As if you don't waste enough of your time in a gamer's haze, here's Kotaku Australia: a gamer's guide that goes beyond the press release. Blogging the latest gossip, cheats, criticism, design, prediction. Don't get a life just yet.
The Princess Peach Freeze Frame to End All Peach Freeze Frames
Last week, we posted Princess Peach and Zelda's Super Smash Bros. Brawl upskirts. That was risky. Now, we bring you this compromising Peach SSBB shot that isn't just risky, it's MAXIMUM RISKY. You've been warned!
I think it is soooo disturbing that someone would bother to do that. And that's not just me as a lay person, that's my qualified clinical interpretation.
You know, if Nintendo was smart, they would go the Microsoft Xbox Live route, and sell individual colored underwear for Princess's Peach and Zelda for 1.99 a pop.
I'm sure they'll make an easy few million from perverted Nintendo nerds everywhere.
i think i will have hours of fun trying to position the characters in naughty situations.
snake and peach.
hrmm.
that doesn't sound good at all.
XD
it just got severly dirty in here.
If that's your idea of the ultimate internet surprise, then you have a whole internet to explore, my naive friend. I can already tell that you haven't even Googled "bondage" yet. And that's doesn't even scrape the surface of internet sin.
Well, its not different in any significant way from the last video. I wonder if they made the model like that expressly so that some dudes could do this with it.
@thejakeman: probably disagrees with you: I get the fact that it's a upskirt... i get the fact that it's Peach. I was just saying that the internet will never surprise me ever again.
I'm really not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I'm impressed knowing that the developers put that level of detail into something that the overwhelming majority of players won't ever see.
On the other hand I'm kinda disturbed someone bothered to check.
see, that's why anytime im hitting grandpappy's cough syrup a bit too much, i resolve myself to go play Rez, or fall asleep trying. i find myself in a lot less of the "asking friends about the electric slide" situations this way.
@TheIrishNinja: I just got re-acquainted with what my texting looks like when I'm drunk this weekend and how much fun it is to drunk dial people, so what that sentence would have come out as drunk is fresh in my mind still.
"Do xou know the electric slide cuz i sure as hell dont. at least not now. where am i" and "I dont knfw.im drunk oaff my lady hump" were two of the text messages I sent. I'm not even quite sure what the second one means. I don't even think I have "lady humps."
Who's the bigger perv, the person trying to see up a video game character's skirt, or the art team that gave her lacy underwear? The previous, while creepy, is perfectly common, and I'm pretty sure we all tried to do it in middle school, although most of us wouldn't post it on YouTube and let everyone know that we're pervs. We'd be content to let people think we're pervs instead. The later... Well, they devoted time to deciding what kind of panties she'd be wearing.
I was watching this video while listening to Elliot Goldenthal's "Adagio" from the Alien 3 soundtrack. The reveal happened just as the music swelled. For that reason alone, this clip is epic.
Lol that's ridiculous. I think it would have been funny for them to put on some ridiculous easter egg panties or something. Like a 1-up mushroom print or something. Or a star with "superstar!" written on her ass or something. Lol.
@UnJamma6096: Whats wrong with it? It's funny as hell that someone would really go through the trouble. This isn't news site bro. it's a blog. Get used to it or go read something else not as entertaining as Kotaku.
You know, they were either so interested in putting in the detail or they had to know some people would look.
Take WoW for example: When your character is in a gown/robe (female or male... I think), the bottom half of your model is reduced to the robe and your feet. There are no legs. It's probably done for efficiency, though(reducing the polygon count as much as possible / no need to render what isn't being seen?).
I think it may just be Brawl's attention to detail... And yet Falcon still has sharp, triangle eyes on his mask...
At least there is something there. Imagine how odd it would be to somehow pause the game and catch Peach in the air like that, but mysteriously there is an empty black pot where her undies would be. Or even more bizarre, a mushroom...
While the Peach video was amusing for the obvious reasons, one of the related video links was a Pantsu AMV. I highly recommend it. I had me a hearty lol with that.
