Tell Us Dammit

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12:30PM September 4, 2009 | David Wildgoose

Dammit, we want you to tell us stuff! Stuff like your pick for the worst named game ever.

This isn’t some marketing survey or whatever. It’s an emotional investment in you. Yes, we’re interesting in knowing you, Kotaku reader person. You probably know fucktons about us — more than you even want to, we’re sure. But, hey, we’d like to know about you, too.

Anyway, here’s today’s question…

Bonk was an old side-scrolling platformer starring a bald kid. Hudson Soft has just announced a new Bonk game for XBLA, PSN and WiiWare. It’s called Bonk: Brink of Extinction. It’s quite possibly the worst named game ever. Can you think of worse?

Me? Did I mention that Bonk: Brink of Extinction is quite possibly the worst named game ever? Oh, I did.

Comments

  • Ryno

    September 4, 2009 at 12:52 PM

    wow i remember bonk, but not well enough for them to play the fond memories card on sales.

    terrible game names tho, defiantly quackshot: starring donald duck what the hell is a quackshot?

    • Trilby Helmut

      September 4, 2009 at 3:57 PM

      A “crack shot” is skilled marksman.

      Donald is a duck. Ducks are known (in western countries at least) for making a call that is written as “quack”.

      A central gameplay concept of the game involves shooting things.

      If you can’t figure out the rest, then I probably just wasted 2 minutes.

  • Paul P

    September 4, 2009 at 12:56 PM

    Good Luck Goemon – The Dance of the New Peach Mountain Government.

  • sofari

    September 4, 2009 at 12:59 PM

    I’m going with ‘Alex Kidd: High Tech World’ for the Master System. Combine that name with the typical Master System artwork, and you’ve got all the ingredients for a good ol’ facepalming.

  • Greg

    September 4, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    “grabbed by the ghoulies” springs to mind

  • Doug

    September 4, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    no comparison to Nintendo: Touch Dic

    • Ayrton Coll

      September 4, 2009 at 7:12 PM

      “Dic” is the imperative of the 3rd conjugation Latin verb “dico” meaning “I speak” interestingly it has an irregular imperative form becuase other 3rd conjugation verbs will have imperatives ending in “e” such as “posce”. Although I’m sure it’s just a coincidence in this title. Good thing they didn’t use “facio” though.

      • Doug

        September 4, 2009 at 11:22 PM

        Your over analysing it it, Dic refers to dictionary.

  • Sing Nguyen

    September 4, 2009 at 1:33 PM

    I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say all of the SNES games which had the word “Super” in them, especially ones that were sequels of original NES games. Come to think of it, anything that tacked on “64″ to the end of the name for the Nintendo 64 was also just as stupid.

    Ding!

  • Al

    September 4, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    an honourable mention to disaster: day of crisis and run like hell, easy meat for cynical journos.

  • Ben Abraham

    September 4, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    My pick for worse name: “Bonk: Bring of Brextinction.”

  • MrWhat

    September 4, 2009 at 1:44 PM

    anything with ‘z’ at the end instead of an s

    only one I remember playing was 3D Ballz – that game scared me for life

  • Geoff

    September 4, 2009 at 2:03 PM

    Hate to dump on the origins of gaming… but “pong”??

  • Brendan

    September 4, 2009 at 2:04 PM

    how about…
    the ds title…
    project rub…
    just leaves a little bit up to your imaginations.

  • Aaron Clement

    September 4, 2009 at 2:55 PM

    Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.

    You’d need to play it to understand…

  • Luke

    September 4, 2009 at 2:56 PM

    Pickle Wars…. come on a game where the main enemy are pickles just speaks for itself

  • Ronald

    September 4, 2009 at 3:27 PM

    ” Warhammer : Shadow of the Horned Rat “

  • Luckydog

    September 4, 2009 at 6:37 PM

    Um, Wet. mainly because it has nothing to do with water really.
    Lips. WTF?
    Impossible mission. A low budget game ripping of mission impossible.
    Ninja reflex. It just sounds stupid.
    Zombie virus. Those are just bad.

  • Mitch

    September 4, 2009 at 9:42 PM

    Super street fight II HD turbo remix

    Just how much crap can you add on to ‘street fighter’?

  • Scruffy

    September 4, 2009 at 10:33 PM

    Sticky balls for the Gizmondo.

  • truncheon

    September 4, 2009 at 11:43 PM

    Holy Invasion Of Privacy Badman: What Did I Do To Deserve This? or HIOPBWDIDTDT as ive seen it shortened to has to be the worst for me,

    bonk: brink of extinction actually has a nice ring to it i think

  • Braaains

    September 5, 2009 at 11:54 AM

    Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

    Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely love the game itself, as I do all of the MGS games.

    But “Snake Eater”? There are just way too many unpleasant connotations there.

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