The Vomit Bullet Train Ride Home
Posted by Brian Ashcraft at 11:40 PM on September 26, 2007
To: Crecente
From: Bash
RE:
Finally back in Osaka. Monday and Tuesday were spent "recovering". By Monday, my body seriously shut down. I'm really happy with our TGS coverage this year and felt that I pushed myself to my physical limits, operating and a few hours sleep every night. Good times.
When I caught the bullet train in Shinagawa, found an empty seat next to a reasonably plain women in her late teens or early twenties. She had three open boxes of Tokyo Banana cakes resting on the table tray in front of her. Like I said, she was reasonably plain and bit her fingernails incessantly, but seemed to put a great deal of effort into her outfit — not uncommon in Japan. She would open the box of cakes, look inside and then put them back on the tray. This was repeated for the first twenty minutes of the trip.
I, however, put my boxed meal I bought at the station on my tray table and proceeded to eat. She watched me through the pitch black reflection in the passenger train window. Halfway through my dinner, she opened three banana cakes, stuffed them in her face and took at swing of water. She then reached down with those chewed nails and picked up an extra Tokyo Banana bag that had been stuff in — you know, in case she was going to give one of those boxes to someone. She held the bag close to her face with those chewed nails and threw up. Repeatedly.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"I'm fine. Please don't worry."
She threw up again. I picked at my boxed meal, unable to finish it. I turned my head the opposite direction, towards the aisle and fell into a heavy sleep. The sour smell of vomit filled my nose.
When I woke up, sometime after Nagoya, she was gone, cakes, bags and all.
The rest of my trip was spent flipping through Matt Alt's Hello, Please! and trying to finish my dinner. I couldn't. I just couldn't.
What you missed:
Halo 3 hurts XBL
Milla on game movies
Halo 3 might makes Microsoft Game Group money
Haruhi wrapped in adult video plastic

Microsoft are running a charity auction on eBay. They're running it right now. It's billed as THE ULTIMATE HALO 3 PACKAGE, and over-excitement aside, they're probably right. It contains more Halo stuff than you could point a Halo 3-themed stick at, including a Halo 3 360 (signed by Bill Gates), a 360 HD-DVD drive, the entire Halo 3 trilogy (the special editions, of course), some controllers, some figures, blah blah blah. Whatever. None of that crap matters. What matters is that included in the pack is a Halo 3 Zune. A Halo 3 Zune signed by former Xbox pin-up boy, current Zune visionary and 
Shortly before I left for the Tokyo Game Show, my "fixed" Xbox 360
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In 2006, the Sex Pistols "politely declined" to be present when they were inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
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It's After Dark, and the kids are asleep, let's hope. Earlier this month, we posted a freaky Lucky Star porn that featured a cosplaying actress in a vacuum bed. Apparently, also anime and upcoming PSP/PS2/Wii game adaptation Haruhi Suzumiya gets the same treatment with The Compression of Haruhi. There is a clip after the jump of the vacuum compression. It's freaky NSFW and might make some squeamish. Very, very squeamish.
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Let's face it: Square Enix makes Japanese RPGs, and that's about it. Sure, not the most diverse portfolio, but hey, it pays the bills and some people like those games. But with Japan in its back pocket, Square Enix wants the American market, and it wants it bad. Says Square Enix senior vice-president Michiro Sasaki:
And finally, the PSP shows signs of life! At least in Japan. And in direct contrast to
Whew! It's been a rough couple of weeks. And after every big event, a new flood of commenters appear. While we do welcome the new folks, we also want to warn them. We ban here at Kotaku. Ban like crazy. So please do not confuse our comment sections with your run-of-the-mill forum, boards, blah blah. Next Monday (October 1st) is our favourite Kotakaday, Ban Monday. We are always open to ban submissions, but next Monday the ban sensitivity on the Hammer will be turned up max. Here's how it works: Send us the commenter page for anyone that should get the axe. If we agree (even slightly), we'll swing. And swing hard. Though! No ban gloating. Gloating leads to Ban Hammer backfire, which could cause you to get the boot. Tuesday we'll be back better, lighter, strong and faster. Onward!
As of right now, there's no specified platform for TimeSplitters 4. It could be on PC, it could be on DS, it could be a mobile game. But really, going on the history of the series, you'd imagine it'd appear on PS3, and going on the way the market's looking these days, you'd imagine it'd also appear on 360. And the Wii? It's also in the fold, Free Radical's David Doak saying:
See that picture? That's what I look like when I'm hung over and don't bathe. And I think I'm still in my pyjamamas. During that blur that was TGS, Dan Orlowitz from
For all their pluckiness and sticktuitiveness, Microsoft's games group aren't in the business of making money. They lose money, have lost millions over the years, and are still losing money. That is, until Halo 3. Goldman, Sachs & Co. analysts are predicting that the game's release may have pulled in $US 170 million, which is so much cash it may actually see the group turn a profit. Which would be good news for them, but better news for us: I can only imagine how excited that press release is going to be.
As Milla Jovovich steps into the role of Alice for Resident Evil: Extinction, the actress explains how to tread that line of making a success film adaptation and not pissing off gamers — well, not too much. Games are just good movie fodder, they are "perfect" says Jovovich. According to the actress:
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In the white noise that was the Tokyo Game Show, our Guild Wars: Eye of the North contest got lost in the shuffle. So! Here's a reminder: We've got one copy of Guild Wars: Eye of the North to give away. And hey, this is the last expansion for Guild Wars until the second one comes out! So, here's the contest. Send us an email to kotakucontestATgmail.com with the subject line of GWEN. That's it. The 700th one we get wins the game. Yes, it's that easy.
While Americans and Koreans sun themselves from the collective glare bouncing off their shiny, whopping 80GB PS3s, other parts of the world make do with 60GB models. Japan, surprisingly, is one of them, but Japan's Corporate News are reporting that might not be for much longer, Kaz Hirai saying that Sony are considering "boosting" the Japanese model's HDD capacity, and also that they'll take user requests into account when making the decision. Japanese readers, if you're going to fire off a request to Sony, try and keep it sensible, OK? The thing's expensive enough as it is, it doens't need a gagillion-billion GB HDD. That would be silly.
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Valve might (MIGHT) consider doing away with their episodic model for future titles. You may remember they instituted the plan for their series of Half-Life 2 expansions. You may also remember the first of these appearing in April 2006, with the second only scheduled to arrive later this year. Those are long waits for short games, and Gabe Newell says they'll be taking stock of your thoughts on the subject once Episode 3's done: 



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