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editorial
Pure Energy: A Critical Look At Energy Drinks
Posted by Mike Fahey at 7:00 AM on February 5, 2008
The gaming industry is growing by leaps and bounds every year, and as more and more people enter the gaming community, more and more companies are trying to find a way to capitalize on the exploding demographic. Furniture companies start producing gaming chairs, electronics manufacturers add high-definition gaming to their feature lists - I've even seen local apartment complexes advertising gamer-friendly DSL on signs outside their property. With brands like Mountain Dew already sharing a strong association with gamer culture, it makes sense that the energy drink industry would target our hobby in a big way. Game harder, faster, and longer with the help of various sugars and herbs in a tiny tin can - but which tiny tin can is the best? I took a look at thirteen of the more popular brands in my area to determine which energy drink packs the most kick without making you sick to your stomach.
Now there are a few big names you might miss from my list. Bawls, for instance, was just not available in my immediate area, and if I can't drive down to the corner store to pick it up on a whim I' m not going to assume everyone else can. Mountain Dew Game Fuel is absent as well, as the stores in my area are no longer stocking it and it never really fit the energy drink profile in the first place. I chose items that contained at least two or three of the following:
Common Energy Drink Ingredients
Caffeine: Ah yes, good old caffeine. A stimulant drug and a mild diuretic, which explains why I've been in the bathroom so much during this project. The world's most widely used psychoactive substance.
Taurine: 2-aminoethanesulfonic acid, an organic acid which is a common component of - yum - bile! Taurine has been shown to alleviate muscle fatigue in rats, increasing exercise capacity. Taurine is an important part of a cat's diet, as felines cannot create it on their own. It is a requirement in U.S. cat foods. Now you know!
Ginseng: Ginseng is a plant, the roots of which are widely consumed in North America and Asia as adaptogens, aphrodisiacs, stimulants, as well as for the treatment of type II diabetes and male sexual dysfunction. After drinking all of these energy drinks, I am surely the most potent man in town, with the ardor to back it up. Woot!
Guarana: The seeds of the guarana plant is what we're talking about here, which contain about three times the caffeine of a coffee bean. In Brazil, guarana-based soft drinks commonly outsell popular cola drinks. Studies have shown that guarana has the effect of increasing memory retention and physical endurance in rats, with human studies showing that lower doses can increase memory, alertness, and mood.
Ginkgo: Ginkgo is a plant once thought to be long extinct - a living fossil, as the only records of the plant before being discovered growing in the Zhejiang province in Eastern China were from fossils dating back over 270 million years ago. The effects of ginkgo are in a constant state of flux, as scientists fight back and forth over study results. Blood flow and memory improvement seem to be the most prevalent suggested effects, though the amounts included in energy drinks are so negligible as to not really matter.
L Carnitine: A quaternary ammonium compound which helps with fat consumption and disposal in the body. Synthesized in the liver and kidneys, carnitine is also found in many of our foods - meats, beans, vegetables, fruits, and grains - we get this stuff everywhere.
Inositol: A nutrient that aids in regulating the central nervous system, which sounds absolutely delicious.
The Energy Drink Horde
What follows is a listing of the drinks I partook of, their manufacturers, and a few facts about their history where applicable, along with descriptions and grades given in two categories - flavor and buzz. I consumed a full can of each product, with several hours in between each drink in order to separate the effects. Of course this is not a scientifically sound test - this is strictly my opinion, but after drinking thirteen different cans of energy drinks over the course of a long weekend I am convinced that my opinion is completely awesome and I could - if needed - run completely through the living room wall into the neighboring apartment.
Red Bull
Produced by Red Bull North America, Inc.
Red Bull was created in Thailand in the 1970's, under the name 'Krating Daeng'. In 1982 an Austrian entrepreneur named Dietrich Mateschitz discovered that the drink cured him of his jet lag, and between 1984 and 1987 reformulated the beverage along with the original manufacturer, founding Red Bull alongside partner Chaleo Yoovidhya. Today Red Bull is the most successful energy drink in the world.
Ingredients: Taurine, Caffeine, Inositol
Color: Closely resembles apple juice or possibly urine.
Scent: Very sweet, flowery scent.
Taste: It tastes like it wants desperately to be cloyingly sweet and then decides against it at the very last moment, turning slightly sour and bitter while leaving a sort of flowery aftertaste behind. This is what I imagine roses would taste like if they didn't taste like plants. I used to think people mixed this with vodka to make the vodka taste better, though now I'm not so sure it isn't the other way around.
3 of 10.
Buzz: Directly after drinking I felt a few little tingles, though honestly that could have just been excitement over starting this grand project. After another ten minutes, still feeling slightly tingly. A half hour after drinking the tingly is still around. Don't exactly feel full of energy, but definitely a bit more relaxed.
5 of 10
Cocaine
Produced by Redux Beverages
The energy drink Cocaine was introduced in 2006, marketed as "The Legal Alternative To Cocaine." This went over well with the FDA, who pulled the drink from shelves in May of 2007. In June, Redux Beverages redistributed the drink as No Name, with a blank label that drinkers could write their own name on. Now in early 2008 the product has returned to the shelves under its original name.
Ingredients: Taurine, Caffeine, Inositol, L-Carnitine, Pain
Color: Candy Red...nearly a deep orange
Scent: Weak flowery scene with a hint of cherry.
Taste: OUCH. This is the sweet of Red Bull followed by what I can only explain is a hot pepper-like burn. Ow ow ow. For just a moment you taste a cloying sweetness, followed by a chemical fire in your mouth. Like hot peppers or something. How can this can not say something about peppers? Damn this burns. I hate you people. Oh god. Finished the whole thing, feel like I am going to die.
2 of 10
Buzz: Hard to tell, since my throat is burning. Drank some water to ease the pain. Man. Certainly more awake than I was after the first mouthful. Little tingly now 10 minutes in, but the burn is still there. Oh boy is the burn still there. Like a mouthful of tabasco. While I cannot recommend this drink for flavor, it will certainly kick the living crap out of your sleepiness.
9 of 10
Rooster Booster
Rooster Booster is mainly found at Quiktrip and Road Ranger stores across the US. I don't know about Road Ranger, but it can be found at the soda fountain in most Quiktrip stores, as well as in icee form.
Ingredients: Taurine, Inositol, Caffeine
Color: Ruby red with a hint of caramel color
Scent: It smells a lot like strawberry Cool-Aid
Taste: With tastes like a bubbly, melted Freeze Pop of the cherry variety, with just a slight bit of sour bitterness. Very sweet. Thankfully not burny whatsoever.
7 of 10
Buzz: Weaksauce. Barely a tingle from this stuff. Not sure where they get off calling this an energy drink, other than sharing some of the common ingredients.
1 of 10
Crunk!!!
Produced by Crunk LLC.
It's rapper Lil Jon's own energy drink! Pretty sure he made it all by himself too. Brilliant herbologist, that Lil Jon is.
Ingredients: Caffeine, Inositol, L-Carnitine, Horny Goat Weed, Ginkgo, Ginseng, Skull Cap, White Willow Bark, Ashwaganda Root, Milk Thistle Seed. They just threw everything in there.
