To: Crecente
From: Bashcraft
RE: A Reckoning

Excerpt from tonight's conversation with my son:

Mini-Bash: (coloring in a coloring book) What happened to mommy's penis?
Me: Huh?!
Mini-Bash: What happened to mommy's penis?
Me: Mommy doesn't have a penis. She's a girl. Girls don't have them.
Mini-Bash: Did it fall off?
Me: She never had one.
Mini-Bash: Did it fall off because she didn't take good care of it?

What you missed last night
Bionic Commando Trailer
Apple opens iPhone
Three smart Phil Harrison quotes
Rat Race lacks wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
BC is "secondary"
40GB press release.

They'd been quiet for so long we thought they'd gone. Gone and crashed into the side of a mountain. Eaten alive by a pack of hungry Argentinian footballers. But no! They were just on a between-seasons break. And now OneLifeLeft, Britain's (Europe's? The world's?) most bearable gaming podcast, is back. Good times are back in style.

Keep. Them. COMING. Reader Jeremiah sends in this nightmarish Pikachu pumpkin, which he's christened Pumpkichu:

So my son is a certified Poke'holic and this Pumpkichu is part of the treatment -that is, if we're cruel enough to let him watch it rot. Are we that cruel? Probably not. We like Pumpkichu.

So! We're doing a bandage cosplay contest. Meaning? If you have toilet paper, you can enter. If you have band-aids, you can enter. Just cover yourself in bandage, and you are good to go. YES, IT'S THAT SIMPLE. The deadline for the contest is October 23rd. Send your entries to kotakucontestATgmailDOTcom. And remember, you aren't just playing for a DS game. Oh, no. You are playing for INTERNET FAME. Onwards!
Dementium [Official Site]

Toshiyuki Takagi's popular locked room flash titles are coming to Japanese DSes this December for ¥2500 (US $22) on Success's SuperLite2500 label. The DS cartridge will feature Takagi's Crimson Room, Viridian Room, Blue Chamber and White Chamber. Those who are impatient or cheap, good news! All those are still available online free of charge via his official site. Right here, actually. You can totally play them!
Crimson Room [Famitsu via Insert Credit]

Well hello there Mr. I've-got-the-gun-from-Portal-in-HL2. Aren't you special, with your gun from Portal, your Half-Life 2 story mode and your fancy pants. It's not like HL2 wasn't already the bestest FPS ever made, you just had to go and make it betterer.
Half-Life 2: Portal [Primotech]

For those who enjoy reading press releases, we've got *gasp* a press release! Make that the full release about the non-BC 40GB PLAYSTATION 3 that is slated for North America. It's out November 2nd. Alright, who's buying?

Release after the jump.

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Microsoft's Larry Hryb (above) chats with CheapyD in a recent CAG podcast. Highlights:
• Larry owns his popular community "bridge" site.
• There is a 100 friend limit on XBL is set in the system and cannot be increased. The average of number of friends for XBL users is 24. There are plans to better manage your friend's list.
• About his missing passport: "I was soooo upset I couldn't go to sumo with CheapyD... More importantly you had Crecente fill in my role at sumu." Yes, sumu.
• Larry says "vagina clown". Out loud. At least twice.
Listen to Larry [CAG]

Show of hands who had their Halo 3 bonus disc all scratched up by the crummy tin box. One, two, three... OK, thousands of you. For those yet to see the surprisingly watchable documentary (no volleyball!) or, worse still, finish the fight, your two week wait is over. The replacement discs have started turning up at homes, and while the new soft, beige packaging might not be as easy on the eye as a dark metal tin, it has done a better job of delivering functioning game discs to your 360 console.

[thanks Jason!]

