Ah, yes, Friday. The day of the week where we settle in, relax and just talk. You guessed it, we've got another round of TUD, (aka Tell Us Dammit) coming your way. For those not in the known, Tell us Dammit is our opportunity to learn more about you reader person. That way we can feel closer! And perhaps, even for a fleeting second, feel kinda bad when we ban your arse. Here's how it works: We ask a question. You answer it. So! This week, the TUD Giraffe asks:

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Microsoft, stop. Please! The 360 has struggled with "trying too hard" marketing since the day it was born, but taking that same adolescent tone and pitching it at adults? Parents, even? With hot chicks in lab coats, hand signals and some notion that this somehow gives you "parental street cred"? Little ridiculous. Maybe even a pinch pathetic. But hey, that's just me. Those up for further uncomfortable viewing experiences can click through for many, many more.

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Ex-Microsoft Honcho Says Consoles Will Die Soon
Comment by: Kanik
Nominated by: liquid_kore

This guy has the face of a criminal. If there's no console underneath my TV, I'm blaming him.

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Visitors to the official Rainbow Six, Splinter Cell and EndWar web sites may have notice something unusual today—a Flash overlay that features smoldering, bullet-ridden debris that links to the official Ghost Recon web site. There, a similar Flash overlay shows a smoking black box or dossier case, then a series of mysterious videos, some of which are playable, some still locked down. The video and audio files are said to come from a recovered MACSAT or Multiple Access Commercial Satellite.

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In a rare move from a product marketing executive, Sony Computer Entertainment America's Scott Steinberg has downplayed the commercial viability of the his competitor's exclusive content for Grand Theft Auto IV. Surprisingly, Steinberg doesn't think it's exactly the bee's knees. He tells GameDaily that "I personally don't think there's going to be a huge percentage of folks who jump into downloadable content for another price when they're still playing through the core product." I guess with a reported 100-hour playtime, he might have an argument.

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Got at least 2500 bones to drop on the centerpiece of a lifetime? If Resistance: Fall of Man is your thing, you'll definitely want this authentic Chimera skull prop—used in the filming of the Resistance TV spot—to help complete your collection of things that will scare the bejeezus out of visitors and house guests. It's super pricey, with the auction house expecting it to sell in the $US 3000 range, and will most likely be snapped up by Ted Price from Insomniac Games anyway, but it's still fun to imagine this resting menacingly by your PlayStation 3.

Chimera Skull from Playstation 3 game TV ad [eBay - thanks, Benj!]

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that might actually be a Mercenaries 2 screen, based on the explosions and helicopters and palette and such. Sorry, but it's Prototype. There's no lack of things exploding in this updated look at Sierra's superhuman action game for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC. They even throw in some bluish skies to mix it up! Blue skies, punching, blood, 'splosions and helicopters?! Fabulous!

Capcom's recent Digital Day was merely a taste of what it has planned for the year. Heavy hitters are still planned for the publisher's upcoming Gamers Day, now known as CAPTIVATE 08. It's happening at the end of May, with news dripping out at the start of June, news that's sure to create a torrent of drool. The best part? John Q. Gamer can go. But only five of you.

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The release of SOCOM Confrontation via the PlayStation Network this fall may have the mass appeal to be a digitally distributed "killer app" for the PlayStation fan base, but Sony has plenty of unique offerings over the next few months, some of which we are already intimately familiar with. Echochrome and Wipeout HD haven't been lacking in exposure, but MTV's Stephen Totilo goes hands-on with two more PSN originals, Elefunk and PixelJunk Monsters Encore to get a handle on what's next for the Store.

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When we first saw screens of Sonic Unleashed, it was pretty clear that we were looking at something that was only feasible on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. No offence intended to the GameCube Turbo, but Sonic and the Secret Rings didn't look this good. Chatter about a sensible Wii version has been making the rounds since first screens and video sneaked out, but it would appear that Sega is planning to unleash more Sonic love on every viable platform.

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It's funny how much I have written about Super Smash Bros. Brawl. The Wii fighter has stolen a few hours of my life, but you might be shocked to learn how little I've played of the final retail copy. Pre-release? Hours! The full-fledged game? Embarrassingly little. It's just that the Wii is quite frequently powered down or *gasp* not hooked up at all. In my defence, I have eight consoles fighting for receiver hook ups.

Perhaps I should squeeze some Brawl time in this weekend, get some of those unlockable stages I hear the kids are into. This week at the Smash Bros. Dojo, Sakurai and crew talk about a few more precious hidden characters, plus talk about post-completion goodies. It's all in the Dump!

