When the Xbox One launched, Microsoft tried to get clever and provide people with a pre-written sick note so they could take the day off. It wasn’t very funny, but it was harmless. Their next attempt at an Xbox One letter is a touch worse.
Called “We got your back”, it’s aimed at prospective new owners of the console, and their partners.
Here’s the letter as it first appears (UPDATE: appeared, it’s now been edited) in full:
Hey honey,
Not sure if you’ve heard, but Xbox One is now available. That means we can start playing games like Dead Rising 3. I know, I know. You’d rather do your taxes early than watch me slay zombies, but hear me out on this. Xbox One is actually for both of us. Seriously.
I put together a list of reasons why the console could benefit you and me — together and apart, but mostly together:
- Games! Maybe you don’t LOVE games like I do, but there’s really something for everyone. While I’m playing Dead Rising 3, you might like arcade games. And since you were just begging me to dance, I’m willing to play Forza Motorsport 5 just for you. It’s a win-win!
- Entertainment for both of us. You love movies and I love football. Well, with the Xbox One, we can love both. We can catch your favourite team AND check out my favourite team. Just think of all this togetherness we’re going to experience. It’s gonna be awesome!
- It will help us get fit. The console offers Xbox Fitness free with Xbox Live Gold through December 2014* so I can get the abs I’ve always dreamed of, while working out to Tracy Anderson.
- Play with others. You’ve been encouraging me to play with others and it just so happens that Xbox One has the best multiplayer service that filters out jerks. So don’t you worry. If we get an Xbox One, I’ll bemaking new friends in no time.
- We can talk on Skype with your favourite sister whom, of course, I love dearly. Heck, we can even talk to them while we watch your favourite TV show.
So what do you say? Let’s be like an awesome movie montage — just me, you, and my our Xbox One — together at last.
Xoxo,
Me
p.s. Did I mention how beautiful you are? And how I really appreciate that you love me more than anything ?
p.p.s If (or should I say when) we get Xbox One, you have dibs on the first multiplayer game that we experience together.
p.p.p.s Long story short: I really, really, really want one for the holidays — y’know… for us.
In its defence, Microsoft told Eurogamer that while “The letter is fully customisable,” (you can alter certain terms, like changing “movies” to “music”), the company “[understands] how the defaults could be perceived. We’re making changes to the letter defaults and apologise for the oversight.”
It’s kind of strange that nowhere along the approvals process for this did somebody look at those default options available say, hey, maybe this is coming across as pandering to an old stereotype of dudes with nagging girlfriends/wives who hate games?
And maybe we should make the first options that show up a little less condescending?
Like I said though, the more you play with those drop-down terms the more you can change its tone and meaning, so it won’t take much work on Microsoft’s part to fix this.
UPDATE – OK, it’s been changed. There are now no default options displayed. For reference as to how easy it was to change things, and how different the thing could have been with just a little work, here’s a letter I made using some of the…other choices. It no longer comes across as condescending. It just comes across a little…strange.
Hey Dread Lord,
Not sure if you’ve heard, but Xbox One is now available. That means we can start playing games like LocoCycle. I know, I know. You’d rather eat the skin of 12-day-old pudding than watch me get sweaty, but hear me out on this. Xbox One is actually for both of us. Seriously.
I put together a list of reasons why the console could benefit you and me — together and apart, but mostly together:
Games! Maybe you don’t LOVE games like I do, but there’s really something for everyone. While I’m playing Skylanders SWAP Force, you might like old school classic games. And since you were just begging me to shoot hoops, I’m willing to play Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag just for you. It’s a win-win!
Entertainment for both of us. You love football and I love football. Well, with the Xbox One, we can love both. We can catch your favourite team AND check out my favourite team. Just think of all this togetherness we’re going to experience. It’s gonna be awesome!
It will help us get fit. The console offers Xbox Fitness free with Xbox Live Gold through December 2014* so you can get the stunning pectorals I’ve always dreamed of, while working out to Tracy Anderson.
Play with others. You’ve been encouraging me to meet people from other cultures and it just so happens that Xbox One has the best multiplayer service that doesn’t make me wait in lobbies. So don’t you worry. If we get an Xbox One, I’ll be spending less time in the bathroom in no time.
We can talk on Skype with your creepy uncle whom, of course, I love dearly. Heck, we can even talk to them while we watch your favourite sporting event.
So what do you say? Let’s be like an awesome movie montage — just me, you, and my our Xbox One — together at last.
Xoxo,
Me
p.s. Did I mention how handsome you are? And how I really appreciate that you sing me to sleep?
p.p.s If (or should I say when) we get Xbox One, you have dibs on the first Skype call that we experience together.
p.p.p.s Long story short: I really, really, really want one for the holidays — y’know… for us.
— — — — — — — — — — —
We Got Your Back [Microsoft]
Comments
16 responses to “Xbox One Letter Needs Some Changes”
Another company bowing to the pressure of the over-zealous PC brigade. Great. Really looking forward to a time when no one can make jokes about anything ever.
‘over-zealous PC brigade’ But they’re making consoles!
boom, boom, crash
Ba dum tish!
Yeah, why WON’T those women just stay in the kitchen and let us play games!
I think you can still joke about anything…. as long as it’s funny. If they did ANY market research on this campaign I think they would find this is not the case before it was even put out.
Didn’t really seem like over-zealous PC. I found the second letter much more amusing, so I would have thought the lack of default options is a change for the better.
If they were really marketing the console as an all-in-one entertainment system for the whole family, it doesn’t really make sense for them to target the letter to a particular gender anyway.
What I meant is ‘those people’ (you know the ones, ready to get offended by anything and everything) are having an effect on deciding what people are allowed to talk/joke about by putting pressure on people who say and do things they deem to be ‘offensive’ even when it’s not, and companies trying to save face bow to this pressure and give power to these idiots.
I do agree though that this letter is a bit of a weird move considering they are trying to make it an all-in-one, family friendly… uh… thing.
You’re ‘allowed’ to talk/joke about whatever you want. And other people are ‘allowed’ to feel offended and raise their concerns. Companies are also ‘allowed’ to ignore the issue entirely if they want.
Welcome to true freedom, where you are free to do anything and everything you want, and other people are free to impose consequences on you for doing so.
Not sure if sarcastic or not?
How are people free to impose consequences on me because I don’t think the same as them? Isn’t that the opposite of freedom…?
This is true, but it also ignores the peer pressure tactics that ignorant masses use to blackmail people/companies into backing down in the face of there belief structure. Just because a whole heap of idiots believe something doesn’t mean it’s right for them to throw their collective weight around to selfishly get what they want and thereby impose their beliefs on others forcibly.
My favourite part of this article was all the link-backs.
Did the single word ‘for’ really needed to be linked to another article?
Dear Luke,
Stop _____ yourself.
– embarrassing
– touching
Signed,
Me.
Logged in to post about this too. Was it really needed to relink back into this same article constantly?
The links all point back to this article. They seem to be the words you can change in the form letter on Microsoft’s site, where they are link elements with some Javascript attached to let you change the content.
When he copied the text over to this article, the link tags remained without the JS.
Bit harsh lol.. Not like anyone backlinks to the same article its in on purpose as this would do nothing for SEO purposes.
There’s a reason for what comes up as the first option when Googling this guy.