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Back When PC Dating Sims Were Abstractly Sexy
Posted by Brian Ashcraft at 5:00 PM on February 15, 2008
Valentine's Day isn't over! There's still time to make out with each other! Here's what appears to be one of the first Western-made dating sims for the PC. Dubbed Don Juan, the retro game ran on early 80s British PC Oric 1. Tiny screenshot after the jump.
In French, too. HOT.
Don Juan Game [Julie's besidegames.com via Hobby Blog]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
KM91
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
Wow.
KM91
sir_carrot
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: This guy should bring back text based games.
sir_carrot
underthechestnuttree
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
Instant 'follow this commenter' status haha.
underthechestnuttree
bobtheduck
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: I'll jump on this Bandwagon and say, yes... Yes, that is post of the week. Indeed.
bobtheduck
Nenuial
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo:
There was so much win there. "Nothing can save you now."
Nenuial
MURDERFACE
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: LOL EPIC WIN!!!!!!!
MURDERFACE
Evil Stick Man
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Konatsu: You know, I didn't even see the female face until you mentioned that. I thought it was some kind of pink monster with two pink antennae popping out of its head
Evil Stick Man
Killtacular
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
"I want him in the games until he dies playing."
Killtacular
Way
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
"Attention! Vous avez un rival," makes me think that I should be playing my other games in French. It has a certain something to it that is missing from, "A new challenger approaches!"
Way
Aimless
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
That game totally looks like the inspiration for modern day sex simulation, 'Mass Effect.'
Heh.
More like 'Mass Erect', since it will turn your kids into porn-crazed gremlins.
Aimless
DrXym
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
Ah, the Oric. The Oric 1 had a horrid keyboard and by the time the Atmos appeared, the ZX Spectrum & C64 ensured it stood no chance anywhere outside France.
DrXym
Dudemeister
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo:
"Nothing can save you now"
This made it legendary. xD
Dudemeister
MXs219
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: That was epic... But so true.
MXs219
tofoomeister
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: Classic. Although the text "adventures" I remember could only parse two word verb-noun phrases, as in:
>Enter bar
>Look bar
>Talk girl
If you ever had to do anything complicated, it was usually an exercise in futility, taking way too many tries before you got the right combination of phrases:
>ORDER ROUND
What is a 'round'?
>ORDER DRINK
You can't order that.
>TALK BARTENDER
The bartender eyes you impatiently, adding, 'What'll it be, buddy?'
>DRINK
You don't have anything to drink.
>TALK BARTENDER
The bartender continues to wait for your order.
>ORDER RUM
The bartender gives you a cup of warm rum.
>OFFER DRINK
I don't understand 'offer'.
>GIVE DRINK
You can't give that.
>GIVE RUM
To whom?
>TO GIRL
...and only then were you "rewarded" for your persistence.
tofoomeister
joelface
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Konatsu: ROFL. took me a while to realize the black area was hair too! ROFL!
@Gustavo: i've never read of a more realistic game! :p
joelface
Draconis
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
...
Draconis
KirbySS
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Morberis: Can't unsee.
KirbySS
Crippl3
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: Fucking winner, right here.
Everyone else go home.
Crippl3
Cola82
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
...or third.
Cola82
Cola82
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: Pwahahaha! I second the comment of the week designation.
Cola82
user.error
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
So did all three of us just nominate that for multi-tap simultaneously?
user.error
alias_007
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: Comment of the week, indeed!!!
alias_007
user.error
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: epic.
user.error
ShaggE
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@Gustavo: Comment of the week, I say! Good show, sir!
ShaggE
Gustavo
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
It's better than a text-based dating sim, at least.
You are at a bar. The bartender is serving a few people. There are some tables to the east. There is an exit to the south.
>Look at bar
There is a girl at the bar.
>Talk to girl
The girl quickly looks you over, then ignores you.
>Order drink for girl
The bartender gives you a cup of warm rum. The girl pushes it away, disgusted.
>Pick up girl
You can't pick that up.
>Pick up girl
You can't pick that up.
>Give girl torch
The girl doesn't want a torch.
>Kiss girl
The girl spins around and smashes the cup of rum across your face, then screams for help. The bouncer approaches from the south, cracking his knuckles.
>Save
Nothing can save you now.
Gustavo
Jopan
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
@ShaggE: I was thining more on the line of Err.
Jopan
Konatsu
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
At first I thought it was some kind of alien head... But that giant black area is hair... I think... Is it?
Uncanny valley, you say? No, you don't have to be super near-realistic to be creepy. You can be very non-realistic and still creepy. Someone hold me!
Konatsu
Cathaoir
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
I don't think I could get off to that. Not even if I wanted to or forced myself to.
Cathaoir
ShaggE
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
Master Shake!?
ShaggE
Morberis
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
She looks more like a factory than anything else.
Morberis
Cereal Killer
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
No man's land, eh?
How appropriate.
Cereal Killer
Erwin
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
Man, the cover looks nothing like the game!
We lost many decent clerks for this.
Erwin
Kovitlac
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
Creepy.
Kovitlac
Kirbytheslayer: Hot Tears of Shame for Life!
Posted 5:11 PM 16/2/08
Aww. At first I thought it was a Kool-Aid game.
Now I just discover it's an alien porn game in French.
Kirbytheslayer: Hot Tears of Shame for Life!