Last week, THQ gave us 15 pairs of tickets to attend the launch of Dead Rising 2, and all you had to do was provide the most important rule to follow during a zombie apocalypse. Did you win?
Some of you would clearly survive such an event, whereas some were more concerned with recreational activities with female zombies, and some of you just plain chose to give up. Below is a list of the winners, and for those of you who skipped the zombie apocalypse class at school, consider this your comprehensive guide.
[imgclear] Jacob had this bit of wisdom…
September 10, 2010 at 5:57 PM
Always have a strong melee weapon, not a baseball bat, not a shovel. A crowbar would be good. Its light enough to continue swinging, and strong enough to last.
Minic might not want to attend the launch, as it’s in the heart of Sydney…
September 10, 2010 at 6:01 PM
Get out of the city. Rural towns mean less zombies and more easily-obtained food and resources. If the countryside nearby is rugged, all the better; as we all know, zombies can’t climb.
Xerxes has given meticulous thought, worthy of a Persian general, to the makeup of your squad…
If you are Johnny “Everyman”, surround yourself with a smart talking partner, and a sexy lady. If movies have taught me anything, these are the people that get eaten by zombies first, giving you vital seconds to escape. Note: If you are the smart talking partner or the lady, make sure to be gritty and tough, but also look surprisingly good while wet and dirty. This should ensure your survival… as long as you stay away from Johnny “Everyman”…. Or else you better start practicing your slurred “brainsssss” zombie acceptance speech.
Mic – you’re as cold as ice.
September 10, 2010 at 7:41 PM
If someone gets bitten DO NOT LET THEM COME WITH YOU. You’ll just get into a situation where they’ll turn into one when you’re not looking, you’ll turn around and they’ll jump you.
Reece Offer providing some good advice, for all times really.
September 10, 2010 at 8:10 PM
Don’t stuff meat down your trousers.
Good Point Richard…
September 10, 2010 at 9:36 PM
A baseball bat never needs to reload
We figured by the time the zombies are done reading FatShady’s essay, he’d have disappeared…
September 10, 2010 at 10:02 PM
My rule for surviving a zombie apocalypse is as follows:
Rule #58 – Never be the smartest guy in the room.
Let me explain. Zombies are dumb. Zombies like brains. Using dumb zombie logic, smart people have more brains than dumb people, therefore smart people would seem to be a more appealing meal. Think about it, would you rather eat a thick juicy steak or a half serving of tofu?
The beauty of this rule however is that actual intelligence does not matter, the perception of intelligence is sufficient.
As soon as you get some spare time, gather as many white lab coats,
pants with suspenders even some short sleeve business shirts with clip on ties. When you meet other survivors, offer them some of your clothing swag as a welcoming gesture to keep them warm and comfortable. Tell them that you have found a couple of pens that would be worth keeping for later, and that they just hold on to them by placing them in their shirt’s top pocket.
As soon as you are being chased by the zombie mob though, it’s time to shine. Take off your jacket to reveal a ‘Kevin 07′ T-Shirt, then suggest to the mob that your ‘friend’ can recite pi to over 50 decimal places. After this, you should simply be able to calmly walk away. If all of your Kevin 07 shirts are too bloody to keep wearing, then a ‘Conroy 13′ shirt will actually work pretty well.
… and it should go without saying now, if you havent surrounded your house with sunflowers, pea-shooters and frozen watermelons, you might as well just sit back and wait for Zombie Disco Stu (Formally M.J.) and his mates to finish you off.
WAXT brought his high school dramas into it…
September 11, 2010 at 12:39 AM
Don’t risk your neck for ANYBODY. If she wasn’t going to date you earlier, she certainly isn’t going to now that everyone she knows is dead or, well, undead.
Poring inadvertently suggests an awesome idea: zombie Rambo.
September 11, 2010 at 7:38 AM
The most important rule is to “STICK TOGETHER TEAM!”; with at least 2 armed persons to a group to watch each others back.
Rambo’s tend to be the first one outted.
Gene Venables, in the heat of the moment, would resort to philosophy…
September 11, 2010 at 12:21 PM
Rule #1: Find out which canon you’re in. If you in the Romero canon you should be ok. If you’re in the 28 days later canon you’re in alot more trouble…
Samuel Webster
September 12, 2010 at 5:02 PM
Always Travel around with lots of unfit people.
Twistedaussie wants you to see his boomstick.
September 13, 2010 at 9:06 AM
When you have to chop off your possessed zombie-hand, chainsaws make an excellent replacement.
Groovy.
Parad0xian played a bit of Plants vs Zombies before the competition…
September 13, 2010 at 12:08 PM
Row 1: Sunflowers
Row 2: Snow Peas
Row 3: Repeater
Row 4: Walnuts
Remember, Cherry Bombs save lives.
Bad move, Nate. Bad, bad move…
September 14, 2010 at 8:26 PM
Zombies are people too, guys. If we just stopped and listened to what they have to say, I’m sure we’d ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT’S EATING MY FAAAAAAAACCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
That’s not very Indiana Jones, Grimjinx…
September 14, 2010 at 9:13 PM
There is nothing worth going back for.Simple.
These 15 winners can join us Wednesday night for a screening of Resident Evil: Afterlife, and those who choose to whip out the fake blood, make a few fake wounds (or even some real ones), and generally dress up zombie-style will win prizes. Not little’un prizes like pens, either. Big’uns.
Congratulations if you won! I’ll send an email to the winners for your addresses, and notify THQ of who’s likely to survive if the undead attack.
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