real world
Verne Troyer Calls Out Indiana Jones
Posted by Mike Fahey at 2:20 AM on March 20, 2008
I'm not sure if I pity Verne Troyer or envy him. Here is a tiny little man who makes a living being a smaller, more abrasive version of other people. People dress him up as say, Indiana Jones, and then film him saying things like, "This is a message for Indiana Jones. I'll fuck you up!" in his little tiny voice. It's all part of a contest over at the Postal movie's MovieSet web page, which plays up the "hopelessly outclassed" marketing angle Uwe Boll's people have cooked up. After watching the clip you are challenged to guess what's in Verne's sack for a chance to win the contents, but I don't think any of us really want to know what Verne is carrying around in his sack. Best just to hit the link, view the clip, and leave such questions unpondered.
Mini Indy Calls Out Big Indy [Postal MovieSet]

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Soldier_CLE
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Hmm... Did anyone go to Wal Mart lately and notice all of those hokey $1 movies before the checkout aisle?
If you don't go to see this film at theatres and NOT rent it at the rental stores, I'd wager that we'll see it in that dollar bin in a year or so.
That, and it'd be the final nail in the coffin for the shit truffle known as Uwe Boll
Dollar bin Postal + End of Use Boll = DOUBLE WIN!
Soldier_CLE
theelk801
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@Dekabreak: Your name is made of win.
That is all.
theelk801
Dekabreak
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Wait, they hype Uwe Boll's movie?
Damn.
Dekabreak
Fyren
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
He'll fuck up Indiana Jones.
Fyren
Heartless1
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@Fireblast: Every day is St. Patricks day for me, after 9 Beers.
...Who wants to touch my shalaylee!? jk
Heartless1
Fireblast
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
I thought St. Patrick's Day was over!
Fireblast
caster
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
i think were all forgetting the little dudes tour de force performance as Napoleon in Jack of all trades.
caster
WolfGod
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Sad
WolfGod
DeeBG
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Trust me, you should feel sorry for him. He has serious money issues (that's why he takes these bad roles), is an alcoholic and suffers from some kind of psychological issues.
DeeBG
Trowble (XBL/PSN)
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
From that picture, Verne Troyer doesn't look so happy playing the mini shadow of well known actors.
Trowble (XBL/PSN)
Purple Dave
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Geez, he looks like someone slapped the Indiana Jones outfit on that little gold idol from the beginning of Raiders, or the chilled monkey brains monkey heads from Temple.
@hungry_for_worms:
He did so. It was a kind of high-pitched wailing screech, but that does technically count as a line. Besides, he just had that "I'm a mage!" bit for WoW, which was even funnier than listening to Captain Kirk pontificate on the greater meaning of life.
@C22DBlueKnightOne:
Maybe he's hoping the same thing that Harrison Ford was when he did those Japanese commercials. That he'll get to walk away with a fat check, but that _noone_ will ever see it and he can pretend it was all a bad dream followed by him finding a pile of cash on the sidewalk.
Purple Dave
excel_excel
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@Mr.SithNinja: OUCH! Jesus how the hell COULD you shove a roll of mentos up your peeho....you know what never mind...
Uwe Boll, please make this your last movie...PLEASE
excel_excel
Mr.SithNinja
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@cactaur: That isn't a very good analogy because there is a use in this world for Mentos. I would rather stuff a roll of Mentos up my pee hole than watch another piece of shit movie that retard puts out.
Mr.SithNinja
peAr_nectAr
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@PlayerX: I have a feeling he can afford not to have a nother side to him.
Yum, money!
peAr_nectAr
jackal888
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
I like Verne, he just wants to work.
jackal888
Klopfer123
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@hungry_for_worms: I agree that most of the things he's been in have been rubbish, but I wouldn't write of a whole performance because he doesn't have a line. Silent actors managed to accomplish performing feelings and emotions without lines. Some would say they did a better job than the majority of modern actors as they had to consider their body language and expressions within performances.
I imagine it's hard for him anyway, his very fame and fortune have arisen from a reminder that he's different from the majority of people.
Klopfer123
PlayerX
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
I know it makes him money, but there's gotta be another side to Troyer beyond the Mini X theme.
PlayerX
Livid
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
I thought it was great, lol.
But I do feel some rumbling guilt pangs now... ahem.
Livid
photoboy
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Has anyone seen the trailer for Postal? If the trailer makes it look like the worst kind of low budget shit (and they always put the best bits in the trailer) then this film is likely to actually be Uwe's worst cinematic turd yet.
photoboy
shadow_judge
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
I heard Postal 3 will include Uwe Boll.
I myself don't like Postal in any aspect, but... fucking killing / torturing Uwe's Ball sounds good, isn't it?
