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If Football — that is, the American National Football League football — used the same naming scheme as “Dungeons & Dragons”, we’d call it “Beer Commercials & Cheerleaders”. Like dungeons and dragons, beer commercials and cheerleaders are two things that not everyone likes. They are also, however, not The Point of their respective games: they are simply nouns which evoke an atmosphere. You either buy into that atmosphere body and soul — or you don’t.
I’ve been writing for Kotaku, off and on, since 2007. I’ve been reading it longer than that. One of the accounts I follow on Twitter (follow me!) begs me to not read the comments on blogs. Of course, I don’t listen, and that is why my head is crammed with weird shards of anecdotal evidence that are as bring-uppable at board meetings as they are at dinner tables. “More people I know of walked out of ‘Django Unchained’ during the ‘dogs’ scene than the ‘hammer’ scene, I reckon”; etc. The “people I know of” part means “internet commenters”.
Final Fantasy VII‘s Wikipedia entry is 6596 words. The Wikipedia entry for William Shakespeare is 5999 words. Let’s apply One-Hundred-Point Scale Internet Video Game Website Score Logic to these two word counts: if we were giving Final Fantasy VII a 10, Shakespeare’s collected works would score a 9.7.
Allow me to apologise, on the behalf of all game developers, for the 2012 Electronic Entertainment Expo. I don’t have time to read every piece of periodical published on the subject. The few articles I have scanned, however, point to a general consensus that this year’s E3 was a sort of bloodbath Roman Carnival of depraved screaming, screeching and shrieking.
The 2012 Consumer Electronics Show has come and gone, and still no smell-o-vision inventor has stepped forward to wave the flag violently enough.
I was designing a user interface for someone else’s social game the other day, and I was completely oblivious that I’d just recommended a feature that Just Would Not Do.
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword is my one of my favourite games released in 2011. Here’s why I hate it.