The Week In Games

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9:00AM December 21, 2009 | David Wildgoose

atkinson vs predatorThere are no games coming out this week. None at all. So I thought I’d make up some games I wish were actually coming out this week. Maybe you can suggest some too!

Hopefully your suggestions are funnier than mine as well.

Atkinson’s Creed II (360, PS3)
What Is It? Take on the role of the nation’s deadliest censorship minister as you eliminate game after game until all Australians are safe from depraved sex and extreme violence.
Should You Care? It’s Croydon’s biggest selling game ever.

Atkinson Vs Predator (360, PS3)
What Is It? Nothing but an excuse for a dodgy but amusing photoshop opportunity.
Should You Care? It’s OK, it got through with an MA15+ rating.

Command & Conquer: Rudd Alert (PC)
What Is It? Political simulation that acts as a training program for the Liberal Party leadership.
Should You Care? Tony Abbott needs help on the tutorial mission.

Sid Meier’s James Cameron’s Avatar: The Video Game: A Brian Reynolds Game (PC)
What Is It? Strategy game in which you invade, mine, pillage and rape an alien planet full of blue-skinned tree-huggers.
Should You Care? American McGee wants his name on the box, too.

Tatsunoko Vs Capcom Vs SNK Vs Mortal Kombat Vs DC Universe Vs Final Fantasy Vs XIII (PSP)
What Is It? Brawler featuring characters from every fighting franchise under the sun.
Should You Care? Unless you’re a fan of Namco fighters. Sorry guys.

Tiger Woods Pro Tour (Wii)
What Is It? Candid exploration of a noted sporting celebrity’s off-links lifestyle.
Should You Care? Comes bundled with all manner of unusual Wiimote accessories.

Comments

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  • Louie Song

    December 21, 2009 at 9:08 AM

    Left 4 Atkinson
    Call of Atkinson: Modern Censorship 2

    • Darius

      December 22, 2009 at 9:03 AM

      Reading my morning news when I read this article on news.com.au:

      http://www.news.com.au/technology/aliens-vs-predator-game-ban-overturned-for-ma15-australian-release/story-e6frfro0-1225812391001

      most of it is the same excerpt you posted about from the OFLC board as to why they changed their mind, however very interesting is the vote they have running – 94.7%(22767 votes) say yes to an R18+ rating, 4.72%(1135 votes) say no and 0.58% (139 votes) are not sure.

      Now I am not sure if there was a rush organised on the news.com.au voting page by the gaming community, however I think more likely is that it is a good picture of what mature, news reading adults in Australia really want.

      Hopefully heaping this violent game, which the developers themselves say is for adults, into the 15+ category will be the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak.

  • Chris Crowe

    December 21, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    Duke Nukem Forever?? That’s dude out this week isn’t it? Wait… where am I? … what year is this?

  • Matt

    December 21, 2009 at 10:13 AM

    “Command & Conquer: Rudd Alert ”

    lol

  • Matt

    December 21, 2009 at 10:15 AM

    LEISURE SUIT TIGER…. That’s the only one that comes to mind.

  • ThePhantom

    December 21, 2009 at 10:26 AM

    This entire thread is in bad taste.

    Really, what do you hope to accomplish shopping his head on to that pic? If nothing else, it’s just going to hurt our cause and make us look more like the psycopaths he thinks games create.

  • Simon Hutchinson

    December 21, 2009 at 10:32 AM

    I’ve got to be honest Dave, i’m disappointed. Stuff like this does not help the R18 argument at all and paints gamers in a very immature light. Oh this person doesn’t agree with us so lets just put him in a game with his head ripped off.

    If we want to be taken seriously then the gaming media has to act seriously as well and not drop to the levels of the 15 year olds protesting the R18 censorship right now.

    Until now you had presented a very unbiased view and offered both view points on the debate and Kotaku.com.au has been very informative of the whole issue but this is just wrong.

