Talk Amongst Yourselves

This is where Kotaku readers go to talk about the stuff we’re not already posting about. Think of it as the official unofficial Kotaku community forum.


    Now, I'm not a sports person, but even I'm impressed with Michael Clarke's current score.

      He playing Geometry Wars again?

      Pup's doing alright for himself apparently.

      Just had a look, he's sitting on the 15th highest runs in an innings at the moment.

        Australia just declared with Clarke at 329.

        WTF mate.

          Still had plenty of time for him to go for Hayden's 380 score :( Or at LEAST Taylor's 3rd position.

            Taylor/Bradman's equal third*

            I'm amazed that he called it with just 6 runs needed to get ahead of those two. What's another fifteen minutes before going for the win?

            And you can bet this decision was made because he wants the result.

              Yeah, he's such a bastard putting the team's win above his personal record. Geez, what a douche. :P

                It's a symbolic team move.

                The team doesn't need him to forgo the record in order for them to win. Another fifteen minutes at the crease would have secured 335+ and still given them plenty of time this afternoon.

                I fully understand that he was saying "my record isn't important, let's win this thing", which is admirable. It's just damned unnecessary.

              It's possible he didn't want to break Bradman's record. After all, remember that Tubby pulled up stumps when he reached it so he wouldn't break it

                (Don't know if anybody will read this now but) the difference there was that Bradman's score was the highest by an Australian at the time, and Taylor didn't want to surpass that. Once Hayden went past it and scored 380 in 2003, that milestone lost most of its significance (IMO).

    Afternoon guys, how are we all doing today?

    I see Clarke finally got his 3 centuries against India in the test. Australia's now got something like 3x as many runs as those Indians do, ha!

      What do you mean "Those Indians". :P

        Those particular Indians who make up the current touring test cricket team.
        As opposed to the other 1.21 billion Indians

          Yeah, what he said!

    I mentioned this on the last page but this is starting to bug me.

    Why do so many gaming peripherals have lights all over them? The one that particularly bugs me are the PC cases with the clear side and a rainbow of coiled LED strings are chucked in there. Or the fans with lights on them.

    Why dammit?

      Couldn't agree more, I like to turn out the lights and the room to be dark, get immersed in the game and only the game. Not the same with flurescent blue flashing.

        My keyboard has three lights on it. Caps lock, Num lock and Scroll lock. The only one that is ever on is Num Lock, which has the light come through the key.

        I put the Escape key where the Num Lock key was so that I didn't see the light (my keyboard came with a couple of custom keys and I put one of those in place of the Escape key).

        Shutup, what I said does make sense!

          I broke the lights on my old keyboard just so I wouldn't have to deal with any lights at all (tape over all other lights after that). Neon cases etc are madness.

      Because PURDY COLOURS

      Yeah, not a big fan.

        Big fan or little, they all seem to have lights :P


      Because we love the shinies

        And yet you didn't style your hair DBZ style while you were blonde.

        Kids these days.

          It's one of those things that make me feel as though my life will be forever incomplete.

            "Feel", don't you mean "realise and accept"? :p

      This is my #1 complaint with just about every bit of 'enthusiast' PC kit. LEDs everywhere. It's so damned tacky. I hate things glowing all over the place, I have my PC in my room and like to be able to sleep.

      I like my hardware to be clean and elegant, not tacky and full of bling. I look at something like the NZXT Phantom case and it's lovely... but those blue lights. And the window which will cause all the lights on the motherboard to bleed out... :(

      I should move to my own place where I can have my PC in a different room and then the problem wouldn't be a problem I guess.

      I HAte the lights on certain peripherals but i think if they are done sparingly on the cas it makes it look that little more zazzy. My PC has the fan light on the very front and i think it looks fine. Blue and red and green lights look a bit tacky though. Don't get me started on alienware stuff either!

      Because blue makes things cooler and red makes things go faster, both qualities you want in computer-related items.
      Trust me, I got a 50 in Physics 1A, so clearly one of those things is true.

    Hey Morf I wrote you a reply on the main differences between LoL and HoN back on page!

    I got my GAME advertising email. Usually I delete as junk, but looked at this one, and it said "You have $15.02" to spend in any GAME store. Where did that come from? I have no idea.

    Then I logged into my DAZ3D account and found $12.03 credit. Where did that come from? Again, no idea.

    Also, it's payday. Lovely.

    People are just throwing money at me today. I like it. Anyone else want to give it a go? :)

      I've got some coins in my pocket but I don't think I can throw that far.

        Just face roughly in the dirrection of Canberra and throw shit.

        Sentiment appreciated anyway :)

    Following on from the bitching about LEDs (but a rather separate issue), the store I buy my PC parts from recently started stocking Gunnar glasses.

