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Raise Your Own Bimbo
Posted by Brian Ashcraft at 11:40 PM on March 26, 2008
The latest game incurring parents' wrath? Miss Bimbo! The online sim has players take their own bimbo clubbing and shopping so that she becomes the "hottest, coolest, most famous bimbo in the world." And if that's not enough, the game apparently tells players to "stop at nothing" and use even "meds or plastic surgery" in their race to become the Queen of Bimbodom. The game is free at first, but eventually dips into PayPal accounts if you want to make any progress. So? What's the guff? Says Bill Hibberd of parents' rights group Parentkind:
For me, Metal Gear Online seems a bit boring. Little slow, little unsuited to online play, little-OH MAN. I forgot all about the man catapults. Sorry. Let me try that again. Metal Gear Online is awesome, you should check out these screens, blah blah, etc etc.
Yes, Square Enix does make games with out the words "Final" and "Fantasy" in the title. Sigma Harmonics is the company's newest original IP. It's a Nintendo DS title, is 60 percent finished and is slated for summer release in Japan. The game is a RPG complete with leveling up (no surprises there!) and is held sideways while playing (interesting!). Though, Sigma Harmonics is an adventure RPG that has a murder mystery story divided into chapters. Every new chapter, a new mystery happens! We're intrigued. Another scan after the jump.
Wii Fit's coming! Means that, along with it, will come a load of crap aimed at prying some extra cash from gullible Wii owners. Crap like this crap here. Above are two examples of Subsonic's line of Wii Fit "merchandise". Some of it looks barely practical. Some of it makes snake oil look like a Swiss army knife. On offer are silicon mats (so you don't slip!), a rechargeable battery pack for the balance board (OK, that's somewhat useful), a carry bag for your balance board (let's work our fat thighs off at your place!) and, best of all, a "microfiber spray and dust cleaner for special electronic materials"!!!!!! No, thanks.
Yeah, you read that right. Ridge Racer. Pachislot machine. Together. In two flavours: one on the PS2, the other, a real life pachislot machine (sort of like a slot machine mixed with a pachinko machine that dishes out tokens) with tacky LCD speedometer. Good news is this is real. Bad news is there's no way in hell this is ever going outside Japan. Well, except for maybe the PS2 version, which will be out on June 5. Above's a screen from the console edition, full-body pic of the pachislot machine's after the jump.
The recent issue of monthly manga Shonen Age has a first look at new spiky-bobbie Soul Calibur IV character Angol Fia. She's was designed by famed mangaka 
BusinessWeek are very serious. So seeing they've just opened the "BusinessWeek Arcade" - which is a catalogue/portal for "some of the Web's best free, independently produced games" - on their site is a bit of a shock. Not as big a shock as seeing the calibre of games they've got on there, though. No shitty, cheap flash games here: the idle professional will instead be enjoying top-shelf titles like Crayon Physics, Toribash, Tumiki Fighters and - yes - 
You use a lot of real guns in games today. Heck, I spent nearly all weekend playing Call of Duty 4, and am now convinced I can work the assault rifle arsenals of both the American and Russian armed forces. I really can't though, and Popular Mechanics are here to remind me that despite looking and sounding real, most in-game guns don't behave like they're real. Take Rainbow Six Vegas 2, for example. Developer Philippe Theiren:
Look! It's a stitched Bionic Commando thingy to put on your Xbox 360!! Writes reader Sam:
Darwinia on the 360 is a 
Sir Paul McCartney not only got a divorce but a flash game about his divorce. Lucky him! In the game, players take on the role of The Beatles' ex-wife Heather Mills and try hurling a glass of water at Macca and is lawyer Fiona Shackleton. (
Nothing new to report on the state of the God of War PSP bundle 
Playing games? Easy. Finishing games? Well... Finishing a game takes time. Sometimes, it takes too long. Though, not all games take 35 hours plus. Portal, for example. Portal takes about three hours. So, what does the game's writer, Erik Wolpaw, think about game length? He thinks this:
Udon, longtime SFII and Capcom collaborators, have released some of their character art that'll feature in SFII HD. Namely, the little portraits that'll appear on the character select screen. These ones below aren't little, though. They're the big versions. Plenty big enough to show that Cammy's armpits are fully prepared for the extra scrutiny the HD era affords.
