Finally, a Wii commercial with a realistic pitch. This ad's part of a Worth1000 run going at the moment for old-school advertisement, and some of the video game ones - for the PS3, Xbox and Xbox Live, among others - are just great. Highlights in the gallery, more Photoshop shenanigans at the link below.

Last week, Guitar Hero III came out in Japan. The game sold something like 3,000 copies fore both the PS3 and the PS2. Ouch. Not surprising as guitar-based music games were popular in Japan nine years ago. Nine years ago? As game site Next Generation points out, that's the same number that guitar manufacturer Gibson pulled out for its legal suit. As Next Gen points out:

On the off chance you're still excited about this after learning it's just a spruced-up re-release of the budget line original, here's a trailer for Capcom's Lost Planet: Colonies. As you'd expect, both snow and battles against large monsters feature prominently.

Yep. I did it. Yesterday I went out and bought man-sweat scrubbing game — so embarrassing! (My wife even refused to buy it for me.) People may not know this, but I'm painfully shy. So doing things like buying suggestive games makes me red. Of course, I have no problem posting some seriouslyfuckedupshit. That's what we call "irony". Anyway, I'll be playing the game over the weekend, while staying at the in-laws so I can review it sometime next week. That's what we call "awkward".

PC gaming's dead! PC gaming's dead! The town crier runs down the street screaming that, ringing his fucking bell, on an almost daily basis these days, and while most townsfolk just nod their heads sombrely in agreement, one man's having none of it. That man? Sonly Online Entertainment boss John Smedley:

360 owners get access to the SFII HD beta when they pick up Commando 3. PS3 owners don't. That kind of discrepancy leads to questions, which left unanswered lead to thinking, then a wacky hypothesis, then most likely an ill-informed internet forum rant. Seeking to head that kind of rant off at the pass, Capcom have explained just why PS3 owners won't be getting access to the beta, listing reasons such as a finite number of resources, the fact a double-test would have pushed the actual game's release back months and the near-impossibility of running a cross-platform beta test. All very legitimate, all very sensible. None as sensible as this, though: this is a beta test. Not a demo. As Capcom's Seth Killian explains, "There is code parity across the two and any issues found in 360 will be fixed in PS3".
Reasons Behind No SSF2T HD Remix Beta on PS3 [Capcom]

Weird Preview of the Week: Blueberry Garden
Comment by: unmarkedone
Nominated by: hikergirl

So that's how baby party hats are made. I always wanted to know but was too afraid to ask.

Tesla coils, airships, yeah, we kinda expected that sort of stuff to feature in Red Alert 3. What was most vital for the game, however, was that it retain the previous title's most important aspect: the best damn live-action cutscenes this side of Wing Commander 3. And by best, I mean hammiest. So it's great to hear that, yes, things are definitely looking up on that front, with EALA's Chris Corry saying:

We really do think the live-action cinematics are a staple of the Red Alert series. We're going pretty full bore with the cinematics this time. We're going to have more than an hour of cinematics; it's almost a minimovie that we're shooting for this.

IESB.net has gotten their hands on a the results of a worldwide casting survey performed for the role of Prince Dastan in Jerry Bruckheimer's upcoming Prince of Persia movie, and from the questions asked and the audience reaction it certainly looks like there is a clear front runner. Both international and U.S. audiences overwhelmingly favoured David K. Zandi, motion picture executive, actor, champion equestrian, model, and honest to goodness Persian prince. One of the last male members of the Zand dynasty (1747 - 1779), David has also studied both fencing and Roman sword fighting in England, so the only way he could be better suited for the role is if he actually possessed control of the Sands of Time, which I am not completely ruling out at this point. Zandi beat out the likes of Cillian Murphy, Orlando Bloom, and Zac Efron in the audience poll, conducted between January 2005 and June 2007. Hit up the link for a complete rundown of the audience poll results.

IESB Exclusive: Prince of Persia Casting Report! [IESB.net]

You might want to think twice about keeping your credit card information stored on your video game consoles, especially after reading the cautionary tale of one Xbox 360 owner who unwittingly bought 15,000 Microsoft Points for a bunch of thieves. The story of Clinton's bad luck combined with bad judgment is a bit of a scary one. The Canadian gamer writes that he was robbed to the tune of about $US 25,000 when someone broke into his residence, swiping his Xbox 360, games and computer equipment, as well as the keys to his truck.

But it's the Points he's pissed about.

One would think that Star Trek and massively multiplayer online gaming are the chocolate and peanut butter of a nerdy good time. Whatever the outcome, it seems like money in the bank, regardless of the dominance of World of Warcraft. Still, it's been a rough go, with Star Trek Online festering at Perpetual until that developer gave up the ghost.

