This dude is seriously in a league of his own.

dgonchild

He better be being sarcastic with those comments...

I don't think I can say anything else that hasn't already been said so far in the comments here, so I'll just say to wait until May 23. Then I'll be laughing all the way to the theater where I'll watch Indiana Jones - not Postal.

Blah8

*pics up phone, calls hitman agency* I'd like to place an order...

Jagzthebest

I can see this becoming quite a hit on The Bittorrent. No one's going to want to pay to see this, but I know I love to watch train wrecks as much as any other guy.

Myrpok

@heisert: Give it up Uwe, we know it's you!

liquid_kore

With that last line, I think he's joking... Or at least I hope he is...

Samos42

@valarmorghulis: "...OF Bollshit"

crap

valarmorghulis

"Ewe then went on to offer me another serving it Bollshit (TM)."

valarmorghulis

I'm sure this insult won't hurt Ben Kingsley nearly as much as the insult of putting him in a movie as bad as BloodRayne.

LeChuck

I want the drugs Uwe is on.

radink360

Goddammit, how did Boll get out of his cage? C'mon people I need round the clock security for him...you guys know he's not supposed to leave his cage in the daytime.

Mikey G

This guy reminds me of Til Schweiger's character "Mark" in SLC Punk. He just doesn't know when to quit, does he?

CasualGeek

Best part of it all is that he had Ben Kingsley in the travesty that was Bloodrayne. Ha.

Luke

Uwe is one person that I wouldn't mind if just disappeared along with his boatload of crappy movies.

WolfGod

He actually seems to be a great guy. I'd definitely have a beer or two with him.

Carroceiro

@LittleBigPlaneteer: I pitty you.

Amazing-Steve

I have to admit, i've seen his movies. I've given in to this "marketing".

Its too bad for him that I bit torrent them.

expansionsss

uwe hates spielberg and trashes the schindlers,list...

too many... bigot jokes... i must avoid... making...

sorry, off to the loo, this is too much pressure for me.

jtraveller

Can somebody make him just go away? Maybe he and JT could get a room off in neverland....

phnord

hahaha, what a joke. He'll be lucky in Postal makes 1/100th during the opening weekend that Indiana Jones will make.

NoFunShogun

If I was in the public, I could create controversy, too. Really not that tough.

Dirty Mongrel

Wow this guy can really take a fucking joke XD
Read his email carefully people, he's dying inside.

goldwings

Uwe Boll?? Haven't we graduated beyond him?

Black_Ops_19

At least he's right about Spieldberg's propensity to put a f*cking BOW on every movie he's been making. In War of the Worlds, the kid should have died. AI was supposed to be a beautifully disturbing movie...but it pulled punches.

Minority Report was likewise a bit too happy at the end (precogs all live happily ever after). Munich I liked, but again at the end it went long so he could show you that Avner was going to be safe from now on (don't worry kids!)

Life sucks and is hard - he makes well crafted movies but can't stop himself from making a movie ending. I would sing the man's praises on the highest of rooftops if he would just show that sometimes there is no silver lining in the clouds.

SuedeGopher

I just waved the Self-Righteous Meter over the comments in this thread, and have come to the unfortunate conclusion that many of you need to stop taking yourselves so seriously.

Because you've broken my damn Meter. You know who you are.

pylon_trooper

Why even pay attention to what Uwe Boll says?

gwrrrk

In an attempt to cheer up an otherwise drab Wednesday, I've decided to play devil's advocate and try and find one good thing to say about Uwe Boll...

*-_-*

I guess in a way he (like Jessica Simpson) proves that even if you're a talentless hack who's only claim to fame is how much you suck...you can still get your name in the news and make a ton of money in the process.

Truly the American dream.

TRT-X

He is just using the whole thing as a publicity stunt, i doubt for one second he believes what he is saying.

TheInquisitor

Oh dear god we're all doomed. Uwe Bolls sense of reality has started to merge with Jack Thompsons sense of reality.

hudsonhawk

I kind of want to see postal. Out of sheer curiosity...

Fyren

PLEASE stop giving him more press...

EgoMonk

Its amazing how oblivious he is to his own shitness, However I am in the mood to watch Schindler's list; good film.

