People Petition To Round Up All Copies Of Skyrim, Outlaw And Burn Them

A Tennessee man kicked off a White House petition on Thanksgiving urging the President of the United States to ban The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for “the safety of America’s youths”.

So far he has five backers, and only 24,994 more digital signatures to go to meet his goal.

Confused? Let me explain. The official website for the White House now includes the ability for anyone 13 or older who lives in the US to start a petition about literally anything and try to garner the President’s attention with it. The result has been… interesting?

While there are legitimate petitions about legitimate issues on the site, there are also plenty of out-of-left field, and downright crazy ones. Maybe even some jokes. I’m not sure where this one falls, but I’m hoping it’s just a joke. Heck, maybe it’s linked to the christian satire article that Luke wrote about earlier today.

Here’s the full petition in all of its glory:

WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:

Immediately Ban the Deadly video game Known as “SkyRim” for The Safety of America’s Youths.

Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

We, the American people, today ask you,

1) To enact an immediate ban on the video game known as “SkyRim” produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

3) To prosecute the players of “SkyRim” to the fullest extent of the law.

4) To create a national database of video game avatars and “screen names” so that teenagers can be better monitored.

Immediately Ban the Deadly video game Known as “SkyRim” for The Safety of America’s Youths. [We The People]