    I mentioned this on TeamSpeak but I actually like the idea behind these. If you sit in front of a computer all day and struggle with eye strain, something like this could be rather excellent. They make you look like a douche, what with the yellow lenses and all (although they do come with clear lenses too) but if they work and you suffer from this ailment it doesn't seem like a terrible idea.

    The weird thing is that I actually looked these up recently before finding out that the local store stocks them (they're in the monitor section, in case anyone cares how I found them). TotalBiscuit was streaming SC2 and playing with Catz.

    Catz always wears these glasses and is pretty evangelistic about them. TB mentioned that he's just received a pair. Doesn't know anything about them but he seems to have the same idea as me. If you have this problem and they solve it, then they're a pretty okay product.

    Still, "Gaming". I really dislike "gaming" peripherals.

    The only gaming peripheral I own for my PC is the mousepad and that's because Razer was the only company that sold a big enough mousepad (which I only use a fraction of because I like high sensitivity). Everything else just happens to also function rather well for gaming, by virtue of functioning well at most things.

        I have no qualms with being a gamer. I rather dislike being marketed to by someone who thinks that a gamer is one of those totally radical kids from the 90s that never grew out of that phase.

      I looked at those a while back but I have awful eyes such that my prescription changes all over the place. Keratoconus in one eye. I actually should probably be wearing contacts, when I get a chance and find a decent one I intend to visit an Ophthalmologist to inquire about some.

      At the moment I think I couldn't actually get Gunnars anyway simply because the glass in my right eye needs to be so thick that it can't be bent into that wrap-around style without causing distortions. Makes getting prescription sunglasses a bitch too.

      I'm trying to find a negative review of the damned things, or something to give a more detailed explanation of how they work (which didn't come directly from Gunnar with their fancy made up terms).

      I'm genuinely intrigued.

      the only time i was truly horrified in alleged "gamer" gear, is when i walked past my local eb's, only to find "the Gamer Glove" which apparently reduces the friction between your hand and whatever surface it's resting on by an incredible 15%!!!!
      i mean, who's that pedantic that they need to reduce the friction your hand is creating when you're using a mouse?

      My understanding is they combine the uv filter of the early 2000's with a special shaped lens that helps reduce air flow around the eyes. I dont know bout you guys, but i dont blink when im at a computer, so ym eyes get very dry, the lower air flow means higher humidity means less drying.

      Thats basic talk for what they believe they do.

        I don't believe that bit about the "trapping humidity" or whatever. Here's a rather detailed Amazon review.

        Amusingly, nobody can see to agree on the magnification of the lenses (some claims by Gunnar are none or "less than .25" from multiple reviews) and one reviewer assumed as high as 1.25.

    I knew freyr was lying when she said she was a "doctor" . See even optus says she can't be Lol

      Female doctors? That's a thing of science fiction! :p

        That's not a doctor! It's a woman, man!

        *tears of wig*

          One of my wife's favourite shows:

            I shamefully watched that this morning on Foxtel. I kept on waiting for the Deadwood style realism to kick in. It didn't. ;)

          You can cry wigs? WITCH!!


            But yes, I can.

    Catching up from the previous page:

    Our main thing is the 5-day floating Metal festival of '70000 tons of Metal' which goes from Miami to Grand Cayman island and back. We have a couple of days in LA beforehand though so that's about all the sightseeing we'll get.
    I'd love to visit New York one day, I'd also love to road trip across the US. Probably have to wait until the kids leave home though. :P

    I also was in the US for the same metal cruise, plus my honeymoon a year ago. What I miss every day is the bacon.
    I could squeeze you into my luggage on the way there because I'll have an empty bag I plan to fill with cheap US shoppings, but you'd have to find your own way home. Sound like a good plan?

    Freeze S. Preston, Icequire:
    Hugh Jackman is a very effeminate guy. He is not attractive, he's not manly enough.

      Wolverine isn't manly enough?

      Damn, woman, you have some unrealistically high standards :p

        That's just because she's comparing him to me
        * Poses
        / |
        / \

          Ouch! my pose broke! apparently I've been in a horrible car crash!

             / |
              / \

            I think I fixed 'im. That'll be whatever a chiropractor charges...

            Wait, that's a lot of money. I'll give you mates rates. $500 please.

              / |
              / \

              Possibly better.

                Or worse.

                Why can't comments and the comment box both have the same spacing?

                  My spine! MY SPINE!

                  worst chiropractor ever!

                  I did appreciate the happy ending though.

          You rock gorzy!

        Wolverine is manly, Hugh Jackman playing Wolverine is weird and kind of creepy.

        But then, I also think my husband has a bit of a feminine figure....

