In Real Life

I Want Its Plumage, I Want Its Suspense, My Game Of The Year Could Be A Bird Romance

If you’d asked me yesterday morning my pick for Game of the Year, I would probably have said The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Now, having witnessed Quarter to Three‘s Angie Gallant play through the English translation of bizarre bird-based visual novel Hatoful Boyfriend, I’m not so sure.

While you can certainly find a Japanese copy of Hatoful Boyfriend somewhere and apply the recently-released English patch, it’s far more entertaining to watch a sickness-addled Angie Gallant struggle to make sense of life as disguised human Cloaca Mahoney as she struggles to find romance amongst the birds and avoid murder most fowl.

For instance, the screenshot above was accompanied by the following:

This is my childhood friend. We just had a conversation about how it’s hard to get the day started without red meat in your belly, and now we are going to St. Pigeo’s School for Talented Birds.

Fuck yes.

And it just keeps getting better and better. Flip through our gallery for highlights from Angie’s bird learning experience, or hit up the link below and read through the whole sordid tale.

Hatoful Boyfriend – A dating game about pigeons. [Quarter to Three Forums]

“You will be mine.”

“OH SHIT HE SAW THROUGH MY CUNNING DISGUISE”

“The doctor appears. He’s offering to feed me drugs, he is the closest thing to a glasses character this game will have, and his theme music is Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. I MUST HAVE HIM.”

“Sold!”

“OH GOD SHUT UP

Finally that arsehole fucks off and leaves me alone with the drugs.”

“Did I mention that they aren’t allowed to fly? It’s a sports festival at a school that is explicitly for birds and they aren’t allowed to fly. It’s a school run by sadists.”

“Goddamnit, game, why won’t you let me be honest about my feelings.”

“It’s a cave, arsehole, and don’t call me Cloaca. You have to earn the right to address me so informally.”

“There we go! Nothing awkward about saying it would be cool if he was a murderer! Conversation: SAVED”

“… I am so getting murdered.”

“WHY AM I TERRIFIED OF A FAT BIRD WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING”