas. Then the teen murder rate should be through the roof and I should by a psychopathic killer by now. It has to do with generational divides and the parents individual comfort levels.

My child could spend hours playing games and I'd be fine with that. Hours texting? ....eeh might have some problems there. That's just my personal comfort levels though, doesn't mean texting is going to turn my child into a brain dead turdlodyte.

LanciePants

@ankhenaten: The quoted text was about curtailing video game use and having them do other things than just that. I'm not saying that one option is better than the other, but there needs to be a healthy balance between the two.

nukee

@Monster Chalk: What could possibly be worse than ending up a stereotypical red blooded american male like yourself? Do tell?

Did the type of games you played as a child turn you into the man you are today? If so... you just made a pretty strong endorsement AGAINST allowing kids to play the same types you played.

@PowerFeed: My mom took the "Whatever, video games are for kids" approach and bought me Duke Nukem 3D and GTA1 when I was like, 10. She's much more aware now (I sort of force her to be), and constantly reminds me that if she could take back some of those choices she would have. But hey, I turned out alright. A bit of an asshole to converse with but a nice guy overall.

@SafiaDento: "Also, saying "Timmy is not allowed to play M games" should be something you feel comfortable saying to the parents of your child's friend. If you don't know the people well enough to say that why are you letting your kid hang out at there place?"

Well said.

I had a next door neighbor's kid think I was the coolest guy around. I had all kinds of games, I watched cartoons and I never talked down to him about different subjects.

While sometimes we'd go out as a kind of "Big Brother" thing, he'd often come over to play games. One of which was PS1's Silent Hill. I let him just play the first 15 minutes and get scared as the monster kids were going after Harry and I just turned off the system. Later, we were at a mall and he wasn't paying attention as kids are wont to do. I told him the next time that happens we'd head back and I'd make him play Silent Hill more.

Man, that straightened things out really well. Nary a problem at all. Whoever said violent video games are bad for kids never really gave it much thought.

wirebrain

kids in adult bodies giving advice to kids who want to be adults. ironic.

@King_Faisal_94: But it has been proven to have an effect on a person's ability to use punctuation.

@Rubix42: when i was 9 i played mortal kombat over at a friends house quite a bit. I haven't ripped anyones spine out yet so I think its okay.

When it comes to media consumption, overrestrictive parents ruin children's teen and adult lives more quickly than parents that will actually use their intellect and assist their children in understand the difference between games and life, or cartoons and reality.

Unless you think your child isn't intelligent enough to make those distinctions, I would allow him to play with his friend.

@scrod3nt: Well, if it weren't possible for young children to distinguish reality from fantasy, I would have beaten up and killed a ton of people by now, what with all the Power Rangers and the Mortal Kombat.

@Southrncomfortjm: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Dear god I hope this gets comment of the week.

The columnist has a good point, if you're going to be a parent, you'll eventually have to ask another set of parents to change something, unless you all happen to be really similar. If not video games, it would be the kinds of imaginary games, or TV shows/movies, or music, or whatever it is kids do today. The only difference is the stigma for video games making kids violent is new and fresh, where music making you worship Satan is old news, and TV violence is so commonplace it's not given a second look. In twenty years we'll all be worried our kid's new brain interface is making them violent, or their thought-to-text machine is lowering their test scores.

@Rubix42: Doesn't have to be a fight with the other kid's parent's. They should be receptive to the wishes of another parent. However, some things are worth fighting over. If the other kid usually plays backyard wrestling with gardening tools, a trampoline, and the roof of the house I would do whatever I needed to to make sure my 8-year-old was not involved. Anyone who thinks it is their job to expose my children to the things I have decided they shouldn't be isn't going to spend much time with them.

PhaserBait

@nukee: Perhaps there are more than a few hours in the day and often children will be overnight at their friends. If it's dark outside the children are not going to be playing outside. Perhaps they might want to play some games. So no, telling them to get the kids outside does not resolve the issue.

Playing some games does not equal lounging around all day.

ankhenaten

@undefined:

My son, who is 5, told me flat out that Motorstorm was a terrifying game and not to play it in front of him. He just couldn't stand to see my character get knocked off the motorbike and dashed against the ground.