Silly japanese game developers. Look like somebody needs a hobby. The great thing is that they had legions of acclaimed developers working on this title, and the creators of the characters themselves were evaluating every wireframe and texture, and this is what they came up with.
@TheIrishNinja: I like to live dangerously. Besides, it wasn't like I was just sitting at home drinking by myself. I was at a shrimp feed and in between the band's sets they had background music playing and the electric slide came on and no one was up doing it.
View: AU Comments (2) | US Comments (159 comments)
I think it is soooo disturbing that someone would bother to do that. And that's not just me as a lay person, that's my qualified clinical interpretation.
Yeah, thats pretty messed up
Its fucking Super Smash Bros
It's funny when you freeze it randomly and see pikachu with its head up someones ass, but this is just wrong.
Don´t let FOX see that!
zorniki
looks like granny pants
blarneybutt
That is just pathetic.
/Has virtuagirl running on my desktop right now
bigdonthedj
And yet mario never got to hit that.
altshiftM
thats sad
finder39
Now we know why the delay, had to get the underpants just right.
baronsmeg
Finally, we now know why she's called "peach"
Cruithne
@munkah:
It's pink for pink outfits.
Coldbrand
Wow. That's just pathetic.
Evil Jim
Someone has WAY too much time on their hands. Now everyone is gonna do Peach/Samus/Zelda threesomes.
zerokoolpsx
I approve of this article.
The lace is nice.
DankPanties
Huh...and I wonder how Kate Muir think that video games turn men into babies. I don't see where she gets it.
Next time, I'd space this article further away from the babies one so that it's harder for anyone to pick up on it.
waterhand
Super money-shot bros!
This has been added to my YT favourites.
chiefpoopingpants
You know, if Nintendo was smart, they would go the Microsoft Xbox Live route, and sell individual colored underwear for Princess's Peach and Zelda for 1.99 a pop.
I'm sure they'll make an easy few million from perverted Nintendo nerds everywhere.
Funnydale
Forget this garbage, where's the Zelda/Samus/Peach threesome video!
Avinash_Tyagi
i think i will have hours of fun trying to position the characters in naughty situations.
snake and peach.
hrmm.
that doesn't sound good at all.
XD
it just got severly dirty in here.
evilralphwiggum
Saucy!
I can feel myself frothing even more!
2NinjasTapedTogether
@Shuricain: Better question, how many are NOT?
Sabre_Justice: Look, I have a long name too! Yay! I'm such a trend whore!
By the time it get out of Japan it will have been changed.
mrbill619
Kotaku needs to remove the Maximum Risky tag and just make it "Immature, or Not Appropriate For Work."
AndrewDB
Note to Kotaku: THIS BEHAVIOR SHOULD NOT BE GLORIFIED OR CELEBRATED.
(in the meantime, ROFLMAOing...)
HighlanderWolf
@RandalGraves:
NOOO~~ Marsia stole my precious thing is spreading!!
hiddenryuu
Damn how much fan fiction has just been sparked? I truly believe we just saw what mMario has been chasing all these games.
jackal888
The music makes this the best thing ever.
Lingxor
I wonder how many of you Nintendo fanboys are spanking off to that little gem right there...
Shuricain
@thecharlie: LOL, sticky indeed! MAXIMUM RISKY!
REDFIELD8
@TheDoomer:
You should go read more elaborate French literature, that'd show us all.
Coldbrand
Guess Peach is dabbling in gravure now. About time?
Do Kesubei
It's ok to look at this, because just look at the smile on her face! She's enjoying it!
baberg
@Balance_In_Life (PSN):
If that's your idea of the ultimate internet surprise, then you have a whole internet to explore, my naive friend. I can already tell that you haven't even Googled "bondage" yet. And that's doesn't even scrape the surface of internet sin.
MagickBocks
Well, its not different in any significant way from the last video. I wonder if they made the model like that expressly so that some dudes could do this with it.
Krytha
Aha so "Maximum Risky" is the new "Hot Tears of Shame"?
Ariolander
@thejakeman: probably disagrees with you: I get the fact that it's a upskirt... i get the fact that it's Peach. I was just saying that the internet will never surprise me ever again.