Sniper_Zegai

Boll, as bad a director as he may be, is clearly being facetious in those comments, and you all fell for it. Now that's sad.

exolstice

Jackass

jocaju

AAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh god, my sides! It hurts!

chenry

Yeah, he's drunk.

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.

Postal may be the only half way decent movie he ever makes.

Rebelphoenix83

I know I'm risking the BanHammer for what I'm about to say, but . . .
I just watched the opening scene of Postal on YouTube . . . and it was funny. Like, pretty damn funny. I laughed out loud. Then I cried because I'm a heretic. But still laughed.

*quietly weeping inside*

busboy33

Jones is going to whip postal up the winrar. Also, Uwe fails at directions.

munkah

uwe rulez!

heisert

Uwe, I nominate you for Biggest Douche in the Universe
Oh and your comment about Jaws really pissed me off, just so you know!

Lyrics to the song at the Biggest Douche in the Universe Awards:

Here he is,
The biggest douche of the universe.
In all the galaxies,
There's no bigger douche than you.

You've reached the top,
The pinnacle of douchedom.
Good goin' douche.
Your dream has come true.

cartoonsmart

Herr Boll, lol!

BenignMuffin

Typically anything Mr. Boll says is ripe for derision, but in this case... Spielberg is terrible, and after seeing Harrison Ford's attitude towards Blade Runner ("It was just a job") I wish not-nice things upon him.
But I don't want to look uncool in front of the internet, so booo Uwe! I'm rad.

Anthropomancer

He might be a fountain of shit, but he was right about the cheesy ending in War of The Worlds.

GMC

OMG who is this ahole? All ppl know that Indy is god incarnate :P. Now seriously he cant just trash 2 of the most awsome film contributors of our time. Spilberg director master and Harrison Ford actor supreme.

FelicioLostHorizonPT

I just kind of...ya know...feel bad for him.

Either he's been marginally serious, and is just trying to up his publicity.

Or he's trying to be funny, and is trying to up his publicity.

This is similar to when Noal Gallagher from Oasis said that the guys from Blur should get AIDs and die.

deviantCharles

/boggle

Marcus Fenix

This is the main kinda reason why people won't give him the time of day he conducts himself in the manner of the internet geeks he hates so much.

Jamie_W

@Gouki4u: If anything I think he's laughing at how seriously we all take ourselves and our hobby.

Based on the tone of this article and the tone of the responses it's pretty clear who has the better sense of humour.

Deservedly or otherwise, Uwe Boll takes a lot of flak, I see no harm in him giving some back. I see far worse in the comments sections on videogame websites every day. I think a little perspective and self awareness helps in these matters.

It's funny how poor a culture like videogames culture is at taking any sort of criticism compared to how much time they spend dishing it out.

Internet is serious business :)

Bumpmap

The German director suggests that Jaws is sloppy in places.

jcsunshine

Uwe Boll is laughing at us. He's a professional train wreck. He has made being a laughing stock into a viable career. I no longer believe he is genuinely nuts. There is a method to his madness.

Gouki4u

I'm not completely sure he's joking...I wouldn't put it past him to be that retarded. I mean..just look at the kind of crap he puts on screen. I hope he's not being serious ( even though i think considering this might be a clever marketing ploy is giving him WAY too much credit). Add to that the fact that Postal is releasing against Indy IV, I think he might've taken a few too many blows to the head. If he's actually being serious, if not completely retarded, he has to be AT LEAST the most egotistical (and least talented) man in the business.

Fieldy

What a clown, seriously

thinred

I think I might go see postal now. One day there going to make a movie about Uwe and I want to be able to say I saw what might be his "planet 9".

GUNLOC_MORIYM

I shall watch Indy twice and burn two of his reels. Ah, that'll feel good. It'll serve the theater right for buying his horrible movies.

(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A JOKE, I DO NOT INTEND TO COMMIT ACTS OF VANDALISM AGAINST A THEATER, AS MUCH AS IT MAY ACTUALLY BE DESERVED)

bobtheduck

I understand that sarcasm does not come off well in text, but come on people. This is pathetic.

shimage

Yeah, we all know he's joking, but still, this is like the Rick Rude equivalent of "cheap heat" as the wrassling nerds might say. Not that I'm one of them. Nope.