Color: A cloudy sort of brownish red.
Scent: Smells like Minute Maid fruit punch, you know, the kind you get in the carton.
Taste: Taste like Minute Maid fruit punch gone bad, with a bit of an emphasis on pineapple...and the sort of enriched after taste you get when eating baby food. Bitter and sour aftertaste. Overall a kind of sweet and sour yuck.
4 of 10
Buzz: You'd think with all of these ingredients I'd be flying around the room right now, but not much going on in my body right now except for a slight hungry. After awhile I feel a tiny surge, but nothing more than a slight disturbance in the force.
2 of 10.
Monster Energy
Produced by the Monster Beverage Company
Monster first came on the scene in 2002, and was one of the first energy drinks to come in the 16 ounce can - twice the size of a Red Bull.
Ingredients: Taurine, Ginseng, L-Carnitine, Caffeine, Inositol, Guarana
Color: Deep amber.
Scent: Flower petals and bubblegum.
Taste: Oddly enough, flower petals and bubblegum. Like a slightly sour Wrigley's Juicy Fruit. I like it. Nummylicious.
9 of 10.
Buzz: Oooo, now there's a nice little tingly going on. Not quite as potent as the Cocaine, but the taste combined with the buzz makes Monster the total package thus far.
7 of 10.
AMP Tall Boy
Produced by Pepsi
AMP is a Mountain Dew based energy drink created in 2001 to compete with Red Bull. It uses a base Mountain Dew flavor with added energy drink ingredients.
Ingredients: Guarana, Caffeine, Taurine, Ginseng
Color: Neon Yellow with a hint of green. Radioactive looking.
Scent: Very, very faint scent of sweet citrus.
Taste: A lot like Mountain Dew, actually...though more concentrated and with a slightly bitter aftertaste. Being a huge fan of Mountain Dew, I definitely prefer the real thing to this version.
6 of 10
Buzz: Fair to middling. Kinda used to this stuff by now, so it doesn't hold the kick it once may have.
5 of 10.
NOS
Produced by High Performance Beverage
NOS was created in 2006 and bottled to look like a nitrous oxide cartridge. High Performance Beverage was recently purchased by Coca-Cola.
Ingredients: Taurine, L-Carnitine, Caffeine, Ginseng
Color: A cloudy yellow, sort of like a highly diluted orange juice.
Scent: Strong citrus scent...mainly grapefruit, with a hint of orange.
Taste: Ooo, this is kind of nice. Tastes like a tart citrus punch mixed with Sprite. Not too sweet, and just sour enough to begin to make your lips pucker. Very pleasant!
8 of 10.
Buzz: More refreshing than anything else. I feel somewhat invigorated and my head feels a bit more clear. Not so much a buzz as a general sharpening of my senses.
6 of 10
Red Jak
Produced by Big Red LTD.
I'm not finding too much information about Red Jak other than it was recently relaunched in a brand-new, much more stylized can.
Ingredients: Taurine, Ginseng, Inositol, L-Carnitine, Caffeine
Color: Pinkish Orange, if that makes any sense.
Scent: Just the hint of a sweet, flowery smell.
Taste: It's rather odd. It has a flowery, sweet aftertaste sort of like Red Bull, but the actual taste while the drink is in your mouth is just a burst of slightly sour sweet without any real direction. I know it's trying to be some sort of fruit, but it's not making it.
3 of 10
Buzz: I'm pretty tired when I cracked open the Red Jak, but it has enough of a kick to keep me going another two and a half hours, which is an excellent boost in my book.
8 of 10
Savage Energy
Produced by Caroline Beverage Corp.
Savage Energy comes in a black plastic bottle, giving it a unique shelf presence that immediately caught my eye. It's by the same company that makes Cheerwine, so you know it has to be good!
Ingredients: Taurine, Caffeine, Ginseng, Inositol
Color: Savage is a pale gold, sort of like a nice whiskey.
Scent: Fruity Bubblegum smell...like a bubblegum flavored lollipop.
Flavor: Mmmmmm. It tastes like a bubblegum lollipop too, with just a hint of undefinable citrus flavor. This stuff tastes awesome. Has me licking my lips after every swallow. I could drink this all day long.
10 of 10
Buzz: Unfortunately I have noticed that the better these drinks taste, the less effect they have buzz-wise, and Savage is the poster child for this observation. Tastes amazing, barely has any effect on me otherwise.
1 of 10
Sobe No Fear
Produced by South Beach Beverage Company
The energy drink of the clothing brand!
Ingredients: Taurine, Inositol, Ginseng, Guarana, L-Carnitine, Caffeine
Color: Dark orange, almost brownish.
Scent: Indeterminate fruity smell.
Taste: No Fear tastes like a really weak Guava juice. Slightly tropical. It is pretty much a Sobe fruit juice drink with a little bit of carbonation added. Not too fond of the taste.
2 of 10
Buzz: No Fear does have a nice little kick to it, despite how bad it tastes. Almost makes you wonder if these energy drinks rely on shock to your palate to get your energy up rather than all these fancy ingredients.
7 of 10
Full Throttle
Produced by Coca-Cola
Full Throttle was created in 2004 by Coca-Cola, and is one of the easiest to find energy drinks, available in 78% of convenience stores across the US as of 2005.
Ingredients: Taurine, Ginseng, Caffeine
Color: Cloudy yellow, like diluted orange juice.
Scent: O.o This smells like a margarita. Almost exactly like a margarita.
Taste: Strange. I have tasted this before but I cannot quite place it. It really tastes like a virgin margarita to me, which is completely delicious. I like. A lot.
9 of 10
Buzz: Dammit. Once again the taste versus buzz theory stands. Hardly any buzz whatsoever. Sadness!
1 of 10
...Lost Perfect
Produced by Lost Beverage Company
Lost is based off of Monster Energy, as the two smaller beverage companies are both owned by the larger Hansen Beverage Company.
Ingredients: Ginkgo, Ginseng, Caffeine, Guarana, L-Carnitine
Color: Clear amber...looks a lot like a glass of beer.
Scent: Oh, this is another one of those bubblegum lollipop smelling drinks!
Taste: Definitely bubblegum lollipop, with a strong burst of artificial fruit flavor at the end. A slight artificial aftertaste.
7 of 10
Buzz: While Lost is modeled after Monster, it seems to lack the kick of its fellow drink, with only a mild buzz kicking in shortly after drinking it.
3 of 10
Rockstar Energy Drink
Produced by Rockstar Inc.
Rockstar was created in 2001 by Russ Weiner, the son of national radio talk show host and complete nutball, Michael Savage. In Canada there are alcoholic versions - "Rockstar + Vodka", and "Rockstar + Vodka/Pomegranate". Sadly, this is not Canada.
Ingredients: Taurine, Ginkgo Biloba, Caffeine, Guarana, Inositol, L-Carnitine, Ginseng
Color: Clear amber, like beer or apple juice.
Scent: Sweet fruit scent.