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Obligation gaming isn't as much fun as elective gaming. Sure, it's still better than digging ditches, but being genuinely interested in playing Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword but having to speed through it to meet a deadline takes some of the (ninja) magic out of it. Thank the Magician Lord for freed up weekends! Like this one! I'll be enjoying some new Boston tracks in Rock Band as well as doing some research with Jet Set Radio Future. Might even squeeze in a little Phantom Hourglass. And I'll be doing it on my own time. Yay!

I've also got a sweet new US Postal Service approved digital scale to enjoy. Jealous? Try to disprove that you are by letting us know what you'll be playing this weekend. To the comments!

Usually we opt to pitch you funny blankets from Etsy, but today we thought we'd present a product for the perusal of our readership with, how shall we say this politely, a job more expendable income. By Danish manufacturer Kvadrat, the Pixel Couch (the name should be self-explanatory) is a sort of gaming room dream seat. Sure, the lack of full back pillow coverage could become irksome, but you've got to learn to sacrifice for your art. We couldn't spot the price online, but assume you have to sacrifice a bit for your purchases, too.

Pixel Couch [thecoolhunter]

You think the Army of Two demo is coming April 1st? Hahahaha. Fooled you!

But seriously, the Army of Two demo really is coming April 1st to Xbox 360 (sorry PS3 owners) and it will include both the training tutorial and the entire first level of the game. DLC will follow soon after, including 1 new multiplayer map, 2 new campaign maps and the SSC Challenge obstacle course. (Given that single player only features 6 levels, 2 new maps for single player is quite a bit).

Of course, given that the demo is slated for April 1st, EA could be lying to us in what would be the lamest April Fools' prank of all time. You know, almost as lame as the opening to this post.

DEMO Coming Out & New DLC Info! [EA Forums via Xbox 360 Fanboy]

Some of you will enjoy the gameplay footage in Silicon Knights' latest Too Human developer diary. But make sure that you fast forward to the middle before losing another battle of attention span against the internet. Because this diary features a strange short film called The Goblin Man of Norway. We think it's meant to be a mockumentary. Chronicling the excavation of a faceless mythical artifact, huge orchestration and high production values clash with touches like clearly satirical woolly mammoth maps. It's a gloriously awkward miss, really, like Silicon Knights take Too Human so seriously that they can't even joke about it, even when they try very, very hard.

So consider this post the equivalent of making a funny face after eating some food and saying, "This tastes funny. Try it."

The Goblin Man of Normandy [NFC]

While we already pretty much know that a new, prettier PlayStation Store is coming in April, it's always refreshing to see some acknowledgment on the old PS3 itself. Here's a shot of a banner captured on the current European PlayStation store. Apparently it's not clickable so it can't transport the Sony fanboy into some sort of preview of the Utopian shopping future for which we are all extremely* excited.

*In full disclosure, the author of said blog post cannot decide if he is moderately or extremely excited about the news, but he opted to go with the more sensational diction to promote a merry, festive atmosphere on the site.

New look PS Store advertised on PS Store [Darkzero via Maxconsole]

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We're always on the lookout for the next entertaining review talent...even if it's not meant to be funny. These parental reviews from British TV personality Anne Diamond are absolutely perfect Friday reading. It's her sincere, unadulterated disgust for the content that makes her reviews so fantastic. Hit the jump for a bonus review.

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If you've been looking for Nintendo DS accessories, Meritline has an excellent sale going on right now, taking 50% off their stock of merchandise. You can score a wall or car charger for $US 9, an extra battery for $US 7 and silicon skins for $US 6.50. Plus there's free shipping. Just make sure to use the coupon code "NDS50POFF" at checkout to see the savings. Oh, and remember that lithium ion batteries are an iffy purchase when on sale, since they lose capacity from the time they are produced and have probably been sitting around for a while.

Accessories for Nintendo DS Lite [Meritline via BargainJack]

If you are or will be in the Milwaukee area over the weekend, be sure to drop by the Olympia Resort for the 2008 Midwest Gaming Classic, the Midwest's largest electronic gaming convention. Visitors will be able to buy and play classic to current arcade and pinball machines, buy, sell, and trade your video game systems, games, and accessories, or listen to talks given by guest speakers like modder Ben Heckendorn, Twin Galaxies founder Walter Day, former EGM editors "Trickman" Terry and Sushi X, and Marty Goldberg, who will be talking about the plans to revitalize the classic Microprose brand. It sounds like a damn fine way to spend some time and money over the weekend. Tickets are $US 10 a day for adults, or completely free for children 12 and under. Hit up the website for directions and more information.

The 2008 Midwest Gaming Classic [Official Site - Thanks ZRDollarz]

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It wasn't until Team Ninja's Yosuke Hayashi stepped off the plane in the States this week that he heard about the connection some in the Japanese media were trying to draw between his recently released Ninja Gaiden game and the rampage of a disenfranchised gamer at a shopping centre near Tokyo.

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Former Sony Entertainment President Chris Deering has recently dished out two pieces of fascinating gossip about Sony development for those interested in the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" points in the company's history. The first such program was a social networking platform for the PSOne ala Facebook or MySpace.

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Sony has apparently overcome yesterday's technical difficulties in Europe, and Gran Turismo 5 Prologue is now available for purchase. The company apologised for any inconvenience to all of the friendly Europeans who were unable to drive shiny cars around yesterday.

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The rabid fan following Persona 3 drummed up has gotten Atlus asset crazy for the next installment of the RPG series. Here's a series of three character introduction clips meant to familiarize you with some of the new faces you'll be seeing in Persona 4. Of course it's all in Japanese but I'm sure we've got someone in the Kotakuite stable willing to translate any pertinent info for us in the comment section, if only to show us how completely awesome they are. This guy here seems to have issues with bike riding.

UPDATE: The host site is suffering some technical difficulties. Should be back soon.

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While one portion of EA busies itself trying to eat Take-Two, EA Bright Light studio in Guildford UK is busy bringing joy to children all over the world with the new Nintendo DS title, Zubo. It's a completely original game featuring all the stuff the kids go crazy for - collectible characters , music-based rhythm-action, and that old standard, adventure. Children enter the world of Zubalon and help the Zubos defeat an evil force hell heck-bent on taking over the world. Players will drive battles with music, tapping the stylus in time with the beat. There are 55 Zubos to collect, a ton of mini-games to play, and an entire world to explore. EA is effectively creating this holiday season's "safe bet" game for parents picking up a shiny new DS for their kids. Zubo will be out this fall, just in time for Christmas. Hit the jump for the full announcement and a colourful, kid-friendly Zubo poster, suitable for placing in a tiny frame.

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I had a chance to sit down with Team Ninja's Yosuke Hayashi, producer of Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword, in New York earlier this week, where he had flown to help launch the portable title in the U.S.

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While the teaser site hasn't provided much information regarding Rare's next entry in the Banjo-Kazooieverse for the Xbox 360, Rare community manager George Kelion has proved a veritable wellspring of information. Posting on the NeoGAF forum topic regarding the teaser site, Kelion says that the game should be coming out in time for Christmas this year.

The game is scheduled for a Holidays 2008 release - barring the coming of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, you should be playing Banjo 3 before the end of the year (providing you buy the game, that is).

Further assuaging forum-goers' fears, George promises the game isn't being developed for children, and that the game is safely in the hands of lead designer and Banjo-Kazooie creator Gregg Mayles. Finally, in response to the rather crappy-looking Banjo pic on the teaser site..

I really wouldn't base your ultimate judgments of the final Banjo model from what you've glimpsed on the teaser site if I were you - all shall be revealed in due course, not that long to wait now...

New Banjo Kazooie site launches [NeoGAF via Eurogamer]

When Take-Two rejected EA's buyout offer for the umpteenth time earlier this week, they also instituted a shareholder rights plan - a poison pill tactic that would give existing shareholders more room to reject the offer outright or negotiate a higher price - basically making it much more difficult for Electronic Arts to pull off the takeover. EA is not pleased.

"The actions of the Take-Two Board may increase the risk for their stockholders by delaying a potential transaction," said Owen Mahoney, Senior Vice President of Corporate Development at EA. "We continue to believe that our $26.00 per share offer price is full and fair, and that a transaction between Take-Two and EA is the most compelling combination financially, strategically and operationally for all parties."

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The guys over at Game Videos and EGM posted up this walk-through analysis of the latest, and last, Grand Theft Auto IV trailer picking apart what they see and all the little hidden details that look to make this game shine. During my visit with the Rockstar folks yesterday they told me that about 70 percent of the video was actual gameplay footage. Yes, that chase scene is actual footage. It took one of their guys hours to perfect that high-speed 180. I also love, love the rocket contrails. I hope to get my single player hands on impressions up later today. Check back.

Or, at least, you'll fear its cover. Yes, this is actually on the actual cover of the Byron Review. No, I'm not taking the piss. Isn't it great? Zombie molesting handhelds and inappropriate double entendres...it's like Fahey's worst nightmare come true.

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Will there be a PS4? An Xbox 720? A Nintendo Whatever?! Former Xbox Europe V.P. Sandy Duncan doesn't seem to think so. Duncan, who left Microsoft back in 2004 for personal reasons, says that in the next five or ten years, you won't have anything under your TV. Says Duncan:

There is a definite convergence of other devices, such as set top boxes. There's hardly any technology difference between some hard disc video recorders and an Xbox 360, for example... In fact in 5 to 10 years I don't think you'll have any box at all under your TV, most of this stuff will be virtualised as web services by your content provider.

The next 5 to 10 years sounds a little pie in the sky for that. I mean, two years ago, wireless controllers were a big deal.
Consoles to Die [CVG]

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