Balance_In_Life (PSN)
lol haha... you perverts.
magically_delicious
<--Still waiting for Zelda's and Samus' version of this...
onomeister
@NiGHTSSTUDiO: No, I'm sorry, I don't. Could you make that more explicit for me, please? Really, really explicit.
hikkifan1986
I'm really not sure how I feel about this.
On one hand, I'm impressed knowing that the developers put that level of detail into something that the overwhelming majority of players won't ever see.
On the other hand I'm kinda disturbed someone bothered to check.
DanteW
Ooooohhh yeah....I've got something white to go with that dress and those smooth, silky cream colored thighs, baby.
...AAAAAHHHHHHH!
Mr. Fap☆Fap!
And now we all know Princess Peach wears little white panties. Hurrah!
kupoporo
Yikes, and here I thought I was lonely.
Enimor
my pants feel so tight. I feel funny down there. help ><
Scum2k1
man Japanese people are pervs, the original pikmin theme brings back memories of christmas 01 at the snowy warm cabin...
npa.189
where's the hot tears of shame tag?
Zippidydoodaa
SHES PACKING!1!!!
JackTretton
This is indeed MAXIMUM RISKY.
TheCleaningGuy
@reywing: You know what's sad? I can see it happening.
thevengeanceoftheufo
Is it just me or does the music go perfectly well with the close-to-softporn still frame of Peach?
Trowble (XBL/PSN)
@ceilingFANBOY: now with 100% more fanboy: well, not now you dont. when you're drinking, you might've.
see, that's why anytime im hitting grandpappy's cough syrup a bit too much, i resolve myself to go play Rez, or fall asleep trying. i find myself in a lot less of the "asking friends about the electric slide" situations this way.
TheIrishNinja
It moved! I feel dirty
FlashIV
Man...that's pathetic...
/hits PrtScrn button
bigdonthedj
I bet Mario loves fixing Peach's plumbing, if you know what I mean ;P
NiGHTSSTUDiO
@TheIrishNinja: I just got re-acquainted with what my texting looks like when I'm drunk this weekend and how much fun it is to drunk dial people, so what that sentence would have come out as drunk is fresh in my mind still.
"Do xou know the electric slide cuz i sure as hell dont. at least not now. where am i" and "I dont knfw.im drunk oaff my lady hump" were two of the text messages I sent. I'm not even quite sure what the second one means. I don't even think I have "lady humps."
ceilingFANBOY: now with 100% more fanboy
Oh lawd, is that a penis?
For_the_lulz
@Insane_Penguin: Sure. Of course you don't.
Are some of you really that incapable of finding a girlfriend or, what? It's Peach. Geez.
thevengeanceoftheufo
What else is this game for? I thought this was it.
Nex Antonius
FOX NEWS ALERT: Smash Bros. Brawl features erotic scenes with princesses, plumbers, and furry animals. Hide your children. Run for your lives.
reywing
Man I hope this doesn't get Nintendo to push it back more here.
Konchu
Still waiting for the Link upskirt.
...Not that I want to look, mind you.
Insane_Penguin
Looks like Nintendo's sexual awareness has finally stepped up to adolescence!
waitinthecar
So it is ok if it's Chun Li or Zero Suit Scarlett Johanson (err... strike that) Samus Aran but not if it's Princess Peach?
whiskey
@xRiOT: ha, what a riot!
......what?
JerrD74
@ceilingFANBOY: deleted the stuff after his name: i like your way of thinking, cause either way, we're hitting fetish paydirt.
TheIrishNinja
@goldwings: i sure as hell had a sticky note after watching that video.
thecharlie
A video? Really? a video?!
shazmuscle
sex...
violence...
...drugs?
King Seafoam
I wish it had a sticky note: You do well not to look up her skirt. Thank you for courtesy.
goldwings
The are no hot tears of shame here!
Thank you, Kotaku. Peach pantsu has made my night.
God, this game is going to rock...