Flavor: Rockstar combines the flowery taste of Red Bull with the fruity bubblegum taste of several of the other varieties for a flavor somewhere in between. It left me craving more sweetness., though not too bad.
6 of 10
Buzz: A nice, mild buzz from this one. Didn't have me bouncing off of the walls, but I certainly wasn't ready for nappytime.
5 of 10
The Verdict
The end result all depends on what you are looking for. If you are going purely on taste, you probably shouldn't be shopping for energy drinks, though if for some reason you are you can't beat the taste of Savage Energy in my book, garnering the only perfect score in the category. For the biggest jolt, the agonizing pain of Cocaine wins out hand-down, scoring a nine. If you are searching for something that packs a nice kick and doesn't taste like death, however, Monster Energy is the all-round winner, with an average of eight between the two categories. Congratulations!
The Aftermath
So how do I honestly feel after having spent the weekend drinking nothing but energy drinks out of cans? Despite the nutrients and claimed benefits of the various ingredients commonly used in their manaufacture, there is nothing really healthy about relying on artificial energy to push yourself. The times I did crash over the weekend I crashed *hard*, as if my body finally realized what I was trying to do and wanted nothing to do with it. Our physiology is deisgned with built-in safeguards that tell us when we are hungry, or thirsty, or tired - and bypassing that on a regular basis is not a great idea. I know you want to get in as much gaming as possible, but the games will still be there when you wake up. Energy drinks are great for a once in a while boost, but if you rely on them to get you through your day, you might be living wrong. That's just my two cents.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
yas
Posted February 5, 2008 10:36 AM
these drinks can be pretty dangerous 0_o
Spagman
Posted February 5, 2008 11:04 AM
did you mix them all up into one big drink to see what happens? :P
PlasmaDavid
Posted February 5, 2008 1:48 PM
Some good research there, though surely you perhaps should have spaced each energy drink out with a day to "recover" so you could be sure that they weren't messing with each other?. This article reminded me of the Extinct Beverage reviews on Lance and Eskimo...
DONAR
Posted February 5, 2008 9:56 PM
You reminded me how much I miss the Sprite-based 'Refresh' energy drink, and how godawful their replacement 'Mother' is.
Set
Posted May 7, 2008 6:19 PM
Donar- Oh yes..I missed 'Refresh' as well..Why on why did coke pull it and give us Mother? I want to know who tasted the drink and thought it was NICE!? Kinda like Hornii which is just as bad.
Colin
Posted November 6, 2008 10:52 PM
That Hornii is just plain stupid name.... there is nothing smart in the marketing.
I think they are going broke anyway, they do not answer their phone when I rang to complain about the drink.
Ozlat @ Energy Cans
Posted December 14, 2008 8:02 PM
You must of been buzzing something hard after a mix like that... you do know there are healthy alternatives on the market... and you can get them delivered directly to your door... just a thought for a future story... that way you can compare sugar-laden kind against the healthy alternatives.
newkular
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
buddy and i split a 6er of red bull....nothing after 2 each.....on our third....he made me laugh and i spit everything into my can and thusly, into my eyes....20 minutes later he was out...i was wired for about 12 hours.
newkular
escopr
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
On paper red bull is the most powerful common drink sold in america, also imo one of the worst tasting.
The best tasting and best long term working energy drink i've had was Rockstar Juiced(namely the guava and mango). It should be noted that the tall cans are usually labled under the nutritional facts as 2 servings so in reality you're forced to drink more to get the same energy as the smaller ones so it's a marketing ploy when they say you get more. You'll get more fluid but not necessarily more energy. But i'm alright with that since I tend to take my time with drinks but for 100% effectiveness they do have to be chugged.
escopr
Slick-Rick
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I've always kinda had an "eh" attitude about energy drinks.
The way I figure it if I REALLY need to be awake for extended amounts of time. Illicit stimulants will do a better job of it.
Rockstars are damn good though.
Slick-Rick
gadgetfanatic
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@dipic: No you're not.
gadgetfanatic
Aero7
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Tea hands down.
Aero7
Vegan Shinigami
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@bird1988:
Yuss!!! CC LEMON! And Ramune too!!! Oishii!!
Vegan Shinigami
weasl
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Lyner:
It really depends on the person, most cola, coffee, and tea have little to no affect on me.
weasl
.endejas.
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
A regular SoBe citrus or an Arizona Iced Tea do awesome for me when I'm gaming.
Most energy drinks taste like ass to me.
.endejas.
weasl
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
My energy drink of choice is Monster. As an added bonus the lo carb version doesn't taste like complete piss.
weasl
Lyner
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Bottom line: If you need a kick, Coffee and Tea are the best ways to go. Every other possible energy drink available out there are harmful to health anyway.
Lyner
Marlor
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
If I want to wake myself up, I just drink a couple of cups of tea.
It increases your alertness, without any of the side-effects that you get from drinking too much cola or coffee.
Marlor
otaconnachos
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Awesome read.
otaconnachos
otaking241
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
You left sugar off the list of ingredients. All of the drinks you use have it in abundance, and the sugar high you get is a large part of what makes an energy drink work.
The "burn" you describe in Cocaine sounds a lot like the burn you get in your throat when you swallow GNC's Thermo Burst, which is supposed to increase the rate at which you burn calories during a workout. Could be the same ingredient, though I haven't been able to pin down which it is that actually causes the sensation.
otaking241
tshack
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I drink rockstar before and during my math class to keep me awake and paying attention, may need to switch over to cocaine so people can hear me coughing in pain while writing down formulas
tshack
bird1988
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
C.c. lemon anyone?
bird1988
Hion
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I appreciate you going through the trouble of drinking all those just for us!
Hion
lostalaska
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I read the entire article and then I got to the last line... Oh no! I'm living wrong!
Coffee is my preferred choice of energy drink. Sure it doesn't have the sexy labels or the to the XXXtream marketing, but it works well and is penny's on the dollar compared to the energy drinks.
A few years ago I was working a job delivering beer for Coors, and it had weird hours lots of early, early mornings and late evenings attending "functions". So I ended up drinking a lot of energy drinks in the morning. Some of those drinks would cause me to crash so hard after a few hours it was almost better to go without them.
I figure in another 20 years when we're going to the doctor for our annual check up they'll look at us concerned and ask... "So it looks like you were a heavy drinker when you were younger was it alcohol or energy drinks that made your liver what it is today?" Sadly I'll end up saying both...
lostalaska
UnknownFactor
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
BAWLS?!?
UnknownFactor
VeNoMmx
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Hey! treat review, thanks for the comparison chart. We really don´t have that much energy drinks here on Mexico but my favorite one is one called "Burn" from the Coca Cola Company, it is the one that has kept me going, also tried several others like Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar, Amp Energy and so on but nothing like the Burn...you should try it!
VeNoMmx
Brian Crecente
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@cynopt: Don't forget the breaking most hard news bit, ay...
;)
[kotaku.com]
Brian Crecente
cynopt
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Good article; between posts on arts 'n crafts and various editors' domestic lives, this is rapidly turning into the Ladies Home Journal for gaming nerds.
