@Irenicus-the one and only: Did you say a poster on the wall or on the ceiling? Oh wait, NO! Neither of those two places!!

SumDum_Guy

@SumDum_Guy: lol new kids on the block, awsome... I think I seen it all now :P

Next you will tell me you got both of their autographs, and that poster with him holding his package on a wall in your room :D

Irenicus-the one and only

@Irenicus-the one and only: Donnie or Mark?

SumDum_Guy

@Witzbold: Yeah ... he does need to stop with that ...

SumDum_Guy

@SumDum_Guy: Is there such a thing as Wahlberg fans? :P

Irenicus-the one and only

Writer's strike will likely be over in the next week or 2.

Baff

@Irenicus-the one and only: Dude! Listen to yourself!! How can you say "horrible movie" and Roller Girl in the same sentence??!! LOL

SumDum_Guy

@Bernard McGraw:
See previous posts, same subject ...

SumDum_Guy

@Darkest Daze: Yeah ... just pretend that never happened and look at his "work" since then ...

SumDum_Guy

THE FLESH OF FALLEN ANGELS!!

I can't wait for this film, but yeah - no Sam Lake! So what exactly will make this film 'Max Payne'?

Shin-Kaiser

the dark and gnawing pain inside me wouldn't go away. it was the kind of dull but unrelenting remorse that comes once a lifetime - or once a week, depending on your past sins. i was unfortunate enough to be part of the latter.

it was a simple binary choice: boxers or briefs. simple enough, though the choice would come to define, come to haunt me. i chose boxer-briefs, a decision which added fuel to the torment and the regret that subsided within me. they were unbearable, riding up my leg and causing intense chafing - some sick joke by a psychotic seamstress or clown-killer tailor, it would seem. the immense testicular discomfort screamed sharply at me like the shrill voice of an opera's prima donna. it wouldn't go away.

they were all dead. all of them. and there was nothing left to do but sit beside my mistakes while grabbing my cock.

blaked567

Max Payne should have been handled by Frank Miller. At least for the storyboard. Im not a fan of all his stuff, but hes got talent with the modern film noir comic stuff.

n/a

that poster is so good though. do the kotaku writers make them themselves or what? for real

gogoranger

@FranUnFine: Because I never saw the original or knew that it was a "REMAKE" until now, thanks for letting me know though. So the original is like an old classic from the 50's or something?

Irenicus-the one and only

Why oh why is he holding his weewee? D:

Anyone else thought that guy who was in the first RE movie looks more like max payne than Marky Mark?

Witzbold

@SumDum_Guy: That was a horrible movie lol roller girl :P

I'm sorry but I hate the guy, I also hate Ben affleck and Will Smith, the thought of watching I am legend with half the movie just staring... Will gave me nightmares. We all have some actors etc that we can't stand to watch, pet peeves.

And no I don't "fail"! Because there is by no means you can measure a "win" :/

Irenicus-the one and only

@Irenicus-the one and only: How could you be surprised by the toy plane thing when the movie was a REMAKE? The original was not too different, but had the right amount of cheeziness and Jimmy Stewart.

FranUnFine

I don't understand why anyone has ever approved of Mark Wahlberg.

Bernard McGraw

@SumDum_Guy:
I'll give him a chance since I've never seen him act, but I still remember him from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, which kind of ruins all hopes of taking him seriously.

Darkest Daze

Are they going to go with serious noir and basically copy old films? Or are they going to go with something like Sin City would takes all the noir elements and throws em at us and expects us to notice them to be able to understand why its so "cheesy". Which for me worked.

Cartman86

@SumDum_Guy: The Big Hit was a fun movie, who can forget the Tracebuster-buster-buster? Although I'd have to say that Lou Diamond Phillips stole the show in that film.

UmeShoryu

...and oh yeah - executive producer for HBO's Entourage!!

SumDum_Guy

@Irenicus-the one and only: how could you hate Dirk Diggler? Boogie Nights was/is a classic!! Like SSJMICHAEL says ... You fail!

SumDum_Guy

@ssjmichael: Okey, I thought the departed was great, but he still sucked in it, and if it wern't for the rest of the cast the movie would fail. Any movie with Mark holding it on his own is a failure, was that better? :)

Irenicus-the one and only

@ssjmichael: OMG, flight of the phoenix was sooo bad lol I still remember laughing though at that weird guy when he says hes a model plane maker lol IT IS NOT A TOY! :P

I did not see that coming, I thought he was like some nazi scientist or something.