          I ride motorbikes and have tattoos and a beard. That's kinda manly, no?
          But I'm a ginger so it's a bad manly :(

            Why is ginger bad manly? My husband and son are both gingers.

              I'm just going off the general opinion of gingers. I have no issue with being a ginger but try to make light of it when others think it's oh-so-fun to make jokes.

                Ewwwww Gingers! How do we live with them?

            Speaking of which, I rode my motorbike into work for the first time in months. I gave it a rest for a while after I had to dodge cars 3 days in a row because they didn't look and jumped straight into my lane.

            Had some Idiot jump into my lane again. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME PEOPLE!

            I may have to resort to keeping a baseball bat tucked under my jacket for the next one.

              That was meant to be a reply to F4ction

              I didn't know you had a bike Gorzy, what have you got if I may ask?

                Only a little one. Kawasaki ZZR 250.

                I think about upgrading to something with a bit more gurnt now and then but this really does everything I ask of it at the moment. Of cause I probably only say that because I've never actually ridden a bigger road bike.

                  Cool, nothing wrong with a 250 if it does all you want it to.
                  I considered keeping my 250 for a while but then it went through the side of a car so I figured I might as well upgrade.

          As a effeminate dude i can tell you that Hugh Jackman is most certainly not like me. He has certain mannerisms that make him seem a little femine but you could also say that he looks like a genuinely nice guy !

            Also don't let blaghs hear you say that he might eat your face off, i think he is a massive fan of his!

            Rocketman I actually don't think you are an effeminate dude and i'm surprised that you identify yourself as such.

              Apparently I have enough effeminate mannerisms that several people I know have questioned my sexual preference.

              I can confidently say that I am straight having never felt the slightest aroused by looking at another male but I find it weird that people get other impressions. I like to think I’m just polite.

              I really don't identify myself as anything. I try and stay away from labels altogether. I am just me, which is to say others may percieve me as femine because i grew up soley in a family of women!

                That quote belongs on your ironic Tumblr.

                  I wrote it full well knowing how stupid it sounded. I then thought will people get the irony if i write this, and even if they don't i thought it was hillarious!

            To me you seem more childlike than effeminate. Not sure if that seems better to you though. :P

              Thanks strange i am unsure should i delighted or mortified. :/

            You wanna see effeminate? Come hang out with me, babe.

            -Run's long fingers across lips-


            -smiles to try and cover it up-

            -tooth falls out-


          By those standards, you must assume I have ovaries :p

            I just assume that about everyone I talk to.

              Which is known as "Bishing".

        Also I feel like I should clarify about Hugh Jackman. For an everyday person, he is attractive, but he's constantly held up as some kind of paragon of manliness and attractiveness by both men and women and I don't understand why when he's one of the least man-like stars around.

          I think it's more than just physical attractiveness with HJ. He's the epitome of the new age guy: sensitive, caring, plus he's popular, famous, talented, with feet pretty firmly planted in wholesome reality. He just comes across a nice guy, a rarity in real life, a true rarity in celebrityhood. His looks don't hurt, either.

            I wil be handing in all my man cards now. That sounded a bit gushy :P

            I think that's kind of the point - "Epitome of the new-age guy." I'm sure he's a great person and probably attractive but he lacks the rough, slightly dangerous side of manliness.
            It's why I did not like him as Wolverine - from my understanding Wolverine was a gruff brute killer and HJ is just too nice a guy.

              Yes, I'm arguing attractiveness, rather than manliness.

      That sounds all kinds of fun. (If you're into metal, which I assume you are. :p) I'd love to do a road trip across the U.S. too, but I don't drive and would probably end up being the annoying dead weight on the trip who doesn't contribute...

        I don't drive either. However my plan for this year is to finally learn how. Once my son starts school between that and my daughter starting High School next year I'm definitely thinking knowing how to drive will come in handy. Maybe if I think of it all as practice for my eventual US Road Trip then it will make it easier.

          If i can learn to drive miss strange i am sure you will be fine. It isn't hard it is just a little scary to start with then after the scariness comes the boringness of long drives. $ hours to stevos place and 4 hours home, i haven't recovered from the boredom yet!

      That sounds like an EPIC trip, have a blast over there :D
      I spent a month driving up and down the west coast in 2010, it was an epic experience.

        You go to Yosemite National Park? Pictures of that puts Australia's terrain to shame. :p Definitely on the list.

          Yosemite is an amazing place, but you know what beat it for me? 3 days Snowmobiling around Yellowstone Nat. Park. 3 of the best days of my life, and the best part was the park was next to empty. I went to the Old Faithful geyser, the one that goes off pretty much every hour. The ranger there said at the height of summer theres something like 2000 people come to each eruption. When i was there in the depths of Winter there wouldn't have been 20. Got some great photos too

            The more I read, the more the jealousy levels increased. Nicely done. :D Sounds insanely good.