Starting March 2008, Toshiba is the proud new owner of Sony's microprocessor and graphic chip production facilities. Toshiba, Sony and Sony Computer Entertainment will set up a joint venture to run the Nagasaki "Cell" microprocessor output plant next April. The price hasn't been set yet, but it's likely to be over US $858 million. Previously, Sony said it planned to cut back on chip spending and possibly might not produce advanced 45-nanometer "Cell" chips. Under this new partnership, Toshiba and Sony will cooperate in producing 45-nm "Cell" chips. This is the last year of CEO Howard Stringer's aggressive plan to cut non-core business. Sony spokesperson Daichi Yamafuji assures that gaming consoles are still one of Sony's core businesses.

Cell Plants to be Sold [Reuters]

BioWare make top-shelf games. This, I'd like to think we all knew. What few of us outside the company don't know is how super-great a place it is to work. It's so super-great, in fact, it's been named one of Canada's top 10 employers. And not just in the games industry, across all industries. The list was compiled by the swank Financial Post, and is designed to reward companies "who offer the most progressive and forward-thinking programs". Great games AND a great workplace... coincidence? The great architect, who speaks through me, says... no.

BioWare a Top Canadian Employer [Next-Gen]

Do you feel that? It's the new sensation that's sweeping the nation. That's right, gaming pumpkins! Model citizen Jamison sent us not one (oh, no), but two Jack-o'-Lanterns. He writes:

My girlfriend made this great set of two pumpkins featuring Katamari and the Prince! Hope it tickles your fancy!

Eds Note: Got gaming pumpkins? Send them to tipsATkotakuDOTcom.

Just in case, you know. Didn't know. A Syracuse University study, which involved taking 100 people and splitting them into four gaming groups, has found MMOs suck up waaaay more time than any other genre. Of the 100, 25 were given a copy of... Gauntlet: Dark Legacy on PS2. 25 were given Diablo II on PC. 25 were given tokens for the local arcade. And the final 25 were given subscriptions for MMO Dark Age of Camelot.

After a month, the Dark Age players were spending an average of 14.4 hours gaming, more than double the time the next group, Team Diablo II, were spending. As an added bonus, they also reported poorer sleep patterns, poorer health and "were more likely to find the games interfered with their studies and social lives". Interesting results, but would've been nice seeing other MMOs taken into account. I'd like to think the negative side-effects of a Star Wars: Galaxies subscription wouldn't be so adverse.

[AP Press Release]

Blathers? On a pumpkin? But fire at night attracts insects! And Blathers hates insects! Oh, the cruelty! He's the work of Dan & Julie, who write:

Take heed, will you, of kindly Blathers By Night. Some of the details actually came out ok, but his checkerboard cumberbun (or whatever it is) was a biotch to carve.

And just in time for Christmas! Bet you didn't see that coming. The 40GB PLAYSTATION 3 will go on sale November 2nd, which is before the console drops in Japan (November 11th), but after Europe (October 10th). No word whether America will be getting the Ceramic White version that will go on sale in both Japan and Korea. The 40GB version will retail for $US 400, while the 80GB version will get a hundred price cut from $US 600 to $US 500. The 40GB PLAYSTATION 3 will not be able to play PS2 games — unlike previous versions of the consoles, which either featured BC or gimped BC. Addressing this issue, Sony Computer Entertainment of American honcho Jack Tretton remarked:

We're choosing to focus on the PlayStation 2 consumer with the PlayStation 2, which remains incredibly relevant, and focus on the PlayStation 3 consumer with the new 40-gigabyte model and the great software coming out... Backward compatibility is a nice secondary consideration, but it's far from the number-one priority.

40GB Coming [Reuters]

The episodic adventure on a console thing? Great idea! Everything else? Not so great. Awful, even. Or maybe even worse than that. This might be the worst thing ever, I don't know, I'll have to dig through the archives and check.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl is compatible with four different types of controls: Wii Remote and Nunchuk, Classic Controller, GameCube Controller and Wii Remote turned on its side. Above is the button layout for the last option. It's pretty great that Nintendo is providing players with so many options. Though, I think I'm going to stick with the GC Controller thank-you-very-much. You?