Keep it up, sez I
For the record, those Rockstar 'n fruit juice drinks keep me plugging; dunno what happened to Fahey's test except it was a bit late in the day, and the Rockstar drinks seem to provide more of a slow but steady drip of caffeine over two or three hours, which cuts down on the jitters, but doesn't give you that Captain Caveman style rush.
cynopt
VanFinale
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Boo Koo is the best energy drink it tastes awesome and is probably more powerful than any of those except for maybe the cocaine but I doubt it.
VanFinale
GameCasa
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
My favorites are NOS and COCAINE. Nos is smoother but not as high octane as Cocaine. The only downfall of Cocaine the drink is that you feel edgy afterwards, not unlike the real thing. Don't ask how I know that(personal experience).
GameCasa
Norellicus
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Great story, very fascinating results.
I too would like to see a test of Bawls though, because that's one of those almost pure guarana drinks but also tastes pretty damned good, which would fly in the face of your theory (not that I make a hobby out of debunking your theories, Fahey >_>).
Norellicus
GOLD5
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
If you look on the labels the cans list the amount of caffeine in mg. The Rockstar and Rockstar Juiced (my favorite), as well as Monster, have by far the most amount. Look out though because the new flavor ones often have lower amounts of caffeine than the main type. Generally, the small cans, for the same amount of money usually have around 80mg, the big cans have 15-160. Just go for the one with the most. Red Bull have the small can market covered, people who have smaller bodyweight (like Britney or my wife) like the smaller dose. Big manly men like deal of two in one you get from the double cans but you get a real rush from those. The vodka cooler ones are an even better head buzz, but you can only get them at the liquor store. The best part is that they are only $3 just like the regular store kind. In line with the price of the other coolers. Just shows you how mush they burn you for this stuff. They did a study and found that if you package Fruitopia in a larger economy size, people don't think it's as special, and they won't pay a ridiculous price for it. That's why they'll never make 2L sized energy drinks from the major competitors. they just pack six small ones together and charge straight up original price. Bastards.. I liked it when the slogan for Jolt Cola was, "All the Sugar, Twice the Caffeine", before they were bought by Coke and wussed out.
GOLD5
Mrmoo2002
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
This article almost seems like it belongs on Lifehack or something. Totally invaluable information for pretty much anyone out there. Great read!
Mrmoo2002
Tiger-Fever
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Deadeyereborn: Not in Manitoba. Only place I've been to that sells it in bags in Ontario. Saskatchewan and Alberta don't, from what I remember but I haven't been there for years.
Tiger-Fever
aut0b0t0pt1mus
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
yeah.. you're missing Jolt. GOTTA respect Jolt. Nerd Energy is a new one that i tried, tastes nothing like other energy drinks and it gave me more of a clarity of mind buzz than it did the 'i wanna run up a wall' buzz. BUT. i got a mean ass migrane an hour or so after i drank it. but every now and then i just get a red vault and get the same buzz i would paying 3 bucks for an energy drink. Pepsi Max is good too.. if you can get past the diet taste.
aut0b0t0pt1mus
stranger
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Well... correct me if I'm wrong but at a certain point your body can't imbibe any more caffeine. So, if you were drinking these things one after another you'd eventually stop feeling the "buzz" associated with the stimulants as your body just passes them unused.
Guess a lot of people drink this shit if this post already has 200 comments and like 500 Diggs...
I pity your livers.
stranger
Ehardergardens
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I like Viso, specifically the Will flavor... that does double the work on me that Rockstar or any of the others do.
I also used to be a big fan of Josta which was the first soft drink I recall to be marketed using Guarana. Viso currently has limited distribution (lots of health food stores around me) and Josta, I don't know if it made it out of a test market status.
Ehardergardens
LilBigMac
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Kudos to the author of this article. My stomach usually does somersaults after only one can of any type of energy drink. So for you to drink more than one for the sake of your readers/science, hats off to you.
AnimeWP.com
LilBigMac
Vidril
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
RedBull, Rockstar, and sobe no fear are my favs.. they're so addictive. xD
Vidril
FunkyJ
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I'm just waiting for the day when they actually start putting something that will really keep you awake into these things...
FunkyJ
msondo
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Jolt???
And yeah, Bawls is all over Penny Arcade.
I have tried a few energy drinks but I prefer coffee or tea.
msondo
Jason144
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I had a Monster once.
Tasted like a mixture of fresh urine, bleach, and grape-flavored children's cough syrup (probably their secret ingredient).
Apple juice FTW.
Jason144
cerberus011
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Mike you should do this again only go for the drinks targeted towards gamers like the new mana energy drink.
It be interesting to see if those drinks do anything to help gamers
cerberus011
天人
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I'm a fan of Bawls and the Rockstar Juiced Guava stuff. I never drink them though - I'm all about coffee and tea.
天人
Cyanbane
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
No Bawls? Mike Fahey, You Sir are a Commie.
Cyanbane
Haniko
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Don't those things have like fifty billions grams of sugar in them? I would hate to see how much weight you gained from those suckers.
Haniko
xiLLeNtz
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
monster has to be my hands down fav. especially the one with orange instead of green on the can !
xiLLeNtz
Nikral
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Wow awesome article!!
My fave right now is the Rockstar + Vodka (it's somehow cheaper than actual Rockstar!)
but monster assault is sooo mmm mmm delicious!
Nikral
infi
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
my favourite "energy drink" is a fair-trade guarana drink, guaranito
infi
Brian Crecente
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
For what it's worth, when I tried Bawls three years ago for my piece in RAB, I found it didn't pack much of a comparative kick. Though back in the day I was a hard-core caffeine addict.
[www.redassedbaboon.com]
Brian Crecente
half-beast
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I've grown an attachment to NOS.
On top of actually tasting good and providing a little edge, there's an Exxon station near me that sells the big bottles at a discounted price.
half-beast
PsycheDiver
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I can't get a hold of NOS, but I'll give Monster a try.
PsycheDiver
CrispyCrunch
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I'm not much in Energy Drinks, but the only one i knew is Red Bull :-/. I don't think we have them here in Germany, but maybe it's just because i didn't noticed them.
CrispyCrunch
Brian Crecente
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@FrigidAir44: I totally told him to look for Pimp Juice when I assigned this. :(
Brian Crecente
Evil_Snow_Man
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Jager and Redbull for the nasty drink that gets you on your way to a whole night of booziness without slowing down.
Evil_Snow_Man
indigo
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Awesome graphs. I had an idea though, the line graph might be more helpful if you had time on the x axis instead of the drinks. Maybe two seperate graphs? A histogram for the type of drink and their score (you already have that), and then a line graph for buzz over how much time you drank the drinks in. This idea wouldn't work out too well if you had the drink on different days... unless you maybe had the drink, and took note of how buzzed you felt afterwards every 30 minutes. Then you'd have a graph for each drink and you could combine it into one graph with different colored lines for each drink! Awesome..
indigo
Brian Crecente
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@DanAmrich: So both of them used glasses, so it's a rip off?