              Here's some of my photos if you want a look, I should have it set up so you can see


                "This content is currently unavailable"

                Maybe it's for the best, jealousy levels at dangerous levels already. :p

                  Oh, I thought I had it all set up properly. And don't think of as jealousy, think of it as incentive :)

      Not Manly:


          guys guys guys...

          you're foretting:


            *forgetting, even

      That sounds like an amazing plan. Although I would have to disagree with you on the bacon. I prefer my bacon to be able to withstand a fork without shattering.

    Ugh, never water down coffee, unless you want it to taste like super burnt toast.

      I do! Thanks!

      mmm... toast...

      pffft watering down means less caffeine.... I PREFER MINE RAAAAW

      *munches on coffee grains*

    Yo, Crazyguy1990. The businessman is in the henhouse *taps nose twice*

    Also, i totally forgot to rip off that tracking code thing. Let me know if it doesn't arrive my tomorrow, if it doesn't I'll have to start some dramas a my local post office.

      Will do.
      Thanks, mate. :)

    India have just lost a wicket. They are currently 1/53.

      wow, 1 kill 53 deaths?
      india sucks at CoD...


      Didn't they lose that wicket ages ago?

        yeah, they were 1/20 or so

        Currently running a contest in the office for score at days end.
        I'm going for 5/107 which is up against 6/160 and 3/120

    So... Backloggery.

    - Does this have some kind of database for games it knows about or is it just building a list? Having to type in every game name randomly is kind of annoying and I might as well just use a spreadsheet or something
    - Is the accepted thing to add your whole library, or just your Pile of Shame at the moment?

      As far as I know, you have to add games manually. Not exactly optimal.

      As for the accepted thing, I don't know. I just put in my pile of shame. Putting in my whole collection would take too long and I just don't care.

        That's a bit disappointing. Could be so much more than that. :( I was sort of assuming it would replace the old text file I used to use for my pile of shame but apparently not.

        Maybe I should just sit down and build the full thing I was thinking about putting together myself.

    @ Strange

    Is Beven manly enough for you?

    The Million Deaths of the Soul Knight
    Part Seven: Don't Let the Bearbugs Bite

    (with a special cameo)

    A fine mist settled on the knight’s face as he emerged from the mine shaft. He breathed a sigh of relief, glad to be free from that claustrophobic descent. Exploding magic proximity mines had almost sent him flying into a narrow, bottomless crevasse, and an ambush from a scythe-wielding miner had nearly taken his head off before he’d even seen it.

    Here, visibility was good, and he was safe for the moment.

    Before him was a sheer cliff face, with a narrow twisting path leading down, ever down. Leaning over the edge, he could see a path leading around the base of the mountain; presumably, this was his destination. Heat came up in waves from lava pits far below, making a steam bath of the light rain falling from the sky. Hence the mist. It was mildly refreshing, yet draining at the same time. He couldn’t linger here too long.

    “Hey, up here!”

    Startled by the voice, he jumped, raising his sword. Then he noticed a human-shaped figure on the ridge above, waving at him. Another survivor, in need of rescue? He had seen too many in recent days... yet too few for him to have much hope for the future of humanity. Certainly everyone who could be saved, should be saved.

    He slung his shield over his shoulder and began to climb the rock face. It was not a difficult climb, even in his light armour, and he soon found himself clambering onto the ridge. “Hile, friend!” he called, though he had his shield ready again, just in case the madness had claimed this person. “Do you need assistance?”

    “Indeed,” called the man. “My name is Patches, and I could use a strong lad like you to get me to safety. My leg, you see.” Upon closer inspection, he did seem to be favouring his right leg.

    “I can get you to the Nexus,” the knight said. “It’s the only place safe from the demons right now.”

    Patches slapped him on the back. “Then we are indeed well met!” he cried jubilantly. “You know, they used to call me the Hyena... but that was before I became a cripple. Wonder what they’ll call me now.”

    The knight said nothing, preferring instead to let his silence indicate the time pressures he was under. A people person, he was not.

    “Listen, son, you wouldn’t do me a favour, would you?” Patches asked, grinning a broken-toothed grin at him. “My bag is just around that corner. It’s got everything I own in this world, but I’m too sickly to risk the narrow path. Would you mind fetching it for me?”

    The knight shrugged. The path was narrow, but seemed safe enough, if he was careful. “All right,” he said. “Stay here, I’ll be back soon.”

    He began to walk down the path, tracing one hand along the cliff face for balance, trying not to look down. Patches watched him from his perch, his eyes bright and unwavering.