How to Use Wii-mote [Smash Bros. DOJO!! via Infendo]

Please, stop e-mailing us about the Japanese sales chart position of DS Nishimura Kyotaro Suspense Shin Tantei Series: Kyoto Atami Zekkai no Kotou - Satsui no Wana. We're well aware that you're all fans of Tecmo's Nishimura Kyotaro Suspense Shin Tantei Series, but numbers don't come in until late Wednesday night from Media Create, so we simply can't answer your questions until then. Yes, it placed well in this week's sales charts, beating out last week's retail champ Dragon Ball Z: Sparking! Meteor by a wide margin. Exciting, isn't it? Yes, it is.

Hey, look! Lair showed up on this week's chart, too! Wave to it as it passes by. More ordered lists after the jump.

01. DS Nishimura Kyotaro Suspense Shin Tantei Series: Kyoto Atami Zekkai no Kotou - Satsui no Wana (DS) - 61,000 / NEW
02. Dragon Ball Z: Sparking! Meteor (PS2) - 47,000 / 251,000
03. Gundam Battle Chronicle (PSP) - 28,000 / 114,000
04. Pokémon Mysterious Dungeon: Time Expedition Party (DS) - 26,000 / 502,000
05. Arcana Heart (PS2) - 23,000 / NEW
06. Pokémon Mysterious Dungeon: Shadow Expedition Party (DS) - 22,000 / 440,000
07. Lair (PS3) - 22,000 / NEW
08. ASH: Archaic Sealed Heat (DS) - 17,000 / 67,000
09. KanKen DS 2 + Jouyou Kanji Jiten (DS) - 16,000 / 67,000
10. Flash Focus: Vision Training in Minutes a Day (DS) - 16,000 / 631,000

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As far as tall bald guys in suits go, Sony Computer Entertainment Worldwide Studios President Phil Harrison seems alright. Sure, he's said some stupid things. But, he's also said a few clever things. Take his recent interview with Playboy in which he talks about how disc based games and download titles can co-exist, how he used to get embarrassed telling girls about his job and what he would change if he had a magical wand. His answers are refreshing, surprising and most importantly not dumb. Hit the jump for those three quotes.

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Interesting interview up over at GameDaily.biz, where they're chatting with Sony Pictures executive, the magnificently-named Yair Landau. Who's in charge of Sony Pictures Entertainment and Sony Pictures Digital. And is also a big, big gamer. They cover a bit of stuff, most of it to do with the relationship between movies and games, but perhaps the most interesting is when he's asked why movies based on games are so shitty:

At its core, a video game experience is a personal experience where you are the character and your imagination drives the activity. A story experience is one in which we have created a compelling character for you to watch. Most video games don't have, at their core, a great character that you want to see do something. They have an experience that you want to do yourself.

Can't get enough Jaffe? We can't! Newsweek's N'Gai Croal has posted the second part of his interview with the outspoken God of War creator. Jaffe is totally honest. How honest? This honest:

Croal: You're very connected in the industry, you've worked with a number of people and you've met a number of people over the years. Do you get a sense that the concerns that you had about the remuneration to people in your position relative to the remuneration to the publishers is a growing concern among creative people in the industry?

Jaffe: Gee, here's the good news—and I hope it comes through in your writing how honest I am—I could either stall you while I look up "remuneration" or I could just ask you what the hell it means, because I have no clue.

Croal: Well, it just means "payment." You know, like the money coming back to you.

Jaffe: Okay, so ask me again.

Jaffe Part II [Level Up]

So you want to play Shivering Isles on your PS3?

PlayStation 3? Check. RPG fever? Check.

Live in the States? No? Well if you did, you could be playing it right now.

As usual, Australia is a little behind the curve. The good news is Ubisoft has snapped up the Oz distribution rights for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - Game of the Year Edition (which includes Shivering Isles). Bad news is we'll be waiting until December for it, and we don't have a specific date or pricing info. What we do have are two screenshots.

Hit the jump to not only bask in their dualness, but for the press release also.

