@Kirbytheslayer: Thinks AAA is a great term: "First sign? He's ripped off stuff before. You know the captain planet thing? He stole that from the author of FullyRamblomatic.com "

You mean Yahtzee has stolen stuff from his own website? The fiend!

xot

@crapsh00t: Maybe he doesn't like playing multiplayer. There's a lot of people like that, you know.

Karlott

This is one heck of a review. Great job Yahtzee.
Cheers!

Mr. Garcia

winchester cathedral has pointy spires, i've seen them. [:

jerrt

Yahtzee has to be one of the most blunt game reviewers ive ever seen and i agree with him about the series.

MXs219

@Kai_: Call of the day

marcus_ivo

I love when the chef farts in my face after an excellent meal.

Nexus6

A triple cunted hooker? Yahtzee is an amazing game reviewer - the speed in which he speaks and the content he covers is hilarious and informative.

Shocky

Well done review as usual.

So where's the Wii RAMBO game where we just sit up-top a Jeep and continuously fire a 25mm cannon point blank at Myanmar soldiers?

m3rcer

@yoshinatsu: Because you can't spell "punctuation" and he appeals to highly literate people the most.

Kai_

@yoshinatsu:

Probably because you suck at life?

EternalGameNation

I really hope this guy never goes away. Even though I don't always agree with the guy, in fact I mostly disagree, it's always hilarious.

EternalGameNation

WHY do I hate Zero Punctiation SO MUCH??

yoshinatsu

bearded german porn star? glad it was just a stick figure...

be careful on the internet kids, you too could permanently blinded by such images.

mentally_unstable

@xot: First sign?

He's ripped off stuff before.

You know the captain planet thing? He stole that from the author of FullyRamblomatic.com

Kirbytheslayer: Thinks AAA is a great term

I can't believe nobody has mentioned this yet. And you all call yourselves gamers...

...Price's mustache is that way because he's the same Price that has been in every single COD game, so his stash is actually from circa 194X.

temporaryscars

Whoa. The reviews now have actual moving objects.

Frank

Loved the review, havent picked up COD4 yet but I plan to after seeing this. Also saw Rage Against the machine last weekend, bloody awesome.

Dyabolik

Hmmm. Yahtzee's first signs of hackdom? You be the judge: is "triple-cunted hooker" too close to Douglas Adams' "Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six"? Is it homage or is it unintentional plagiarism?

xot

@Kirbytheslayer: Thinks AAA is a great term:

He's just using Jesus as a symbol of perfection, nothing more.

Dudemeister

Holy shit. Boingo Boingo Whoopsy Knickers. Croshaw's angry, spite-filled penis. Chef farts in your face.

So much win every time these are posted.

Dudemeister

Ahhh! I'm confused. He considers Portal Slightly Less than Christ, and COD4 significantly less than portal, but he's an atheist.

So what does that mean?

Kirbytheslayer: Thinks AAA is a great term

This game review guy sadly I don't know his name w/e anyways I love his reviews because there negative even when there positive I found it absolutely hilarious.

themule

@tei:
Nah I think you got that a little mixed up Yatzee > Jesus
I mean sure Jesus was great at parties and stuff(dude always brought a ton of fish and bread disciples were just like "WTF we need some wings" though that Wine thing was kinda cool) but he was such a whiner, "Ooo I've got to die for your sins" and "I can't eat meat on Fridays" or "My Dad can smite your dad", never made anyone laugh

Now Jesus' Dad? Fucking Hilarious you've seen the Platypus and that hat he makes pope wear right? Classic

Laeg

I miss many dinners due to COD4... No, cheetos don't count as dinner.

tnx3

The marines own bravado leads to them screwing up? Are you serious? I would just, love, to see how that line of thinking connects. I didn't know interrogating the guy who nuked good soldiers and countless civilians makes them morally questionable pyschotic thugs. I'm now imagining Yahtzee running through a field of daises smoking a joint and giggling endlessley about how green and peacefull the world looks. I like what he has to say, sometimes. For the most part he's just a huge ass. And I'm just so, so, so sick of people 'finding' messages in CoD. It's like the Bible Code or some shit, Jesus.

