Crisis. Averted. The BBFC, Britain's classification board, have cleared Grand Theft Auto IV for release, awarding it an adults-only "18" rating. Bad news for 12 year-olds the country over, but good news for Rockstar, who after a pretty hairy release list of late (ie Bully & Manhunt 2) have managed to get the latest GTA title past three of the toughest classification boards (in Britain, Germany & Australia) in the Western world. Bravo.
GTA IV gets BBFC go-ahead [CVG]

Ah, yes. Here's the exclusive trailer for the upcoming pc title Overclocked: A History of Violence. It's an adventure game that has players take on the role of psychiatrist as he explores the memories of six patients. There's noisy music too, apparently. We wish there wasn't. Our ears are oh so delicate.

Sony weren't messing around when they let us know in advance that GT5 Prologue was going to sell. Even taking into account the fact the game's online launch was hit with a delay, it still debuted atop the charts, the first PS3 title to do so for a long time. Sorry the rest can't be as exciting, however, as it's business as usual, with the standard Bran Training, Mario & Sonic, Wii Play, etc taking up their regular positions.

This is one of swish bathroom stuff manufacturer Jado's luxury faucets, designed by renowned designer type Jean Nouvel. Relevance to you? It forgos all taps, levers and blue/red colour schemes in favour of a more well-known control scheme: a PlayStation button layout. O turns the water on, X turns the water off, triangle turns the temperature up, triangle turns the temperature down, and square...oh, there's no square. Probably to keep the lawyers away. No rumble, either, but then for designer prices you wouldn't expect last-gen bathroom features, would you?
Jado Products [Jado, via Giz]

Total. Nerd. Meltdown. Here's Bandai Namco's idol singer sim THE iDOLM@STER mixed with The Matrix Reloaded for this viral-type iDOLM@STER promo. What's this imagery mash-up called? Yep, THE iM@TRIX.

What'd I do today? I was meant to do some work. That didn't really happen. Instead, I ended up hovering around Ikarium all day. It's a free, web-based strategy game that's basically Civilization, except it's web-based, and it's free. And entirely multiplayer. Alliances, diplomacy, war, trade, the works. What's best is that build routines are done in real-time, so you can open it up first thing in the morning, set some orders then just let it run over the course of the day, only requiring you to check in every now and again to keep things ticking along. Just like a good web-based (ie office-friendly) game should be.
Ikarium [Gameforge, via TIGS]

Sure, these are just promo items. But not real promo items — casual promo items. Like, you can kinda just pick them up and put them on. Whenever.
WiiFit Calcetines [Revogamers via Go Nintendo]

Supreme Commander creator Chris Taylor has big ideas for Supreme Commander 2. Ideas involving extra factions. Thing is, he can't execute on them. Not yet, anyways. Because modern PCs, with their SLis and quad cores and whatnot, just aren't capable of doing what he wants them to do:

Yep! That first Oneechanbara: The Movie trailer was just a tease. So many blanks to fill in! Like, well, yeah. Anyway, this is pretty much exactly what we were imagining — down even to the schmalzy music, cheesy effects and exploding decapitated heads. What, you were expecting something else? Oneechanbara Trailer [Megatonik]

Broken Review are calling this a durability test. Why the lies? If you kids wanna go out and smash stuff up, you don't need to go doing it in the name of science. No shame in doing it in the name of smashing stuff up. Anyways, whatever, what's surprising is that after all that punishment, and with the UMD drive and screen completely obliterated, the PSP would still turn on, and its menu could be accessed via TV out. Sturdy!
Sony PSP Slim + Lite [Broken Review]

Hinted at in the recent monthly manga Shonen Ace magazine article, here are three newish (low-res unfortunately!) screenies of pointy boob character Angol Fia. Sharp mammaries aside, spikes are fine and all, but these seem to just get in the way. She could get hurt!

That pesky R18+ rating issue! Why won't it just go away? Probably because games are being discriminated against, adult gamers are being treated like children and the OFLC is being unnecessarily restricted.

But enough of that. We've made some headway - finally. Let's look to the future now instead of the past, and start building on the progress we've made.

Before you do that, however, you might want to go back over the month just gone. Australia was a hot bed of gaming activity. Super Mario Bros. Brawl made its way to our shores via alternate routes, despite Nintendo remaining mum on an official release date. I got hammered and played poker at the Vegas 2 launch and Rockstar thought it'd be an awesome idea to charge $120 for GTA IV. You can buy a second-hand PS2 for that!

Official Xbox 360 Magazine parted ways with publisher Derwent Howard, but it made up for it with the launch of Ultimate Nintendo Magazine, which is a fair swap, if you ask me.