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Steve Jobs, has gone and opened up the iPhone and iPod Touch for developers. Previously, the platforms had been closed. Locked up, in order to keep them "safe". No longer! Starting in February both devices will be open to Joe Public, meaning third-party programs and applications will start raining down like cats, dogs and men. Yeah, most will be rubbish apps none of us will ever find, let alone use, but it also means more games, readers. It means more games. And most likely a whole ton of easy-to-use homebrew apps as well.

Third Party Applications on the iPhone [Apple]

If you can buy video games in Japanese convenience stores, why not Japanese drug stores? Soon, you can! Beginning November 15th, DS title Kenko Kentei will go on sale at retail druggist Drug Segami nationwide. The game tracks your health data and recommends healthy diets and work-up regimes. The game was developed by Yudo, a company created by the folks behind Dance Dance Revolution and Beatmania. Curious to see how this will do.

DS Game at Segami [IT Media via Tokyo Mango]

Sometime nowish (global time's too much for me sometimes), Ken Kutaragi, aka Father Of The PlayStation, aka Retired Ken, will be honoured by the ESA for his services to gaming. Oh, he's also Krazy Ken. Why crazy? Look at him! Dude's clutching a Dualshock, even though he's riding a rollercoaster. It's not even plugged in! Krazy. ESA president Michael Gallagher:

Ken's contributions to our community and the entertainment lives of ordinary consumers are extraordinary. His insight and vision revolutionised in-home entertainment, enabling advancements in creativity, technology, and innovation.

ESA honors Kutaragi at "Nite to Unite" [GI.biz]

The jury's out back. Deliberating. Furiously. Is that really Mike Patton hamming things up like a ham-fisted ham merchant? Is that really the exact same city, and dropship, from the Final Fantasy movie? And why does the guy have a bunch of hot dogs strapped to his arm? <-- Those are the cons. The pros? Only one, but it's sizeable: all that swinging looks like a right hoot.

We're seeing orange! Glowing orange!! We've gone batty for pumpkins!!! Reader Andy sends us this, writing:

This thing was a pain in the neck to carve, trying to keep it from collapsing.

It won't, says Turn 10 Studios (big) boss man Alan Hartman. The developer of Forza Motorsport 2 and adoring child to providing parent company Microsoft isn't planning on going independent any time soon, says the studio manager. According to Hartman's in-company interview, the guys at Turn 10 seem pretty content working for Microsoft, who they say has nurtured a good environment for them to build one of the strongest racing franchises this generation.

Plus, Hartman's not interested in doing the necessary paperwork. With the recent shake-up of internal development studios at FASA and Bungie, plus the snatching away of two third party developers to third party publishers, the Xbox crowd may be worried that Turn 10 has their eye on the door. Hartman's pretty clear, saying of the Bungie deal that it's a "win-win situation as far as I can tell, but not one I'm very interested in."

A Turn 10 Introduction... [Forza Motorsport]

To: Ash
From: Crecente
Re; What's with the Narnia Hate?

There was tonight, a great reckoning. Not one of Ionian proportions, but nearly. I had been defeated in a match of Eye of Judgement last week against Gabe, only to discover that it wasn't Gabe who was playing me but the robe-wearing Penny Arcade duo of Gabe and Tycho. But still I persevered. Taking the two on in another match, one hand tied behind my back. Again I met defeat.

Today the two challenged me to a third match and again I accepted. We played, the battle stretched on as my newly balanced deck proved its worth again and again. Twice I nearly lost, but on that final occasion the deft play of a lowly 1 Mana card turned the tables and within a turn snatched victory from Penny Arcade and deftly laid it at my feet.

To be fair I had help, Tristan sat by my side, bolstering my spirit with a steady tirade of the sort of gut-punching smack talk that only a 6-year-old can deliver.

Penny Arcade, according to Tristan, is both "stupid" and "weird".

Burn.

What you missed:
Astrophysicist Replaces Supercomputer with Eight PlayStation 3s
Assembling Rock Band Drums Is A Minor Pain
Nintendo Wisely Targets Urban Clothing Market
Heelys Reveals Ugliest Game Shoe Ever

Atari has just sent through its latest release schedule, and with it, the dates and RRPs for the publisher's October titles. Ones to watch out for are the expansion Neverwinter Nights 2: Mask of the Betrayer, Praetorians (a "Best of" release) and for the anime fans, Naruto Ultimate Ninja 2.

