Fake Gamer Of The Week: Little Girl Who Just Found Porn On Her Brother’s DS


Oh, Little Girl Who Just Found Porn On Her Brother’s DS. I’m so sorry this happened to you. On behalf of brothers everywhere, I apologise.

When your big brother got a 3DS, you were so excited to inherit his old DS that you didn’t even think about clearing out the internal memory. Why would you? What kind of person would put porn onto his DS in the first place? Who would take the time to figure out how to do that, let alone go through with it?

And is that… a hockey puck? How did that lady even do that?

First of all: Sigh. Yes, that’s a hockey puck. I don’t know how she did it either.

Secondly, let me tell you something about 13-year-old boys. They’ll put porn just about anywhere. The space between their mattresses, the clothes hamper in the guest-room closet; these places are only the beginning. They have porn hidden in places you can’t even imagine — at least a couple of nooks and crannies around the house, taped onto the inside of mom’s furniture catalogues, digital copies hidden in repartitioned hard drives, and yes, even on their handheld gaming systems.

I’m just sorry you had to find out this way, Little Girl Who Just Found Porn On Her Brother’s DS. And furthermore, I’m sorry your brother is experimenting with NHL-themed horse-porn. Rather than attempt to tell you some of the ways it could be worse, I’ll just say that this really sucks.

And then I’ll immediately regret my choice of words.

I mean here you are, with all your friends around, in the early phases of what will surely be a really fun slumber party. You guys were going to order a pizza, maybe watch a movie.

And now you’re in a quandary, quietly wondering if you should show them your discovery or close the DS and never speak of this again.

Better take a closer look, just to be sure you’re seeing what you think you’re seeing…

Yup. That’s a horse’s leg, alright.

Image: CREATISTA/Shutterstock


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