    He was almost too slow. From a perch high above, he noticed a flash of shadow, like something had just blocked out the sun for a moment. He rushed forward, slipping one foot off the edge of the cliff but somehow retained his balance. His shield went spinning into the abyss, down to the lava pits far below. Only inches behind him, the rear sections of a Giant Bearbug crashed onto the path. The Bearbug was huge, at least a full tonne, taking up the entire width of the path and then some. The knight could see only a dead end ahead. He was trapped.

    Presently, he became aware of laughter. Cackling of the maniacal variety. Patches danced merrily over towards the knight, rubbing his hands in glee. “Hee hee! When you starve to death, I will pick you clean! Oooh, all that shiny equipment will be mine!”

    “Hyena,” the knight whispered furiously.

    “Har har har har!” cackled Patches, dancing away out of sight.

    The knight took his sword and weighed his options. The rock was sheer; he couldn’t climb to safety, either up or down. He would have to destroy the Bearbug. Thankfully it was facing the wrong way, and was relatively defenceless. He lifted the weapon to strike...

    ... and it was whisked out of his hand by the Bearbug’s tail-like stinger. The sword went the way of his shield, wheeling end over end into the red hot molten rock far below.

    The knight blinked in surprise, and then beat a hasty retreat as the stinger began to lash out at him. It caught his armour once, but thankfully did not break through to skin; he feared it was poisonous.

    Huddled against the sheer rock, he knew he was beaten. Patches would loot his corpse and take all his equipment. How was he to fight the demon world in just his underwear?

    And then out of nowhere, he heard a voice. “Ne'er fear, troobled knecht! yer buddy Doog McCreedy is haur!”

    Doug McCreedy... the stuff legends were made of. Word had it that he had conquered the asylum realm with just his bare fists. The knight could have sworn that McCreedy was long dead, though. Long, long dead. Surely this couldn’t be...?

    The bare-chested barbarian landed on the path between the knight and the Bearbug. It certainly looked like him, or at least the images the knight had seen in his childhood. McCreedy grabbed the Bearbug’s stinger and swung the beast off the ground, hurling it off the edge of the cliff with apparently no effort.

    “I’m a level 721, don’t ye ken.?” he said by way of explanation.

    Then he was gone, and the path was clear. The knight shook his head in amazement, wondering why this realm had been left to the likes of him to save when heroes like Doug McCreedy would be far more suitable choices.

    Clearly Patches wasn’t expecting him to survive, because the knight found him asleep on a nearby ridge. He kicked the man awake, and put his armoured boot on Patches’ throat.

    “Nooo, I didn’t mean it. It’s in my nature. I can’t help it! Please don’t hurt me! I’ll give you pretties! Yes, yes, take it. Take this!” he said, holding out his hand. “It’s a valuable ring, I promise! You’ll feel invincible!”

    The knight took the ring and turned it over in his hand. It did make him feel pretty go...

    But the second he took his eye off Patches, the Hyena had grabbed his foot and twisted. The knight overbalanced and went toppling over the edge of the cliff. The lava pits rushed up to meet him, and the last sound he heard was maniacal cackling...

      The Million Deaths of the Soul Knight

      Part One: Neverending Night:
      Part Two: Dragonsbane:
      Part Three: Fire In The Hole:
      Part Four: The Ultimate Treasure:
      Part Five: Stormy Weather:
      Interlude #1: The Ballad of Ostrava:
      Part Six (er... coming soon. I typo'd)
      Part Seven: Don't Let the Bearbugs Bite:

      Wow. Doug certainly calmed down in his old age.

      And if Patches wasn't such a convenient source of arrows he would have died a terrible death. Unlucky for him, he wasn't so useful in Dark Souls *evil cackle*

        Oh dear, I broke character. Sorry. :(

          Its all good.It makes sense that he would get older and wiser as he grew more powerful. Its more his physicality that is his main signature.

            Well, he did sling a one-tonne Bearbug off the path with little or no effort, so at least I got that right :P

            This might have to be a recurring cameo. Thoughts?

    Dammit the curiosity is killing me.

      What bomb is this?

          I reckon it's Crystal Dynamics working on a horror game of some sort.

          Squenix passing the Final Fantasy license to Eidos. :P

            Actually the most interesting possibility mentioned in that thread is a Zelda game developed by Retro. That would be very surprising and very interesting.

          I'd like it to be Battlefront 3, but I doubt that's what it is...

    Coming into TAY for basically my first time in the week is like looking upon an unclimbable mountain from the base. I'm tempted to just go nope I cant do that and wait for a new mountain to start growing next week.

      but how do you know what awaits you at the top of this proverbial mountain then? the anticipation will kill you :P

      You could charter a helicopter to drop you off at the base camp, SSX-style. (Have I killed the metaphor?)

        I don't think you understand the fundamentals of snow boarding...