    This is the equivalent of someone saying fuck you and give us the fucking R18 classification in the Attorney General document.

    Someone will say its only a joke, but it is almost certain that M Atkinson reads this site (as it mentions him a lot) and for him to see this it just adds fuel to the fire that we are not mature enough to deal with the stuff that R18 games have, which is of course entirely wrong.

    • David Wildgoose

      December 21, 2009 at 10:33 AM

      Sigh.

    • Clocks

      December 21, 2009 at 11:06 AM

      I think the image is pretty in line with the nature of the post. It’s a joke post about joke games. It would be different if David used the above image on a serious article about the issue of game classification – THAT would be immature and heading in the wrong direction – but given that it’s an openly silly post, I don’t think it does any harm.

      As for Atkinson interpreting it differently…well, a gamer only has to sneeze for Atkinson to accuse him or her of depravity. I think we’re beyond the point of trying to show him we’re normal people because no matter what we do, he’ll believe what he wants to believe. Let’s just focus our energy on that newly released discussion paper and continue to have fun as gamers.

    • Darius

      December 21, 2009 at 11:11 AM

      Making a joke about this overblown argument about something that every sensible person agrees we need and should have is not going to draw it into a negative light.
      It shouldn’t be about that. If we cant keep a sense of humour then stick your R rating up your clacker and we will just keep finding a way around it.
      Cause if I can’t have it funny I don’t want it!

    • Ron Jeremy

      December 21, 2009 at 11:13 AM

      I too, are very disappointed. The lighting on the head is terrible and where is the blood splatter?

    • Will

      December 21, 2009 at 12:23 PM

      I think your right Simon, if we can’t take ourselves seriously, then neither will anyone else. It is a joke but could have a used a less procative image, maybe one from MW2 where instead of gunning down civillians in an airport, Atkinson can be gunning down the rights of Australians… bloody, funny and true.

    • Mecha

      December 21, 2009 at 12:26 PM

      I disagree also to this post.

      Instead I believe David deserves multiple blow jobs from attractive women

    • Michael

      December 21, 2009 at 2:13 PM

      Jesus man… get over yourself.

    • Jay

      December 21, 2009 at 5:32 PM

      Ima left you finish…
      But Beyonce had one of the best videos of ALL TIME!

  • Dave

    December 21, 2009 at 10:39 AM

    @ThePhantom, Simon Hutchinson – you’re both wankers.

  • Rook

    December 21, 2009 at 10:41 AM

    Command and Conroy: IPrising

  • Cameron Chu

    December 21, 2009 at 10:49 AM

    Atkinson’s Creed: II and Command & Conquer Rudd: Alert- lol. Bit harsh on Abbott aren’t we?

    To ThePhantom and Simon- It’s a joke, and it’s Christmas. Also. it would be Atkinson who will look like a fool if he used this article as ammunition for his tirade against an R18+ classification rating.

  • Rod

    December 21, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    There’s a “Banned Hero” joke to be made somewhere here, I know it…

  • forevergamie

    December 21, 2009 at 11:01 AM

    Don’t worry David, I got a good laugh out of it.

    Thanks for making my workday a little more bearable :)

  • Kav

    December 21, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    Oh ffs Simon and Phantom, stfu.

  • Cerberus

    December 21, 2009 at 11:13 AM

    First of all, lol at people taking this seriously and 2nd thanks for reporting there are no games out, its about time to get my christmas games, year of the ps3 indeed.

  • Tom

    December 21, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    I for one found this amusing. Can’t get enough puns. Thanks David :)

  • Dean

    December 21, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    C&C: Rudd Alert is clever. I wonder if you could get that “other” Atkinson to play the role of Lt. Eva McKenna…

  • Kwenton Lastnaime

    December 21, 2009 at 11:41 AM

    Call of Atkinson: Modern Censorship 2 rofl

    If he has it his way it will be Mall of Duty: Modern Wardrobe

  • Fracture

    December 21, 2009 at 12:23 PM

    I agree with simon! dont give him ANY fuel at all to fight against us!! … !!!