Garro

he made a typo in the end credits. its "mac"tavish not "mc"tavish, i know this because people bug me every day on live even though ive had this tag for 4 years =[

mctavish01

@n/a: Oh belive me I have.
Got it from my brother for Christmas.

But I'd have to say the dialogue in that game is so bad that Malcom really doesn't stand out among the rest of the early 90s timewarp cast.

brent_w

@itsburnsie:
@tslothrop:

I'm in the same camp as the two of you.

It was a good game for sure,
but also the most overated of the year IMO.

Just like tslothrop, I've not touched it in ages.

.

And the multiplayer holds absolutely no interest for me as i perfer the jump in have some mindless fun and jump out approach to multiplayer games.

CoD4's online multiplayer has just complicated it too much for me to care about.
If I have the time & attention to devote to somthing more complicated then I'll be spending it playing the single player of a game I havn't beaten yet.

.

@Sunjammer: So true.
The "get to point B" to advance story irked me as well.

You could kill 0 enemies or 10,000, it doesn't matter, your real goal is just to get to the right spot and get a checkpoint so the enemies stop spawning and your AIs move to their next pre-scripted "holding patern".

brent_w

A guy who refuses to even discuss multiplayer in 2008 is about as relevant as a bronze age metalsmith. -2

crapsh00t

@FeendRendor: For a person who doesn't like multiplayer games, why would playing online be anything better?

Think about it.

Mr.DuckSauce

@Voteforme2020: yeah exactly. I have a believe you shouldn't talk about something unless you know something about it otherwise you end up sounding like that lady from Fox News talking about Mass Effect. Now I am not saying he is sounding that stupid but it is close to it.

Not to mention politics and video games do not mix.

taftsearlobe23

@brent_w: You should play UTIII. I never knew Malcom was the great great great grandson of Mc Hammer. :x

n/a

@Brian Crecente:

At least I'm not the only one who thought the stereotypical token black marine was rediculous.

brent_w

@Sunjammer: Thank you! That's been my exact sentiments on the series the whole time.

It's funny how on one hand, Yahtzee belittles JRPG's for being low on gameplay and forces the script on you, but that's exactly what COD4 does in the FPS genre.

I have to say that I give props in storytelling where it's do, but I should be allowed to play through a segment as a consequence of the story (Halo 3, GTA any number of games) or have a direct impact on it
(at least feel like I do like Oblivion or Mass Effect). The problem with COD4 is that it takes you by the hand and just to show you the next neato first person cinematic. Whoopee.

Delano_j

Whoa! Is it just me, or is Yahtzee getting more advanced with his animation? Did I just see some blur effects?

Dariendude17

His best review EVER.The whole thing was hilarious.lmao triple cunted hooker.Even the music was awesome.

kcgig101

White Stripes? Kickass.

Praising a game in his usual manner while comparing it to a whore? Kickass.

Using the term "German porn star?" Kickass.

This whole ZP episode was, as a whole, awesome, and it's a nice, albeit shortlived, change from his usual attack on all games he lays eyes on.

Ninja-Z

BOINGO
BOINGO
WHOOPSIE
KNICKERS

FlyLikeAMouse

Never played the single player stroy, i love the multiplayer...he missed big time the multiplayer part...

VeNoMmx

@The Wreckard: What spoilers; The nuke is in the attract movie for chrissakes.

I just thought it was about time for me to come in and say he needs to play the fucking game on veteran so he can see just how uselessly obvious the scripted teammate AI is. I'm far more interested his opinion of the game as one where your squad of 4 is more than happy enough to wait for you to run through the endlessly respawning 2 shots and you're dead russians looking for the next god damn trigger to make them actually come help you.