This guy is soooo retard. I feel pity for him.
shadow_judge
TRT-X
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Wow! can't wait to see how they shoe-horn this in considering the movie has apparently already been shot, produced, and screened...
I think I can already feel the massive vacuum of suckage eminating from this film.
TRT-X
Klappstuhl
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Please let it be Uwe's Head, pleeeease!
Klappstuhl
cactaur
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Uwe Boll, the mentos of the movie world.
cactaur
DrXym
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Kotaku should make an editorial policy and just ignore Uwe Boll.
DrXym
duckmouth
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
"Here is a tiny little man who makes a living being a smaller, more abrasive version of other people"
Very well put!
duckmouth
RemyDuvalle
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@C22DBlueKnightOne: Well, I don't want to go into work everyday... Dude's gotta make a living.
RemyDuvalle
C22DBlueKnightOne
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Is it just me, or did he seem like he really did not want to be there doing this stupid video for this stupid site for a stupid movie that only people who don't know any better are going to see?
Uwe Boll ought to be ashamed of himself.
C22DBlueKnightOne
Stueymon
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
oh and sorry to double post, but i just saw that clip, you can actually see the shame in Verne Troyer's eyes! he even gives a little sigh have way through the clip.
Stueymon
MisterSleep
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@cio: well I certainly hope he didn't experience it into that sack.
MisterSleep
Stueymon
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
i'm starting to think that Uwe Boll has realised that his movies are terrible, and he's gone for the "so bad it's good route"
Postal seems to be getting alot more attention than his previous films including... all of them. i have to admit, i saw the trailer for postal and i did laugh at the cat-silencer bit, then felt very very ashamed.
i wouldn't go to the cinemas to watch it tho, i wouldn't give that man my money if the film came with free strippers and beer, probably just find it fallen off one of those internet trucks.
Stueymon
Jomolungma
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@HurricaneDave:
Totally agree. I don't see how you can watch that season of Surreal Life and envy that dude.
Jomolungma
Vau
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@cio: Probably not. Somehow hat makes him even more quasi-cute.
Vau
GMC
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
oh, man.
GMC
LittlestLamshi
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@cio:
It's called money... Money gets things... Money is green, sometimes plastic, sometimes it has other colors too.
LittlestLamshi
LittlestLamshi
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@hungry_for_worms:
I quote, "EEEEEEEEEEEEE," end quote...
LittlestLamshi
2NinjasTapedTogether
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Huh. Well... That's about the most idiotic thing I've seen since I woke up about 15 minutes ago.
2NinjasTapedTogether
cio
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Do you think Verne Troyer has ever experienced love?
cio
MURDERFACE
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
LOL Postal has a very "little" chance of surviving against Indiana Jones. LOL that's right i went there iam starting the morning off with little people jokes.
MURDERFACE
fenex13
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
What's in the sac? It's gotta be Marsellus Wallace's soul.
fenex13
-EDGE-
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
I think I would rather have a barium enema then know what Verne has in his "bag".
-EDGE-
HurricaneDave
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
That man's life is sad. Ever since I saw him on Surreal Life, I have nothing but pity for him.
HurricaneDave
Ganglor
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
I love the image it freezes to of Verne when the video stops playing. It's like he just realized that he actually did a Uwe Bowl film and that his career is officially over.
Ganglor
cordsie
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
He's a modern day Hervé Villechaize. Truly, standing on the shoulders of giants.
Though this clip just didn't convey the same powerful conviction as his Mini-Me oeuvre.
cordsie
futurebiblehero
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Postal? Doesn't have a chance. That clip from the Surreal Life of Verne drunk and naked on his Hoveround, pissing in the corner? Would gross higher than Titanic if they put it in theaters.
futurebiblehero
MisterSleep
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
I'm not positive I want to know what's in that bag.
MisterSleep
poser85
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
*sigh*
poser85
greyhoundbus
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
That's odd. I feel offended but I'm not sure why. It's like that clip was flipping the finger at the whole human race =D
greyhoundbus
NotAZombie
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
@Lanhoj: Dr. Tran!
NotAZombie
Atheist Jew
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
Well I suppose the little bastard has to do something to make money.
You know what, that's not enough of an excuse. This goes beyond being pathetic.
Atheist Jew
ncdign
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
What's in the bag? I think it's what's left of Dave Foley's pride.
ncdign
hungry_for_worms
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
vern troyers garbage. famous for playing mini me and thats it. he didnt even have a line in the whole movie
hungry_for_worms
Lanhoj
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
he'll F*** you up Indiana Jones
Lanhoj
RET_Ghost
Posted 7:55 PM 26/3/08
..................... ?..................
RET_Ghost