MakoAoyama
Who's the bigger perv, the person trying to see up a video game character's skirt, or the art team that gave her lacy underwear? The previous, while creepy, is perfectly common, and I'm pretty sure we all tried to do it in middle school, although most of us wouldn't post it on YouTube and let everyone know that we're pervs. We'd be content to let people think we're pervs instead. The later... Well, they devoted time to deciding what kind of panties she'd be wearing.
thenino85
I'd tap that with my Toadstool
Hardcore1
I was watching this video while listening to Elliot Goldenthal's "Adagio" from the Alien 3 soundtrack. The reveal happened just as the music swelled. For that reason alone, this clip is epic.
crazyrabbits
Lol that's ridiculous. I think it would have been funny for them to put on some ridiculous easter egg panties or something. Like a 1-up mushroom print or something. Or a star with "superstar!" written on her ass or something. Lol.
serotoninzero
I wonder if peach makes the "enter pipe" sound while mario is doing her...
oh man. what the hell am i saying?
xRiOT
@Balance_In_Life (PSN): bit young, are yeh?
thejakeman: probably disagrees with you
So she finally went through the post-op. Good to know.
Philudo
Hot Tears of [[Redacted]]
half-beast
I thought the term was " risque' " ...
Or is there just a joke flying over my head right now?
brent_w
Yuki should have been there to protect any and all panty shots....
icepick314
Does anyone else see the the lacy fills on the panties?
Sigh.
Hot.
Tears.
....of Shame.
SSJPabs
As a pervert myself, even I have to say...
... are you that f$#$%@^ bored????
Enigma_20XX
I always thought it was weird that Peach was one of the only girls in the Mushroom Kingdom... at least she's more attractive than Toadette.
Xeneizes
I don't know why, but I felt compelled to watch. Oh I know why, I am also a pervert.
Kaine
@UnJamma6096:
Um is that really worth a comment?
Brian Ashcraft
i even saw some peach fuzz
har har har
GrooveChampion
@UnJamma6096: Whats wrong with it? It's funny as hell that someone would really go through the trouble. This isn't news site bro. it's a blog. Get used to it or go read something else not as entertaining as Kotaku.
Balance_In_Life (PSN)
Hmmm so thats where Mario lays the pipe...
hattori_DONso
@trevorb: Yes.
@UnJamma6096: Of course.
Saint Anima: Kotaku's Poetic Massacre
You know, they were either so interested in putting in the detail or they had to know some people would look.
Take WoW for example: When your character is in a gown/robe (female or male... I think), the bottom half of your model is reduced to the robe and your feet. There are no legs. It's probably done for efficiency, though(reducing the polygon count as much as possible / no need to render what isn't being seen?).
I think it may just be Brawl's attention to detail... And yet Falcon still has sharp, triangle eyes on his mask...
Konatsu
@UnJamma6096: Is this really worth getting banned for?
ceilingFANBOY: now with 100% more fanboy
god damn it!
i said i wanted her in the pink dress!
108
Is this really worth an article?
UnJamma6096
seriously?
trevorb
nice
shinko
Will anyone buy another copy of the game after this? Will I ever be able to look her in the eye again? Yeah, I'll just replay the video...
SorenKier
At least there is something there. Imagine how odd it would be to somehow pause the game and catch Peach in the air like that, but mysteriously there is an empty black pot where her undies would be. Or even more bizarre, a mushroom...
Saint Anima: Kotaku's Poetic Massacre
...when's March 9th again? Oh, right, it's on March 9th.
multimoog
This saves me from looking up porn later tonight while i have a meeting with "The Accountant"
ArmyofJuan
10/10. Winnah!
Soulgenesis
While the Peach video was amusing for the obvious reasons, one of the related video links was a Pantsu AMV. I highly recommend it. I had me a hearty lol with that.
RandalGraves
Silly japanese game developers. Look like somebody needs a hobby. The great thing is that they had legions of acclaimed developers working on this title, and the creators of the characters themselves were evaluating every wireframe and texture, and this is what they came up with.
Why can't we use our technology for good?
Nessman
My eyes! I'm blind!
dowingba
.
.
