Nowadays many video game ads are loud, in-your-face, and teeth-grittingly serious. Back in the day, though, developer id Software made the original Quake — an unabashedly gore-spattered first-person shooter — look like the perfect Christmas present for grandma and the whole (weirdly creepy) family.
Courtesy of imgur user Paperkut, these Quake magazine ads from the ’90s are shotgun blasts of hyperbole and absurdity. They’re wildly inaccurate, but that’s kinda the whole point. “The most important PC game ever,” they trumpet. “Quake is good for you.” Just like Quake sweaters, Quake at your wedding, and grandma’s homemade Quake pie.
I’m not entirely surprised people are digging up these gems. I mean, this was the era in which John Romero infamously promised to /”make you his bitch” with Daikatana. Over-the-top, almost campy ‘tude was the language of the day back then.
I think back on it, though, and ads like this aren’t entirely wrong. No, not the John Romero thing, but I did bond with my dad over Warcraft II when I was, like, six or seven years old. I attribute a lot of my lifelong love of video games to that, actually.
I don’t think people should raise their kids on a steady diet of violent video games or anything, but maybe there’s something to be said for the family that slays together? Or maybe I’m just way overthinking this. Probably the latter. Look, silly video game ads!
Comments
12 responses to “‘Quake Is Good For You’”
My what gigantic hand you have, groomma.
After my parents split up I would go to my dad’s once a fortnight on the weekend and we started playing co-op Quake together .. was definitely a bonding moment (and also frustrating because he would always “accidently” gib me). Thanks id !
I remember my family coming together over video game LAN parties. We’d be set up all weekend in half the house. My friends would go home about 5am Saturday morning and I’d play on with my sisters, mum and dad before my friends came back in the arvo.
It only happened a few times but I felt like there was more bonding there than at any useless family picnic.
I remember that wedding cover! Wow! Good to see it again haha.
Is that Brian Cranston in the first picture?
I AM the danger… in Quake.
lol! That’s exactly why I clicked on the article!
What is this witchcraft? How many Witness protection programes did Walter go through??
Quake World, dial-up, 300+ pings, grenade rape = win!
Haha, time to get the old ladies in the family knitting Quake jumpers for me and the kids for X-Mas!
I still have the original CD version of Quake in my pile of games.
It would probably require some sort of sorcery to get running on a modern PC.
Put it in a cd player and its a nin album. If I remember correctly.
And a damn good album too. What a great game! So many memories of LANs and dial up multiplayer.
Quakeworld and QWTF. Happy memories!