Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

Many things happen over the course of your adventures in The Witcher 3. Some are forgettable. Most are far from it.

Here, then, is an objective and comprehensive list of…ah, who am I kidding, here’s a massive list of the things I loved most from a game I love so damn much.

USE YOUR WITCHER SENSE TO AVOID MASSIVE SPOILERS

(Note: I say Everything* in the headline because while I have opinions on almost everything in the game, from Dwarven Ale to NPC lines like “another drifter in from Temeria”, I don’t want to keep you here all day. This, then, is just the best stuff.)


52. The Wind


51. Combat finishers

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

50. Getting a magic, Bloodborne-esque shovel.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

49. Ciri’s combat moves.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

48. Talking demon animals

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

47. Snow dates with Yenn

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

46. Gettin’ wild at the hot springs

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

45. The word “Noonwraith”

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

44. Getting sucked inside a painting and mercy-killing a ghost.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

43. Lighting

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

42. Suicidal explosives experts

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

41. Chatting with a corpse, and a very angry werewolf.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

40. Murder mysteries.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

39. Unicorn sex

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

38. Ain’t no party like a giant murderous bear party.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

37. Joining the theatre.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

36. Joining the circus.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

35. Gettin’ blind drunk, stealing Yen’s clothes and making magic prank calls.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

34. Beating the devil at his own game

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

33. THIS FUCKIN’ LIL’ GUY

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

32. “Thanks bunches”


31. Lighting

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

30. Puss-peepers (vid source)


29. The view from Kaer Trolde

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

28. Stealing a kiss with Triss

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

27. Sidequests that directly reference the decisions you made in the main storyline.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

26. Cheery loading screens

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

25. The taxman

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

24. Skellige

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

23. Awkward boat sex.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

22. Hiking up to enjoy the views around Kaer Morhen

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

21. The epic final fights

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

20. Saying goodbye to an old friend.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

19. Shani

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

18. Lighting

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

17. This guy

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

16. Johnny

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

15. The vulnerability and wickedness of “The Bloody Baron”.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

14. An entire sidequest built solely around cheese jokes.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

13. Everything about the breathless, epic siege of Kaer Morhen

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

12. Novigrad

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

11. Letting a horny ghost possess you, who then gets his drink on, dances around and tries to get you both laid.


10. Geralt the poet (vid source)


9. Exploring the very ends of the world

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

8. “This is very romantic”.


7. Cerys.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

6. The complexity and sweetness of Geralt & Yenn’s relationship

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

5. Finding Ciri.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

4. Becoming an inter-dimensional astronaut and literally travelling to an alien planet.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

3. The Tower of Mice. Just…holy shit.


2. Throwing a baby in an oven.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

1. The “Good Dad” ending.

Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked

The Cheapest NBN 1000 Plans

Looking to bump up your internet connection and save a few bucks? Here are the cheapest plans available.

At Kotaku, we independently select and write about stuff we love and think you'll like too. We have affiliate and advertising partnerships, which means we may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. BTW – prices are accurate and items in stock at the time of posting.

Comments


7 responses to “Everything* In The Witcher 3, Ranked”