AlKusanagi

Throw hate on one of the best performances in cinema ever? Why oh why would one do that? Sure poo on Spielberg but on Sir Ben Kingsley?!? He is out of his mind, he must be so afraid that he sits at home shaking thinking that this will be his last fucking movie before angry fans come raiding his home with shotguns, tape it, and release it as a new, much more critialy acclaimed, version of Postal...

TakeoNinja

Oh and Remember all the junk about Uwe "fighting" his Critics in the Ring? Apparently he's afraid of at least one...

[www.filmdrunk.com]

DaiMacculate

Why doesn't someone put him out of our misery?

JaXs

Someone throw some chlorine into this guy's Genepool. Seriously.

Patient

uh ya

dblueguy

Nobody talks shit about Han Solo, nobody.

SonicNirvana

@SG79: PHD is Pretty Huge Dementia...

VakeroRokero

Hey Uwe! Look who's talking!

@SmilingPolitely: LOL, Nice reply.

jaymac

@SmilingPolitely: a picture is worth 1000 words. lol...

VakeroRokero

You know what surprises me about the statement he made?

The fact that Postal is getting a US release at all. I mean, it opens with 9/11 as a joke. You figure most theaters wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole.

Cutedge

And this man has a PhD? Perhaps he's been lying and the acronym stands for something else. (Pretty Huge, which would fit him as well).

SG79

@Kirbytheslayer: In-Kirby XMB: I know. And it's still retarded.

SmilingPolitely

@darktorns:

The way they figure it, he's about due for a good performance.

Nah, I think most of his movies are privately financed anyway.

GregoriusH

Stupid doucheman.

Evo

Lets see how many theaters actually show Postal and compare it to how many will show Indy.

chip5541

@DaiMacculate: I forgot that a Postal movie were even coming out...

Ah well, just the same. SEE YOU ALL AT THE INDY MOVIE!

Soldier_CLE

I think he was either joking or lost his last cluster of marbles.

Voteforme2020

wouldn't it be funny if he made a good movie out of nowhere? you know, just to fuck with people?

decodergrizzly

why do studios keep giving him money to make films again? its like throwing money into pile of turd.

darktorns

My God... I agree with Boll on something. Why DID the older brother survive? It's a bullshit cop-out thanks to Spielberg getting all touchy feely on us.

He's often said that if he had made "Strange Encounters" after he had kids, the Dad would never have left, because he wouldn't be able to bear the heartbreak of seeing that scene on film.

PapaBear434

I seriously think that Spielberg may have paid for this, how many of us are fractionally more likely now to go see Indiana Jones just to spite him? I might have seen it anyway, but yeah.

DaiMacculate

@AlKusanagi: You mean the Meat Circus right?

zoesch

@Kirbytheslayer: In-Kirby XMB: Agreed. That most people can't see that is kind of sad.

I plan on seeing Indy, and I also plan on seeing Postal. "In the Name of the King" was fun to riff on, especially since we got to riff on it in the theatre (normally we respect other movie-goers, but there were none).

thorshammer

Free PR, Uwe wins.
Whats funnier is all the haters that run to call Uwe an idiot, but are not smart enough to realizing hes just doing it for the PR.

Tbh, to me it seems both Indy and Postal can be entertaining movies.

JojoTheSlayer

Some people need to just get a life, yeah, that's you, UWE.

dalejrfanfreak

Okay, people.

You all missed the joke.

Do you people honestly believe that he thinks Schindler's list is a bad movie, and his satire based on a video game is better?

No. He's being sarcastic. You are all so stupid for not being able to detect sarcasm in a statement that starts off with "My role as a Nazi Amusement Park Owner".

Kirbytheslayer: In-Kirby XMB

Uwe Boll contributes to the world in a way that only a pro-choice clinic can admire.

Meaning, he releases shit that nobody wants.

itduzzinmatta

Uwe, what will we do with you? You like my mom, always telling lies...

Amazon_Chris

I'm not even going to stress myself on yet another of Uwe's thought pausing, woefully delusional, rantings. A hack like him is actually giving criticisms on the work of a director whose probably shitted more hits on a toilet than he'll ever be able to in a lifetime? Somebody needs to stop giving him adhesives as a nasal inhalant.