Irenicus-the one and only

@Irenicus-the one and only:

The Departed was a failure? You fail..

ssjmichael

If it's not buy Uwe, I'm not seeing it. It just won't have that Boll quality. You know what I mean. The kind of quality that makes you walk out of the theatre halfway through the movie, just cause you're so satisfied with it you didn't even need to let it finish.

gamadaya

I hate Mark Wahlberg, so the movie is already a failure to me, like everyone of his movies.

@Heartwork: A Sin city style would be awsome :) Or Planet terror.

Irenicus-the one and only

Dunno about you all, but those scenes in the game that involved involved the puzzle/maze jumping along that linear path and the twisted baby crying/wailing with blood everywhere scenes were disturbing. Hope they leave those out of the final film (the crying baby stuff).

SumDum_Guy

Sadly the director has a pretty bad filmography (Flight of the Phoenix, The Omen) and it's being written by the same guy who helped write the story for Saw IV. That can't be good. Still I like Wahlberg as of late and I think he could pull off Max Payne.

This isn't coming out till 2010 btw

ssjmichael

That Max Payne picture looks like he is advertising for Calvin Klein new trunks - the bronx style

k3nji

loving the pic!

i_am_ben

is that seriously mark wahlberg up there. SUPRISING!

Nintenjoe

No Sam Lake and no classic voice actor (forgot his name)? Fail.

gcZanmato

This is one of those movies that would reeeally benefit from the Sin City-esque style of cinematography. You know, with that awesome comic-book noir feel to it? Yes please!

Heartwork

Im wondering when there going to make a Max Payne 3 game.

GAH, patience is a virtue...

ZeonicFreak

Hey, it's Duddits from that Stephen King movie, Dreamcatcher!

Dave Silva

Are you there God? It's me. Thanks for getting us a half-way good actor to star in a video game movie that doesn't immediately smell like crap. Now, hear my next request- let it be good. Not 'so-bad-it-must-be-Boll' good, but a respectable 'good-but-the-writers-played-the-game' good.

Amen.

PS- Let me go another year with being smote by the Banhammer.

blackadvent

The second they said this one had a PG-13 mandate and would not be released as an R, I stopped caring. Seriously, PG-13? Is that even possible with the source material? I was sort of expecting something along the lines of Shoot 'Em Up meets Sin City (both hard R rated movies).

Sloopydrew

@Xamot:
wow... I don't even know where to begin, it has nothing at all to do with Steven Seagal movies.

Please read up on Mike Hammer/Mickey Spillane, then you will understand where the narratives come from. Please don't smear Spillane's work with Seagal's name

mutedia

@NeverSage: Thats disturbing lol

Irenicus-the one and only

Mark fuckin' Wahlberg?! I am so there.

mowh

this movie is probably going to blow.

the game's narrative was based on the crappy narratives found in Steven Segal movies. so making a movie based on a fun game that is based on crappy action movies...

it's kind of like watching somone defecate into their own mouth.

Xamot

The Max Payne movie already came out. It was called 'Shoot 'Em Up'

OtisElevator

@Irenicus-the one and only: I like Will Smith :(. Sure, in every movie he plays the same character, but I LIKE that character.

This is going to sound really weird, but coincidently I had a Will Smith related dream last night. Apparently he had made a "Will Smith Museum" and charged for entry.

I hope this movie is over the top in it's noir-ness

NeverSage

I just want to see how Mark will do the role. I enjoy watching his movies. Cuz at some point or another someone gets randomly punched in the face.

DARK DVNT [XBL];8908-2379-8728-6953 [Wii]

SWEETETH!!! One of my all-time favorite games.

ethermay

@Witzbold:
He is holding his junk be cause he is saying " Writers?? We don't need to damn writers! I got your script right here!"

Mr. SiThNiNjA

Great choice of photo for this article...<3 ;D

Jenstar: The O.C. Ninty Rep

Good Vibrations. Feel it, Feel it!

Sorry, had to.

ProjectThanatos

Robert Rodriguez was THE director to have for this movie ... Since he's not directing it, it's a guaranteed loss !

Shteve

@Diamondblade: Topher Grace filled out ok for Spiderman3. He's not that weak looking anymore.

Had high hopes for Shooter but it fell flat. Sniper with Tom Berenger is still better.

cactaur

Max Payne is one of my favorite series...but Mark Wahlberg...I don't think you could choose a worse actor...Maybe "Eric Forman".