As a special bonus, Eternal Sonata is dated for November 2 and will set you back $109.95.

All the details after the jump. All prices and dates are Australian, unless noted otherwise.

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I've yet to play through the second episode of the Half-Life 2 expansions, but I now know that I'll have to do it twice to get the full experience. PC Gamer's Tom Francis recounts his journey, one that's seemingly spoiler rich, of guiding a garden gnome through the entirety of the latest Gordon Freeman adventure. Doing so and—spoiler alert!—stashing the little guy into a rocket at the end of the game unlocks one of the more difficult to accomplish achievements. Brilliant stuff, but it's hard to expect anything less from Valve. Great screenshots at the link below.

I Played Through Episode Two Holding A Goddamn Gnome (Spoilers) [James via Rock, Paper, Shotgun]

For anyone who has played through Valve's Portal, recently released in The Orange Box, you'll fondly remember the game's ending theme. For those who haven't, I honestly what your priorities are. Without spoiling anything for those who haven't spent the time, musician Jonathan Coulton's catchy robotic tune that plays alongside the game's credits is one of the better musical collaborations we've heard in a game maybe ever. Coulton recently updated his personal blog with the story behind his involvement in Portal, wrapping it up with a handy lyric sheet and chord chart so you can play the song at home.

Coulton says the piece is possibly coming to Steam and other unnamed locations, so keep your eyes peeled.

Portal: The Skinny [Jonathan Coulton]

Is there yet another Capcom megaton announcement coming? Possibly if we believe French gaming site—that we've never heard of until today—Jeux Actu's report that Okami has been "confirmed on Wii." Given that news from Capcom's London Gamer's Day, including revelations that Street Fighter IV, Dark Void and a PLAYSTATION 3 port of Lost Planet were all en route, we won't blink at an announcement that Capcom is bringing Okami to the Wii.

The game has long been rumoured to come to Nintendo's platform and while Capcom's Keiji Inafune didn't outright deny the port of Clover's beautiful adventure game, no confirmation has come our way.

Reaction to the rumour hasn't been 100% positive, however. When reached for comment, Okami superfan Lunk Plunkett of Australia said "I hate the internet". Regardless of the tiring roller coaster of emotions, we thank you for your tips on the matter.

Okami confirmé sur Wii [Jeux Actu]

If there were a competition to make the ugliest shoes in the world. And if that competition had an entry that was so good at being ugly it was disqualified to give the other entries a chance: The Gamer would be that entry.

I can't figure out which I find more disconcerting. The sheer overwhelming fuglatude of these shoes or the fact that just don't make any sense what so ever. What the hell was going through their minds when they came up with this?

Brent: I know, let's take a pair of sneakers and slap the gutted remains of an Xbox 360 controller to the sole.

Frasier: Wow, grand slam Brent! Now, lets go roll around in the pool of money we made off of kids who like to skate on the back heels of their shoes.

I mean the complete stupidity of this idea makes me question the company's success with the Heely. Was it just pure luck? Do these guys have two buckets, one filled with shoes and the other with objects and then just pick one from each bucket and make things with them?

Torrel LLC has taken the best of Nintendo, run it through the "urban market" filter with plans to provide thousands of clothes-conscious gamers with over-sized and wildly tacky Nintendo authorised gear. The line, simply titled Nintendo by Torrel, has officially and garishly launched as of this week and will be available at the Nintendo World Store in New York City, starting November 15. Limited to 1000 pieces each and ranging from hoodies to T-shirts to puffy jackets, it features classic Super Mario Bros. and NES era graphics with an urban... uh, twist.

Shots of the first line taken at the MAGIC trade show in Vegas are available at the official site, as are details on the Nintendo World Store launch party. Go ahead. Look. It will either A. be right up your alley or B. make you pine for a label like The King of Games that knows the definition of "understated".

