Steam Saves Us From Sharks With Massive Sale

Steam kicks off its massive “Perils of Summer” sale today, with daily sales, ridiculous discounts on game bundles,and slashed prices in every genre, all aimed at making sure you don’t go to the beach and get eaten by sharks.

There have been more than 2251 unprovoked shark attacks reported worldwide, none of which have happened while the victim was playing games on Steam. That’s why Steam is holding the “Perils of Summer” sale now through July 4. To save your life, and the lives of your friends and family.

In the interest of your safety, there will be daily deals through American Independence Day. Deals like Dirt 2 for $US10, or Bioshock 2 for $US15. The kind of deals you’ll want to wake up early every morning to keep track of. The kind of deals that keep you safely in your house, unless you’re a laptop gamer. In that case, they cannot help you.

And yes, there are bundles on sale as well. You can get every Star Wars game on Steam (minus LEGO Star Wars) for $US75 right now, or every 2K game (minus Civilization 4) for $US90. That’s pretty insane.

Then again, so is going to the beach and dangling your delicious feet where the sharks can see them. Your choice.

Head over to Steam to bask in the savings. Otherwise, it was nice knowing you.