The player does exactly one thing in COD4; advance the script. Very rarely do the bullets you fire actually mean anything other than to clear a momentary path for you to charge through to reach the point where the russians stop respawning and your useless motherfucker teammates decide to come pretend like they helped. I've completed several sections of COD4 without firing a single bullet; apparently the standard operating procedure for the US Marines in clearing buildings is to send some dude running into the building first, wait until he's found the right spot to hide in, and then come charging in after him.

He seems more enthralled with the narrative than with the gameplay, which is just. It's a canny bit of storytelling, and i also loved the death scenes, but i like playing games god damnit, not just watching them happen when i move into the right spot.

Single player COD4 on veteran = a frustrating roller coaster. How is that even possible. Hard games should challenge you more, not just piss all over you and themselves, and also your cat.

Sunjammer

This one was ok, but not the greatest.

Personally I bought the game on steam and got to lvl 55 and don't know why people praise multiplayer so much. It rewards you for being Rambo and there aren't enough roles to play. I'll stick to TF2 and Tribes for my multiplayer.

qin

@balls187: Same here. I'm about halfway through the campaign. Huge spoilers in the review :(

The Wreckard

love the "just like in real life" quips.

i'd get this game, but i have a one-game-per-genre rule. that is, i won't buy a new game in a specific genre if i'm still playing and enjoying another game in that genre. it sort of undermines the replay value and investment I've made of the game i've already purchased.

example: burnout paradise might be good, but i'm still enjoying PGR4. and COD4 might be game of the year, but my FPS time is already split between halo3 and tf2, and that's already one too many.

teh_sideburns

I've not seen a lot of German porn so I don't know about the whole facial hair thing, but Griggs isn't NEARLY as bad as Augustus Cole.

RawSteelUT

@JackTretton: My wife.

Yossarian

I still don't have it and I've got a pretty good reason why. I feel like I have too many games right now and not enough time to dedicate to them all. Between TOB, Halo 3, Mass Effect, Rock Band, Brawl next month, and GTAIV the following, I'm just too damn busy.

And it's a shame since I've heard nothing but praises for it and I enjoyed the beta. Maybe I'll rent it and enjoy the campaign, seeing as my multiplayer shooter region is well covered with Halo 3 and TF2.

BolognaFire

I love how this guys reviews come out substantially way after the game has been released like he's just going off other peoples opinions and picks the majority or these are his actual thoughts? Anyway, who doesnt like COD4?? Anyone?

JackTretton

@Buttah: Is that better or worse than being a german porn star?

Yossarian

@TKWarrior: If I could grow a manly face of fur like that I would. :x

n/a

If Yahtzee thought Grimes was bad in COD4 he aint seen nothin yet until he gets a load of Malcom from UTIII.

That was just wrong I say. :/

n/a

@Skemo: TF2 would be comparable if only it more f-ing maps (360 version at least).

I loooooooved me some capture the intelligence, but there's only one map! I'll still go back and play it some more after I totally burn myself out on CoD4, but TF2 just can't last as long for me when up against CoD4's leveling and map variety*.

* - in this case, variety = > 1... I won't say that CoD is exactly bogging down my system with maps to play.

Yossarian

I totally agree on the point he makes about black people in war games. We usually fall into 3 categories: a vulgor loud-mouth who excessively uses the F-bomb, some kind of smooth talking con-artist, or a rapper.

Damn you, racism! /rant

Buttah

Dead on review, as always.
And that SAS guy's mustache creeps me out to no end!

TKWarrior

TF2 > CoD 4

Skemo

LOL awesome review once again. I hope he gets to do a review on No More Heros that would be funny to see.

MURDERFACE

---John Carmack----------------------Yahtzee---Jesus.

tei

@taftsearlobe23: He should realize that. People yelled at him before, especially when he got his information crossed and Nazi did have amazingly tall towers that they used. :o I guess he's stubborn.

