Jilted Boyfriend Hocks Engagement Ring For Halo Armor

When his fiancée suddenly dumped him, Eric Smith of Geekadelphia decided that simply selling off the engagement ring he bought her wasn’t good enough. The cash from that transaction also had to be expurgated as well. Thus Smith used it to acquire a suit of badass Spartan MJOLNIR armour to shield his heart from the hurt of the world.

“No one ever sees the Master Chief’s face. You’re trying to disappear,” say his friends. Smith doesn’t disagree. Though his self-deprecating account is indeed humorous, this kind of cringe-inducing imagined dialogue with his ex is a little too specific to be simple parody: “I’m nailing the hell out this tool I met in karate class and while we’ve been driving in my car, you and I have been listening to the terrible mix CD he made me and now you’ll never be able to hear Alkaline Trio without wanting to fucking kill yourself.”

Yeah, after that kind of setback, I’d be buying a one-way ticket to Blackout Island with my friend Evan Williams, so it’s probably good he’s turned this loss into an emotional, if Pyrrhic, victory.

I’d wanted the suit for so long, and after such epic heartbreak, receiving each piece of armour — arriving in seven shipments, over the course of eight months-became an unintentionally cathartic process. As the shoulders, forearms, chest-piece, and helmet arrived slowly, one section at a time… well, with each part I got a small piece of myself back.

Much more of Smith’s journey at the link. Please pay him the courtesy of reading it.

Master Grief [Bygone Bureau]