Kieren Perkins helped launch Wii Fit, Frontlines was briefly available on Steam before THQ whisked it away and three-way SLI showed itself to be, well, expensive.

Obviously, there was more that happened this month, but we'll let you peruse it all at your own pace.

Free Online RPG EUO Celebrates 5th Birthday With Experience Bonanza

Be A Life Saver, Throw Beach Balls At People

Sub-Con Warrior 2.0: When Gaming Meets Theatre

What's In The God of War: Chains of Olympus Box?

Aussie-Made Knitted Sackboy

Rainbow Six Vegas 2 Oz Launch Party

Australia, Buy Super Smash Bros Brawl, $99.95 From GameTraders

How To Have Easter With Super Mario & Portal

You Want GTA IV Australia? That'll Be $120, Thanks

Microsoft, Samsung Announce Asia Pacific Halo 3 Tournament, Includes Prizes Galore

Sidhe Talks About Sony's PhyreEngine

Victorians Can Get Rock Band PS3 Too

Tantalus Looking For Talent, Industry Experience Not Necessary

Australia Gets Ultimate Nintendo Mag

Atari Steam Games? Not For Australia

Australian Wii Fit Launch, Now With Kieren Perkins

Derwent Howard, Future Split Confirmed

Derwent Howard To Lose Official Xbox 360 Magazine, Future To Enter Oz Market?

Why Michael Atkinson's Opposal Of An R18+ Rating For Games Does Bugger All To Protect Kids, Promotes Crime

Civilization Revolution Xbox 360 Faceplate Has Famous People On It

Frontlines Gone From Steam For Oz Users, Shouldn't Have Been There

Hand-Sprayed Frontlines Xbox 360 Elite Could Be Yours

Should You Buy 3-Way SLI?

Paying homage to risqué DS game Duel Love, erotic game maker Clock Up raises the anty with Nuntendo bS "game" Disgrace Academy Principal/Slave Club ~Mind Reading Training Transcript~. The girl mind reading/slave quarters training adventure "game" has players rub and blow in a game system that's reminiscent of Duel Love's. But in a way more explicit and shameful way. Hit the jump for the game's "screenshots". Be warned, they're TOTALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Beware!

Simple premise here. You run down a hallway lifting the skirts of Japanese schoolgirls. As one does. Your lifting prowess is assessed according to both your speed and accuracy. Be careful not to touch the grown-up women, though, because touching the women gets you in trouble. Amazing stuff, but bear in mind, it's totally not suitable for work.
Mekuri master [Nigoro, via IndieGames]

The Championship Gaming Series have announced that they're to establish a "training facility and a dedicated game playing arena" in the Chinese city of Wuhan. Aiming to make the most of a city that has over 1.5 million students - many of whom will be gamers - the main purpose of the facility will be to bring in kids off the street, test them to see if they've got the raw skills needed for champ gaming, and if so, train them. In other words, just like a proper sports academy. Surely something to bear in mind if you're ever in China and suddenly find competitive gaming interesting.
Championship Gaming Series to open training centre in China [News]

Speaking with Variety about their recent deal to produce an animated film based on EA's upcoming Dead Space, Starz Media's Scott Greenberg has explained how they'll be going about making a story out of a game that's not even out yet. Step 1, they're making it a prequel, and the game will pick up exactly from where the cartoon leaves off. Step 2? Consult the game's creators on the rich history of their game universe:

Bugs? Hah. Crippled online performance? Whatever. Paying full-price for an expansion pack? You don't give two hoots. Why? Because Ubisoft announced today that they've shipped 2 million copies of Rainbow Six Vegas 2, which when you consider the game's short gestation period and myriad of problems is good news for the company. Not good news for gamers, since it shows Ubisoft can release any old guff and get away with charging $US 60 for it, but hey, we're not talking about you. We're talking about Ubisoft.

Wedbush Morgan analyst and Kotaku reader idol Michael Pachter went on record with the Dallas News with his theory on one reason it's still so damn hard to find a Wii. The United States dollar, he's paraphrased as saying, is so limp, that Nintendo is shipping excess consoles to Europe to meet demand there, squeezing out a bit of extra profit when all is said and done. It's not like Nintendo is completely abandoning American gamers—it sold 432,000 Wiis in February—it may just be allocating stock to its first class customer base.