Voteforme2020

It was just allright compared to his other reviews. I like it more when he completly hates a game and does a review. Still good all in all though.

justjake

I just want Rob Blanc 4.

DankPanties

I LOVE that Perfect chart/line.

AsWater

thank god he mentioned the black marine. his stereotypical dialogue bugged the crap out of me... I'm surprised Infinity Ward didn't have a black soldier in Call of Duty 2 named Amos.

Xamot

@thebigsmoke: ooooo ok.

y2julio

I love it. The man knows how to tear apart a good game; telling us how shitty he thinks it is, and then reminding us that it's still great.

Most would just say it's good or bad, but he says both (unless it's a horrible game)

Snake726

ehhh not bad I don't like it when he brings politics into it.

taftsearlobe23

I heart Yahtzee. Good choice for music at the end ><

That Girl Hates You

Oh Yahtzee you always know just what to say to cheer me up. Brilliant as usual.

Tzero7

@kastout: Sadly, I have not. Pick me up a copy?

Nex Antonius

@axiomatic:
@y2julio:

Videoegg is a hybrid between a flash-based video player system and an integrated ad network that no doubt delivers large burlap sacks with "$" stenciled on them to the offices of the Escapist weekly.

While the player is (IMHO) kind of buggy - it's absolutely based around the Flash Video Codec.

thebigsmoke

I like how he spends approximately 30 seconds reviewing the game and the rest of the video making more analogies. His reviews are starting to remind me of Family Guy episode structure.

Anthropomancer

I feel like im the only person who hasnt had the cod4 experience. ill be picking up a copy today

kastout

@axiomatic: I think they are the file's host or something
[www.videoegg.com]

y2julio

I wasn't blown away by CoD4, personally. It's fun, and well made without question, but at the end of the day, it's another multiplayer-based military FPS, which the market is absolutely flooded with at the moment. I still say Mass Effect, Bioshock, and Super Mario Galaxy all trump it in my personal GOTY list.

Stormrider

@axiomatic: *right clicks on file* mmm Wonder why it would show About Adobe Flash 9. mmmmm I wonder.

y2julio

I still feel possibly the best review he did was of the heavenly sword demo.

I think it is best when he reviews game that aren't terrible but aren't great either. Gives him enough to work with while still being funny instead of simply truthful.

Zim

@y2julio: well I just looked on another unit and it shows something called "videoegg" maybe its the real player on my unit picking up the flash file. not sure.

axiomatic

A really good review. I loved the COD4 - Portal - Jesus line, it really put things into perspective :) . I might pick it up after I'm done devouring Brawl. So in a couple years or so.

Tiger-Fever

I didn't like this review, cod4 is full of problems and flaws ( respawning,undestrctible wood windows, stupid allied ai, corridor type levels etc....) and the gameplay feels old... yes, the game is amazing, but even liking it you got a lot of bad thing to say about it. Is no good when the reviewer is a fan of the game he is reviewing...
Multiplayer is another story, there we have a winner without questions.
Anyway, i prefer people talking greatly about this game than about other fps that start with the letter h.... at least this game has conditions.

symphony_of_the_night

lol what a funny ass review... i have yet to pick up COD4, but ive played enough of it to know that this is GOTY for sure.

hypekills

Still need to try CoD4, but CoD3 was just such a turn-off for me.

PsycheDiver

@y2julio: are you on dope, look in the lower right corner of the screen. whats that? Oh its the "Real" logo.

goofball.

axiomatic

Yea, COD4s multiplayer WAS the greatest. But then Turok came out and all that changed because of dinosuars.

ArmyofJuan

I still don't have it yet...

But if it's like a triple-cunted hooker then I will get it. They're the best type of hooker.

SPni

COD4 is easily the best multiplayer shooter to come out in years. Honestly, my roommates and i played halo 3 until COD4 came out... and never looked back.