Brian Crecente
Bobbish_Min_Earl
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@ShawnC++: They do have Jolt on the West coast as well, but they do seem hard to come by.
Bobbish_Min_Earl
V1L3
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
"Studies have shown that guarana has the effect of increasing memory retention and physical endurance in rats."
At least when the machines take over, their reign of tyranny will be cut short by hordes of these indefatigable smart-rats.
V1L3
The Great Moof
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I like Rockstar and the Sobe No Fear. I don't depend on a ton of artificial energy, but they're a nice extra somethin' when you're feeling less than energized. Like a slow Monday morning, for instance.
The Great Moof
Brian Crecente
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@mizmarie: I'm flabergasted to re such stupidity coming from a commenter. You really don't think that energy drinks are in anyway a part of gaming culture?
More importantly, what gawker policy?
Brian Crecente
DanAmrich
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Brian Crecente: Sorry, don't see the presentation of the energy drink in an alcohol glass.
Ideas are universal, but it did strike me as suspicious when one of our readers pointed it out. 'Sall I'm saying.
DanAmrich
ForwardInReverse
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@MrBionic: Agreed, although I havent tried the Green Tea flavour.
ForwardInReverse
Brian Crecente
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@DanAmrich: Wow, that looks familiar:
[www.redassedbaboon.com]
Ps. I wrote that RAB article about this three years ago. So I win.
:)
Brian Crecente
TheBoxNinja
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
now... to show this to my brother Ryan.....
TheBoxNinja
DanAmrich
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Wow. This looks familiar!
[oxmonline.com]
DanAmrich
Polkster
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Why don't you look up something called the scientific method and then learn how to be a real journalist?
Polkster
TK423
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Sorry, but I have to disagree with you on most of those. I find Red Bull delicious, and I can only relate the taste of Monster to licking the bar room floor at 4:00 am after a bunch of people decided to shit and piss all over it.
TK423
Eothein
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
......There's far too much reliance on energy drinks nowadays.
If you absolutely must stay up all night playing Halo than get your life in order.
Adopt a good balanced diet and a regulated amount of exercise and rest. I.E at least an hour of exercise a day and 8 hours pure sleep.
If your lifestyle is anything like the above the staying up till the wee hours of the morning should be no problem. Although having say 10 hours of sleep the day before an all nighter will help.
I've never had any problems staying up for large amounts of time and I don't drink coffee/energy drinks/alcohol.
Bottom line if you feel tired and your body wants to go to sleep than obey it don't repress it by pumping chemicals into your body in the long run it won't help. Like feeling hungry or thirsty, the feeling of being tired is your body telling you something is wrong.
Eothein
ludwigk
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@redpyramidthing: Srsly!! I used to own a gaming LAN, and I was a Bawls reseller. Actually, I was Hobarama Corporation's only point of distribution for the state of Maine.
Strangely enough, I'm wearing a Bawls T-shirt right now, even.
ludwigk
y2kenjination
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@DangerChimp: Good point. I've been meaning to see one, but didn't think this was a significant problem.
y2kenjination
siblog
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I just stick with tequila, it keeps me wired and makes gameplay more fun, though sometimes I lose a few hours of memories
siblog
DangerChimp
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@y2kenjination: If you're chronically fatigued even after a full night's sleep, you could be suffering from anemia or a number of more serious afflictions. Rather than going to the store for another energy drink, I'd go to the doctor if I were you.
DangerChimp
mizmarie
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Am I seriously the only person who is somewhat flabbergasted at seeing this article here? I thought I was on a gaming site. I get that there is a tenuous link between gamers and energy drinks, but I'm here for gaming stories, not... I don't even know what this is.
Guess that new Gawker policy will lead to more of this, though. :/
mizmarie
RaveGamer
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
No Bawls? Jolt?
RaveGamer
bakedpigeon
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I just pop an adderall in and take a couple gulps of water and im good and wired for the next eight hours.
Oh ya, rockstar is the best.
bakedpigeon
axiomatic
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
When they make one that does not rot a hole in my stomach I might try one again.
axiomatic
wired_fenix
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Not sure if anyone else has mentioned it, but I enjoy the recent wave of fruit based energy drinks.
The Monster Khaos (orange/citrus) and the Rockstar juice ones are the best and go down easy since they taste good. I also enjoy the Monster Coffee based energy drink that hit a few months back.
But in all cases, do not drink energy drinks at room temperature. Cool those puppies down first! ^_^
wired_fenix
frankstallone
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Glasseater:
I have to agree. The excitement of the SNES was enough to keep me up for well over 24 hours.
frankstallone
y2kenjination
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
uhhh ok...didn't mean to hit submit.
Anyhow, I found that it's a very bad idea to mix various energy drinks.
I tend to drink energy drinks quite often, 'cause I'm feeling fatigued all the time (even after 7 or 8 hours of sleep a night). It seems like energy drinks are just about the only things that can wake me up. So what I'd like to know is exactly how bad is it to drink energy drinks on a regular basis?
and Fahey...Monster? Seriously? I can't stand that crap. It's all about Red Bull (Jaeger bombs ftw), Amped, No Fear, and Rockstar Pomegranate.
y2kenjination
jeffx
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
amazing article, really. I am a big fan of Rockstar and Red Rave (probably Canada-only). Of course, I love straight up coffee as well, and regularly consume 2 to 3 cups a day.
jeffx
floppylobster
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I drank energy drinks for about 10 years solid. Until I started suffering from depression, memory loss without them, and now have high blood pressure. I'm sure there're other things could have caused those symptoms but once I broke free of my slight addiction I haven't missed them.
Red Bull used to make a muscle in my back twitch too. It wouldn't usually happen until about three nights after I'd been drinking it. Took me ages before I realised the cause.
The best way to pull an all-nighter is to get up in the afternoon.
floppylobster
y2kenjination
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Did you get sick afterwards? After endless all-nighters for college exams, I learned that it's a very bad idea
y2kenjination
DARK DVNT [XBL];8908-2379-8728-6953 [Wii]
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I agree, don't make them a habit. I personally perfer homemade tea or any tea. The kind you have to make not buy in a can. But when I have to get my gaming fix in i will resort to a BooKoo. They taste good and don;t murder my stomach later on.
DARK DVNT [XBL];8908-2379-8728-6953 [Wii]
billygoat117
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Great article, Fahey. I was actually having this exact conversation last night with some of my buddies. I've never tried Monster before but I think I'm going to go grab one right now.
billygoat117
Meuacan
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Well, my search for the mythical Cocaine has returned fruitless. Apparently, it's easier to find REAL cocaine than the energy drink down here in Miami. It's like I'm looking for the holy freaking grail or something.
Anyone in the 305 manage to find a store that sells them? I'll go as far as Kendall or Hialeah (shudder) for it.
@badasscat: I stand corrected.
