In Real Life

Forget Wikipedia, Let Urban Dictionary Tell You About The Biggest Games

Urban Dictionary is so weird. Once, it was used mostly to define slang. But now? You can search for just about anything and it’ll have a number of amusing user-defined entries. It’s like Wikipedia, only more unruly. Here are how Urban Dictionary users are describing the biggest franchises. It’s as silly as you might expect.

Halo, as defined by user Dev

n. 1. GAME The best and most popular x-box game. Made by Bungie.

2. RELIGIOUS OBJECT a glowing ring of light surrounding Bible-era religious figures. 3. MILITARY A high altitude/low opening parachute jump, where a jumper exits the plane at around 30,000 feet and opens at around 1,000.

Let’s go play Halo for 7 hours at a sleepover!

Your halos are glowing so brightly we won’t need the lamps, that’s very nice.

Richard Marcinko pulled a textbook HALO jump yesterday.

Gears of War, as defined by user Dirty Monkey Sex

The only game on the market that lets you curbstomp people.

-Loserkid: Gears of War is so GAY!

-Cool Kid: You can curbstomp people.

-Loserkid: …Gears of War is so AWESOME!!

Call of Duty, as defined by TheGreatestManThatEverLived

An amazing way to keep your virginity

Girl: Hey, you wanna come over?

Guy: Nah im playing call of duty

Angry Birds, as defined by user PEANUT3378

During oral sex the male lifts his penis and repeatedly slaps the female in the face with his testicles.

Boy 1: Jill has two black eyes

Boy 2: Yeah heard jack gave her the Angry Birds for 2 hours

Farmville, as defined by user Faradonga

Put it like this – You have been given the gift of a human life. You exist as the most civilized and intelligent species known to man. You have the ability to conquer world wonders, discover breathtaking history and knowledge to amaze the world, secure a job with a 6 – figure salary, and you even have the ability to travel space if you work hard enough.

… But instead, you sit at your computer, harvesting virtual crops on a non-existent farm.

Guy 1: Hey, D’ya wanna -

Guy 2: FUCK OFF I’M HARVESTING MY CORN

Typical Farmville conversation.

Skyrim, as defined by user Matt…..

A highly effective form of birth control made public on Nov. 11, 2011. Despite its recent release, it is believed to be incredibly effective for periods lasting a week to 2 months once administered. Pharmaceutical company Bethesda is currently working on supplements to accompany this drug but no release dates have been set yet.

As it is still a new product its long-term effects have yet to be determined, though it is believed to not be as potent as WoW or other substances within the MMO class of drugs.

The FDA warns that this is a Schedule II drug, indicating a very high chance of addiction if not carefully monitored and regulated. Symptoms of overdose and addiction include loss of appetite, insomnia, sudden weight gain or loss, dimensia, a constant desire for more dragon souls, and the singing of Harry Partridge’s associated songs.

Billy and Cathy haven’t had sex since Skyrim came out because one of them is playing it at any given moment.

Street Fighter, as defined by user Mr. Zimpy

The act of throwing a fart in someones general direction mimicking Ken and Ryu’s power ball motion from the Street Fighter video game series. Yelling out “ryukin” during the act is optional, and preferred.

“Oh, that guy totally street fightered me. Gross.”

“If this fart comes out now, i will totally street fighter you. be prepared.”

Fallout, as defined by user Mitch Chatchsky

A state of mind one gets from playing Black Isles post apocaliptic role playing game where they eat shit and dream fallout. This person might have anything from giant gecko’s to enclave, to a dominatrix mutant, even to a crashed whale, and the nights of camelot (Nie!) on there mind at all times… These people can be extremely dangerous because the line of reality is crosses soo much, the only way to be accepted by them is to buy the game fallout, and become an addict.

::What, is your name…. what, is your quest… what, is the one charachter that has not aged since fallout one?::

::We are searching for the holy hand grenade of antioch.. do you have one::

::Do you have a geck?::

::Yes, we have plenty::

::Can I have one::

::Oh no, dont think so, then you wouldnt be able go finish your quest, goodbye::

Mass Effect, as defined by user Vallzing.

An evil game that will eat your soul if you try it.

It is for the Xbox360, and it is Evil.

-”Mass effect ate my soul.”

-”l0lw00t it are 3vul lawl!”

I’m surprised I didn’t see more people trying to pass off these games as sex positions: I feel as if that’s the perennial Urban Dictionary entry, right? Huh. Then again, many people liked to define games as a method of birth control/reason why you’re not having sex/deterrent to sex, so maybe that’s why.

Picture: Shutterstock


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