2012 Was Like Skyrim, But With Games


It’s December. A whole year has gone by — a whole year without Skyrim. And yet it’s obvious to me — to everyone — that we are in deep Skyrim withdrawal. It’s the only way I can explain why commenters if not reviewers all over the web judge new games by gauging how much like Skyrim it is.

Hence Far Cry 3 being like ‘Skyrim with guns’ (see video above by Machinima’s Adam Kovic) or this commenter asking if the survival game Miasmata is like Skyrim without guns. Future games aren’t safe either. We can’t stop asking just how much the next Dragon Age is going to be like Skyrim.

We as video game websites meant to direct your purchasing decisions have let you down by not using Skyrim as a metric for judging all games.

But it’s OK. Here are some of the year’s biggest releases, as understood through Skyrim.

Sonic The Hedgehog 4: If Skyrim had to go fast.
Final Fantasy XIII-2: If Skyrim made no sense.
Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning: Like a Skyrim that made no money.
Soul Calibur V: If Skyrim had good combat.
Dear Esther: If Skyrim had NO combat.
Mass Effect 3: Skyrim with three choices.
Journey: If we put a scarf on Skyrim.
Fez: If Skyrim had indie cred.
The Walking Dead: If Skyrim could make you cry.
Diablo III: If Skyrim had clicking.
Max Payne 3: Skyrim with slomo that works.
Lollipop Chainsaw: If Skyrim had boobs.
Dyad: Skyrim on drugs.
Dys4ia: If Skyrim wasn’t a game.
Persona 4 Golden: Like Skyrim in Japan.
FTL: Skyrim on a spaceship.
XCOM: Like Skyrim, but Lydia dies even more easily.
007 Legends: Like the Skyrim you shouldn’t play.
Hotline Miami: Like a Skyrim where digital murder feels good.
Hitman: Absolution: Like Skyrim, but with nuns. Also guns.
Black Ops 2: If Michael Bay made Skyrim.
Assassin’s Creed III: If Skyrim had bugs co-starred George Washington.
Darksiders II: Skyrim with more mcguffins.
Super Hexagon: Skyrim with shapes.
Dragonborn: Skyrim, with more Skyrim.

I hope this helps.


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