A Glimpse At G.I. JOE On The Playstation 3
Due out next month, G.I. Joe The Rise of the Cobra hasn’t been making many favourable impressions around Kotaku tower.
These screens from the Playstation 3 version of the game don’t really do much to change my mind.
The game will let players take on the role of one of the game’s dozen playable G.I. Joes or four of the unlockable COBRA operatives. The game includes two-player coop and 20 levels. It is due out on Aug. 4 for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii, PlayStation 2, Nintendo DS, PlayStation Portable as well as mobile phones.
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
MadExponent
To each their own but damn you know.
ArJay
Ur-Lord-Crypy
@Southrncomfortjm: It looks like Marlon is in the movie -------FROM VARIETY) – Marlon Wayans has joined the cast of Paramount's upcoming G.I. Joe feature. He will play Ripcord, the leader of the military unit. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Killshot, 3rd Rock From the Sun) is also in negotiations to join the project, based on Hasbro's U.S. soldier action figure. Shooting is scheduled to start next month for an Aug. 7, 2009 release. Wayans most recently starred in Little Man and The Ladykillers and is now developing a cop action spoof for Paramount with brothers Shawn and Keenen Ivory Wayans. (Variety)------- Marlon Wayans cast in ''G.I. Joe'' | Marlon Wayans | Movie News | News + Notes | Entertainment Weekly URL:http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20169702,00.html
ArJay
tenio
Ur-Lord-Crypy
ArJay
It's funny how so many people say that ''gameplay is more important than graphics'', but when a game comes out with less than cutting edge visuals, that goes right out of the window for most of those hypocrites.
This could be good or bad, but I have to play it first to find out. It looks like an old school shooter, and I bet a bunch of you still play those.
JSPOOLE
SuperSonik
normalmode
@mister5000: Centurions was tripe and GI Joe predates it by 22 years.
Spot on with everything Joe related sucking this year though...
@SmilingPolitely: I guess I must be the only person on the planet that had ZERO problem with the Dam level back when that game was released. Never once lost a Turtle in that bomb part...and even 10 years later I showed my friends I could do it with ease, they were PISSED because they never saw the end of it! The city level immediately following afterwards, however...
@iEro-Sennin: i went to see transformers 2 this weekend i saw the trailer for the movie.
they started talking about suits to accelerate you and i was like: holy fucking shit a crysis movie?!... but whys it in a city. then i quickly realized it wasnt crysis. then the title stunned me. gi fucking joe. but i was still very impressed by what i saw though i looks like it has little to do with the old gi joe.
abort_user
@Save me: There was a GI Joe game for the Commodore 64. :)
@RadioactiveSoup: its a game based on a movie based on a toy based on another toy.
i want this game to be good. and i plan to see the movie but im not really expecting much from either.
abort_user
Like the movie, this will ruin my childhood thoughts of GI Joe. So the game too, wont get my money.
Mathematically, using the common case, we have:
game (good * movie) = bad * game
game (regular * movie) = awful * game
game (bad * movie) = Miami Vice (even though I like the movie);
movie (good * script) = good * movie
movie (good * script * toys) = average * movie
movie (regular * script * toys) = bad * movie
movie (awful * script * toys) = Megan Fox's thumbs;
game (awful * script * toys) = Megan Fox chasing bad guys in a 80's hairdo, submitting them to the power of her thumb.
@Tenshigure: Gah, add the ")" to the end of the link...stupid thing didn't copy completely over it seems...
@BrandonJF: Actually, there WAS a character, General Joseph Colton, that was codenamed "G.I. Joe". Never showed up in the animated series, but was a pretty big role in the comics ***SPOILER*** He takes over command when Hawk is paralyzed by Cobra Commander ***SPOILER**:
[en.wikipedia.org])
Looks bad, early days PS2 bad.
MayCauseOffense
@RadioactiveSoup: If your expectations are for this to be on par with Drake of the 99 Dragons then no, it shouldn't be a disappointment.
@FannyRatLove: Lol...could be the only white guy in the picture....maybe!!
@Save me: I want a G.I. Joe RPG where there are two story arcs - one for the Joes and one for Cobra. An MMO, if done correctly, could be fun too. Sadly Hasbro broke down and let their rights to G.I. Joe get vandalized. Now we get this crap where they all dress up as X-Men and spray paint Centurion suits black. The movie will suck, the game will suck... and we thought Cobra LALALALALALALALALALAL was bad...
@nukee: I am going to watch this travesty from the front row so that I can easily urinate all over the screen when it concludes. It's going to be a giant, steaming pile of crap, for certain. It's G.I. Joe though so sadly I will see it... sad indeed.
no need to wait for reviews. Game-tie-in-to-movie = FAIL!
@Yossarian: I am still waiting for the rapists to properly title this film "Centurions"... with odds of this happening being extrememly low I will continue to refer to it simply as "Steaming Pile of Crap with Snake Eyes In It". The movie is sure to be the worst of the summer, even worse than Land of the Lost and that is saying A LOT and the game most likely will be no better.
I know all things G.I. Joe related are going to truly suck this year. Now I know and knowing is half the battle.
@MrMuhnquai: You forgot to put "/rant" at the end of your comment
1st. OMG SNAKE-EYES!
2nd. OMG NOT-SNAKE-EYES!?
3rd. OMG NOT-SNAKE-EYES AGAIN!?
4th. OMG WHAT THE HELL NOT-SNAKE-EYES AGAIN!
5th. WTF MAN!? WHERE'S SNAKE-EYES!?! THIS IS BULLCRAP!
Your first picture took me for a ride, by the end of the 5th picture I realized it was like celebrating my 20th birthday with a cheap hooker all over again... "wonk, woooooonk"
@iEro-Sennin: Snake-Eyes has been around a lot longer than the "Ninja" incarnation of Grey Fox. We're talking early 80's here. If anything, Ninja looks a lot like Snake-Eyes. Do a Wiki search on Snake-Eyes, and be enlightened.
Soulflare77
@4nonymo: Wait, I never said G.I. Joe copied Crysis or MGS.
WHEN WILL SCHOOLS TEACH PROPER READING!?
Also, That woman reminds me of Kim Possible
And that first black dude's mustache reminds me of Mario's.
That background reminds me of War of the Worlds.
iEro-Sennin
@Kenny: 100% agreed! Hollywood needs to stop canning original screenplays in favour of raping our generation's childhood memories.
It's only a matter of time before we see Thundercats: The Movie, M.A.S.K. - Mobile Armoured Strike Kommand and another revival of He-Man in theatres. :(
LOL is that a Wayans brother?
Nitemare1
@iEro-Sennin: A part of me died when I read your comment. WHEN WILL SCHOOLS TEACH PROPER HISTORY ALREADY!?
@surft: I played this for twenty minutes at E3 and it was horrible. One of the worst games I had hands-on time with.
The graphics, running on a 360, literally looked worse than a PS2 game. The gameplay was trite and uninspired. The only thing going for it is literally the inclusion of the action figure profiles as collectibles. Totally not worth it. Not even a rental.
Also my childhood is dieing ever so slowly...first Ghettoformers,now this!!! G.I. JOE Rise of some Bullshit!! Please don't mess-up Zartan & the Dreadnoks.
Also dem Metro-Sexual Twins!!
Melhavic
@XperimntNterror: The *only* reason you can recognize those two is because they just happened to wear black leather in the cartoons and comics. If their outfits had not already fit into the modern mold of black and tight they would have been indistinguishable as well.
You have Playstation 2 graphics on my PS3!
Daniel Pizarro Sánchez
Marlin Wayans is Who?? Passenger 58...Always bet on Black!! In this case...UH No!!
Melhavic
If the co-op is decent and local, I'll consider it. I'm always finding that there aren't enough 3rd person co-op games I can play on one screen with my friends. I really miss arcades....:(
ShimodaNexus
@Ryguy226: I wish it didn't. Goddamn Orci/Kurtzman...
@HunterZ: I think Dennis Quaid deserves better.
GI Joe is named after the Robert Mitchum movie - "The Story of GI Joe"
G.I. Stands for Government Issue referring to equipment for the military that was "Government Issued." This word then became used for the soldiers as well, especially infantry.
For our European friends, GI Joe is like Monty Python, its just the name of the show, not an actual character on the show.
thatcreepyguy
@iEro-Sennin: Black dude number one reminds me of Scary Movie.
Second black dude reminds me of Serious Sam
The chick reminds me of that chick from the GI Joe poster that aims in another direction than the dudes
The jets behind them remind me of Star Trek
kadjin
How can this garner favorable impressions? Did you guys see the trailer they released? It looked like total ass unless that was made from pre-alpha footage.
Deebs
@Yossarian: My Little Pony? No. Rainbow freakin' Bright! Let's see them make that movie. Rainbow Bright can be a depressed emo orphan with super powers! We can have The Rock in the cast too! And then... Michael Bay can direct the action sequences!
Hmm.
Someone get me a Hollywood Agent. I smell a smash hit for next summer!
Haha, the guys get autmotic weapons, swords and a minigun.