Mpalm.

@tslothrop: I never liked any of the COD , the only MOH i liked was MODheroes2 in the wii...

tocatl

Got to respect a guy that can confidently tell his viewers off. :)
We're so demanding!

opt2not

@Brian Crecente: But Portal came out this year too...

Great review yet again, but I'm surprised he wasn't more harsh on a 5 hour single player. From what I've played though, it is an excellent shooter, and I guess this just means a certain buy as soon as get a damn 360.

Krondonian

I really don't like it when he praises a game, I tend to give his opinion such weight that it means I am £30-40 poorer soon afterwards. I have a feeling that it is a case of karma, I often complain about reviews being far too generous to mediocre games, so when someone so hatefilled comes along it just makes me spend more.

Wych

Always a pleasure watching these.

phalanges

@CHU BOI: you're not the only one. i've neglected those great games too! lmao

kw4k

@itsburnsie: You're not alone. I also didn't love it.

I did like it, but I'm shocked that anyone would have put it up for GOTY. I finished the SP campaign in a day, don't think I've touched it (or even thought about it much) since then. And I don't play MP, so...

tslothrop

I would have liked to see the campaign be a bit longer in gameplay time, I felt the ending was well timed with the plot and was a proper end to a amazing game.

yashichi8bit

@Brian Crecente: the multiplayer alone was my game of the year. The only game to pry CoD out of my cold-dead kung fu grip was Rock Band. *sob* CoD even made me neglect No More Heroes, Halo, Super Mario Galaxy, and now *sniff* DMC4!

I have a problem.

CHU BOI

hahaha! omg! i love, i love, and i love his reviews.

"...like a triple cunted hooker" rofl!

kw4k

@y2julio: I did a mixture of the two. Beating the game, minus the epilogue, on veteran only took around 3 or 4 days. I still havent beaten that damn after-credits level on vet. yet!

Ra_on_the_Moon

I think it's a mark of Yahtzee's talent that he can make me laugh my ass off even when he likes something. Hating something and making it funny is easy, but enjoying something and making it funny takes skill.

Doomstalk

Hes outdone him self, its honestly the best one hes done since the console war one.
God i love these videos, i happen to be a big COD4 fan too.

LordChris915

@Ra_on_the_Moon: I beat the SP before touching MP because I knew I would never go back to the SP if I didn't finish it before.

y2julio

Oh i really liked this one! Alot of people i know havent taken the time to beat the campaign but it is alot of fun.

Ra_on_the_Moon

I still have to complete the story mode- but... just... cant... break away... from... MULTIPLAYER!!! XD

King Seafoam

@axiomatic: real codec? Dude, it's a flash file.

y2julio

God damn it. Spoiled the game for me.

Seriously I bought COD4 for the PC, and I've only been playing multiplayer.

I think I've played like 30 minutes of single player.

xd.balls[cac] on NFO:Seattle or AlterEgos

balls187

Anything that references German Porn Stars is awesome!

The Konamunist

@Deadeyereborn: Damn my spelling errors damn you!

Deadeyereborn

So frickin' hilarious!

n/a

Is it just me or does anyone else find that Zero Punctuation never plays? I click the play button and nothing happens, not even a buffering message.

photoboy

I think that one was his best since Mass Effect.

DigitalHero

Love zero punctuation but damn they need to dump the f-ing "real" codec crap!

axiomatic

@zaglis: That was a very well informed and thought out statment. Would you care to elobrate, as I do not feel like I have a full grasp of you're complexe take on this piece of entertainment.

Deadeyereborn

@n/a: I guess that means the universe exploded when he reviewed Portal.

xat

@El Patricko: If you watch his review of Halo 3, you'll see he really doesn't care about multiplayer.

nicopolitan

Does anyone else get a bug with Videoegg where, if you adjust the volume, the adjustment popup sits there unless you keep your mouse hovering over the mute button?