Microsoft send word that today will see Xbox Live down for maintenance between the hours of 20:00-23:00 AEDT. Anyone hoping for some kind of April Fool's Day surprise like an XBL update from Microsoft should do less hoping and more facing reality, as the downtime's for server maintenance, which means "there are no new features...that will appear on your Xbox 360 console or Xbox.com when the service comes back online".
Reminder: Xbox Live Maintenance on Tuesday April 1 [Microsoft]

Not sure whether or not you should pick up THQ's Battle of the Bands (formerly Band Mashups) for the Wii when it comes out late April? I sure was, but that was before I saw the Feel Good, Inc. by the Gorillaz in Spanish. I might actually like it better than the English language version. I suppose I will have to wait until the game is in my hands to know for sure, but make no mistake - this game shall be in my hands. Oh yes it shall.

When Capcom announced about this time last year that it had secured the publishing rights to the MotoGP motorcycle racing championship, it only did so on the PlayStation 2. THQ pumped out versions for the Xbox 360 and PC, last year, but Capcom is going full throttle with MotoGP from here on in. It has announced it has signed a four year licence to bring the racer to Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii, PC, PS2 and mobile platforms. Expect MotoGP 08 on anything and everything later this year. Hopefully featuring zombie riders. I might actually buy that!

It may be May 31 on the Kotaku Tower desk calendar, but it's April 1 somewhere in the realms of The Lord of the Rings Online. Turbine has decided to make with the massively-multiplayer hilarity, announcing that a new playable race, the Fowl-People, would join the currently playable Humans, Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits, bringing new epic quests and new housing options (coops, henhouses, etc.).

From the creators of The Witcher PC RPG comes The Witcher: DuelMail, a turn-based fighter that plays in your web browser. The game's simple mechanics conceal its addictive nature. Basically you choose one of three character types - witcher, sorceress, or frightener - select a series of attacks and defensive moves, and then hope your moves counter the ones your opponent has picked. Battles play out in your web browser, with the victor receiving experience points and gold to spend on new moves and equipment. Once a fight is finished you can copy the link for the fight to share your victories and defeats with your friends. Developer one2tribe Company has big plans for DuelMail, including special events and constant updates to keep things fresh. Open beta starts April 7th, when thousands of players will discover just how damn addictive this little web game can be.

When Dark Sector was refused classification in Australia, we decided to chase not only the publisher, D3, but AFA Interactive, the local distributor and developer Digital Extremes.

AFA today got back to us with the following information.

An anonymous tipster has sent us a batch of sexy-as screenshots (and the above piece of concept art) for an upcoming title based on Alcatraz, the disused prison located in the middle of the San Francisco Bay in the US.

According to our source, the game won't be based on the 1979 film Escape from Alcatraz that starred Clint Eastwood, but the earlier 1962 flick Birdman of Alcatraz. Word is, the developer is trying to get Burt Lancaster to voice the game's titular character, but apparently it's having trouble convincing the 95-year old actor to breathe for extended periods of time.

The one feature of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots that seems to be getting the least attention, despite being such a high profile change, is the ol' soup strainer on Old Snake. Snake is equipped with a meaty, manly moustache in the fourth MGS, presumably to soften the sound of the breeze passing across his hardened angular upper lip for stealthier stealthiness.

To: Bash
From: Crecente
Re: A Little Cooking Help, Please?

Well project GC is well underway. Hopefully you guys can put some finishing touches on it tonight in time for tomorrow's big roll out. I spent a bulk of the day looking at the stories and talking with Adam about his end of the project. I know it will be late for you, but I hope you and Luke can try and stay awake till 8 a.m. to check it out.

What you missed:
PSN Redesign Revealed
You Just Won IGF! That Means...?
Dark Sector Review: A Difficult Journey
Still Alive for Rock Band Free Tommorrow
At Least One More PlayStation 3 Model Coming

Square Enix announced today that it would be bringing Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo's Dungeon exclusively to the Wii on July 8. Cost to you? Only $US 39.99! The action-RPG features the previously feathered designs of Toshiyuki Itahana and, based on the trailer for the Japanese version, will be so horrifically adorable that you'll want to rip your face off just like that guy did in Poltergeist after he ate that maggot-y chicken leg.

Beyond the painfully cute aesthetic, Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo's Dungeon promises mini-games and online card battles that we're sure Wii fans won't tire of for a least another six months. Further details on the story and gameplay systems are after this.

After reading today's story about the price of the Mario Kart Wii wheel accessory in the US, I decided to follow up with Nintendo's presence here in Australia - because if anyone's going to know the RRP, it has to be it.

Nintendo Australia was able to confirm that the circular piece of plastic will retail for $19.95. So unless you're really, really dedicated to that authentic racing experience and lack the Year 6 crafting skills to make your own from a $2 piece of cardboard, you won't have to pay much more than the US.