That's the aim of Codeweavers' CrossOver Games software. It's a special version of the developer's CrossOver Windows emulator for Mac and Linux designed with gaming in mind. It launches today, at the low, low price of $US 39.95.
Previously, 
Bit-tech went and asked itself this very question, considering no amount of tarot card reading, crystal ball gazing or deciphering of entrails would provide a reliable answer.
Before I go on, we haven't heard squat about this from any of you, but others have, so who knows. Commenters on Larry Hryb's Microsoft blog have been complaining that the update 
*cue movie guy voice* This Spring...the wheels on the bus...go round and round. Finally a game for those hopelessly drawn to the glamorous, high-risk world of public transportation. Bus Driver is a PC game coming in May from SCS Software, the folks behind Deer Hunter II & III and the 18 Wheels of Steel series. It features 12 different buses, 30 different routes, and many different bus-centric tasks, such as sightseeing tours and prisoner transport. It is a completely ridiculous concept...with so many different video game escapes available, who the hell would want to drive a bus? Me, apparently. I have no clue why, but the prospect of driving a large bus around town just appeals to me. Maybe it's because I am a 6'6" guy who drives a tiny Nissan Sentra. Legroom envy, perhaps? 
Microtransactions Wii-style have already gone live, now that 
Oh, we knew from the get-go that Guitar Hero: Aerosmith wouldn't just feature the middling, aging bad boys from Boston, saving us gagging on a disc full of the band's signature schlock. The original press release even says that "celebrated artists that the band has either performed with or has been inspired by in some way" will appear. Who? Well, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry has been pretty mouthy about that lately, with the latest issue of Game Informer revealing that Cheap Trick, Mott the Hoople, Joan Jett and The Kinks will have their own tunes on the next Guitar Hero release.
That Grand Theft Auto IV limited edition package is, unless you're in desperate need of a duffel bag for all your duffeling, a teensy bit overpriced. Fortunately, GameStop is giving away ten-thousand dollars in a GTA IV promotion, so you could be swimming in lockboxes, key chains and other branded tchotchkes if you win. You could also be swimming in airfare, as four winners will fly to New York City for a chance to get that ten large. It's really quite simple, only requiring a text from your mobile phone or the filling out of an online form. No purchase or hooker beatings required! Good luck.
Who said gaming and theatre were a bad mix? 
We've been through dozens of hygienic panties for female dogs in our time on this Earth, but we've yet to see one this special. According to the arse end of this particular pair, designed for the unspayed bitch in your life, they're compatible with Game Boy Colour. Handy, in the case of needing to play some Metal Gear Ghost Babel while taking Muffin for a walk during her time with "the curse". To be perfectly clear, the text does read that the pantsu are "atible with AMEBOY COLOR" so don't toss your legacy handhelds out just yet.
Sega is preparing two classic Master System titles for the console's debut on the North American Wii Virtual Console, and they're coming in cheap! Two of the very best games available for the short-lived system, Wonder Boy and Fantasy Zone, will be showing up "soon" for the low, low price of 400 points a piece. That's 100 points below the price of NES games, and the cheapest titles available on the channel so far. Finally North American Sega fans who jumped on the bandwagon too late will know why the name Opa-opa keeps popping up in games like Phantasy Star Online, Shenmue, and Sonic Riders. Huzzah!
Konami has to like its chances on the success of Metal Gear Solid 4, if the quick sell out of the "steel" edition PlayStation 3 are any indication. The Konamistyle web site, which handles all manner of Konami brand stuff, is already sold out of the limited edition 40GB console. It's going for 51,800 yen ($US 517) and should be available at other retailers soon, but the allotment given to Konami's own store has been quickly depleted. Don't worry though, collectors. You'll still be able to get Hori's useless and garish DualShock 3 charging station in "steel" at your leisure.
Yakuza 3, aka Ryu Ga Gotoku Kenzan!, may already be out in native Japan, but the previous episode has yet to leave the country. Good news for Europe though, as Sega has announced that Yakuza 2 will see a release on the PlayStation 2 sometime in 2008. That seems to be as far as it's willing to nail it down, just like the North American release, something the publisher has been quiet about lately. Let's bug Sega and find out what's what!
Maybe! These were obtained by Dutch site 
