Computer-Enhanced Babies Are Not A Good Marketing Tool

Can Ubisoft’s upcoming game Rocksmith teach a baby how to play guitar? Of course not, but through the magic of computer-aided video manipulation, it can use a real baby to creep us the f–k out.

There’s a limit to how much video magic can be applied to a baby before it stops being a joyous little creature filled with potential and slowly transforms into the sort of impish monster from which nightmares spring. The E-Trade baby commercials, for instance, skirt the very edge of the line, saved by the fact that the baby, while uncharacteristically talkative, is still doing baby things.

Playing guitar riffs and throwing up horns is not a very baby thing to do. I’m pretty sure babies only poop, pee, eat, and cry, but then I’ve only had mine for a few weeks, not nearly long enough to break them in. Hell, I’ve barely taken the protective plastic off.

Rocksmith comes out in October for the Xbox 360, PC and PlayStation 3. I’ll be in hiding, just in case.