Nintendo By Torrel

Welcome, Polish PlayStation contingent! SCEE has announced today the formation of Sony Computer Entertainment Polska Sp. z.o.o., an attempt to cater the PlayStation business to the "rapidly growing Polish market." As of April 1, 2008, it will be official, giving Polish PlayStation fans a more complete Polish experience with a Polish PlayStation Store and more games localised in the Polish language. Remember the name Marcin Ziobrowski, because he'll be our go-to-guy for all things PlayStation and Polish.

As a person of Polish descent, I can definitely say I'm exactly 25% more excited about this news than I would normally be upon hearing of a new wholly owned SCEE subsidiary. Nieźle!

If you're doing high-end video or 3D rendering or trying to build your own T-1000, then the answer has always been "yes". As for gaming, well, other than Gas Powered Games' Supreme Commander, most titles have been unable to capitalise on the extra grunt afforded by three extra cores.

What about next-gen, then? Like really next-gen? Anandtech got its hands on a variety of dual and quad-core processors and benchmarked them using a beta of the Unreal Tournament 3 demo. A beta of a demo? Yes, you read that right.

So what was the conclusion?

Quite possibly the biggest takeaway from this comparison is the dramatic improvement in multi-threaded game development over the past couple of years. Starting from a point where none of our game benchmarks were multi-threaded just two years ago, here we are today with the latest and greatest from Epic, and seeing huge gains from one to two cores, and promising improvements when moving to four cores.

Quad-core gaming is still years away from being relevant (much less a requirement), but the industry has come a tremendous distance in an honestly very short period of time.

Anyone out there with a supergun-like PC? Post your specs!

Unreal Tournament 3 CPU & High End GPU Analysis: Next-Gen Gaming Explored [Anandtech]

After a somewhat confusing reveal of Eidos' plans for Tomb Raider Anniversary on the Xbox 360, it appears that the remake of Lara Croft's original adventure has been nailed down. What was originally scheduled first as an Xbox Live Arcade release, one that requires ownership of Tomb Raider Legend, will come first as a standard retail release. Eidos will release Tomb Raider Anniversary for the 360 next week, October 23 in the U.S. and October 26th in Europe.

A pair of downloadable releases, still with the same Tomb Raider Legend requirement, will follow in November. Got it?

Grandmaster of Nerdcore funk MC Frontalot will be recording an original song for the upcoming release of Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness.

"Penny Arcade and MC Frontalot have a longstanding friendship," said Vlad Ceraldi, Hothead's president. "Frontalot's 'Penny Arcade Theme' has become a nerdcore classic, and we're sure his new song will be an awesome addition to 'On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness.'"

Nerdcore Calendar Goes Comic
Your morning dose of breakfast porn.

Golden Axe: Beast Rider Official
Excited? I am. Always loved playing the dwarf.

Soldier of Fortune Gets Refused Classification After All
Actually an AU post, but posted early so you may have missed it.

PlayStation 3 Finds Lost Planet
Still waiting for Capcom to release a SDTV patch for Dead Rising. Come on, you monkeys!

Street Fighter IV Confirmed
The greatest fighting game of all time gets a fourth instalment. Well, it's more like the 20th if you count all the spin-offs and variants...

2K Boston's head honcho Ken Levine sat down with the kids at Games For Windows magazine to chat about the downloadable content that BioShock may have in its future. Levine says that, instead of focusing on expanding the Xbox 360 game with, say, a multiplayer mode or new maps, the team wants to take a different approach. According to IGN's recounting of the interview, BioShock DLC may simply on add breadth to the combat experience and deliver plasmids that landed on the cutting room floor. In short, expect more replayability, not a car combat mode, and a circus of value.

Levine Talks BioShock DLC [IGN]

Last year the Nerdcore Calendar was all about 80s video games. This year the calendar taps the aesthetic of comic books. But don't worry you still have an excuse to buy one if you're a gamer. They've made sure to include dozens of