  • Ollie

    December 21, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    Spot on =) some ppl really need to pull the bug outta their @ss and lighten up a bit. You seriously think that some clueless person who doesn’t even know that an R18 rating DOESN’T exist already is gonna care that someone’s thrown together a few puns and a photochop job on old Atty?

  • ROM

    December 21, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    Gothic Atkinson.
    The whole concept of the game would be simple in that you have to find all his body parts in this huge game (20 of them as created in the game Hospital Tychoon), but to win you have to find his Common Sense that is stored in a jar. To find this jar you have to find his Brain and place it on the Shrine of Fair Go. This will take you to the world of Alternate Reality which is where i am sure he lives most of the time.

  • Adam Grabda

    December 21, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    I like that hes still sporting the traditional ‘Atkinson-grin’ even after the fact his head has been removed from his body.

    That being said, hes been pretty quiet since the discussion paper has been released and some AG’s stepped forward to support R18+. Also now that AvP RC decision has been revoked I thought he would be rather vocal, considering he was quite happy with himself when it was initially refused.

    Maybe hes had an epiphany and realised hes fighting a losing battle.

    • Gordon Mackenzie

      December 22, 2009 at 1:04 AM

      Possibly he is just enjoying Christmas with his family, possibly reading passages from the bible for this religious time of year. A book which probably should be rating restricted as it promotes genocide via mass drowning, has a person tortured by impaling his hands with iron spikes thereby fixing them to a plank of wood, then being left in the sun to suffer from exposure for a few days before finally being stabbed through the chest.

      How can we expose our children to such depraved content?

      See Atkinson. I can make retohric by taking things out of contest too!

  • url404

    December 21, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    The Clean Feed (PC)
    What is it You take the role of lone character S. Conroy to fight against personal freedoms and liberties. Can you push for a mandatory Internet filter for all ISPs whilst everyone is against you? Do you have the stomach to ignore unsuccessful trials and expert opinions that state is is an unworkable solution that would be disingenuous to its own stated aims of protecting children?
    Should you care? Yes. A thousand times yes!

  • Dunnowhathuh

    December 21, 2009 at 12:58 PM

    To the people taking this a bit seriously – c’mon, some light hearted fun. Thought us Aussies were supposed to be all for taking the piss out of everything and everyone (especially politicians). Lemmie guess, you guys are the type that were offended by that black faces skit on the Hey Hey reunion? We can’t let atkinson drag us down to the point where we lose our sense of humour.

    You guys might be saying, well this is different – no it’s not, David did this for laugh, not as a direct attack on atkinson. I hardly see how this would even remotely affect the R18+ debate. What, so photoshopping his head like that is going to convince the government that we don’t need an R18 rating? Jee wizz, people these days.

  • Chuloopa

    December 21, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    Uncharted 3
    a game about all those great games that don’t make the top 10 charts due to an abundance of wii shovelware..

    Grand theft atkinson
    Hold up a discussion paper then drive around town in a oldsmobile yelling at people to stop having “depraved violent sex” – this includes puppies and kittens

    Shadow of the Turnbull
    Play as Tiny Tony Abbot in a land too large for him where he must scale the political collossus to take down the decaying Turnbull

    6pm news – nintendo wii
    a game for the older generation. Using the Wii-speak mic, yell obscenities at the TV whilst reports that you don’t quite understand (but are strongly opposed to) scroll along the screen.

  • NegativeZero

    December 21, 2009 at 1:50 PM

    Tiger Woods Pro Tour (Wii)

    I wonder what the par is for those holes?

  • Paul

    December 21, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    Railworks Class 20 Diesel Locomotive.
    Oh hang on that does exist. For US$16.00 http://store.steampowered.com/app/24043/

    Hahahahahahaha
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