Over the weekend, Nintendo unveiled the full list of mini-games in Super Mario Party. Some of them have stranger themes than others.
The mini-games were listed on Nintendo’s Japanese site, and because of how the site is designed Google can’t translate the names of each of the games. So I’ve come up with some of my own. (The descriptions are unaffected though.)
Arse Punching
Penguin Kidnapping
A game about rounding up poor child penguins, lost and alone. Mario Party really is a brutal world.
Fruit Stabbing
A rhythm game about stabbing fruit at the right time. Everyone gets slightly different timings after the first round. Why this is a thing on top of all the other rhythm games that are already in Super Mario Party befuddles me, but whatever.
Rhythm Baseball
Case in point: same game as above. But it’s baseball, so it’s instantly better than piercing fruit.
Aggressive Selfie Game
Where you pretend to be the average Sydney morning commuter, elbowing other people out of the way, but you’re actually happy about it.
Window Scrubbing
Ahh, House Work: The Mini Game.
The Steak Game
This mini-game is actually awesome, but the way Chrome advertises it is a bit too funny.
Popcorn Collecting
Times are tough in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Watch Waluigi Hump A Pole
Can never accuse Waluigi of not putting his back (or knees) into it.
Staff Breakfast
Where everyone goes for the pancakes and only one person actually gets the amount of pancakes that they want.
Fuck The Drought
A game where everyone tries to waste as much water as they can before watering the flower.
You Broke Your Camera Lens: The Mini-Game
What happens when you drop a nice camera lens and have to fuck around with the manual focus because you can’t afford to have it fixed.
Creeper Simulator
How many times can you touch a creature when they’re sleeping without waking them up?
Find The Large And Fast Vibration
Mario Tennis: Beat The Bachelor
Would have made for interesting Mario Tennis Aces DLC, that’s for sure.
There’s a ton of other mini-games, including another 40 rhythm games, but those are the ones that stood out the most. We’ll find out how they all actually play on October 5, when Super Mario Party launches on the Switch. Personally, I can’t wait to Punch the Butt.
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