Are you ready to LOL? Agetec is bringing a new game to the Nintendo DS this May that is exclusively local mutiplayer! LOLing yet? Yes, the name of the game is LOL, and here's how it plays. One of the players in the room writes up a crazy challenge on their DS, sets a time limit, and then the other players in the room use words and pictures to answer the challenge, with the whole group voting on the winner who then goes on to the next challenge. It sounds like it could be a ton of fun...granted you have a bunch of friends who each own a DS and regularly get together all at once. Sounds like it could be fun to play at parties, but then again you could just do the same thing with scraps of paper and a timer and you wouldn't have to spend money on anything other than pens. I just cannot see a local multiplayer exclusive working over here. Remember Ping Pals? Yeah. Me neither.

Nintendo may just be getting around to circulating the word on WiiWare, its answer to Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network games, but Develop says the company has been "keenly capitalising on publicly-aired frustrations with Xbox Live Arcade" to boost interest. How so? By offering attractive royalty rates to developers, something Microsoft has reportedly halved recently.

Capcom has released new media and in-depth details on Street Fighter IV's new characters. First up, Crimson Viper, whose moves are revealed to be the Thunder Knuckle, Burning Kick and Seismic Hammer. She's also the only character to have a special high jump (courtesy of jump jets in her boots...) and comes with two combos, Emergency Combination and Burst Time. Details on all of Viper's moves are after the gallery, which features 24 new screens of the American fighter.

To: Ash
From: Crecente
Re: Happy White Day!

I managed, with the help of one Dave Thomas, to reinvigorate my monthly poker game. It's sort of laughable to call it a monthly game since we've only actually had it once. Everyone was always too busy to make it and finally we stopped trying. This time around we gathered together a bunch of developers to play poker, reasoning that at least we all have the same sort of conference and travel issues. Tonight's our first game.

What you missed:
Cop Called Out On Blaming Violent Games
Holocaust Survivor Criticises WWII Game
The Xbox Live Police
Ninja Reflex Review: Cut To The Quick
Grand Theft Auto IV Has 15 Multiplayer Modes
Another Story On Wii Making Everything Better
From A Sexy Assassin to Xtreme Crusades
The Intern Has Left The Building

Square Enix's output on Wii's Virtual Console has been pretty light. It's been ActRaiser, specifically. Based on new ESRB ratings, it would appear that the publisher is doubling its efforts, bringing a second North American VC title out, the NES classic that... I'd actually never heard of until today, King's Knight. And I thought I knew my Square shooters! King's Knight is the publisher's first North American release, a vertical shooter with a Nobuo Uematsu score with a fantasy bent from 1986.

King's Knight isn't the only new addition, as Hudson's Final Soldier, a more traditional vertically scrolling shooter has also appeared as a potential Virtual Console candidate. It was originally released on the TurboGrafx-16 in 1991.

If you don't need the bells and whistles of a fully networked arcade set up for Street Fighter IV and you're willing to settle for a bit of local one-on-one, importer NCSX has you covered. They're soliciting SFIV hardware for pre-order starting today, due to ship at the end of August. It'll only set you back about $US 2590 (with an $US 880 deposit required), which is reasonable enough. More reasonable that $US 23,000 for the whole kit and the kaboodle. Oh, it's completely beyond my personal means, but if you've already got the arcade cabinet up and know how to install a Taito Type X2 PCB, this might be for you.

The full package comes with panel artwork, Street Fighter IV network ID cards and a Versus Communication Kit—you could technically take your fights online—and, of course, the game itself. Let us know if you plan on picking one up.

Street Fighter IV PCB Kit [NCSX] [Image Credit]

I'm not one for long goodbyes, so I'll try and make this quick. Today, ladies and gents, is the last day you'll see me fetching sandwiches and scrubbing the dirty floors of Kotaku Tower. My internship with Kotaku is up, and it's been a pretty sweet ride. Everyone has been really great, from the editors to the readers, and everyone else I've met while here, and I can come away knowing that even I spent 95% of my time in pink flannel pajamas, I've had a truly rewarding and educational internship.

The stories I've had a chance to write while here have also had a big impact on me. If you'll indulge me in a trip down memory lane for a second...

We posted about Korg's DS-10 software the other day, the music app that makes your Nintendo DS a pretty capable sequencer and synthesiser. What we neglected to do was include helpful video of the software in action. Looks perfect for those of us lacking in rhythm and pitch detection. Musically incapable, unite!

Now that Super Smash Bros. Brawl has shipped in both Japan and North America, expect there to be nothing but spoiler-filled content at the official site. Sure, it's probably all old hat to you—and certainly can't match last week's update—but if you want to take a look at some fabulous Assist Trophy art, make sure to check out what the Smash Bros. Dojo had to offer. Me? I'm gonna go play Brawl!