And he's right! I should never have let him see that game, but I was thinking "this will be alright, it's just racing." He was right, I was wrong.

stop2

@nukee: It's a wonderful idea. Instead of them playing games about hitting and tackling others they do it in real life!

One problem seems to be that there's very little a kid can do outside these days.

wirebrain

@scrod3nt: the kid's 8, not 5. at that age, kids are perfectly capable of understanding that there are consequences to trying to do in real life what they can do freely in video games. I have 3 kids, all of which were practically born with controllers in their hands. not once did I have to repeat my teaching of the idea of fantasy vs. reality to any of them from that age forward. my son, the oldest, even hit me with "I get it, dad, I'm not dumb." you really shouldn't underestimate the power of understanding in children, they grow up far faster now than they did when I was that young.

soulsiphon says My name is NOT Rookie, Venkman!!

When my parents didn't want me to play Mortal Kombat, they didn't explain anything. They just said no.

Of course I found ways to play them, but later I realized they were just looking out for me and what I spent my time doing for a hobby.

As a parent I don't think you want your child completely desensitized.

Bonus-Round

@King_Faisal_94: You're a bitter, illiterate fifteen-year-old. You have no right to bitch.

@NeVeRMoRe666: Precisely.

a good book that might helps shed a bit of light on this kinda thing is grand theft childhood. no, it's not some book bad-mouthing vidja gaims. the researchers did the unthinkable: they actually interviewed kids and their parents about video game specific topics. i don;t totally agree with all of its opinions, but it seemed to be much better researched than other supposed "factual" books on the topic.

it's a good read, even provides a condensed history of how society reacts to new media/entertainment stuff...

I think the best thing you could teach a child is to be responsible in making their own decisions about things. This involves quite a big of leg work in trusting your child to make the right decisions, but if you've been a good parent, there shouldn't be anything that could dispell the values you've instilled in them. That's how my parents taught me. They trust me to make my own decisions, sometimes I've made poor ones, but in turn I have learned from them and grew as a person without losing the values they've taught me. In the end, its a balance between not hovering but also, not raising a wild child.

Well, I'm not sure this counts for nowadays since graphics and whatnot have improved, but I used to play a lot of violent games at my friends house when I was young that I'm sure my parents would never have approved had they known. I wasn't (or at least like to believe :p ) that I wasn't negatively affected by them in any way.

I think the important thing is for the child to understand what they're doing when they play violent games. They should understand that when they play a game, the violence is the most basic representation of conflict in life, and it is conflict that makes the game enjoyable.

Essentially, I think if you're worried about your child playing games, ask them questions about what they play, why they play and how they play it. Get them to think about these things and they won't just soak up the violence, they'll start to think about it critically.

Just my thoughts anyway.

If a child/kid/minor is MATURE enough to understand its a game and is not a training video or anything..let them play MATURE games (to an extent of course..some mature games do need to stay out of childrens hands)
Honestly,If you tell the kid he can only play racing games at his friends house..he's probably just gonna stay home and play the violent games he got other relatives to buy for him :P

@Monster Chalk: Righty-O, Then!

nukee

My cousin and i played Doom when i was like, 5. I would let the kid play but i would talk a bit with him and try to watch a bit of what they are watching/playing.

To be honest, it's no big deal. Try to introduce him to other games, Pure for example is awesome.

492b2 3b5t5k4mk3 3ñx39

@Monster Chalk:
wow. glad to see Intolerance hasn't been affected by the recession.

scrod3nt

@PhaserBait:

When I was 8, the friends house was the arcade. Nothing parents can do about this other than stop the friendsip or fight with the other kids parents.

Rubix42

@BryanH: fake babies are the worst

spannu

The way my mom dealt with this situation is just to tell me not to play those games when i was over their houses. She offered no alternative. It only made me want to play them more. If you limit your child too much it'll backfire.

That being said...maybe buy your kid a new game, do some research, find out what's new/fun/rated E, have them bring that over. No, not EVERY time they go to a kids house...you know what I'm getting at.

@svenhoek: Still Happy Pitt Won!: How is that being ignorant? Getting the kid outside and having them actually do something physical is far better for them than to lounge around all day playing games.

nukee

@PhaserBait: I agree. Whenever there is a post on Kotaku (or any other game forum) about some state trying to pass a law to outlaw violent videogame sales to minors, there are people like, "parents need to monitor and not let kids buy these." Which is, of course, correct, but the problem is also other peoples' kids. I think its perfectly reasonable to request the other parent only allow kid-friendly games when my kid is in their house.