Diamondblade

Anyone hatin on the Wahlburger is just angry cuz they're not as sweet.

Gonzodamus

Hot picture!

<.<

>.>

Not....

mishakoz

Man crazy mark wahlberg hate. I always found him to be in some movies that were quite good. Even far back when he was in FEAR. Of all the movies hes made the only one i just could not stand was Planet of the Apes. Oh well we all have our likes and dislikes i suppose. I for one was glad to hear they got a competent actor for the lead in this film.

Detre

man, it's always the same. When i first hear about a game-to-movie adaption i always think it's gonna be great (except if it's made by Uwe), and then i always get dissapointed. I fall for it every time.
This time too, a Max Payne movie could be soooo good, but probably won't be :(

tajfoon

@aelfin: I should nominate that.

Frank

I wonder if it will have the trademark Marky-Mark mumbling, where every single line the man utters is completely incomprehensible, amidst a torrent of huffing.

See Shooter for prime mumbling.

Pylon_trooper

As much as I love the Max Payne series, I doubt I'll even steal this. It stars Marky Mark for Christ's sake.

Bissrok

So this movie is a documentary on what happens to Marky's nether regions when he grabs them in his Calvins?

aelfin

This is either gonna turn out "hey, I guess it wasn't that bad!" or just Boll-awful.

Honestly, they have Tomb Raider to beat. C'mon. Angelina Jolie and Daniel "I didn't know that was the future James Bond" Craig.

Frank

I actually don't think it's going to be bad.

tehFluffz

@gamadaya: I concur. Hard.

Aethyr

Wahlberg should stick to what he's good at: rapping like the inconceivable badass that he is. Humping the floor.

Asper

@SumDum_Guy: *runs out the backdoor

Irenicus-the one and only

@Irenicus-the one and only: Not until you admit Marky Mark IS the Funkiest Bunch of them all!!!

SumDum_Guy

@LoopyChew: Three Kings was a cool movie.

Even more so that it had that shotgun revolver "Thunder 5" in it.

Witzbold

@LoopyChew: omfg, three kings was "terrrrrrrible" lol It didn't help that ice cube was in it :P

Oh god, you people, time to leave this topic in peace :D

@FranUnFine: That guy is a great actor, Robert Picardo :)

Irenicus-the one and only

@LoopyChew: Thank you!

SumDum_Guy

@Witzbold: Yes, that one. No clue, who the guy he was injected into was, but the Holodoc from Voyager "starred" in it, too.^^

Loved the killer with the finger-gun. Remembered me of a bad guy in the German comic Nick Knatterton.

FranUnFine

I really don't get the MW hate. Has nobody here seen Three Kings? That's one of the awesomest movies ever, and one of the movies which made me think of him as something other than Marky Mark.

LoopyChew

Martin Short? or something like that.

Witzbold

@FranUnFine: Ah was that movie "Innerspace" where hes injected into some other guy. I forgot his name.

Witzbold

@FranUnFine: I saw the remake on tv too, I would never watch it otherwise lol But yeah, I did not know it was a remake :) And He really did look like a nazi flight engineer to me, so when he said he made toy planes I laughed pretty hard :P

I mean the guy shot someone in the head execution style just before that lol

Maybe I should see if they show the old classic on TCM sometime.

Irenicus-the one and only

The real question is, will this movie generate enough interest in the Max Payne character to warrant the rescuing of the game series from limbo with the development of another game?

(probably not)

Draconis

@Irenicus-the one and only: Whoa. ;)

But yes, the old one is a classic adventure movie, so to say. In the remake it was especially funny that the toy plane engineer still had this Nazi touch... I mean, in the 50ies, I can understand... but 200X (whenever the remake was made)? OK, maybe, sometimes, I could still understand - maybe he was building model V2s or Messerschmidts.

I only endured the remake on TV a few weeks ago because of Dennis Quaid ("Die Reise ins Ich" (Don't know the English title, the one where he gets miniaturized) is a very fond childhood memory.

FranUnFine

@SumDum_Guy: lol

Irenicus-the one and only

I hope the actor pulls a face like he just ate lemons

Rickster773

@k3nji: Lol, I don't think that's an actual poster for Max Payne. It's just a Calvin Klein poster that Kotaku used, and wrote 'Max Payne'. ;p

rhugghed

Mark Wahlberg...MAX PAYNE IN THE CROTCH

MidnightScott17