50 cents is obviously how much they paid the writer of the script for the game.

Witzbold

This story kicks ASS.

Next up:

50 Kart

Tomahawk214

I wish more games would go so insane in the plot department.

TrevWolf

It makes me wonder just how someone eventually gets into a mindset where they think they're hot enough shit to actually star as a video game hero.

unmarkedone

INSTAND BUY x100

Jagzthebest

this kind of thing happens way too often in the rap game, and it is about time 50 put a stop to it.

v12qborony

This has GOT to be a release day purchase!! I need to step in line so it doesn't get sold out.

Maelstrom

Lead Story on CNN...

Having tried EVERYTHING else and failed, the United States today, made the decision to pull all of it's troops out of the Middle East and Afghanistan and instead send rapper, 50 Cent to find and kill Osama BinLaden and his fabled crystal skull.
Now here's Ollie with the weather...

YouCanEatMe

They know the game is going to be shit, they dont need to make a story. It could be about 50 getting a blow job from a camal, and people would still buy it.

Mecharine

EPIC FAIL.

Why, why lord must you make us suffer 50 cent games and then make them sell a million copies? Which flawed people did you create to buy this bullshit and why?

Why have you forsaken us?

EdwinJ85

FAIL!!!!!!!!!!

MURDERFACE

How the fuck did 50 Cent 2 get made before E.T. 2??? There is no justice in this world!!

Mr.SithNinja

Plot Summary:
50 Cent is mad that he wasn't paid right, and starts killing people.

Blah8

50 cent and the kingdom of the crystal skull?

The only way I would play this game is if Indiana Jones and his dumb kid turned up in it.

YotaruVegeta

Someone gots ta make a 50 cent UT3 mod.

darthmatt

50 cent's UAC is online!

bigman88zz

Goddammit, who told you to post this before April 1st???

This is more hilarious than watching my best friend completely DESTROY the first 50 Cent game. No, I mean he literally fucking DEMOLISHED it. Threw it against walls, scratched the disc against his carpet, stabbed it with several pens, and wrote FUCK all over the disc. We still have pictures, I shit you not.

acez2087

I'm seeing used copies... on the walls of gamestop, from wanna be gangstas who didn't take the hint from the first terrible game...

ZackRI

Kotaku,

Please stop giving this game ANY press. As funny and stupid as it is, every time it is mentioned there is some poor sap out there who is going to think this game is going to be worth taking a look at.

I guess it really doesn't matter though. With the marketing packages this developer will purchase from Gamespot and IGN, it will ensure that this game gets way more press than it deserves anyway.

Hagame

What a joke.

j14rk1n

@Mit:

i disagree... i find it very entertaining. when the price drops to 10 bucks or something i'll have to play it just to MST it.

harlock_JDS

I can't believe they rejected my story idea:

Fitty fights out-of-control mecha-maids on the mean streets of akihabara.

50 Cent: MAXIMUM RISKY................SON!

Billkwando

This could pave the way for that "Cool As Ice" MMO we've all dreamed of.

w1nters

The really fucked up part about all this is that apparently, the first one sold well enough to warrent a sequel.

I mean SERIOUSLY, people. Do you just have NO method for picking out which title on the wall is utter shit? Did you ALL buy it on a goof?
...didn't the price for the first game drop to like $19.99 within 3 months?
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?

Insomnia Bob

Starring fifty cent as Air marshall fifty cent: "I stop dese terrorist or die tryin'." Nuff said.

Ulquiorra

Wow, that is ridiculous. A diamond encrusted skull? Anything with rappers have to be diamond ecrusted, it seems. I'll pass on this game.

KM91

sooo.. what they are doing is:

Trying to make some revanfe hardly boys mystery
in an "Blood Diamont" setting? rite?

foxhound009

My faith in humanity is shaken...

Shiryu

@k3nji: oh darn

I'd still like to see a Def Jux mystery mindfuck, or a Three 6 Mafia RPG where you take on the cops and the denizens of the occult realms wielding the supernatural powers of weed and cough syrup.

Retropants regrets nothing

You know what their next sequel is going to be...

50 Cent III: In Space

Retropants regrets nothing

Fiddy is going places my friends. Fiddy in space is the third installment, confirmed. Watch out Marcus Fenix.

k3nji

In a surprise twist, the ambushers turn out to be Kotaku commenters looking for that last scavenger hunt clue.

mmx

using the middle east as a story location started to get really lame....

Contra maudi

I totally know who they were and why they ambushed him. They were criminals. Who wanted the skull.

Man, shit, if this is the bar for fitty games i think it's pretty low. I invite everyone to write alternative stories for a 50 cent game.

Personally, i'd like to see him play a show, and then not get paid, but then GET paid in the form of a piece of valuable moon rock, but then the moon people come and take it, and 50 uses the G-unit space shuttle to go to the moon to GET WHATS HIS, all set to a cover of Ice T's Race war redubbed to Space war.

I'm talkin bout a space war
Open your eyes
Get wise
Put your brain in gear

Sunjammer

I come home...to THIS?!

Witzbold

What kind of skull-fuckery evil magic crack are these people smoking?

Acute Gamer

Wow, 50 Cent is touching MGS territory with that dumbtastic story. I bet it sells more too.

godhandiscen

And the movie rights go to...*drumrolls*..Mr. Uwe Boll.

Uwe: This movie is going to be bigger thän Titanik !

Spielberg in tears. Hollywood stunned. Bush steps down.

Voltron

@pandafresh: I second this emotion.

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.

wow.. this is so bad that I think if I was working for the company making it and got asigned to the project id probably resign and take my chances getting a job elsewhere. Who would actualy want to be associated with this game?

I can see the credits now, with just the 5 people who were brave enough to list themselves..

Murrytmds

lmao, so this is what the game version of b-movies look like.

meltyman

@big_world: LMAO!!! AHAHAHAHHAH!!

rockmanjoey

I bet you this game will sell more than Phsyconauts and Kane and Lynch put together

rockmanjoey

This game is a winner! Trust me I know things that win. I know this because I ALWAYS WIN!

Lone-Gun

Well, the previous game didn't make much sense either. "Bulletproof"? Not what I'd call someone who's been shot nine times. This one is just.. uh. Yikes. Maybe if it were tongue in cheek, but I'm betting this game takes itself completely seriously from beginning to end. Rapper goes on middle east murder spree because somebody stiffed him on a bill and stole his diamond encrusted skull.

This is on par with the last Sonic the Hedgehog's plot, which somehow managed to ruin the tried and true "run fast, save a princess" formula. If 50 turns into a glowing SuperFitty I will be impressed however.

RevDenton

Someone put a bullet on his head, he's been bragging too much about surviving bullets being shot at his body. Let's see him rap about his own skull being shot.

Sadly, I really think his game will sell in America, therefor we'll get to see more 50centy sequels. sigh

k_dash

That's so ridiculous it's awesome. Shame the gameplay will prolly suck.

Demaar

@big_world: whens chapter 2 in this epic tale you weave?

ArmyofJuan

Army of 50

Chef

Wow... I mean.. oh wow.

FeatherNET

@AlKusanagi: Nah -- I hear the final boss battle is 1v1 with the vengeful spirit of Millard Fillmore.

nimrandir

Is Fiddy going to ultimately face down Dr. Doom in his castle?

AlKusanagi

50 cent and the skull of bling

veryape

The only thing that could possibly be better would be a P Diddy game about the midget in the cabinet.

Sathias

I wonder if the concert promoter's name happens to be Damien Hirst?
[www.boingboing.net]

septajohn

50 Cent: Well, now that I'm off tour, time to make a sequel to that bangin' ass video game I made a couple years ago...

6 Year Old Kid: Hey, Fiddy! Yo, I just got done beating Bulletproof! That junk was the BOMB yo!

50 Cent: I'm glad you liked it kid. The plot was prolly a little over ya head 'cause it was all intricate 'n shit, but at least you took something away from it.

6 Year Old Kid: Word, word... So listen, when are you gonna make sequel?

50 Cent: Soon as fuggin' possible son. I got all the key ingredients figured out already, check it: Me. And guns. And bitch-ass nuggas.

6 Year Old Kid: Can't forget the bitch-asses!

50 Cent: Yeah, the only thing I ain't figured out yet is the plot. See, I set the bar real high with my first shit, so I gotta make sure my sequel is up to par, nahmsayin.

6 Year Old Kid: Exactly...

50 Cent: So I was thinking, it could start out like this: Me and the rest of G Unit are out rockin' a show in some violent-ass place...

6 Year Old Kid: Like the ghetto?

50 Cent: Nah, we already did that. I need something fresh. A violent-ass place that ain't the ghetto...

6 Year Old Kid: ...What, like Iraq?

50 Cent: Yeah... YEAH! Oh shit, that's perfect! That's just like the ghetto, except dry and sandy 'n shit. Okay, so we're doing a concert in Iraq...

6 Year Old Kid: ...And the guy who's running the concert can't pay you!

50 Cent: Oooo, that shit gets me HEATED!

6 Year Old Kid: Yeah, so he can't pay you, so instead of money he gives you, like, this diamond-encrusted... skull, er somthing.

50 Cent: ...Keep going...

big_world

Best. Game. EVER!

Archon Divinus

@Ess: Drugs? Women of loose morals? The theft of his lucky fotie? Or did we cover all those in the original?

nimrandir

@Phiedny: Zing!

Ping5000

An early April joke perhaps?
No way they cant be for real with this bs.

neojam

Awesome.

This is more like it. This is better than Michael Jackson saving children from Mr. Big and his robots and almost as good as the members of Journey having to travel to far flung planets to find their stolen instruments.

And to people who are suggesting this is stupid, what pray tell would be a reasonable explanation for why this musician and his friends might end up killing hundreds of people with a variety of weapons.

Ess

@thinkfreemind: A laudable aim. I had hoped that the world might be heading toward fewer f-bombs. I'm going to climb back up my ivory tower now . . .

nimrandir

LOL, these two 50 cent stories have produced some of the funniest posts I've ever read on Kotaku, awesome!

dirkxxdiggler

@nimrandir: Slim, but I try not to curse online. Besides that, I am at work, so...

thinkfreemind

@thinkfreemind: What are the odds they'd actually use the word 'freaking?' I don't keep up with rap these days.

nimrandir

They actually made money on the first game to make a sequel??

thePhildown

whoooaaaa! I didn't know Uwe Boll was making games now

topdolla44

WOW. Just WOW.

KiySeph

@okenny :): Zelda games have the cookie cutter "Save the Princess" plot. But at least they are executed fairly well..I think?
At least this plot is...umm....Original? *Wonders of to play another Generic Nintendo Story line*

trogam

Wow, this is the first time that I've actually facepalmed purely by my fail reflexes...

Bam345

Just why? I hope they realize how crappy this game sounds and just cancel it.

I can see at least one line the dialogue now...

Posse: "50 you hot!"

50 Cent: "Of course, we in the middle of the freaking desert!"

thinkfreemind

@CHU BOI I tell ya if I can summon hoes, money & crack to aid me in my battles I will buy this game! it will be like a 50 cent oblivion game except with no purpose at all

Molockian

@shadow300z: the funny thing is that this game is going to sell millions

chacho

****..............WTF, O_X - X_0 WTF...........****
Fifty Cent I like your raps, well some of them, but why the hell are you making another game?!

chacho

Honestly... they're tears of joy flowing down my cheeks.

nullterm

I don't know about you guys but I've played through much worse plots than this... much much worse (i.e. Zelda). If executed correctly in game play and proper acting... this could be good but chances are it will fail in gameplay and the voice acting will be hammy at best.

okenny :)

Woah, getting jumped for a skull. How gangsta

syrantking

Must Buy!!

EVILLAMA

Sounds like Fiddy will get rich...or die trying.

Bonertown

Wow. I've read better stories on fanfiction websites. And that's SAYING something.

FinalFrog

holy shit.

KMCC

This will be a rare commodity someday. I bet there's a landfill being dug next to the ET one for this game.

shadow300z

Corny... just like his music.

"I'm going to give the Declaration of Independence to Paul McCartney."

ph15h

50 Cent is going to kill a bunch of Middle Easterners of ambiguous nationality in the name of retrieving a blinged-out skull? What?

Just...what?

Lezard

OMG! I think my eyes exploded from the laughter. This is retarded!

Amazon_Chris

Please oh please tell me that 50 cent is gonna write a song about jackin some bitches fo they skull.

supercrap

@CHU BOI: and a cameo of Aenima promoting "this is your brain on drugs"

KMatt

Biggest irony? The idea that a promoter wouldn't have to pay 50 before the plane would even land for the show.

But he'll take a skull?

Rappers will perform for a barter system?

iskew

@kent_f: Dat is how dey role in da streetz. Know what I'm sayin?

Fuck all diz lawz n shit. Know what I'm sayin? He rollin wit ice skullz and shit. Know what I'm sayin? No one iz gonna dizrepeck on fiddy like dat.

ProfWho

We can only hope there's quicksand in the game, if nothing else to repeatedly watch 50 and G Unit drown in it over and over and over and over and over and over and over...

mitch079

So instead of taking the shady (no pun intended) promoter to court and get the money he worked so hardly for, 50 decided to threaten him and instead winds up with a skull?

kent_f

somebody please tell me this is a april fool's joke?

jfx316

This game's story will make the story of Final Fantasy 7 seem like the plot of Doom 3. The death scene of [some fucking G-Unit loser] will make Aeris's tragic scene seem like an Uwe Boll movie. I truly hope this game wins awards before it's released, in categories that it was never nominated in, because it's going to revolutionize everything forever.

天人

EPIC. XD

I cant wait until FIDDY buys 800,000 copies and then throws a 1 Million Copies Sold party like he did with the first game. Wait... did I just say game? >_>

C0MB1N3 C0MPL3X

Shit son, it sounds like the plot to "xXx 3: Blood on the Mutha F'n Sand"

The interview snippet makes it sound like they cornered a programmer with a plot question and he was forced to make up the story on the spot.

"What's the plot? Oh...well you see...umm...so there's this mystical object....a crystal skull....yes, that will do..."

J-Fro

[chuboi.files.wordpress.com]

yeah, its late, and i have photoshop

CHU BOI

lol... wow. I can't believe they made a sequel. I mean... this HAS to be an April Fool's sequel. And honestly... if they say that it's part of some USO thing... I will be SERIOUSLY pissed off.

Superman

@Tikey: I have to be honest -- I'm not sure I could get on board with this if Raz and Auron teamed up to find the skull . . .

nimrandir

*clears throat*

Terrrrrrrible.

goldarsun

Wow, Watch out Lucas and Spielburg! We got a new action hero to fawn over! Indy Who?!

Cameroo

I'd be all over this game if the protagonist was Mr T instead of 50c.

Tikey

Easy 1000 GS?

Allen750

Boll movie adaptation anyone?

pchea

Umm . . . didn't Plan 10 involve a diamond-encrusted skull?

And I thought Ed Wood had died.

nimrandir

Holy shit!!! LMFAO!!

Ed Wood couldn't make this shit up.

ProfWho

This game can't be real.

VGJ

Those fictional middle-eastern nations LOVE their fiddy...

Oyn

Story: 50 cent snitches other rappers and then has to go to court to file a restraining order.

bluesquareapple

I wet myself laughing so hard.

This will beat Halo 2 and 3 in sales! I mean, 50 in the Middle East!!! The setting alone screams infinite WIN!

Black_Ops_19

They should call it Romancing The Stoned

Cruithne

"I WANTS MAH BLING BACK! GET THE GUNZ!"

Ashurahori

50 Cent took more shots to the face than Jenna Jameson © Chris Rock

rospaya

This makes as much sense as Shaq Fu, but I'll probably get it from the bargain bin "just for fun" one of these days...

posjed

I mean the basic story thats being told here is really way off, I mean first off, nobody goes to fiddy cent concerts unless there:
A: Under 8 years of age
or
B: They're mentally unstable

And so after this imaginary concert, fiddy goes to the manager to get his money "cause he gots to gets paid...dawg" and is given a diamond skull thing.
Cause that totally happens in real life. I mean Madonna just did a concert in the middle east and you better believe she was paid in diamond skulls

excel_excel

Dear god, they got inspiration from another movie. And they're adding humor. And it was written by a Hollywood writer. A Muslim writer too. I'm reading the interview. He has this to say "We took the time; we invested in some really good tech, some really good writers and we created some really compelling gameplay that will definitely deliver the ultimate 50 Cent experience."

Mark Rein was impressed by the game. What the fuck is going on?! They're planning DLC. Getting in high-profile actors.

Lastly, "But we took into account the success of the first Bulletproof game, which sold 2.5 million units." Dear god, what the hell is going on?

Samos42

Halo 3 who?

Mike918

We all know the bloods and the crips are killing themselves for a crystal skull. What you think, the struggle was for nothing? HELL NO! LOL nice comment dude *respect.

tajash

It makes me wonder if the people who write these terrible plots actually know how terrible they are. Like, are they retarded, or do they just have a really twisted sense of what a good story is? Are they writing stuff like this as a cruel, cruel joke?

Crawl to China

Pure GOTY right there.

Now shorty said she feelin' my flow, she feelin' my style... Wuuuuhooook!!

More hoes and bitches please :/

Fyren

Dude! That plot is bonerific!

Livid

@AsauPrime: No, some people like fitty. Some people also have a 40 i.q. Coincidence? I think not.

Blackjack1353

"Terrorists stole his bling yo.

Muthafucka ain't havin' it."

@The_Antihippy:
OMG, QUOTE OF THE MONTH!!!! I seriously lol'd.

Alex_Mexico

I'm wondering what the creators were smoking when they wrote this script.... seriously this is almost as bad as seeing something like Big Mamma's House 2 come out.

swordfish2eva1

@excel_excel: Hahah! Zing!

AsauPrime

hmm, seems the most ficitonal part of the entire story is...
"They put on the performance; the people are pleased"
Ohh no

excel_excel

@CHU BOI: i'd pimp that bitch ass hoe to ifrit son, for some fat cash, B-b-b-b-b-b-ballin'

mossberg

The story of the first were an attempt to be a gangster drama, now this time they go for the nonsense thing or what? how will be the third? 50cent fighting aliens and demons?

zetopazio

The title of the article made me laugh for 15 mins.

squidboy007

This is awsome. I can't wait. I can tell you this, they've sold at least one copy.

Likwit

That story is just insanely ridiculous. The writer just did not give a damn did he (or she). Bravo unknown writer, bravo. You have made my day.

doak

+ Watch video

Blackjack1353

@Zeuxis: Pretty much. If I get to play an assassin trying to kill 50 lint and his cohorts I'll most definately buy.

Nexus6

Oh man, that story is awesome.

darthmole12

Why can't Fiddy just buy another skull? Because that's just not Gangster, Luke...

AsauPrime

50 Cent in a Indiana Jones style adventure seem a bit tooo Corney to me. Whats Wrong with this world in games today so many great games with Horrid stories.

MXs219

I wonder why we hear about so many game makers being in financial trouble....

AverageJoes

Holy crap I know junior high kids that write better fiction.

Xsid

The sad thing is this really isn't that much worse than the story in most games.

t0yrobo

WOOOOT! Buy the game it's on me.

EaGle1337

Someone got paid to write that story?

Looks like I'm getting my friends high and asking them to make up a horrible bullshit story I can sell to a videogame company!

Grocerspride

@KMatt: The game will OBVIOUSLY have an RPG element to it where money, hoes and crack/cocaine can be summoned to battle by your side in order to win your diamond encrusted skull back. Yes, Final Fantasy's Shiva will be one of these hoes.

CHU BOI

@Samos42: LMAO!

zanzibarlegend

@Aethyr: Brawl. Add me.: man this is too funny XD! what's next? 50 on a mission to rescue the pope from terrorists?

Sweet Tooth

I was hoping the initial quoted blurp was all there was to the story. Damn it!

CalcioFool

Um... this is more ridiculous than the ACTUAL April Fools joke.

Superstar90

Will there be suicide bombers in this fictional war-torn Middle Eastern setting thriving with people more concerned about procuring fitty cent tickets rather than their next meal or their going to survive throughout the day? Because everybody knows, suicide bombers are on some crazy shit! And that's gangsta!

Trowble (XBL/PSN)

reading this post just made me realize how much i love shaq-fu now.

zanzibarlegend

@Schoolimangooli: He's not Bulletproof this time. Didn't you see, THERE'S BLOOD ON THE SAND NOW.

Samos42

If the Coal-Train doesn't make an appearance than that sucks.

excel_excel

Oh - and there better be some god damn rap battles with Iraqies and the like.

"I'm tha motha fuckin infadel, trick you know.
You can tell by my rhymes and terrortatstic flow.
Maybe its my beard or my dirt covered face,
but when I bomb 50's mind there won't even be trace.

Cause Im tha mutha fuckin infadel, you know bra.
Mostly by the way I shout ALALALALA!!!!!!!!!!"

Thank you.

freakoflink

@thomasav: The first one did sell over a million...

InsidiousTuna

ZOMG GOTY NOMINEE CONFIRMED!

Ugh, so this is what happens to your career when you lose bets with Kanye West? Damn.

CHU BOI

what? 50 surviving over 1000 shots from Al-Quaida (I think that's how you spell it). seriously Jenna Jameson has taken more shots than 50 and any other "gangsta" put together.

Sweet Tooth

@Samos42: American troops? Private contractor personnel? Saudi oil princes?

InsidiousTuna

this plot is more conveluted than mgs2.
BulletProof: 50 Cent and the Temple of It's yo Birthday.

somewhere Speilberg is sitting in his room reading this post and saying...
"what a fuckin biter yo"

zanzibarlegend

Fuck Metal Gear 4. I'm going to buy this instead.

KagaSakai

Who ever wrote the story for this game should officially lose their license to write since the story sounds way to ridiculous and ripped off from other media.

ocalot

It's no Wu Tang

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

The collector's edition had better come with an exact replica of the aforementioned jewel-encrusted skull or I will be calling GameStop to cancel my preorder. In fact, I might just end up trying to track these people down and find out why I was ambushed.

animagnum

@Chief2BeaR: I Seriously doubt that Blizzard is shoving that down your throat. When you are paying 15 dollars a month, and playing there game on your computer. When you could just leave anytime.

I'm waiting for SCII, not the Exspansion that make your character obsolete, and what sucks is that you guys pay 15 dollars a month,and the make an exspansion for you to buy. Instead of releasing it patch notes.

Sorry had to rant.

Schoolimangooli

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

AKA

The official B-Movie Video Game.

sadisticfreak432

Of course, the Muslims. Those damn terrorists. Won't pay for their rap concerts. Also, what the fuck? Who pays people with crystal skulls for rap concerts? And who plays rap concerts in a war-torn country? Better yet, who GOES to rap concerts in war-torn countries?

Samos42

@LittleBigPlaneteer:
That can't possibly be a serious comment.

It starts off with a sold out American rap concert in a war-torn middle eastern country..
A concert promoter gives him a priceless treasure, instead of part of the profits of the sold out rap concert.
50 and his fellow rappers are "ambushed" but of course left alive, perhaps because these are kind terrorists, who only steal for the poor.

Far fetched or not, it sounds absolutely ridiculous and shallow.

StevenRafael

Oh now I don't know... swap out "concert" for "town faire" and 50 Cent for some spiky-haired temperamental loner possibly named Mica or Numo or Fira and you've got the plot of pretty much every RPG ever written.

humorbot

This story is moving...the plot gripping. But where does "money, drugs, and hoes" come into play?

KMatt

Terrorists stole his bling yo.

Muthafucka ain't havin' it.

The_Antihippy

@pandafresh:
im quite sure that mini bash writing talent should not be wasted on this game, now wheres my Commander Robo game im still waiting for that, now theres an awesome story.

ninja_squirrel

I think I just puked a little.

I guess for every Bioshock there's an equal and opposite...

QualityJeverage

I smell a boycott of this crap.

ghnvt

In an attempt to be anti-satirical, I will be honest and say that this game looks completely amazing.

A crystal skull.

So is this what 50's working on now that he retired from rapping because of Kanye?

freakoflink

Did someone ask for a sequel?
I wasn't sure.

thomasav

i think the phrase "lmao" just gained a whole new meaning.

ElGatoMuerto

@madhotch: The first one had really, really good graphics, too. It just played poorly.

I could actually see this being fun. Something like Uncharted's gunplay in the desert with 50 Cent? I could enjoy that...

InsidiousTuna

well maybe all that diamond armor will protect some of him from getting shot

pokebud

wow, that was the most idiotic thing i ever heard. it sounds like satire, but its not.

ryanfrost

APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i mean, april fool's day? somebody please say something!
-crickets-

fine be that way guys!

-performs pile driver on self-
ouch!

zanzibarlegend

Better than this horrible trite called "Isle of Quel'Danas" that blizzard is shoving down our throat.

Chief2BeaR

GTA IV can go home, game of the year '08 has arrived.

Darth Navster

Hey Fifty, why can't you do us all a favor and go fight in Iraq for us?

And there's no black person on this whole fucking planet who would go to the Middle East to do a concert.

I can't wait to hear the voice acting for this game... "Durka lurka!"

blacksamurai87

There was an article on Saturday asking if gaming needs writers. A question has never been answered as thoroughly as this one has. The answer is: yes. Oh sweet Jesus tap dancing Christ yes.

Doomstalk

Indiana Jones: FIDDY CENT STYLE!!

excel_excel

Why? Just why?

Y0URGOD78

How does fifty cent dies if he bullet proof, Knives?

Schoolimangooli

@Arttemis: That's exactly what I though when I first read this!

tmanflys

@Xander:
XDDD

SolidOni_ds

@seafisch: Funny, but he doesn't write his own music.

InsidiousTuna

@pandafresh: Nobody could write a better story, and it is folly to believe elsewise.

frostcircus

Giant Bling Skull to wear around his neck.

Kanye couldn't pull that off.
Daft Punk.

suburbancowboy

Man, lolocaust

Roflcopter_Down: Wants you to follow HIM!

This is a total waiste of programming skills and man hours.

JorgieX

i'm buying this game day 1

mossberg

Hey, Shaq Fu had a crazy story, and it turned out alright.

Xander

Man, this one time, I too, was left without skull.

Spilt_Milk

I seriously just LOL'd. The title is ridiculous, and I can't believe the person being interviewed felt they actually had to explain it. I swear a 6th grade boy could write a better story, in fact I say we get Mr. Mini-Bash to submit a 50 Cent Story.

pandafresh

My God, this has to be somewhere on the Mayan calendar. Somewhere near the end.

PapaBear434

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!

For true?

Taco Bell™

crystal skull?

how about empty skull....

Cell9song

That's a lot of so's..

Kamizzle

Pimping up with the Jones's?

NunianVonFuch

...... sorry press the enter key by mistake, anyway if you think that games like FF7 are emotional and silent hill is complicated or that psychonauts has great characters has great characters and writing this game is for you .......wow now i felt bad for mentioning psychonauts in there, such game should not be mention next to this game.

ninja_squirrel

Why are people finding the plot that hard to believe? It's honestly not that far fetched people......

LittleBigPlaneteer

Sorry, i don't have any money for you guys. How about this NATIONAL TREASURE?!!?? I don't really need it.

supershavin

Sweet merciful lord... why?

Indy_aka_Rex

April Fools!
Please

Noks415

This is going to be awesome. I hope Steven Segal features as his sidekick.

ErskinPig

I'm also not seeing the "sold-out rap concert in a war-torn third world country."

Who the fuck bought all those tickets? Donkeys and camels?

fecalchaos

This is using the Unreal Engine 3!

LittleBigPlaneteer

wow this has got to be the most complicated plot i have ever read, frankly of y

ninja_squirrel

Ha ha that is one hilarious synopsis.
It would be funny if your health meter allowed you to be shot nine times for satirical purposes.
Although I would have thought the whole thing was satirical. But I know some kids out there will take it seriously.

johnny_ultimate

@myself from previous post: Here is a game that I now care even less about and feel shameful for the people that were forced at gun point (prolly by G-Unit and fidddy) to write this terrible abomination of fiction and game story....

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAVE THE CHILDREN

Azrial

@ArmyofJuan:

Oh it's real alright.

LittleBigPlaneteer

......wha?

PFFFFFFTTT!!!

aeonpulse

@ArmyofJuan: I am totally holding you to that.

Simply amazing, I haven't heard a more oscar worthy story in some time.

shazmuscle

I love the "that's where the 'blood on the sand' comes in" line. As if the story wasn't already stupid enough to bother explaining the positively brilliant title.

fecalchaos

Fittyana Jones ain't no sucker

polarenvy

HOLY CHRIST A QUEST FOR A SKULL

THIS GAME IS 100% TAILOR-MADE FOR ME

HAUGHAGUHAGUAGHAGALGHALGA

frostcircus

@TheSonicGamer: What a madman.
No wonder we had to send one of our best rappers that this country has to offer.

scotty

So, what part of the middle east is he in exactly? Cause you know, I'd hate to be playing MGS4 and see G-Unit pass me by, fighting some other militia.

Oh, nevermind. Fictional middle east setting.

Magic Emperor Anima

I get it! When he said he will no longer make music if Kanye West outsells him, he said he will be writting crappy stories for games, damn it I wish I bought his album now! (and burned it!)

Zeuxis

I bet you Osama bin Laden probably took the skull. Trying to defeat America by not paying its rappers...

TheSonicGamer

The graphics are surprisingly sharp. IGN had screens up. From the interview I read it sounds like they are making a pretty decent Gears Of War rip-off with a (more) ridiculous plot.

madhotch

haha GTA: 50 cents

Rivers

Oh damn, now this really got my attention...
I guess I'll have to rent this game now...
(And to think that I was making fun of the poor game a couple of hours ago)

scotty

I will only buy this if I can play as one of the people who ambushes him, and 'bust a cap in his ass'!

:P

Zeuxis

This has winner written all over it. No seriously... okay even I can't keep that lie going.

MantisDragon

This has to be fake. It's almost april. There is NO fucking way this is real. And if it is, i'll buy everyone a copy and then 10 MORE copies just for myself.

ArmyofJuan

So...

Resident Evil 5 features white man killing african zombie like villagers. Racist.

50 Cent features black man killing middle-eastern villagers. ...?

TRT-X

I'm going to explain this to all of the thug gamers in my GameStop, and they are going to laugh. Hard.

No one is going to find this storyline entertaining.

Mit

wow. that's EPIC.

akilshohen

I shoulda known that diamond encrusted skull would pop up sooner or later. Remember that?

I hope to god this gets banned, or at least its sales demolished in the backlash once the mainstream media gets hold of this.

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.

Judging by how lame his song lyrics are, I'm guessing he wrote that story himself...

seafisch

so its 50cent put into call of duty 4?

Jamaces

I personally think this story is excellent. A truely epic story about the struggle of the streets.

psyburn

I see the Sci-Fi channel let their writers out.

Phiedny

I give it a 10/10.

strobefx

best game ever...or BESTEST game ever

SolidOni_ds

50 cent and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!

Gogo Spielberg!

Arttemis

Oh my god oh my god oh my god I cannot stop laughing! XD

Aethyr: Brawl. Add me.

...I can feel my brain cells committing ritual suicide to save themselves the dishonor of even thinking about this plot.

Lilinka

I am sorry, but this is ridiculous. 50 Cent just sounds like a bell-end wanting his money and so on. Sounds like he is pretty easy to trick as well - "here have a dodgey skull instead of money".

The game will probably be a proper laugh and even more unrealistic than the first one!

bombyaker

lol i laugh at the people who actually think this is tight. LMAO 1. 50's a snitch 2. hes a little whack bitch and DID NOT get shot 9 times 3. Bastard cant even rap let alone make a story 4. why the fuck would you make another 50 cent game? 5. What ever company is backing this game should be slaughterd

CQC_NastyN8

Holy shit. There just isn't a big enough facepalm for this one.

inanimaterod

@big_world:
haha nice one!

neojam

Ok, honestly, that story is just so ridiculous that it really makes me want to play this game. I'm totally serious.

Unfortunately, I have a strict "not renting (nevermind buying) shitty games" policy, so I can only hope the gameplay is as rich as the storyline.

Oh man... that's just too much.

headcase88

THIS SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

HeartAino