Well, it looks like we can all go home. Critics, journalists, writers — the games press can retire, because JB Hifi is doing a wonderful job of filling in our shoes and Telling It Like It Is.
Personally, I really like that JB staff have a bit of fun with their game reviews. I took a photo of this review last week while I was wandering through the store being mistaken for a sales assistant (there must be something about me that screams “I know where things are”). I have been unfortunate enough to play Call of Duty, so I guess I can hang onto my consoles. For those who haven’t played it, I guess you are n00bs and should sell your consoles.
DEV
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:33 PMcalling wii owners noobs, lawl
PuckoJP
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:34 PM…there’s Call of Duty on the wii
HunterSBonobo
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:52 PMAnd yes, Wii owners are, for lack of a better word, noobs.
Ben
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:04 PMAnyone who owns Skyward Sword/Twilight Princess wants a word.
James Mac
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:30 PMGet them to send us their friend codes.
Jake
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:06 PMTwilight Princess is better on Gamecube :s
James Mac
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:08 PMHow good were the Rogue Squadron games?
Steve
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:39 PMI bought my Gamecube just to play Rogue Squadron 2 and it’s still a blast. Still pretty as hell, smooth as butter, the perfect Star Wars arcade experience.
James Mac
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 6:28 PMThey need to port those games to XBLA…
AT-J
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 8:56 AMThey are awesomesauce! I have all 3 still. Must dig them out for a crack.
shodannet
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:49 PMWow, wii bashing never gets old aye?
matt
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 11:46 PMthe wii has some good games.. but then you take away nintendo.. and its suddenly a steaming pile of shit. One dev doesn’t make a good console, the wii is a waste of money IMO
AT-J
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 8:57 AMThe Wii is great…. for playing Gamecube games!
lol
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 9:06 PMDEV sir, you are a noob
lol
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 9:08 PMP.S DEV the pic is of the wii version……
Obnoxious Child
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:34 PMAhh jb, we love you
Commander Shepard
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:09 PMah jb go fuck yourself, ill buy my games elsewhere
wrex
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:49 PMHe’s Commander Shepard, and this is not his favourite store on the Citadel.
Effluvium Boy
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:50 PMJB murdered your family?
Pariah
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 6:30 PMJB proved his family have terrible taste in music.
eltial
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:34 PMNot a noob. Just a different type of gamer. I’d rather play resistance or batman thanks. Or Final Fantasy Dissidia.
Brofist McTuffStuff
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:38 PMYeah, justify your noobishness any way you want.
I can smell it from here, bro.
I also typed this up with a 360 controller while I waited for the next MW3 map to load.
Alinos
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:05 PMFarking Lobby system. spend more time in that bastard than you play the damned game
Pariah
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:42 PMI much prefer Dissidia 012 Duodecim: Final Fantasy over the original, myself.
Crab Nicholson
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:35 PMBut it’s a shooter, why would you play it on a console if you’re not a noob…
Oliver Rose
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:48 PMPrecisely, looks like JB hires noobs to call other people noobs, how noobish.
Corteks
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:45 PMNoobception!
Rod
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:35 PMI played the original COD, does that cover me?
Vapor
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:36 PMMan, JB’s are really split personality about what they’ll allow and what they won’t. I know that when I worked there a little while back, if I had tried to write a review like that, I would have been whooped hard.
Also, insutling your customers? Smooth move right there.
hh
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:44 PMinsulting? It’s all tongue and cheek.
Oliver Rose
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:50 PMLol, whoever wrote the review is a noob. Everyone who isn’t a noob knows you play FPS’s on PC NOT console.
What a nooby reviewer.
HindenLagen the Undamned
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:54 PMTongue IN cheek.
lance
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:37 PMIf you think CoD is essential gaming you’re a terrible gamer.
McGarnical
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:15 PMAnd you’re a terrible internet commenter.
sharmona
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:23 PMass pained?
lance
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:54 PMOkay.
gman
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 10:57 PMwoah there big fella, watch where you pop that zit, you’re getting your 14 year youth juice all over my SNES catridge
MrTaco
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:37 PMIs COD the one with the Nazi Zombies? A friend of mine got me to have a go of that once. Otherwise I don’t think I have played one.
I hope it is, I don’t want to have to sell my consoles :(
Roberto Collums
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:39 PMCall of Duty is shit boring, hasn’t been good since Modern Warfare 1
RandomAbuse
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:46 PMMore like hasn’t been good since CoD 2
MrFaceplant
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:07 PM^this. it was after COD2 that the began to move focus away from linear but brilliant set piece gameplay, to multiplayer to cater for the console kiddies. Don’t get me wrong consoles are great and I enjoy the style of gaming they offer, shooters and rts’s are superior on PC with out a doubt.
bap
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 9:31 AMhasn’t been good since world at war…
scree
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:39 PMOkay so who wants to buy my NES, SNES, N64, Playstation, Playstation 2, Gamcube, Xbox, NDS phat, NDS lite, Wii, Xbox360, DSi, 3DS and Playstation 3?
Because I have never play a COD game and I’m obviously a n00b who should sell their consoles. =( I will miss them.
Ryan
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:44 PMI’ll take them all of your hands for $50?
Roberto Collums
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:45 PMThose consoles are worth thousands of dollars together, moron.
Tracey Lien
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:47 PMAnd so he would be getting them at an absolutely bargain if he only pays $50!