Doomstalk

Heh, so while CoD4 is good, Portal is only second to Jesus Christ Himself? I guess that's a fair comparison.

BPM 6th Mix MAX

argh, post the message :'(

Rickster773

@n/a: oh, hi N/A mod :D

Rickster773

Best Zero Punctuation yet! I loved the SAS commander mustache part. Good stuff. :-)

Dopeski

wow, I cant tell if he liked the game or not :P

Rickster773

God, I love that guy. Would have enjoyed hearing his take on multiplayer though.

El Patricko

Wow, not often he likes a game. But this game is definitely worthy of the Yahtzee liking

Jomo7

Good review, it seems he had a hard time finding stuff to hate on. :)

Nydrin

It's official...

EVERYONE loves this game but me. It's lonely here.

itsburnsie

I knew he'd love it. The campaign to COD4 is just that impressive, despite the fact that its short. It's too bad he doesn't do multiplayer because he might actually like COD4s online gaming.

FeendRendor

This is the day the earth explodes. Its a game that he almost didnt seem to hate!

n/a

This is almost certainly as hilarious as all the other Zero Punctuation reviews, but since I'm in the middle of class right now, it's probably not the best idea to turn up the volume and listen to Yahtzee's, er, colorful way of speech.

kylenalepa

Absolute SUCK.

zaglis

The CoD4 / Portal / Jesus chart, FTW.

Laxcat

See, I told you it was Game of the Year.

Brian Crecente

"Essen my scheisse"...
A tribute to SP?

MasterOfPastures

I have to wait until I get home to watch these, makes Wednesdays last far too long.

BTW, am I the only one who thinks a DVD compilation of these would be neat.

lowbar

"just as good as a prostitute with three identical sets of genitalia"

that's a metaphor I never thought I'd hear...

seafisch

I love how the US troops are carrying MP44s. I bet he did that on purpose the cheeky fucker. :D

n/a

brilliant like always, and the part with "must get messy around that time of the month" made me nearly fall off my chair.

BigBadBlender

Good one, chap. Although I found the moustache to be very fashionable. The chops are comming back, man!

MasterOfPastures

awesome! What a great little video series.

underthechestnuttree

"It must get messy around that time of month"

Oh, the horrible visual image that came about from that comment.. Laughter was also involved. But he visual won over the humor..

Definitely some interesting analogies in this..

--Core--

Is it just me or are his reviews better when he hates the game?

Syndicated Terence

@Lyner: Oh yeah I know, but this one is more unusual since he normally hates these types of games Id assume from his overall attitude with things. XD

Witzbold

almost as good as his guitar hero review... remember the line about the barb wire?!?!

RotatingRingKing

@n/a: He was all over Portal when he did the OB review.

Lyner

...can land anus first on the spire of Winchester Cathedral...

Laughed my ass off at that one.

Barts

I seriously want to sit down with one of you who really do hate these reviews and have you explain to me line by line why you don't find it funny. I am literally in tears because that was so hilarious. And to whoever mentioned it early, YES I'd buy a DVD of these.

unmarkedone

That part when he's bored at his computer and suddenly he has two sides to play on and it shakes up the singleplayer and he almost falls out of his chair, that, my friends, is pure gold.

I laughed and laughed hard multiple times at this one. Maybe his best yet.

unmarkedone

What a bunch of self-indulgent "look-at-me, I'm a witty writer who didn't get enough attention from mummy" bullshit.

rosse59

Essen die Scheisse

schmix

Best Review EVER. Exactly how I feel about COD4.

And White Stripes intro... and Rage Against the Machine

Project Thanatos

@taftsearlobe23: Agreed, I like ZP generally but his "America only did one good thing and now they are nothing but arrogant cowboys" shtick gets old and compromises the overall quality of the review. Though I guess Croshaw has done tours with the USMC and the SAS, since he knows what its like "just in real life."

CoD 4 however = Awesome.

neckpunchfist