The Star Warsploitation Film That Deserved A Crummy Atari Game

If you've never seen 1979's Starcrash, boy are you missing out. It's basically a collection of awful special effects, Flash Gordon-style pulp science fiction, and a lot of attractive women in small bikinis and thigh-high boots. Of all the bad Star Wars clones that emerged in the wake of George Lucas's classic, this was one of the best, and also one of the worst.

Yet, sadly, despite the wonders that you can see here, we were never blessed with a Starcrash video game.

The image you're seeing above is a mock-up of what a Starcrash game could have looked like, put together by Sean Hartter and Daniel Th1rte3n.

Over the decades we've been subjected to scores of Star Wars games, some good, some not so great. Yet there's been not a single adaptation of Starcrash, or as it was known in its native Italy, Scontri stellari oltre la terza dimensione. Not even a bad C64 game. Not even an iPhone cash-in. There isn't even a Kickstarter project to cobble one together.

Released in 1978 (Star Wars was out in 1977), it's regarded not only as a poor Star Wars clone, but as one of the worst sci-fi movies of the 20th century. Which is a bit unfair, since it's point was not to create an epic for the ages. Its point was to put attractive women in perilous situations alongside elements from Star Wars to help make a quick buck.

A Starcrash game could easily work. The plot, while sharing similar elements from Star Wars (an imprisoned princess, a smuggler on the run, a secret weapon), takes in many more locations and features many more characters and opponents, meaning even a rudimentary platformer could have been easily slapped together and helped contribute to the great video game crash.

Like I said, if you've never seen it, try and track down a copy. Ignore the haters: this is sci-fi camp at its very best, and definitely worth spending a Saturday night in front of, especially if friends and beers are involved.


Comments

    Quite possibly the longest article I've seen from Luke, other than some of his retrospectives.
    Unfortunately it is an article on a game site about a camp old sci fi movie which has no ties to gaming or games, as much as he tries to disguise the fact.

      Of course it has a tie. It DOESN'T have a game made for it.

      While it doesn't have a tie to gaming, I'm glad I get to now check it out and it has the Hoff. The HOFF! It deserves to be posted everywhere.

        I was much more intruigued by Christopher Plummer. Its always funny seeing actors from great (classic) movies in horrible ones!

          To be honest I didn't take much notice of who was in it, but Hasselhoff is a pretty recognisable name even when glancing at the actors.

    What the helli s wrong with you idiots!? Don't click the effing link if you don't want to read the article. Bottom-dwelling self-realising arseholes that exist just to troll is what's wrong with the Internet. I'm sure you must go to sleep at night feeling satisfied, knowing you've saved the world for another day. So brave.

      I know I'm just feeding a troll of a different kind but if you don't like their complaining, swearing at them and deriding them from a high horse isn't going to change anything. If you don't like what they say, ignore them. But I'm sure you're sleeping well now, feeling satisfied that you've saved the world for another day by bravely slamming people with valid opinions from behind an anonymous post.

    bam 1,000 people hit their pirate bay search bar

    ... Did I just see a rocket, with two people in it, come crashing through a window from space, and everyone just carried on shooting each other?...

    Wasn't that Tony Harrison from the mighty boosh.... i know those balloon head and tentacles anywhere!!!

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