If you’ve never seen 1979′s Starcrash, boy are you missing out. It’s basically a collection of awful special effects, Flash Gordon-style pulp science fiction, and a lot of attractive women in small bikinis and thigh-high boots. Of all the bad Star Wars clones that emerged in the wake of George Lucas’s classic, this was one of the best, and also one of the worst.
Yet, sadly, despite the wonders that you can see here, we were never blessed with a Starcrash video game.
Over the decades we’ve been subjected to scores of Star Wars games, some good, some not so great. Yet there’s been not a single adaptation of Starcrash, or as it was known in its native Italy, Scontri stellari oltre la terza dimensione. Not even a bad C64 game. Not even an iPhone cash-in. There isn’t even a Kickstarter project to cobble one together.
Released in 1978 (Star Wars was out in 1977), it’s regarded not only as a poor Star Wars clone, but as one of the worst sci-fi movies of the 20th century. Which is a bit unfair, since it’s point was not to create an epic for the ages. Its point was to put attractive women in perilous situations alongside elements from Star Wars to help make a quick buck.
A Starcrash game could easily work. The plot, while sharing similar elements from Star Wars (an imprisoned princess, a smuggler on the run, a secret weapon), takes in many more locations and features many more characters and opponents, meaning even a rudimentary platformer could have been easily slapped together and helped contribute to the great video game crash.
Like I said, if you’ve never seen it, try and track down a copy. Ignore the haters: this is sci-fi camp at its very best, and definitely worth spending a Saturday night in front of, especially if friends and beers are involved.