Meuacan
Akmed
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
AMP. or just plain old MD
Akmed
tazz77
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@CyricZ: I tried it and was not too fond of it, I think it had something to do with that concentrated sugar cane juice or whatever it was.
tazz77
Hoppasaurus
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
No one has mentioned SPIKE???? That shit is so strong half of the can is a freaking WARNING LABEL. It's the size of a red bull can, HALF A CAN (RedBull size can) is about as potent as a FULL POT OF STARBUCK'S! Careful, folks. People have actually had to go to the E.R. from drinking this stuff!
[en.wikipedia.org]
Hoppasaurus
Konatsu
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@tk.: Electrolytes, Turbolytes, Powerlytes, more -lytes than your body has room for!!
Konatsu
fuchikoma
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@dilpickies:
That nicotine thing is a myth started by other energy drinks in the same category - or maybe a webcomic...
I can probably get the English ingredient list in about 2 hours when I get home though? It would probably have been stuck to the bottles to be sold legally here.
What happened in Canada was that it couldn't be sold as a soft drink because it was artifically caffeinated while not being a coffee or "brown cola." So the importer registered it as an over the counter medication (sold exclusively at 7-11 in the drinks section!) which I guess eventually motivated the normal channels to get the canned pop formula approved here. Don't know how, but Jolt was able to caffeinate the fruit flavors before that, but normal Mountain Dew has no caffeine here - or at least didn't last time I checked. :/
fuchikoma
toneroni
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
nice article...i generally stay away from this stuff though.
toneroni
jslay012
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
caffine pills, FTW!
If you like the energy drink buzz, may as well go right to the source. They are super cheap, too. 50 100mg pills are usually less than $5 at your local Walmart/target, etc. Be careful with them, though. Most energy drinks have less than 80mg of caffine.
But if you have to drink your rush, the newly re-launched Jolt energy sodas taste awesome (grape, cola, & orange at least) and have 220 mg per tallboy can. Good luck finding them, though. Here in boston they sell out as soon as they hit the shelves of the few 7-11s that do carry them. I have seriously considered ordering a case direct from the manufacturer. I can't believe no one else has mentioned it in this thread....
jslay012
Plan303e
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
OH YEAH, MONSTER.
Plan303e
Lone-Gun
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
For anyone wondering 5 hour energy is some really nasty stuff, on the other hand it works really well and doesn't make me feel sick even before playing football. If you do try it avoid lemon lime flavor its horrible and made me want to rinse my mouth out with acid.
Lone-Gun
badasscat
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@wildweasel: I agree with you and everybody else saying the same - if I was going to drink an "energy drink", it'd be coffee.
"Energy drinks" like these are to caffeine what wine coolers, Zima and Smirnoff Ice are to alcohol. They're energy drinks for people who can't handle a real energy drink, ie. coffee. At least in coffee, the caffeine happens naturally.
That said, too much of any of this stuff is awful for your body. And my opinion is, any amount of caffeine from an artificial source is too much.
badasscat
Slint
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Great read. Enjoyed it. :)
Slint
DangerChimp
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Gee, I wonder if any large beverage companies sponsored Kotaku this week? Could this "story" idea have originated outside the Kotaku Towers? Hmm. I wonder what sponsors Kotaku will list at the end of the week.
I may be wrong, but for a gaming Web site, an energy drink feature seems kind of random -- not to mention potentially lethal. You're not supposed to drink more than 2 Red Bull-sized cans of taurine-containing beverages in a 24 hour period.
Hope the projectile diarrahea wasn't too painful, dude.
DangerChimp
SeanBradley
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Excellent review of the products at hand. I tend to get tired of drinking the same concoction for too long so I've developed a penchant for trying EVERYTHING on the market for variety.. You had a few on there I've never had, but I didn't see any of the lower shelf, store brand drinks there either..'cept the Rooster Bosster maybe.
Bawls isn't worth listing in my opinion, it's just a weak drink in a pretty bottle.
Well done sir, now get some rest!
SeanBradley
Neuromancer
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Yeah I agree with Jive238, not only because 238 is my magic number, but also because Brawndo Has What Plants Crave. The omission of the energy drink from the future is inexcusable.
Neuromancer
redgopher
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I'd agree with Monster -- that stuff works well. So does Lost, and Rockstar Juiced. I highly recommend the latter.
For those wondering, Bawls is a pretty mellow drink. It's mainly just a fizzy guarana beverage so you don't get the intense buzz of the drinks that throw everything in.
And I'm sorry you had to drink Cocaine. Try checking YouTube for the.. I think Daily Show, or Colbert, video of the interview with the guy who made it. It's hilarious.
redgopher
Kenoji
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
What about Vitamin energy?- its all I use for the most part.
Those others are chalked full of high fructose corn syrup, which is bad, and produces the same after taste.
Kenoji
dilpickies
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@fuchikoma: Thai Red Bull is great. Tastes just like cough syrup. They also lace it with nicotine there, too.
dilpickies
Cenobite
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Ahhh... I remeber "JOLT" used to be the go-to for all nighters.
Cenobite
BOMxAgonyxScenex
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
do people really need energy drinks? weak weak fools
BOMxAgonyxScenex
Giolon
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
WTF? How could you leave Bawls out of the lineup?
Giolon
Mort
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
One thing that puzzles me, Mike.. You tested all these fancy-shmancy energy drinks and ranked and graded them all, but you didn't include good ol' coffe in the test...
What the hell..?
Espresso should be in there aswell.. Just saying.. My espresso machine might be my best investmen ever..
Mort
RRoD
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
WATER WINS!
RRoD
tk.
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
What about POWERTHIRST™? It will make you so fast that Mother Nature will be like "Sloooow dowwwwn!" And then you'll kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!
SCIENCE!
ENERGY!
SCIENCE!
ENERGY!
Prepare to be uncomfortably energetic!
tk.
jive238
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Linnard:
Already did a Brawndo ad a few posts back. Repost for EMPHASIS!!
BRAWNDO THE THIRST MUTILATOR
jive238
Wei
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Bawls can be found at most grocery stores from NY to FL and even OK...It's great frozen/slushy
Wei
wildweasel
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
You know, for an average gamer that isn't incredibly active (or hell, anybody for that matter), a nice tall glass of water is usually enough to keep the body going. You aren't putting any of that crazy stuff in your body, and yet you're keeping yourself nice and hydrated, and your body is able to work more smoothly. What's a couple bathroom breaks once in a while to that, huh?
And besides...if I wanted something specifically for an all-nighter, I'd have to agree with Nickatiah above in saying that coffee is good. Remember, most household coffee has a decent water content as well. Just at least put a little sugar or milk in it, unless you're going for the "Cocaine"-esque bitterness.
wildweasel
badasscat
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@MrMcdoobie: I just drink water and piss
Dude, that's pretty nasty.
badasscat
beezdeez
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
How about a hippie speedball?
beezdeez
Furious_Liver
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
...Ginseng ay... >_>
Furious_Liver
MrMcdoobie
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Man, I drank Cocaine once and that shit burrrrrrned. Not to mention it gave me a stomach ache shortly after. I just drink water and piss - getting up to piss is inconvenient but it'll keep you awake and let you know that your penis is working.
MrMcdoobie
Centy
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I'll stick to nicotine and lucozade thanks.