The appeal of casual games is a no-brainer at this point. Everyone can enjoy a quick game of Solitare, or while away some workplace boredom with Diner Dash. But as someone who's never really paid for any of my casual gaming fun, I was impressed by statistic from the Casual Gaming Association that consumers paid $US 2.25 billion for casual gaming last year. 75% of those who bought casual games were women, and 72% were over the age of 35. With Fahey's mom a future Wii Bowling champion, and my mother a devout Scrabolous addict, I'm not surprised that women over 35 make up the biggest part of the paid casual-market pie, I was just impressed by how high the number was.
All this leaves me with just one thought: there's actually a Casual Gaming Association?

Games Girls Play [Forbes]

The FedEx man and the UPS man stopped by not too long ago to drop off what I'll be playing this weekend. I'll be enduring my share of bums and corpses in Condemned 2 for the Xbox 360 for a good portion of the weekend, hoping to provide my thoughts on Monday. I've also got a copy of Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword to try out, which means I'll have to bust out by old Nintendo DS. Still haven't shipped off the DS Lite to be repaired.

That's all I'm signing myself up for. How about yourselves? What are you playing this weekend?

Sorry for the late update on weekly Japanese hardware sales, but yesterday was a bit nutty. Capcom Digital Day, Gamecock's EIEIO stuff, NPD sales data—it's enough to make one head's spin! Add to that some confusion on Media Create's updates due to a daylight savings time shift and you get a Friday version of Japanese sales data.

Earlier this week the folks at GameCock dumped a bunch of screenshots, fact sheets and videos on us for all of their upcoming titles. Here's a run down of everything, in case you missed the massive info dump:

Pirates Vs. Ninja Dodgeball Info Dump
Hail to the Chimp Info Dump
Stronghold Crusader Extreme Info Dump
Dungeon Hero Info Dump
Velvet Assassin Info Dump
Legendary Info Dump
Insecticide Info Dump
Section 8 Info Dump
Mushroom Men Info Dump

We had planned on writing a snarky response to a mainstream media that keeps running Wii rehab stories. We'd intended to inform you that it was the year 2006 and that we were listening to SexyBack in the background while telling you the good news.

Then we actually watched this clip in which The Today Show visits patients in rehab who were using the Wii and coping better with their situations because of it...well, it was tough to channel the adolescent sarcasm into our writing.

[via GoNintendo]

If you are reading Kotaku on a Friday afternoon, chances are that your productivity is lacking. Hey, we have no problem with that. No problem at all. But in case you wanted to do a little business multitasking with your gaming news, here's a pretty fantastic Mega Man flow chart, mapping Dr. Wily's various success/failure scenarios. Enjoy it, you bunch of lazy, pathetic employees/awesome, loyal readers. If we were your boss we'd gladly fire you/give you a major promotion.

20 Insane Supervillain Schemes In Flowchart Form [Cracked]

As if MMOs for teens and adults aren't bad enough, Fluid Entertainment (Disney Princess Castle Party, Disney Mix, Pokémon Play It!) has decided that children need a Warcrack of their own. They've secured $US 3.2 million in backing for the development of a new MMO aimed at children. With only a few entries in this genre so far, Fluid is going after a relatively untapped market. The game will have an environmental theme, and according to the press release, boast "unprecedented levels of engaging gameplay for children's MMOs, while infusing the compelling narrative with a meaningful purpose". The MMO will be an original title, meaning it's not likely to be based off any of Fluid's previous partnerships with Hasbro, Disney, or Mattel. We can all rest easy that it won't be World of Hannah Montana. Thank goodness.

Recently, Valve went on record saying that they'd like their upcoming Team Fortress 2 map pack to be free on both PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, but admitted that such a situation might not be possible. Many wondered if this uncertain future was the result of EA meddling or interference from the platform holders themselves.

We contacted Valve to clarify and their VP of marketing Doug Lombardi informed us that, "The platform holder owns the final call." So just as we'd suspected, whether or not we see these maps for free is indeed up to Sony and Microsoft.

We've all seen the seats with built-in speakers, but they are severely limited. While a couch is multifunctional—prepared for an impromptu nap or make-out session—current gaming chairs offer a more narrow seated existence good only for one person in one position.

The $US 248.95 RumbleSeat offers vibrate-y gaming for two. While not hooking directly to your console, it will serve as an additional set of speakers for your television. And just imagine sitting next to your best friend after beating Army of Two, your rears sweating on the baby blue microfiber cover, the musk of another's Cheeto breathe entering your nostrils...good luck capturing that awkward sexual tension on a unicycle.

RumbleSeat [Boomchair via Crave]