          That or its another example of D.C.'s patented press submit before checking coherancy of post mishap. Who can say? *presses submit before reading*

      Darn it, you missed all the TAY breaking!

    Hehe I'm with Sughly. A week away and then nearly a whole day to catch up!
    For those not on the tweetys I've been a bit ill but all good now.
    Has or is anyone playing WWE12?? Reminds me a lot of No Mercy and the character creation allows near perfect recreations of Street Fighter characters.
    Have been spending way too much time with this. I still haven't even opened Ass Rev dammit.
    oooh and of to the US again in February. Yay.
    If i get a PS3 there all i need is the power adapter right????
    Games bought here should work?

      Haven't played a good wrasslin' game in ages, I always use the character creation tool to make a copy of myself :)

      I don't know if the Slim is the same - I'm pretty sure it is - but the Phat PS3 has a universal power supply. You don't even need an adapter, you just plug a standard Australian PC-style power lead straight into the system and it'll run. The system itself is region free.

        Cheers man :)

        This. My PS3 is from the US, and I just took the power cable from my computer monitor and it works perfectly.
    This made feel reeeeeeaaaaaal good just now :)

    Friday, The 23rd of December

    We set off at six am, the pride of our fleet, the Liberty, setting forth to parley with relations in the north, to ensure goodwill for years to come. Following the Liberty, came the smaller vessel, "Laser." Both ships set forth with skeleton crews, the Liberty, captained by "Dad", with myself there to do nothing, and the Laser, sharing captaincy between my sister, Hannah, and "Mum." Our sole companion throughout the trip, Midshipman "Stereo System" regaled us with songs from his youth, the musical stylings of West End, where he grew up, as well as classic drinking songs, and the Kary Perry, gender confused songs of "One of the Boys." Heavy rain pounded us through parts of the trip, reducing progress at times to a crawl, as we struggled to maintain ourselves in the growing swell, but, at the end of the day, after long hours of driving, there we were. Ballina. As good a port as any to stop for a rest. Sadly, the brothels and pubs of such a small town closed early, and so, at 8:30pm, after struggling to find entertainment, we ate dinner, and rested for the following day.

    Saturday, the 24th of December

    An uneventful morning of sailing, where we bypassed the beautiful town of Mooball, and went straight to our destination, Pottsville. Our place of meeting? The "Grandparents" house. No sooner had I arrived when I was roped into duty. Scrubbing the deck, moving chairs, and many a coolerbox. But it was all worth it, for my sister, promoting gender equality for the next thousand years, went into the kitchen, and made me a sandwich. After finishing the delicious victory of that sandwich, I was tasked with something even more important. I had to go and meet my cousins. The inital batch had only arrived, on their ship, an enormous Galleon that easily dwarfed our Liberty. We met, down at our lodging, a roomy place it was, with a "cubby house" and trampoline, a large backyard, and across the street from a path down to the waterline. Only a small number of their family had arrived, many more were still to come, but I greeted them, as friends I hadn't seen in over a year. Time was spent unpacking their ship, and before I knew it, I had a more dreaded job.

    I had to go to Christmas Mass. My Mother, in that way she does, told me that I had a "choice," but when the options are a slap in the face, or months of torture, you know that there's only one thing you can choose. I endured the music, and standing off to the side, on my tired feet, as the packed church, filled with old people, sardines ready to become Soylent Green, I endured listening to how amazing the changes to the Catholic mass were, and how they represented at least some progressive changes to the church, and then I endured getting lost with my sister on the way back from it, only for me to point out that I wasn't lost, and her not believing me. Then, then, it was party time. Many a brew were consumed that night, as we discussed important matters of state, late into the night, and delicious flat food was consumed.

    Sunday, the 25th of December

    Christmas Day. I woke up early, though, not that early, there was no need to rush things. I was awake before most, and I discussed with my elders how restrained everyone had been, and I realised that my mother was the only person there still excited about Christmas. Gifts from Santa had been left, presented in beautiful plastic bags, and unceremoniously piled on to the table. The fourteen of us who shared our lodging, all sitting around, discussing why Santa had left us purposefully terrible movies. Sitting there, with my family though, my thoughts wandered, to you all. My other family. My third day, without access to the internet, and I was struggling. I had to endure though.

    We moved off, back to the Grandparents house. Twenty people, and potentially another depending on your opinion of abortion, and what constitutes as a person, all gathered in one place to share gifts. The Hefferan-Lee family, three members, with another on the way-ish, little Jack, the most spoiled person in the room. The Hefferan-Harrison's, two adults, eight children, with four of those only my cousins through marriage, and not all from the same one. Not to mention one extra, the plus one, as it were, for my cousin Thomas. The Hefferan-McGrath's, not that anyone would call them that, my Grandparents, still tottering around, and finally, The Hefferan-Richardson's, who are only known by the last part, my family.