Centy
badasscat
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Meuacan: Alcohol is a depressant, never a stimulant. Doesn't matter what else is in it or how it's made.
badasscat
Meuacan
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@badasscat: Why not tequila? It's a stimulant.
Meuacan
badasscat
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
So I guess I'm the only one that drinks large amounts of alcohol while he games?
Who needs a stinkin' energy drink? I need depressants!
badasscat
Madeira
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Ajh: Doubleshot is awesome, but for the uninitiated, be mindful- for me it's a guaranteed trip to the throne within a half hour.
Madeira
mangoboy
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Awesome article Mike, thanks and please do some more (if your nerves can handle it!) Also, as someone that is sensitive to caffeine, are there any caffeine-free energy drinks?
mangoboy
Meuacan
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@ajay42: "You'll get caffeiene and you'll stay hydrated you'll probably still have a sperm count afterwards too."
I DON'T NEED BABIES!
Meuacan
Zeouterlimits
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Monster Energy it is....
Now where the heil can I get it in Ireland...
Zeouterlimits
FrigidAir44
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
You forgot the energy drink owned by Nelly: Pimp Juice. This comparison is null and void in my book. /sarcasm.
FrigidAir44
ajay42
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
No one ever mentions how incredibly tired you will get from being dehydrated drinking these things. Thats why they almost never work past an hour or two, once the initial rush has warn off, you will be incredibly dehydrated and tired, but unable to sleep cause of all the stimulants pumping though your system.
If you absolutely have to stay up just put on an ongoing pot of brewed (not tea bags) black tea (like assam, or ceylon, etc.) and just make unsweetened strong iced tea. You'll get caffeiene and you'll stay hydrated you'll probably still have a sperm count afterwards too.
ajay42
AznSmith
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
This made my day. Although, the thing about Red Bull is that it is an acquired taste. I have a friend who's pretty much hooked on the stuff. While I agree that Monster may taste better, that's not saying much because you have to drink twice as much for the same effect which is really annoying considering all drinks of that nature are pretty awful. I would have to say my fave right now is "Hyphy Juice". It tastes exactly like jolly ranchers. check it out at a 7/11 near you. I know it sounds like i drink a lot of this stuff but i really don't maybe like a can a month if the mood strikes during a time when I am both near or in a convenience store and i am not broke
AznSmith
Meuacan
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@gpryu: You sire, are out of your fucking mind. Just taking those things are enough. Plus I've chained up to four before. Not good on ye olde stomach. Ends up doing flips and whatnot.
I'm leaving right after I finish this message to the local Publix and/or gas stations to find the elusive Cocaine drink. I want the burn. Now.
Meuacan
Linnard
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Oh, and dangit, WHERE'S THE BRAWNDO?
THIS ISN'T A FAIR TEST WITHOUT BRAWNDO!
BRAWNDO'S SO INTENSE, IT'S MAKING ME TYPE IN ALL CAPS, AND I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD ANY YET!
Woo. That much electrolyte makes my throat burn.
Linnard
gpryu
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Scruss: I think I've had it once or twice... it's ok if I recall. I'll still swear by the Upshot or Redline if I need a mega dose of caffine :)
gpryu
DranzerKire
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I have never drank a energy drink before, just give me some water or juice and I would be fine gaming.
DranzerKire
RobKramble
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Yeah, you should try out some Bawls and Sobe Adrenaline Rush. Both pack a good punch and taste great.
Awesome Feature!
RobKramble
Majorasblaze - I have words after my name and you can't stop me
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Water.
The perfect energy drink.
Majorasblaze - I have words after my name and you can't stop me Kirbyslayer!
Linnard
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Nickatiah: Hence why I only drink the no-carb/low-carb variations. Sure I lose out on a few flavours, but I'm happier in the end. That, and I'm diabetic, so the whole "not imbibing sugar" thing comes into play, I guess.
When I worked evenings in a call centre, I used to be the monstrous caffeine junkie of legend and lore. One night I went through two packs of Jolt Energy Gum ("a cups of coffee" in two pieces), two Red Bull No Carbs, and a Jolt Energy++ Tall Boy. I couldn't close my eyes, they were so bloodshot, and I lose some feeling in my face. But man was I awake!
(I'm actually a mild caffeine addict. College was baaaad for me in a lot of ways.)
Linnard
gils0n
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Haha I have a can of Cocaine drink in my desk next to me at work. It's been there for ages...bought a case from them like a year ago. And he's not kidding, this shit burns your throat and would de-grease an engine. But damn does it kick you in your ass! Has me sweating after one sip.
gils0n
Arcturian
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
That Cocaine/No Name drink sounds cool. I like the burn. In my face.
Arcturian
NeverSage
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
There's always Sparks! It's like an energy drink beer.. tastes pretty bad, but fun!
[en.wikipedia.org])
NeverSage
Ajh
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Starbucks double shot espresso in a can....ounce per ounce it contains more caffeine than monster and, seeing as how I don't like carbonated drinks. I stop and get one when I just can NOT wake up before work.
But I don't need energy drinks for my gaming. Plain tea or water is the way to go...the higher the boost on the energy drink the harder the fall will be and no one wants that screwing up their game.
Ajh
KaneTaker
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Bawls, as said, is rather tasty and works well. Hate the HFCS, though. The diet version is still tasty and uses Splenda (boo on Nutrasweet). Diet Monster is Splenda based as well and good.
Java Monster on the other hand does NOT use HFCS and is VERY tasty. Its a nice slow energizing drink rather than a kicky buzz. A can keeps me going from breakfast till lunch after a late night easy.
KaneTaker
Khabi
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Mike:
"Taste: Strange. I have tasted this before but I cannot quite place it."
Seriously, I thought the same thing when I had it the first time. I figured out what it was the next day. Liquified Nerds Candy.
Seriously, go buy a pack of Nerds, and try the drink.
Thats litterally why i love that drink so much.
Khabi
Schmatz
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I liked this topic better when Lowtax wrote about it on SomethingAwful. Those were, of course, loaded with satire, but pretty funny.
Schmatz
GhaleonUnlimited
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Wow, pretty comprehensive.
Coffee = the original energy drink
GhaleonUnlimited
ChewyChew
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
"I know it's trying to be some sort of fruit, but it's not making it."
Best taste description I've ever read hahaha.
ChewyChew
smitty1123
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Oh, and all pale in comparison to good ol' coffee.
smitty1123
Zombie_Crunch
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Hey Fahey, I wonder if your assessment of the final half of the energy drinks might be skewed lower based on your body building up a short term tolerance to these drinks in the first half of the weekend...
...I don't drink things that contain caffeine at all. If I tried to drink any of these I think I would die...
Zombie_Crunch
smitty1123
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
The sugar-free version of No Fear tastes significantly better than the regular version.
smitty1123
Scruss
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@gpryu: I am suprised not to have seen bawls up there. Isn't that stuff supposed to be 100% caffine?
