Look at this little boy’s face. He is the saddest little gamer who ever gamed. What sort of video game does this to a child?
While I was trying to find a way for my children to entertain themselves that doesn’t involve iPads, I performed an Amazon search for “safe trampolines”. And though I determined via user reviews that there are no safe trampolines and they should only be purchased for children you hate, my Facebook feed has become a never-ending advertisement for the Springfree Trampoline.
That’s where I saw the video the still above was taken from. I’ve watched it several times now, weighing my need to enclose my children in protective netting against my lack of a spare $1400 or more to spend and overall concerns about the integrity of their limbs. Every time I watch it, this little boy breaks my heart.
I keep trying to imagine what’s on the screen that’s crushing him so. It’s something PlayStation 3-ish, so I hopped over to Gamerankings to browse the worst games for that system.
Several of the worst-reviewed games on the list might elicit such a reaction from a seasoned gamer, but most of these would at least have younger children paying attention. Look at the first and fourth child on the couch. Whatever is being played has either bored or upset them to the point that they have lapsed into a sort of fugue state. I’d say Kung Fu Rider, but none of the children have PlayStation Move controllers.
Maybe the sadness has nothing to do with the game. Maybe it’s a mechanical failure. The boy in the middle is trying to play a game with a controller that is not connected, while the child on the far left is holding one that is. Note the red light.
Or maybe they’re just all sitting on a couch in front of a video camera with an adult telling them to look as bored or disappointed as humanly possible while text about kids spending too much time looking sad on a couch scrolls along the bottom of the screen.
Nah, that couldn’t be it. Maybe they are playing Amy. Or maybe the boy in the middle stumbled upon his parents’ media server and found a video that proves Sparky isn’t living on a farm in the country where he can play with other happy puppies all day long.
Some good has come of this Springfree video. After watching it a dozen or so times, I’ve decided that I will only let my children play video games that make them happy, at least until they’re old enough to make that decision for themselves. That, and I’m double password protecting my media server.
As for the saddest gamer ever, do not worry. He is in a better video shot now.
Comments
25 responses to “What Game Could Possibly Make A Kid This Sad?”
Battletoads.
Nah, that still made me happy as a kid. Was one of my favorite games.
WTF?
I can’t even….
I literally can’t even.
I think these kids were reading this article.
‘Image from Stock Photo Catalogue Intrigues Blogger – Editorial Piece Ensues’.
No, I know what the picture is from. They’re playing Dark Souls, and all the bored kids on the couch can’t get their turn to play until the kid with the gamepad beats the Belfry Gargoyles. And he’s embarrassingly bad at it.
Not even a link to the video?
Edit: Never mind, it was buried further down the article. Here it is for others who can’t find it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrW67pGKoHQ
Maybe they’re not playing a game at all. Maybe they look so crushed and disappointed because they WERE playing a game and having fun doing so. Then their dad came along and turned it off and told them to get their arses outside and play on the damn trampoline that he just spent all that money on.
He’s crying because he knows he’s about to go outside and won’t be playing his favourite games for a while.
Second photo: “5 mins trampoline time and you can go back to your game”
I played Time and Eternity. It came very close to making me cry from just how plain awful it was.
At least Time and Eternity tried its best and failed. Did you ever play Last Rebellion? NISA’s CEO later actually apologized for localizing it.
No I didn’t. I think I did see it a few times at my local EB Games, usually on the specials table. I was curious but never grabbed it. Glad to hear I dodged a bullet there.
The far left? from my point of view it would be the far right, unless I live in some sort of crazy alternate reality.
they’re probably playing This War Of Mine: The Little Ones
Kid with the controller could see no good decisions to make, so made the ‘least worst’ decision.
The kids with judgmental looks on their faces did not agree with his decision.
“Another settlement needs our help!”
playing Pax Corpus using the 60GB PS3’s backwards compatibility.
Aren’t they sad from not being able to bounce on a springless trampoline? So they have to play a crummy COD shooter or something.
Kingdom Hearts, cos THE FEELS!
Buy a normal trampoline without nets. Did you die on one? No. Then your children wont.
I fell off one a few times and it fucking hurt (no broken bones though so it was all good in the end).
@decoy
Bike Mice From Mars
I think you misread the title. It says “Sad” and not “thrilled, exhilarated, elevated, animated, enlivened, electrified, stirred, moved”
touche
lmao