KeroseneClimax

wow he has brass balls. Spielberg will be remembered as one of the greatest directors. Sure he makes popcorn flicks but they are damn good ones. While Uwe will be remembered as the next Ed Wood.

clintonskneecap

"Harrison Ford is older as my grandpa"?

Guess it shouldn't surprise me that he butchers English as well.

cheez

Will someone revoke his filmmaker's license? Please? Just keep him away from all forms of recording equipment, I beg you.

BambooCactus

Wow he says Harrison Ford is old and then mentions Fatass Mcbitchateverything. Wtf?

tshack

Okay....I love him now.

I used to rather dislike him, but that was brilliant. That was hilarious.

The whole thing is taking the piss out of his detractors.

He's making fun of himself. The whole thing is tongue in cheek.

Kirbytheslayer: In-Kirby XMB

On his defence, he was prolly drunk.

Ludwig

Somewhere out there someone just made the decision to purchase Postal 3 after all.

Coldbrand

@mr_dimsum:
He would do better if he tried making movies and stopped acting like a tool.
And apparently Boll forgot Kingsley was in Bloodrayne.

Erwin

Okay. Who let Uncle Uwe out of the Mental Asylum again?

Vyse24

Wait wait, so he's knocking an actor he's already had in one of his own movies? What a dick.

Eville1

I think i'll see Indiana Jones...twice on opening day.I may also try and dissuade people from buying postal tickets using my own money. Anything, ANYTHING to get this guy to shut up and stop making movies.

supershavin

"My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!"

Wow. Just...wow. Ben Kingsley was nice/desperate enough to be in the cinematic perfection that is Bloodrayne and Boll STILL shits on him!? Man has balls of steel. Or is kinda retarded. Or maybe both.

ninjaraiden

Insane? Forget it. It's become obvious at this point. He knows full well he makes more money acting like a nutball who puts out horrendously bad movies than any attempt to be made serious.

He's not stupid. No way, nobody would give him any financing if they thought he was inept. This is pure, calculated business. His movies cost almost nothing to make, so even a complete BOMB can turn a profit. He than pokes the 'underground market' (you know, guys like us who read gaming/entertainment blogs) and gets enough people masochistic or curious enuogh to actually pick it up.

And profits.

I don't even hate him anymore. I really don't feel anything. Just see his angle, s'all.

Evdor

SmilingPolitely

Jack Thompson is like the leader of the christian club at school who's secretly a bully, but this guy is the obnoxious kid who hangs out with you just because you can never get rid of him, no matter what you do.

Erwin

@Aex: Adblock

Rockwallaby

Whatever... Uwe, Steven, Harrison. they all suck.

:)

Wyld

@romBox: booby traps

Rockwallaby

Rofl, I know I'll be watching Indy ;)

Btw, Anyone else notice Kotaku is plastered with Suicide Girls Ads? I like it... game news and porn all with one bookmark :p

Aex

This man has gone completely insane.

I love him. Hate his movies, but love him.

Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.

Sometimes I wonder if Uwe Boll is some elaborate marketing genius/business aficionado. Not only does he take advantage of Germany and swindle them into paying him a 50% return on his film production costs, but he also gets in the press every freaking other day (albeit, for negative reasons).

But come on.. The following comments have to be some type of ludicrous smart marketing ploy he knew would generate buzz for his new movie. To say you're better than Spielberg, that you act better than Ben Kingsley, and that Harrison Ford is old (okay, maybe not that one) in one short little paragraph is just mind boggling. Even more so due to his credibility (or lack thereof) in the entertainment industry.

I'm beginning to think this guy isn't as dumb as he seems. Yes, he was an amateur boxer before and probably lost some brain cells along the way.. And yes, he has no creative talent whatsoever.

But god, of all people, can you believe HE is a wealthy millionaire? All he did was produce fecal matter on the cinema screen. Heck, I produce fecal matter everyday and can throw it on my television too!

mr_dimsum

You shouldnt do interviews after a drug binge.

JackTretton

"we will go out and destroy Indiana Jones in the Box Office!"

Unless he's planning on using dynamite, I have no idea how he could pull this off.

romBox

I like his show confidence. Although it won't do him any good, but I want to see what he has to say after the box office results... I'm waiting

Trowble (XBL/PSN)

let that be a lesson to you if you make crap movies just make fun of those who don't make yourself more famous!

