I am so sorry. In the massive rush that was the lead up to Christmas, I somehow forgot to announce the winners for the Modern Warfare 3 Hardened Edition. Sorry about that. But I’m here to make it all right!
This was one of those comps that just had an absolute metric buttload of entries. Meaning that it took me a very long time to actually read through all the comments, create a little shortlist and then select a winner.
With that said, I felt like this was the best entry…
thejiveman
Well this morning after my usual cup of tree sap that is assisting me in my transformation into a tree i rode my square wheeled bike down to my local prison. Once i got there i offered the prisoners freedom and threw a bunch of blank keys over the fence and stood there until a guard called the police and the prisoners mouthes frothed. I then went down to the emergency room at my local hospital and went from room to room taking a deep breath in each of them. I then went out the front of the hospital and got hit by a car, when the ambulance arrived i got up told the paramedics that i dont believe in health insurance and walked home. Then i got on kotaku in my mind and wrote this. I also write for womens weekly.
I can’t really explain why I decided to go with thejiveman’s entry — I guess I just loved the insane stream-of-consciousness and the fact that he doesn’t believe in health insurance! Also — he writes for ‘womens weekly’ [sic]!
As per the ritual, here are some of the others that came close!
sarujin
Starch, all kinds of starch. Add to clothing, food, paper. Everything will get slightly harder.Almighty Booka
Two words: Knee armour.Argi
I’d poke chuck norris and then close my eyes and wait for the inevitable…Josh
Josh used HARDEN.
It’s Super Effective!
Kotaku surrendered the Hardened Copy of MW3 to Josh!
But Josh can’t move…he’s too hard.Chuloopa
Easy.Every day until the winner is announced i am going to tell my lovely partner:
her bum DOES look big in those pants
yes there IS something wrong – but i’m not telling
Parenthood is a rubbish show
i HAVE had better, and not necessarily with a person
She IS having a bad hair day
annnnddddd
i’m cancelling Christmas. Only for her, though.
And i will do all of this WITH NO CROTCH ARMOR OR PADDING!
Mitch
I will read every thread ever created on 4chan.Batguy
Go for a swim then sit in the freezer for a while.Jordaan Mylonas
I’d hook up a pair of video goggles so that the left eye plays the opening scene from “Up”, and the right eye plays the opening scenes from “The Land Before Time”. On loop.
For an extra dose of hardness, I’d do all of this while Marley and Me plays in the background.
Congrats and thanks to all who entered.
Matthew K
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:09 PMNice. I pretty much dumped my entry and tuned out so I hadn’t seen most of these.
Congrats jiveman!
Tracey Lien
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:14 PMA well-deserved win.
Batguy
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:15 PMChuloopa: “Every day until the winner is announced i am going to tell my lovely partner…”
Boy, that must have been a long Christmas break then – you must be tough as nails by now!
Chuloopa
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:23 PMAnd single!
Congrats, jiveman!
What an epic and well-deserved win!
Well done :D
Bryce
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:25 PMOr sing-Ohsonofa.
THAT WAS MY LINE!
Chuloopa
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:29 PMgreat minds think alike.
we should together and *ahem* harden up ;)
Joshy206
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:15 PMCongrats! Well deserved, as always.
Also, I’m back, babies.
Harli
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:42 PM\o/
Chuloopa
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:34 PMALSO – i take full blame for Mark forgetting to announce the winner for this comp.. i mean i did send a horde of TAYbies over there, and then proceeded to take over Kotaku for the next couple of weeks :s
AND THERE’S STILL MORE TO COME!
Almighty Booka
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 2:57 PMMy entry would have been funnier if he chose the winner when it was only a slightly outdated meme, rather than a completely overused, dead in the water one. *pout face*
thejiveman
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 3:07 PMThank you all so much, first time ive won anything in my life. No meat trays for jive! Haha thanks again.
LDX
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 3:10 PMbah, i bet none of those people actually did anything they wrote.
Jordaan Mylonas
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 3:51 PMCongrats to Jiveman.
Also, I got a mention, yay!
UberRoxor
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 3:58 PMAll that waiting for nothing. Bah humbug.
Congrats.
Luke
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 4:22 PMA skyrim related joke ‘came close’? How many skyrim related entries were there? I lost count aftet the first page, the winner was great though
Virus__
Monday, January 9, 2012 at 10:05 PMI totally forgot about this comp, better yet I forget what I even entered lol.
Emanance
Tuesday, January 10, 2012 at 9:37 AMIf anyone here wants to buy my unused pass codes (elite membership and founder status and all that jazz) for the Xbox 360 version of MW3 just let me know. I bought a copy at launch but I just can’t see myself ever getting in to the multiplayer as I’m to busy with BF3.