Every day this week we’re giving away some badass Borderlands swag plus a copy of the game on Xbox 360. If you’d like to win, read on.
UPDATE: Monday’s draw closed at midnight. Entries received after midnight are ineligible. Tuesday’s draw is now open.
Thanks to our good friends at 2K Games each day this week we’ll be giving away the following:
* A copy of Borderlands for Xbox 360
* A Borderlands t-shirt
* A Borderlands mug
* A Borderlands kitbag
* A Borderlands notebook
* A Boderlands cap
* And a Borderlands retro tape player USB
Borderlands is the imminent – it’s out on Thursday! – role-playing shooter from Gearbox Software. It might not be the Citizen Kane of games, but it is – in the words of Gearbox president Randy Pitchford – totally badass. We’ve played it, several times in fact, and we dig it.
One of the more intriguing aspects of the game is its procedurally generated weapon system, which randomise a host of factors to ensure that you’ll rarely find two weapons that are the same. Gearbox claim there are more weapons in Borderlands than in every other shooter this console generation combined.
But perhaps you can come up with a weapon they haven’t got.
To be in the running to win, we want you to describe the Borderlands weapon you’d use to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Leave your weapon name and description in the comments below. Humour and creativity will be rewarded, as per usual Kotaku competition lines.
To be eligible for today’s draw, you must leave your comment by midnight tonight. You’re allowed one entry per day. If you want to enter in tomorrow’s draw, you must comment on that post with a brand new weapon idea.
Good luck!
WaveOfMutilation
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 11:39 AMThe Mobius Gun
Created on a distant planet in another galaxy, the act of which caused that planets destruction and sent the gun hurtling through space until it landed on the surface of [insert Borderlands planet here].
The Mobius gun uses physics that were barely understood by its now dead creators and was chambered with only a single bullet. The bullet acts like normal when fired from the gun up untill it impacts with an object. That object appears to rapidly shrink and fold in on its self whilst flying towards the horizon.
The object has instead been launched outside of time and space where it continues to gain velocity. When the Mobius gun is fired again the object unfolds out of the barrel of the gun, its velocity determined by the amount of time it has spent outside of space and time, if it’s been only a few seconds it might only clear a couple of metres if it has been over a week, near light speed could be acheived.
Before the object is propelled from the gun the bullet that caused its demise is returned to the guns chamber ready to use again.
Note: sorry for the shoddy physics.
Nick Durbridge
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 11:39 AMThe Atomic Hammer
This is the ultimate “If I Go, We ALL Go” weapon. Once drawn, the hammer is primed. You hit something, it detonates (it’s an atomic weapon!) You drop it, it detonates.
The key to beating someone with an Atomic Hammer is you surrender – someone wielding one is obviously too crazy to bargain with.
Dean Henderson
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 11:42 AMThree Dog-otron
A weapon that implants repeated news casts which are often well outdated into the minds of its victims. Inevitably this drives the target insane resulting in a messy suicide.
Kane Martin
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 11:43 AMThe Rick-o-Natrix
This gun has a loudspeaker built in that plays “Never gonna give you up”. Enemies will be like “OH LOLOL, you got m-” by which time you will have shot them in the face.
Comes with free earplugs for sanity’s sake.
philomglol
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 11:48 AMThe “Patriot”
Added very late in the development process at great expense, this gun shoots unicorns and non-copyright-infringing bear shaped creatures with love hearts on their bellies.
Upon impact, instead of blood or the much dreaded decapitation, enemies will spew rainbows from their unicorn-holes. Their bodies will disappear into a shower of sparkles and either a photo of kittens, babies or puppies will be left behind on the ground instead of a corpse.
The game will also now be rated E for everyone and each disc will be signed by Michael Atkinson.
Chris Bruning
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 11:49 AMThe N-Gun is a mobile telephone and handheld gun combination, created by Gokia; including both the functionality of a 9mm handgun and mobile phone technology from the early 2000’s in one. Firing the gun requires the user to first turn the safety off by pressing the select button and # at the same time, and while using the phone component the user is required to hold the gun on its side, with the barrel pointing towards the users feet, using the call button positioned near the trigger to initiate/end a call. Ammunition of many varieties can be found at any local Gokia store, but unfortunately the ammunition is poorly created and inaccurate for overly expensive prices, requiring the gun to be fully disassembled to replace ammunition types or to reload. The mobile phone functionality clearly makes it superior to its closest competitor, the Gunboy advance.
