Hey, so the ESRB released its ratings certificate for Kinect Star Wars, let’s read along: “In this action game, based on the Star Wars universe,” mmhm, yeah, “players use their body movements to perform activities,” right, gotcha, “that include dance tournaments“.
What the heck?
That’s right, folks, Kinect Star Wars, which has gone through two shoulder-shrugging unveilings at E3 in 2010 and 2011, before righting the ship (sort of) recently, has apparently added dancing minigames as a way to engage players’ Jedi fantasies.
Podracing, that’s OK. Not my cup of tea, but I was raised on the original trilogy. And while the game involves a bone-crunching, Gamorrean-snacking Rancor, we already knew about that (and the podracing) from this document leaked six months ago. A dance contest is a total blindside. I don’t know of anyone in either generation dying to get their groove on to Lapti Nek.
Good news, though, “in the dancing mini-game, some female characters perform suggestive moves (e.g., gyrating their hips/buttocks) and wear revealing outfits (partially exposed cleavage/buttocks). The words “damn” and “hell” can be heard in the dialogue.”
Damn, this game really went to hell, didn’t it.
Kinect Star Wars [ESRB, via Joystiq]
Grandmaster B-Funk
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 4:49 PMReally?
shodannet
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 5:28 PMIf only:
http://www.unc.edu/~jmspille/images/awesome3.jpg
Mr Waffle
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 6:20 PMThis is not the game I bought Kinect for.
Sam Timmins
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 6:31 PMYou have failed me for the last time Kinect!
Jack McCrack
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 6:32 PMAnyone who owned a GameCube would remember the intro for Star Wars: Rogue Squadron III – Rebel Strike:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nyMxe8S3jI
N0NEoftheAB0VE
Tuesday, December 20, 2011 at 12:35 AMThat is the most awesome thing I have ever witnessed!
MDolley
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 8:06 PMMy guess is somebody at the ESRB (Probably John) was walking down a hall with a whole bunch of reports, and then he bumped into Sarah (the cute girl in the IT department) and dropped his stuff. While trying to sort everything out the reports on Star Wars Kinect and “Misc Kinect Dance Game” got mixed together.
Everything is going to be OK. This is just a mix up. I can’t think of any other explanation.
Stevorooni
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 10:39 PMOn the plus side, some fool is gonna get lightsabered when they attempt to play Misc Kinect Dance Game
Ad
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 8:27 PMOh Owen, you really think you’d be *lucky* enough to get Lapti Nek?
It’ll be Jedi Rocks all the way, no question.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiDRgDmXGi4
Shane
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 9:49 PMThis game just went from “will never buy” to…
No, wait. Nothing’s changed.
Lachlan
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 10:55 PMIt’s a cantina scene. Of course..
Lazysleep
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 11:09 PMLame
mchaza
Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 11:34 PMReally this game need the light saber really. What did everyone do with the Wii when they first held it, move it around like a light saber. really a move star wars game would kick ass so bad, but a Kinect star wars game without the light saber at all is just going to be bad.
Braaains
Monday, December 19, 2011 at 1:22 AMMake it stop… make it stop…
Luke
Monday, December 19, 2011 at 1:24 AM………….why? it looks like a massive piece of shit already, then they ad this?
Braaains
Monday, December 19, 2011 at 10:24 AMThis may actually be accidental confirmation that Lucas is going to add a dance-battle scene (possibly to replace the Obi-Wan / Vader lightsabre duel in A New Hope) during his next bout of sodomizing his own creation. So, in fairness to the developers, this may actually turn out to be canon.
N0NEoftheAB0VE
Tuesday, December 20, 2011 at 12:35 AMLOL! Its funny because its probably true!
Pretty Swell Guy
Monday, December 19, 2011 at 12:10 PMI wanna dance to Yub Nub!!