Mokon

Teaching your kids responsibility, and giving them a good moral center will get them farther than telling them they aren't allowed to do something, thus encouraging the forbidden fruit.

@Monster Chalk: ^you neo-con jesus freak.

It really depends on the type of kid and how they're raised. I played the original GTA all the time at my friends house. We were only 9 at the time but his older brother had bought it. To me it was nothing more than a stupidly fun game that let you be the mafioso that you always saw on the TV. But it ended when I left the keyboard.

nukee

@King_Faisal_94: How about, when I have kids, I don't want them saying "fuck fuck fuck" cause they heard it in Killzone 2? Retard.

njd09

OR you could quit being a pussy and realize that your son is Male and if he keeps playing Bratz games he'll become not a Male anymore, but something much worse.

And then you'll really have something to complain about.

AND the truly sad thing will be that fact that you'll never be able to go to his wedding because the said state has banned it.

@until.december: Wow. Dear Occam's Razor. That's a genius idea.

aubreyAubrey

@PowerFeed:
and we wouldn't want them to RESEAVE that.

scrod3nt

My first videogame was Mortal Kombat, now albeit graphics in those days were FAR worse than the graphics of today.

But still, as a seven year old I knew ripping people's arms off was not only impossible to replicate, but that it was wrong.

I saw videogames as fantasy, a testament that yes even young kids can separate fantasy from reality. As long as you teach them that and question them on it, not that I think what these parents did weren't a good idea.

But if the little boys of the past could play Cowboys and Indians and not grow up to be genocidal maniacs, so can they now.

The end of the paragraph (all of one sentence) which has been omitted does put the whole answer into context.

"The very best option, of course, involves the yard, sporting implements and muddy knees. "

I'm not certain I disagree to be honest. While I love video games I know that I can live a balanced life because I was introduced to books and playing with toys and playing with friends and sports well before I started playing video games.

It's nice to see a question and a reply in advice column that is sensible.

manusdei

The way I see it, the bottom line is this:

The more you restrict your child, the more your child is going to wiggle free from that and rebel. Kids are going to do what they want to do, whether or not you give them the go ahead. If you harshly restrict what your child can do, it's just going to damage the relationship between child and parent, as the child finds other, likely less constructive ways to get at what he desires.

My parents wouldn't let me play 'M' rated games, so I just lied and played them at my friends' houses. Eventually, my parents saw I wasn't the type to go around burning the neighbor's cat and eased up on the violence restrictions after a while. Try building a strong relationship with your child and just talk to them - let them know that real violence is a terrible thing, and be reassured that the child knows there is a line between these two things. Then trust your child to use their best judgment from the connection you have with them, and their own surprisingly strong intellect.

I guess the article is not a terrible approach, but I still think it's an awkward thing to say, 'Uh, yeah... can you make sure my rules are enforced at your house?' That's something that is going to depend entirely on the situation.

The Forgetful Brain

@Meohfumado: To most 8 year old kids, the fantasies we see are reality to them.

nukee

By 8, i was already playing Doom, Wolfenstien 3D and Mortal Kombat........

Mind you my parents introduced me to violent media as early as possible, they took a "The world is a violent place, the sooner your exposed to it, the better" approch.

This kid's parent's are take the typical "Sheltered baby" approach to protect their pride and joy from the bad things in the world....but the longer you keep you kid in such an environment, the harder the blow they reseave once they leave home and go out in the world.

PowerFeed

In the span of time it took for that letter to be written, mailed, responded to, printed and then read by the parents, they could have simply talked to their child about fictional violence, read about the games being played by their son, and asked their son why the friend prefers violent video games. Perhaps they should have wrote to Dear Occam's Razor.

until.december

@King_Faisal_94: Do we have to pay a toll to cross this bridge? You're not getting any of my money, that's for sure, Troll.

aubreyAubrey

@The Anti-Fanboy: Sure. They should also show their 8-year-old a few R-rated movies per week for "discusion" purposes. Maybe, not.

Discussing is good, as well as not freaking out if your child is exposed to something you don't agree with, but children really need to be protected from things that are too mature for them to handle.

PhaserBait

@King_Faisal_94: Well the big difference you see there is the fact that SSBB is very cartoon violence while CoD and KZ are both war-sims. I'm not sure I'd call their rating system fake, it's very similar to the movie ratings, and is there to help unknowing parents decide if they want their child to play the content in a game.
While violence in games might not make people want to be violent, I do think that we are all being desensitized to it.

Last line killed it. Why must everyone who knows nothing about video games talk shit? I wish I could build a machine that would show these people how fucking ignorant they are.

svenhoek: Fuck Fireworks. Ghostbusting.

Here's what you do: you ask the kid (1) what he learned at school that day and then you ask him (2) what he learned at his friends house. If the answer to (1) is "nothing" and (2) is "how to get a prostitute to blow me and then get my money back without the cops catching me" then you *might* have a problem. However if answers to both (1) and (2) are "nothing" then you have a perfectly normal boy.

@SaanZ:

More people might have been hurt fighting Locust ironically enough.. if you take into consideration a lack of food..

SaanZ

@King_Faisal_94:
Yes. Comic violence vs gory realistic (if futuristic) shooting should be rated the same. Idiot

Lozmaster

@Sloopydrew:

EXACTLY! And what about sports games?

More people are hurt enjoying both football and recreational gang activity than from fighting LOCUSTS... EVERY YEAR, THATS A HUGE NUMBER!

SaanZ

@Sloopydrew: The death toll in Super Mario Kart must be astronomical. I mean, think about it. They'll give a driver's license to mentally-retarded gorillas, barely-sentient plant life, and babies. Real babies, not like fake babies or anything.

And that's before you get to the fact that they seem to have a much more lenient stance on the use of vehicular weaponry than most.

@The Anti-Fanboy: I would advice the parents to have their son invite the other kid to play games to their own house, and then recommend them both to play other games, or maybe offer them to rent new games and when they're choosing, tell which ones you will rent and which ones you won't.
You know, give them incentives to play other types of games.

Dresan

@Meohfumado:
that's really not possible with young kids. they can't grasp things like that. you can't ask them to think about things logically then tell them to get to bed so santa can stop by.
my parents were strict catholics, so they would tell parents of kids i visited that there was a rating limit on movies i could watch. stuff like that.
it was kind of drag sometimes, but it was just them trying to do what was right.
i haven't been to church since '94, but they tried.

scrod3nt

@Meohfumado:

How about you just respect the fact that not everyone wants their child playing Grand Theft Auto.

MooglesInMyFace

The only reasonable option seems to be making sure your son understands his bounds as well as the parents of the child he is hanging out with. At eight a child should know the games he can and cannot play. While he is sure to try out these games at a friends house on occasion the overwhelming sense of guilt at disobeying his parents should keep him from the long term immersion and obsession most parents are worried about. Also, saying "Timmy is not allowed to play M games" should be something you feel comfortable saying to the parents of your child's friend. If you don't know the people well enough to say that why are you letting your kid hang out at there place?

SafiaDento

@The Anti-Fanboy: Agreed. There's a lot of value in making your child understand the reason behind certain decisions you're making on their behalf.

gametr4x

@The Anti-Fanboy:

The kid is 8. "interfering" in his life is called parenting.

MooglesInMyFace

Pretty sound advice. However (as a 25 year old child myself) I know that if the kids get the jist of the fact that their parents don't want them playing such games it will become even more enticing to the runts. Simply talking to your children works wonders. But hey, I'm no parent...

oh come one i dont think violence in game has an effect on anyone well maybe some but really the esrb is a fucked up rating system i mean really super smash bros brawl TEEN call of duty 4 MATURE killzone 2 MATURE how fake

King_Faisal_94

I like this idea of using other games as a Trojan Horse. As long as he doesn't actually pick horse games, that is.

spannu

Racing games? RACING games? Do you know how many people die in automobile accidents each year, due to reckless driving? More than die from chainsaw maiming, that's how many!

How about you just confirm that your child knows the difference between reality and fantasy?

Meohfumado

Definitely need more parents taking this advice...

I think they're smart parents for not completely interfering with their kids' life, but instead of attempting to get rid of violent videogames altogether, I think maybe it may be wise for them to talk about these videogames with the child and use it as an opportunity to help the child learn about morals in the real world.