Michael Pincott
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 11:59 AMThe Gun Gun
When you’re roaming a post-apocalyptic wasteland, you need a weapon that’s practical. We know it can be tough to find one that will cater for your every need.
That’s why we invented the Gun Gun, the new ultimate device that will cater to every situation with intelligence, finesse, and a cool ‘ding’ sound. Pulling the trigger of the Gun Gun will shoot out a new gun, but not just any gun. The Gun Gun (called the Gun² by the nerds at the lab) will analyse your current situation with special (almost magical) sonar waves and dispense the best gun for the job direct to your spare hand.
The awesomeness doesn’t stop there. Forgotten flowers for that special someone? The Gun Gun will not only produce those flowers, but it will give you her favourite. So if you want to survive the monstrous hordes of the wasteland, or just get lucky tonight, make sure to pack a Gun Gun in your pants pants today.
(now available for the Gun Gun: the Holster Holster)
Bruce Abdul-Raouf
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:01 PMThe Doggy doo
Its basically a brown paper bag of dog poop that’s lit on fire and thrown at offending parties. Works like a Molotov but has the added effects (where it is not lethal) stink lines emerge from the character highlighting map position.
Marcus Carter
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:09 PMA combination of the Half Life 2 Gravity Gun and a sharp, pointy stick. Attract your opponents towards a pointy demise.
Duece Piece
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:15 PMThe Cotton Candy Gun.
Remenecent of the wonderful days of cheesy 80′s horror movie lore, the cotton candy gun bounds its enemies in a big ball of girly-pink cotton candy.Dementia will strike your opponent upon exit of the candy, where they will suddenly have the urge to wear spinning ties and throw pies in the oppositions face, causing temporary blindness. Also upon exit of the pink goo, players character appearence will change permanently to that of a freakishly deformed clown unless you find a mirror and recite Hershel Krustofskys name 3 times. You have the email, now send me my Borderlands, I have many wastelands needing a muck ran on and there’s only one guy to do it, the bad ass right here with the cotton candy gun! Mmm tasty and deadly!
Luke Beard
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:16 PMGary Coleman launcher,
fire a Gary Coleman at an enemy, and seeks them out to find out what exactly they are talking about and assumes the enemies name is always willis.
Wouldn’t do much damage though.
David Guimaraes
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:20 PMA simple but effective tool, Not sure how much scenery blows up. But what is ever wrong with a great nice 4×2 wood with nails sticking out of it. Nothing said own like a timber stuck to your forehead :).
Simeon
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:21 PMThe Kitty Cannon.
Blasts buck-shot like blasts of adorable kittens at your enemies.
GiantDave7
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:30 PMI’d make the 1984 MJ Thriller Launcher
Let this baby off and it drops a retro 1980′s Ghetto Blaster blaring out Thriller that no minion of the Apocalypse can resist!
As they spend the next 6 minutes breaking out in some of the most obscene dance moves in history, I can either have my way with a handy chainsaw while they are all nicely lined up, or just get the hell out of dodge! (my personal pref would be to get the hell out as I wouldn’t want to run the risk of becoming a shambling zombie from simply listening to that blasted song :P)
And on top of it all, as the music prgresses, the bosses actually migrate to the front in order to maximize screen time! hahaha
Thomas
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:31 PMThe Squirrel
Legend tells of the Squirrel,possibly the worlds most annoying “Weapon”, because giving it the name weapon is an insult to other weapons. Getting back to the legend…
Legend tells us that the Squirrel was used to annoy mothers, to poke bears and where possible, entertain cats. It has no practical application, just, annoy. Legends also tell us that it was made by two guys called Bubba,these legends passed down by tomes of beer slabs inform us that should the sun and the moon ever get into a fist fight, then the squirrel will arrive, that or someone called Sheila will beak up the fight with a broom, which ever really. No one is really able to translate the beer slab tomes as the method of reading leads to the method of imbibing, then to the method of doing something really stupid followed closely by the method of I love you man, seconded only be the method of taking the piss out of you.