    Many gifts were shared, I received a board game, which you may hear more of, two books, a water filtery thing for a country I'll never go to, and some hair ties from my sister. My uncles received Christmas Cakes from my mother, needed food for their long trips back home. Ben, my step-cousin, received an enormous pikachu toy, and some young cousins of mine gave their parents a gift that was designed for them to play(Mario Kart Wii). Many things were thrown around, many cherries were eaten on my part, and then we reited, briefly, to different parts of the house.

    Then Christmas lunch happened. I doubt that I need to describe the veritable feast of food we had, the rich tapestry that combined within our mouths and stomachs. Good times were had.

    Monday, the 26th of December

    Boxing day, a day of relaxing, and sitting about. I found myself feeling slightly ill, not from the food I had consumed, but as though some insidious being had dedicated itself to making me feel bad. Not too worried though, after lazing about for a while, a large group of us drive north, up to Tweed Heads, desperate for entertainment. There, at the Moving Pictures, we watched an adaptation of that charming Tin Tin comic, which I enjoyed, even if it did have problems. Before returning home, buckets, for the making of sandcastles were bought, as was alcohol, and Coca-Cola. As a final purchase, my sister picked up chocolate coins.

    Imagine our shock though, when we spied something within their packaging.

    There was a chocolate note. No words can even attempt to describe the disdain I felt over this. No words. They are coins for a reason.

    I spent the rest of the evening feeling increasingly sick, a feeling which is quite alien to me, as I usually feel healthier as the day goes on.

    Sleep came, the end of an interesting day, I can only assume that it was aided by alcohol.

    Tuesday, the 27th of December

    A day composed mostly of lazing about. Another person joined our cruise, Michael, the other half to my sister's life, somehow roped into meeting the family. I can only assume that my sister wished to scare him off, though that may be my cynical side talking.

    That night, the first game of Articulate, the game I received for Christmas, was played. Paired with two cousins, both from different families, much fun was had. I was aided by another cousin on a different team, and much alcohol was consumed, as we became increasingly loud as the night wore on.

    Wednesday, the 28th of December

    As part of a family tradition, my family went off to Wet & Wild. However, due to my illness I chose to pass, not wanting to risk making things any worse by repeatedly imersing myself in water on a cold day. Very little of import happened, though I did watch Babar, with Jack.

    Thursday, the 29th of December

    They say that abscence makes the heart grow stronger, while abstinence makes the arm grow stronger, and by this point I was certainly missing the internet. So long, without a chance to say hello, and have nothing interesting to say to the lot of you. My memory of here is fuzzy. Time blurs together, into a flash of colour and sensation, a mystery and enigma over what happened.

    Friday, the 30th of December

    Where am I? I'm not sure, I hear the rain, pounding down outside. I see some prawns, clearly larger than any prawn has the right to be, and I smell the delicious curry being made. Our last day there. There was still beer left to be drunk, so I started at lunch time, and was yelled at by my parents, since I needed to "pack-up" something which took all of two minutes. Two games of Articulate were played, the first ended badly, but the second, improved as we played. On a team consisting of myself, and Thomas and Callum, my two, blood related cousins, who are closest in age to me, we took a hard fought victory. After spending a large portion of the game stuck on one section, while the old folks team got stuck on their last question, the young'uns answering before they could, preventing their victory. We slowly crept up, moving almost halfway across the board, before we finally won. My technique of answering faster than most people, but speaking too quietly for most people to hear had both its advantages and disadvantages, though I still refused to yell.


    Saturday, the 31st of December

    We said our farewells, and drove of. The Liberty, crewed by "Dad," "Mum" and myself. We left the Laser to continue on its own way. The seas were calm, and so we made good progress. We stopped early, arriving in Tahree for the night, before having an early dinner at 6:30, at a quaint little place, with the mysterious name "Fish Fish Fish". Ignoring the New Years events, we went to bed, and slept.

    Sunday, the 1st of January

    A new day, a new year. Moored as it was, our vessel had gained a covering of flower blossoms, beautiful in the crisp morning light. They fluttered off deck as we accelerated, a stream of orange behind us. More uneventful sailing. Though there were a few near misses with other crafts, but even the travel through Sydney was relatively calm.

    Finally, I arrived home. To embrace the internet. To speak to you all, to find you all not there, as usual for a sunday.

    This was the tale of Cabin Boy Blaghs, on his trip to the north. An uneventful trip, if ever there was one. I aimed to add photo's to accompany this, but I'm too slack to, so instead, you get a wall of uninteresting text. Enjoy.

      Rather glorious story, dear chap. Sounded... interesting?

      We were at the same shopping centre on Boxing Day.