Oliver Rose
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:53 PMI’ll have them for free and donate them to someone who’s played CO Dbut has no consoles for they are not noobs, apparently.. >_>
Bryce
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:53 PMJust sell up, Scree. Join the peace corps or something. Its over, bro
Sam
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:54 PMThat’s a nicer response than he deserved
Oliver Rose
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:56 PMI’m confused, is everyone angry at Scree? Or Ryan?
Tracey Lien
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:01 PMThis is The Internet. Everyone is angry at everyone at all times. :P
weresmurf
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:06 PMWE ARE NOT… I’m so pissed at you for claiming that…
Roberto Collums
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:10 PMIM NEVER FUCKING ANGRY ON THE GOD DAMN INTERNET!
Mawt
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:05 PMI think we’re far enough into this argument to invoke Godwin’s Law, you Nazis.
James Mac
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:06 PMThat is so racist.
Arkayn - Adrian Milano
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:26 PMYES! you have summed up the internet FINALLY! In saying that I love you and Mark and hence your summation is both correct and incorrect **universe explodes**
Chris Lynn
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:18 PMI’d say Roberto, for missing the joke.
scree
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 9:33 PMThey can’t be angry at me for taking a joke right? Or maybe it’s my lack of anger that made them angry
McGarnical
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:15 PMWhat, no Dreamcast?
James Mac
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:00 PMNo Virtual Boy… no sale.
scree
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 9:29 PMNo dreamcast as yet, but hopefully in the future. Some of the best xbox games were dreamcast sequels
Glenn
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:42 PMI really thought it was going to say “If you’ve played one Call of Duty game you’ve played them all”.
Barry
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:42 PMThe use of the term “noob” has become so cringeworthy and outdated. I have to squint whenever I hear someone use it.
Neo-Kaiser
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:43 PMLike “teabag”. People forget the original meaning and now use it to prove how “pro” they are.
JumpJumpDie
Tuesday, December 13, 2011 at 10:32 AMI had an ex-gf who used to call people noobs and she wasn’t a gamer (except orsm facebook games!). Cringe worthy.
Neo-Kaiser
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:42 PMIt’s funny because that’s the attitude you’d expect from bro gamers or kids. Thinking the pinnacle of gaming is and will always be CoD.
Pariah
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:43 PMHow depressing.
diaglyph
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:43 PMWha? Meh, I hate CoD and games like it, no loss for me.
Excelsior
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:50 PMIts obviously a tongue in cheek joke, why on earth do people get offended?
Oliver Rose
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:54 PMTongue and cheek is acceptable. In this instance the reviewer seems more arrogant..though.
Kai
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:53 PMOh well.
At least I have still have my beloved Professor Layton games to keep me happy…
Bryce
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:55 PMI enjoy how riled up everyone is getting.
Sort of wish Troll Phelps had written this, just so he could live up to his name a little more.
Mark Serrels
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:25 PMDetective Troll Phelps should totally get on this case.
Pariah
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:47 PM+9001
James Mac
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:05 PMBut… we’ve got Columbo now.
Repneiras
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:56 PMSure, let’s take this seriously.
FatShady
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:58 PMhehe im a noob!… and I’m OK with that.
Tracey Lien
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:02 PMTim to sell up, FatShady. I expect to see your Xboxes (all five of them!) on eBay by close of business.
Jamie
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:05 PMI am not a newb. I’m an 01D. When I was a spry young lass, I wandered through the halls of Quake and Unreal and such, sniping heads with a rail gun while jumping off tall buildings… Alas, now, all I experience in these games is walking 5 feet and getting shot in the back of the head.
also, controllers suck!
But really, I miss being able to enjoy FPSs! I just tried APB and between being 01d and in Australia (Yay ping times over 1k!) it lost it’s fun as soon as other players were in the mix and I became what we in Netrek used to call ‘free beer’.
Strange
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:48 PMI was just reminiscing about the “good old days” when I used to play FPSs like Quake, and Hexen this morning. I miss the fantasy ones, there’s too many war and realistic ones around these days for me.
LinkageAX
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:03 PMI too remember those days, been reliving Q3 on quakelive; wireless internet makes it impossible to play though :(
Arkayn - Adrian Milano
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:28 PMI am so going to play my old Quakes and Hexens now for nostalgia!!! YAY
BDKIAF
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 3:58 PMGuys. Hey, guys. I think this might be a joke. Chill.
McGarnical
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:17 PMI just googled what your name means. Awesome.
Michael Barnes
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:04 PMI played it on PC. I’m elite.
(prepares for elitist whore posts)
Elmer Tramp
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:10 PMI feel so . . . ANGRY!!!!
Elmer Tramp
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:12 PM*Hungry – I meant to say hungry.
Elmer Tramp
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:13 PMJust to clarify: I feel so . . . hungry
McGarnical
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:17 PMWell, maybe if your gravatar didn’t look like Ghandi??
Elmer Tramp
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:26 PMThat may be so, but an eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
McGarnical
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:42 PMOn second thoughts, maybe it’s Don Logan.
(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203119/)
Elmer Tramp
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 5:12 PM\o/
McGarnical
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:11 PMThe comments on this article are bad for my blood pressure.
Takes a deep breath.
No, I have nothing else to say.
Face turning purple, he makes an excuse and leaves the room.
Simon
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:14 PMThe DNF and Lulu ones were funny.. this one is a bit silly because others have said, it hardly makes you a noob. The other two were true, though as DNF was a bit shit and Lulu sucks ass.
Thom
Monday, December 12, 2011 at 4:17 PMThe comments here…