Raziel3333

the guy's so stupid, his lack of IQ goes into minus figures, collapses in on itself, gets sucked through negative space and emerges as twisted genius.

gique

Great way to get free press: Say derogatory things about people who are actually talented when promoting your own dreck. He makes some crappy movies, but he is a savvy marketing guy.

Spartan1308

This made me laugh more than Postal will.

Touy

Uwe Boll has learned that controversy gets more viewers (theoretically, of course; it's not a fool-proof system), and thus he's doing everything he can to look like the biggest jackass while insulting movies much better than anything he can make. He's become even more of a joke than he already was.

Ninja-Z

He's probably right. That Shia Labeouf is nothin but a poof

ArmyofJuan

What a douchebag.

Otaconnachos

Boll is in no position to be critical of even high school level movie production. it's obvious he's just saying it as an attention getter, but still.....it's like he's making a bullshit sandwich, the movie alone is going to be hard enough to swallow. and yeah there's no way he's going to beat indiana jones on the first day....if ever.

mightyg

Wow I can't believe he said that about Schindler's List. Id like to live in a fantasy world too.

mnml10387

lawl that just made my night.

DarkTravesty

Hah, fantastic. Love the way he's just playing it up now.

And I can see that he's playing some of our oh-so-smart kotaku commenters like fiddles. :)

Tulkamir

This is just saaaaad...

Hiro0015

Hey UWE I'll fight you any day of the week pal.

Knight-Zero

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

.......

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

What a fuckin' idiot.
Sorry for saying that, but he is.

FIRST!!!

Are we supposed to read anything into his statement?

"My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!"

Leathersoup

facepalm...wow hes stupid, i feel bad for him.

kcgig101

I can understand him making fun of "indie" filmmakers who try to make art but fail and still make less money than Boll, but to take on Spielberg is nonsensical. The man has much more talent and success than Boll could ever hope to have.

peAr_nectAr

If anyone actually replies to this seriously I will pity them

LittleBigPlaneteer

Oh Uwe... His world must be a wonderful place to visit.

AlKusanagi

oh lawd

StopTheOncoming

I didn't think it was possible to hate someone even more but Boll seems to do it every time I read another article on him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

freespeech

@hudsonhawk: Do you think we'd be able to get the two of them to switch places for a year? Let Jacko direct the shitty video game-based movies and have Boll(ocks) be the guy saying video games "are sending America down an infinite spiral of moral decay" in his best/worst broken English? Imagine the hilarity that would ensue!

WillyFourEyes

Dear god. That douche will surely never stops to amaze me.

Xmaster

I'm quite convinced by now that the man has left the realm of legitimate ignorance and has become a fully fledged troll.

Nitroid

I wish that UWE was the kid in this image:

[www.theweeklydonut.com]

D.O.D.

@ungivenglory: ...True

Bam345

Try hating on that guy in the mirror, Boll...

KM91

What the fuck!? I kinda respected him up until now.

cb_32

I really do think Spielberg is a hackish director. Not as bad as Ron Howard, but definitely in the same neighborhood.

SSJPabs

Speilberg could release an entire feature length film of nothing but him taking a dump and it would "out gross" (pun intended) all of this ass clown's movies put together in a single day.

Mr.SithNinja

Oh yeah? Well guess what, f*ckwit... Speilberg's releases aren't doomed to direct-to-DVD futures!

Enigma_20XX

@Bam345: even so, Uwe's directing is also a joke, counteracting any and all jokes that he makes, making him a douche.

ungivenglory

Uwe isn't fit to criticize the home shopping channel in terms of directing.

But as basically the Tom Green of movie making, he's successfully laid bait to generate controversy and get his name published again. Yay.

Why can't we convince JT that Boll's glamorizing video games with his movies and have the two imbiciles fight it out amongst themselves?

fuchikoma

"My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!"

This, people, is what we call a joke, you are not meant to take it seriously, the man is JOKING.

Bam345

@liquid_kore: Ich könnte einen Boxkampf organsieren! Eine Rolle im nächsten Film wäre auch noch frei!

heisert

This leads me to assume that Uwe hasn't seen any of his own movies.. House of the dead anyone?

Best quote from the movie:

Rudy: You did all this to become immortal. Why?
Castillo: To live forever!

There is no cheese finer than that of Uwe.

ungivenglory