R
O
F
L
joelface
@TheDoomer:
/agree
EnigmaNemesis
oh noes my eyes are burning!!!!
Nintendo how could you!?, you have fallen in the same group as team ninja!
eL_BeRzERko
*palm to face*
Shindokie: Kotaku's Whore
Zelda is hotter.
Athest
...Sometimes I just really hate people.
TheDoomer
I would say this is a male phenomenon, but... some female friends of mine used to position Marth and Roy into sexual poses and take snapshots.
onidavin
Is it just me, or does it seem like someone even had the foresight to add a flowery, lacy top to her stockings?
ceilingFANBOY: deleted the stuff after his name
Truly, a new era in Risky.
Insomnia Bob
@TheIrishNinja: Or you could patent them while drunk and hope that they know that "Pokemon Incest Romp" was you trying to spell "Pikmin-inspired Porn"
ceilingFANBOY: deleted the stuff after his name
I prefer polka dots, but this will just have to do. ):
Kiwi Kamikaze
ヤバイな、それ。
myDingling
:SMH:... :clicks replay:
thisbeatisbadass
this is lawlcats caption worthy.
NessD12
This is really why I want this game.
Fetus_God_of_Love
I'm impressed at the detail on the frills of her undergarments!
amost
They literally have everything in this game.
JoBo
It was only a matter of time. Took longer than i thought.
ittekimasu
Jesus Christ... ummm it's a video game? I was gonna ask why but then I think of Furries and I no longer have questions for anything in life.
Balance_In_Life (PSN)
mario is one lucky plumber!
moremeds
You my friend, have a lot of time on your hands!
speedmike
Why did I watch that? Oh, wait I know. I'm a pervert.
Luis
*FAPFAPFAPFAP*
Figroti
*shakes head*
MrBionic
I wouldn't mind brawling in there. Give me that level!
sUKi
Hot tears of shame!
Mini-Boss
great, there goes my idea for pikmin-inspired porn. ive really gotta start patenting these ideas after i sober up.
TheIrishNinja
I wanna know what sick SOB actually took the time to show everyone Peach's granny panties.
GamestopPatron
I figured she'd wear pink, but there we have it.
munkah
What exactly was the point of putting frills in her underwear? Did they KNOW that people would be looking?
Mrevilbobguy
Coming soon for the ladies of Kotaku: Captain Falcon Crotch Shots.
Dudemeister
eh, I always thought she'd be more into thongs...maybe those are just her fighting shorts
Donutt007
Super Smash Brother Brawl: Hardcore
Developer: Team Ninja
Foxy_Blue
its really too bad there aren't negative achievements or something. -100 wii points for pantsu checking.
v00deux
OMG! It's that "customizable sodomy" I've been hearing so much about.
cporter603
@TheIrishNinja: I like to live dangerously. Besides, it wasn't like I was just sitting at home drinking by myself. I was at a shrimp feed and in between the band's sets they had background music playing and the electric slide came on and no one was up doing it.
ceilingFANBOY: now with 100% more fanboy
@speedmike:
Um, that's not time on his hands.
Zero_Beat
When we all don't epic fail, it's a win!
RJdog
I LOVE the music that goes a long with this. Somehow it makes this clip ten times more hilarious.
chriscamp
@kelptocratic:
I know, right? I would have preferred pink panties as well...
Gordon_Shumway
osht i've been bonnar'd
Seestoff
No pantsu tag Bash?
PlayingKarrde
Dude, I can't beleive I wasted 40 seconds of my life watching that. >.>
To be fair though, I was warned.
MangaDragon56
So sad that someone took the time to post that.
BigEh
the background music even sounds kinda porny now.
guy_jin
That Pikmin music just seems to add to the effect, for reasons I don't seem to fully understand.
Ban-Whipped
eh? is peach wearing stockings? if so, where is the garter-belt? talk about lack of detais.....er....not...that...i would know......
<_<;
>_>
Onizuka-GTO
Iam sorry but after SMG Rosalina is way hotter than Peach.
hot tears of shame>maximum risky
MURDERFACE
That's just wrong.
Project Thanatos