      We could've made out in the toilets.

        Or you know, whatever.

        You know what, I was there also on boxing day.

          So was I!

            Were you guys also making out in the toilets with DAN?

              No comment.

              Hands! Hands everywhere!

            Seriously? Because when I wandered through it, there were like 20 people, total. I was all "This is boxing day sales stuff? Wut?" So empty.

              Just think, you were probably staring RIGHT AT US at one point.

              If we're talking Tweed City has JB Hi-FI, Big W, K-Mart & Hoyts cinemas (not Centro tweed or w/e will always be Tweed Mall to me) then when I went over there was a fair few people, this was at like midday or so, when I went back over around 3 to return a dodgy headset I bought it was pretty dead. But that's cause it was a public holiday!

      This makes me happy that i chose today to TAY.
      A damn good read sir.

      Articulate is freaking awesome game. I got it for my brithday a couple of years ago and every year it gets dragged to be played with my friends on NYE. Its especially hilarious when they are are all slightly* drunk


    Anyone else screaming: "DOOOO SOMETHIIIIIING!!!!" at the Indian batters?

      Lol, sports

        They're just so confusing.

    Yay. I've only got 2GB of usage left. And I've got to get it to last till next thursday...
    Well, if I go over, at least TAY will be safe :P

      Until you get back, all twitchy and strung out, desperate for your breakage fix :P

        I'll make sure to stop by lifehacker before I come back :P

    Has there been another KKP Contributor competition in TAY? Having the prizes in two places is sorta confusing :/

      Only the truly committed Kotaku peeps will find them all!

    Oh, oh, and Hugh Jackman = meh.

    ^ ground-breaking.

      How can you say that this is meh: ??????????!!!!!!??!?!??!

        I will forever be ignorant of that chisel-jawed visage, given that YouTube is blocked in the People's Republic of China and my ability to set up a VPN is roughly on par with my knowledge of... uh... cars.

        But you could try ASCII art?

        (and meh.)

          o o

            Well that came out ALL wrong


          It's Jackman's opening from the Oscars. It's pretty amazeballs.

    Hi TAY! I'm sad because my rupee cushion insert turned out smaller then I would've liked. =( Unfortunately do to only having an A4 printer, I can't print a pattern big enough.
    It's very frustrating. D<

      Print a quarter on each page, stick together, make giant rupee, BOOM!

        Well I measured it out on illustrator and it ended up being printed on about 6 pages. It still turned out tiny. I'm not quite sure how to go about it now mainly because if I try to make the pattern without the computer it won't be completely accurate.
        I'm a bit of a perfectionist ^^;;

          Just draw it in crayon on a table. That's perfect, right?

            I wish it was. I really do

              No, wait, better idea, permanent marker on the wall!

                Mum would murder me

          Butchers paper, squares, protractors and straight edges. Now you can make a rupee bed.

            It's still quite hard because I need to keep the shape of the rupee. I could print off a picture and then try to create the seperate sections using the rupee as a template ._. I'll need to buy a square then. *doesn't have any of those things*

    Also, I was bored, so now I have a blog. My aim is to update it every week day for the rest of the month, and then to ABANDON IT FOREVER!

      You raise an excellent point Blaghman. I'm playing through Zelda and it does seem like most bosses are exactly like you said.

      Wait, last post on an old page? Now nobody will see this! EXCELLENT!


        Dearest Blaghman,

        It was foolish of you to think that.

        Scree. =D

          Dearest Scree:

          I say nobody, but I don't really mean it. If it's posted at this hour, I'd expect a few people to read it, you, if you're on, Bish, probably, and odds are that Strange will read it, though I think she may miss some night time things, though don't tell her that I said it, because now she'll read this. Some others, I'm not sure how dedicated most people are yet. It's hard to tell.

          Yours Truly,

            Dearest Blaghman,


            Yours Truly,
            Lambo Mann
            Vice President, Mann Co.
            Emperor, South Kotaku
            CEO, Parachutes-R-Us
            Stuck on an old page

              Dearest Lambomann007:

              I can't believe I forgot to add your name, how silly of me.

              Yours Truly,

            Too late, I'd already seen and bookmarked your blog before you posted not to tell me. :P

              I'm going to be using my backlog of Facebook things to pad it out, so get ready for things you might have read already!

            Blaghman, I stayed up especially late last night just to read your blog. I too am disappointed not to have gotten a mention :(

            I agree with you about boss battles. I have a handful of favourite boss battles, and they all break the mould in some way.

            Flamelurker (Demon's Souls)
            Mr Freeze (Arkham City)
            Sniper Wolf (MGS)

              To prove I understand. Two years ago, I wrote a blog lamenting overhyped boss battles. Here's the link.

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