Scruss
RBecho
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I have to agree that Monster is the best energy drink I have. Though I have about 1-2 a year (not even for the energy, just for the taste). Odd that it's yellow now, I could have sworn it looked purple to me when I first got it like 4 years ago (though I didn't take it out of the can to look).
RBecho
Nickatiah
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
All that stuff is loaded with calories and carbs. If you ever want to be healthy you should avoid these things and just stick with black coffee.
Nickatiah
gpryu
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Meuacan: Upshots are roughly the same as the 5/6 hour energy shots. Although I've found Upshots to have a better high and nastier crash. Especially when mixed with red bulls or other energy drinks.
gpryu
Zombie_Crunch
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Islandkiwi: Who knew Gamers were so Emo?
Zombie_Crunch
Raziel3333
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
i still drink Moutain Dew, Coffee, Tea, and Vault over energy Drinks.
Raziel3333
Madeira
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@jermjerm: That's my choice caffeine drink if it's around. Other than that, green Monster.
Excellent feature!
Madeira
ichiban1081
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I remember the whole debate over cocaine here in NY. My co-worker and I (Y2Julio) went on a frenzy looking for the stuff all over NY and couldnt find 1 can of the elusive red can. Hmmmm, maybe we will go hunting for savage and cocaine, waddya say y2julio?
ichiban1081
krylonultraflat
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
So by test #8 were you typing so fast your keyboard caught fire? Just wondering.
krylonultraflat
uppitycracker
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Full throttle all the way! I gotta disagree tho, its the only energy drink that keeps me up but at the same time doesnt make me wanna crawl out of my skin. I love that stuff, cant work a day without it.
uppitycracker
MrBionic
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@jive238: And you've had what.. 10 of them this morning? lol
A Monster Truck you can pour into your face FTW!
MrBionic
MrBionic
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Deadeyereborn: Here's a link for you, just for giggles:
[home.cogeco.ca]
MrBionic
jive238
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
OMG man this list is FAIL! All you need is BRAWNDO the THIRST MUTILATOR!Its like a MONSTER TRUCK you can POUR INTO YOUR FACE! Its got ELECTROLYTES!!! I don't know what that is but brawndo is completely FULL of them. Its also got caffeine in it, SUPER EXTRA CAFFEINE!! and FIVE KINDS OF SUGAR! which makes it DELICIOUS! and much better than other energy drinks that are NOT DELICIOUS!!
Ok rather than continue just follow the link for the resulting hilarity [Brawndo AD] don't blame me if you end up KICKING EVERYONE'S ASS ALL THE TIME!
jive238
Cyber
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Cell9song: Real men have Y-chromosomes. I'm pretty sure that's where it ends.
I love coffee, but it, as would any warm/hot drink, often relaxes me rather than energizes.
Cyber
Meuacan
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I drink the 5/6 hour energy shots. Fucking WIRED. Not in the bad way, either, 'cause there's no crash at the end. Though the taste says it's 'Lemon/Lime', that's a load of bollocks. Tastes like a cross between Equal/Sweet 'n Low, one drop of lime juice, and something akin to the sweat gathered from someone's ass crack.
Horribly VILE substance, but does the trick when needed. Now I just have to find this "Cocaine" and chug down. I haven't been this excited about an energy drink since Bawls.
Meuacan
MrBionic
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Deadeyereborn: You *can* get milk in plastic bladder like bags, but it's far from the usual way to buy it. What you do is buy a plastic jug that the bag fits vertically into, and then you snip off a corner of the bag to pour. It's generally for families that go through a lot of milk in a sitting and have storage issues in their refrigerator I guess. 90% of people buy milk in the usual carton or 4 liter (gallon) jugs.
MrBionic
Arthois
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@Deadeyereborn: Confirmed.
Arthois
ZinkO: Neo-Confucian Literati '08
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
:( think you just took about a month off your life, Fahey.
ZinkO: Neo-Confucian Literati '08
Atilla_the_Nun
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Sorry. I'm old school. Nothing but a six-pack of good old Canadian beer for me during my gaming sessions. Reaction times? Who cares about stinking reaction times!
Atilla_the_Nun
ShawnC++
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
What about Jolt? It's been around for ages, though only the Blue Raspberry tastes good it has one wicked, well, jolt. But after about 5-6 hours be prepared for a HARD crash. Not sure if it's available outside of the east coast since it's made in New York.
ShawnC++
Wolfgeist
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
No Fear is my personal nectar of choice, followed by Adrenaline Rush. There also used to be a snapple elements drink by the name of Venom. I always used to get it when I had a sore throat, since when you drank it, it left a very cold, chilling feeling in your throat that lasted for a good 5 mins or so. Tasted great too, too bad it tanked.
Wolfgeist
Eagle Epsilon [ZTF]
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
No love for MDX?
Eagle Epsilon [ZTF]
Edpsx
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
@GPRYU
I also recommend this about Redline, its nuts! Its actually two servings in that little bottle.
Edpsx
redpyramidthing
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Seriously, where is the Bawls?
I know game companies that pledge allegiance to the United States of Bawls every morning.
redpyramidthing
NinjaBurg3r
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I'm quite fond of all the Full Throttles and anything Monster. I never have liked Red Bulls though. It has a really weird taste to me...
NinjaBurg3r
gpryu
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
If you really want a kick, hit up Whole Foods and grab an Upshot or Zengergize Energy. Upshots are mini-energy drinks that have more kick than anything on this list. Zenergize are emphervesant (sp) tablets that dissolve in a bottle of water. The energy tablets have 1710mg of the same stuff found in most of the drinks on that list.
Or just hit GNC and grab some Redline... one of the only energy drinks that recommend you not drink it all in one sitting.
gpryu
Vegan Shinigami
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Sadly, I am an energy drink fiend, and probably well on my way to diabetes. The only one of the drinks reviewed available in New Zealand is Red Bull, but the energy I drink daily is called V. Its super delicious, but as far as I know its only available in New Zealand and Australia. So very delicious....
Damn, i'm going to the supermarket now.
Vegan Shinigami
Edpsx
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Adderall is the winner, followed closely by Redline.
Edpsx
Uzilover
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Imagine the conception of the brand "Cocaine"
I want to work in a balls-out marketing group like that
Also , I had 6 of those "rockstar" drinks before a party on friday
It's was great but I could hardly move the next day
Uzilover
Konatsu
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
Not a big fan of energy drinks. Whenever I do get one, it's usually Amp and it's because I like the taste.
Other than that, I was given a free Monster at the college bookstore and I didn't like it.
Red Bull is actually pretty terrible in my opinion and seeing as how the first time I got really drunk (throwing up and cursing God even though it was solely my fault), I don't really want to see it ever again.
A few others are pretty good, in my opinion, but I'd rather have black coffee or iced tea. Now if I could only stop drinking sodas so much...
Konatsu
Kid_Kitten
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08
I don't drink these often, but I prefer Amp or Bawls (which shouldn't be too hard to get ahold of, doesn't Target sell it?) I'm not really a fan of the flowery tasting ones. Anyway, congrats on ravaging your body this weekend.
Kid_Kitten
NewSc2
Posted 1:04 PM 5/2/08