The chick gets... a crossbow.
@MechaTama31: Haha - you aren't really narrowing it down but I think I know now... don't know why I ever wanted to though.
@Salen: I think it will be great when they get around to making a live action remake of My Little Pony, but they will ditch the colors and make all of them black, grey, and brown.
Maybe add an emo tear for good measure.
@FannyRatLove: He's the burly man with a gun.
MechaTama31
@surft: ... and knowing is half the battle.
@Rambonz: I've pushed better looking shit through my GI tract.
Wait... that's not quite right. :/
@RedStar - Workers of The World Unite: yup, thought so :D
RadioactiveSoup
@XperimntNterror: I thought Dennis Quaid was an awesome choice for General Hawk. Still won't be seeing it in the theater though.
HunterZ
@RedStar - Workers of The World Unite: It won't disappoint, because I'm sure everyone is going into it with the expectation that it will be nothing more than a steaming pile of fecal matter, and that's exactly what they'll get.
Now if someone has high expectations on the other hand, then I just don't know what to say.
lolgreg prays to Joe Pesci
@D-K, owhoo... how unfortunate..: It's... gone?
Ephemeral comment is ephemeral.
Sorry... But why have they missed out the PC? :(
Not that i want the game and not that i don't have a PS3 / PSP / DS, but seriously... The PC has the best graphics AND mouse and keyboard... What's better than mouse and keyboard for a shooter?
What do you mean, they've stopped releasing things on PC because of piracy rates? Hang on a nit picking minute... What about the PSP?
Go on, dare you to explain yourselves >.>
@ironraiden: lol...N64 graphics...looks like a jeep inserted in a level from "Star Wars: Racer".
casmith07
Unfortunately, both this game and the movie are going to be horrendous attempts to cash in on the original.
My brother knows the movie is going to blow more than a prostitute off a recent hysterectomy, but he's still going to see it. I feel bad for the $8.50 he's going to waste.
casmith07
@Sebnotic: Needed for a complete breakfast:
except the whole team is GI Joe
BatmanPrime
@Kenny: I read last month that this got the lowest test screening every in Paramounts history. This is looking like it'll be a big pile of shit indeed.
nukee
@Sebnotic: Needed for a complete breakfast: snake eyes is one of the only characters (the baroness is the second) to stay true to the original character design; no one else is even remotely recognizable just by appearance. plus, he's a fan favorite. storm shadow probably should have been kept closer to his original appearance too since he's just as iconic. ever since i saw that a wayans brother was going to be in this movie and that some kid was playing cobra commander, i lost interest.
Now I know...not to buy this game.
@Yossarian: Because they had to make a contrast somehow... too bad this movie will suck, the only parts, I imagine, that are going to be worth watching all involve Snake Eyes kicking ass. He's the only one that looks badass.
Pardon my language, but this game looks fucking awful. I was a big fan of the action figures when I was a little kid and this has completely ruined my memory of them.
Basically, this game is to GI Joe what the Transformers movies were to Transformers: Pathetic, unnecessary updates on something I cherished and came to hate.
See also: Pretty much every game "reimagining/remake", ever.
MrMuhnquai
Dear god, screenshot 3, my eyes bleed.
@Kenny: QFT
slamdance
@heimbachae: Eh, I still think I'll give it a chance.
@CarlMarssilas13: ...killed it..
D-K, owhoo... how unfortunate..
@RyderJ: Transformers comes to mind....
@SmilingPolitely: on a more serious note, these are indictation that this person is a new user, and has to earn his keep here. It's the filtering system, the site seems to be being worked on.
debug mode??
D-K, owhoo... how unfortunate..
Why can I see Snake Eye's mouth? Isn't he supposed to be wearing a mask?
@Flabyo: I wonder why. These toys were popularized enough, thanks to the shows they starred in. You would think Hasbro wouldve been in talks with other game studios to capitalize on their popularity.
Then again, their toys were flying off the shelves so I guess money wasnt really a problem for them at all.
@SmilingPolitely: I do, but i see lots of things..
damn novelty wonton-soup....
D-K, owhoo... how unfortunate..
@BigWyrm: I wouldn't hold out much hope on that.
[www.cinematical.com]
They canned the director and tried to completely re-edit the movie. That usually doesn't bode well.
The cover doesn't look EXTREME enough. But the color pallete is gunmetal grey and brown, so I guess that's sort of extreme, in a sad sort of way.
GI Joe: The Rise of Cliche Cover Boxart!
Now that's a threat to the world! Cobra only has a Weather Dominator.
Dear God who yanked this idea straight from the 7th circle of Hell?