Used by Shamans, hobos, priests, monkeys, Court Jesters with nothing better to do then to use the Squirrel to annoy whom every they are meant to be entertaining, the Squirrel has no great purpose to it. It mere annoys the both user and foe alike until a death match cage battle is announce with the Squirrel as foe, victim and winner all at the same time. (Remember the beer tomes? Yeah…think about it)
The Squirrel it self is just a dead rodent on a stick, it can be any rodent or life form sentient or other wise, although the Beer Tome Writers do inform the user not to make their own versions of the Squirrel from the super mutant rats and the like as there isn’t a stick big enough. Instead, they opt that you get a really big stick, like a cricket bat or something, who cares, then tape a badger or something to it and run around screaming, either chased by your weapon or not, screaming is a must as it gives you a good reason to follow the imbibing steps again.
The Squirrel can be found at any good pet store or lost in the mists of time. But should you ever find the beer tomes, remember, the path of doing something stupid may involve: whooping, drowning, burning, tingling, hair were there was no hair, flying monkeys, unknown quantities of cash, saying Hey Check this out, or generally acting like a complete fool. Should any of this, including death happen to you, seek medical/mortician help straight away, should any of this happen to you whilst in the middle of a zombie uprising, then the Beer Tome Writers think that was a pretty stupid idea now wasn’t it and take no liability in your own actions. Remember to drink wisely, if you can’t feel your toes then you may have had too much to drink and are in the middle of a lake.
Dan
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:33 PMBowel Disruptor Gun
- Makes enemies poop themselves
Simple, yet effective ^_^
rturtle
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:33 PMThe fully-automatic-squashed-apricot-and-partially eaten-stick-of-chalk-gun.
Rate of fire: 5 rounds per second.
Primary ammunition: squashed apricots
Secondary ammunition: partially eaten sticks of chalk
Tactics: Best to organize ammunition in an apricot-chalk-apricot-chalk etc order. This way, your enemy gets an apricot in the eye, and before they can react they get biffed on the head with some chalk. After a while, they will get stunned, at which point you can stab them with the attached spatula-bayonet.
James
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:35 PMThe Civiliser.
A gun capable of reclaiming civilisation with every shot. Instead of killing your enemies, it instills them with a sense of peace, a thirst for knowledge and a desire to rebuild society. And once the post-apocolyptic wasteland has been restored to its former glory, it has a bayonet attached so you can slaughter those peace-loving suckers in their sleep and gain mad experience points.
Simon
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:38 PMThe Walrus Cannon.
Fires an enraged walrus, demanding to know where it’s bukkit is.
Simon
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:39 PMArrgghhh, inappropriate use of an apostrophe!
Jarrard
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:42 PMinvisibility cloak.
they cant hurt you if they cant see you.
breakin necks and sh*t.
Steven Bogos
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:42 PMThe Un-Coattailer:
Shoots a beam at players, it makes them realize that although this game is very similar in theme and gameplay to a certain other hugely popular post-apocalyptic RPG that rhymes with ‘ball snout’, it is still actually a pretty good game
Dave
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:42 PMA gun that’s shoots underwear at the victim the victim is now stripped of all weapons and is only wearing a briar and knickers but they now run a little faster until they pick up a weapon
Bronix
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:45 PMThe Soviet.
A gun that can only do damage to your enemies by getting hit with it yourself. It’d be perfect, cause you’d just surrender when you come across an enemy, and they take your weapon, shoot you with it and then, bang! They’re dead.
“In post apocalyptic Russia, GUN SHOOTS YOU!”
Simon Hutchinson
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:46 PMThe ‘chk chk boom’ gun – Makes you an instant celebrity, gives you a contract with channel 9 and getaway, signs you a PR deal and gets you a record contract, even though it doesn’t really exist!
James Ragan
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 12:49 PMHiggs Boson Cannon.
The HBC fires hypothesized particles that are so abhorrent to nature that they ripple back in time to annihilate their own existence.
To the untrained observer it looks like the HBR fires nothing, but particle physicists will tell you that this doomsday device in fact heralds the end of the all existence as we know it.
To your enemies, however, you just look stupid.
James Ragan
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 2:32 PM…Same again, minus the stupid spelling mistakes :(
Higgs Boson Cannon.
The HBC fires hypothesized particles that are so abhorrent to nature that they ripple back in time to annihilate their own existence.
To the untrained observer it looks like the HBC fires nothing, but particle physicists will tell you that this doomsday device in fact heralds the end of all existence as we know it.
To your enemies, however, you just look stupid.