ShoopDaBoofs
@Proves: Is anyone else seeing a strange dotted box around this comment?
@Sane Intolerant finds Ghostbusters very therapuetic: take a look at the screenshots, it's another crappy movie game.
heimbachae
@SmilingPolitely: PS. Fucking dam level.
@MrGilder: Sadly, the only way I could beat TMNT on the NES. >.<
@Rambonz: yeah, this all looks like one big GI Joke.
@Sebnotic: Needed for a complete breakfast: Snake-Eyes looks so prominent because he's pretty much the only character you can recognize.
I watched all the full length trailers before a couple movies this summer so far, and each time it just seemed to get worse and worse. I was a huge GI Joe fan as a kid, but every single Joe or Cobra they showed was indistinguishable from the next one.
I'm really surprised they didn't dress Storm Shadow in black leather as well.
@RadioactiveSoup:
It will.
RedStar - Workers of The World Unite
@lolgreg prays to Joe Pesci: Hope that's sarcasm!!
CarlMarssilas13
I played this at E3, and it's a steaming pile of Shite!!
I hope the movie is much, much better.
@Kenny: Agreed!!
CarlMarssilas13
@Save me: Don't think so no. There were a few Transformers and Action Force (the UK name for GI Joe) games on the 8-bit home computers here in the UK, but I don't think any of those made it to the States.
I really stoked that this is coming out soon. Not because I want to see the movie or play the game, but because all the Transformers haters will suddenly realize what a real piece shit, destruction of your childhood, killer of kittens, type game is.
@Sebnotic: Needed for a complete breakfast: Snake Eyes IS a GI Joe. GI Joe is not one person, it's the name of the group.
Snake Eyes has always been extremely popular as well. It makes sense that he'd be prominently featured as I can only assume the people cobbling together this movie/game know they have bastardized the franchise and characters and need all the help they can get drumming up support for it by dangling one of the series' "coolest" Joes in front of everyone.
Alvarez
@AngryEddy: Agreed. There's no chance of this movie NOT being good, it's bound to succeed
lolgreg prays to Joe Pesci
@BrandonJF:
There was a real GI JOE and thats how the toys / tv show got the name. I always thought of Duke as GI Joe but I was 7 so what did I know.
@Showmeyomoves!: I took a look at the screenshots. I'm still considering renting it.
I can't take it anymore! I grew up with G.I. Joe...and there is nothing about this current iteration that does it justice. Very disappointing.
Proves
@Doomstink: I remember that Beast wars game. The secret characters where just palette swaps of the original cast like that jaguar copy of cheetor.
Also, using Silverbolt's super was cheating.
@invictus2006: What, you mean flying one of the jets?
@judacris: lol. Galoob. That made my day. Where's mah Game Geniez?
@Sane Intolerant finds Ghostbusters very therapuetic: Take a closer look at the screenshots. I don't think you want to play this.
Showmeyomoves!
@judacris: All Galoob had was Micro Machines and Z Bots (which were badass, don't get me wrong). Hasbro makes GI Joe.
G I dunno about this...
Rambonz
The movie looks so great too, I don't know how the game could possibly be a failure.
@Save me: None in the eras you've mentioned, but there was two GI Joe games for the NES and they were both pretty decent, actually. No TF games ever made it to the US until the Best Wars games on PS1, though.
@Sebnotic: Needed for a complete breakfast: Might be because he's the more iconic or recognizable.
Like, years from now, you could look back on this cover and think, "Wow, I have no idea who the hell any of those guys are, but I definitely recognize Snake-Eyes there!"
@FannyRatLove: the Chinese guy in the background
@Sebnotic: Needed for a complete breakfast:
G.I. Joe is the codename for the team - it isn't an actual person. The guy next to Snake Eyes is not "G.I. Joe".
BrandonJF
New from Galoob!
This made me wonder, was a transformer or GI joe game during the SNES/Genesis/Game gear/Gameboy era?
All I can remember are the multiple MMPR and TMNT games.
Well, a game based on a movie based on a show based on a toy released on all platforms doesn't exactly scream quality, now does it?
RyderJ
The movie looks shitty, and the game looks shittier.
Funny how Snake-Eye(I think that's his name) is more of the focal than G.I Joe. Then again, who cares about a soldier when you have a fricking ninja on your team?
those suits remind me of Crysis.
And that ninja reminds me of Grey Fox.
iEro-Sennin
hope this doesnt dissapoint
RadioactiveSoup
Which one is Joe?
While I'm hesitant, those are some impressive numbers right there. Might be worth a rent.
jonesey666