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GTA IV Reviews: An Exercise In Hyperbolism
Posted by Luke Plunkett at 10:20 PM on April 28, 2008
Time for a Frankenreviewreview. Let me explain. Mark has his Frankenreview feature running like a well-oiled machine. Mike's GTA IV write-up is the only review of the game this site's ever going to need to write. So this isn't an exercise in reviewing GTA IV. Or in comparing the reviews of GTA IV. It's an exercise in reviewing the reviews of GTA IV. Or, to be more precise, the hyperbole. Because when a game gets 10/10, 100/100 and five stars across the board, you've gotta do something to break up the monotony, right?
Most major sites are accounted for: IGN, 1UP, Eurogamer...even CVG and Game Informer and have their takes on the game up and published (only GameSpot are missing...maybe their allocated reviewer quit?). All have scored the game between 95-100%. All are hyped about the game. But which is most hyped? Their scores cannot separate them, so let's take a look at their words.
IGN
Their Score: 10/10
Notes: The first review, and at seven pages, the most tedious.
Moment Of Climax: "A "10" is not a score we give out very often. In fact, the last time we gave a 10 to a console game was Soul Calibur in 1999. A 10 doesn't mean a game is perfect — it means a game is pushing boundaries, expanding a genre, and doing many things to a level so far above and beyond its competitors that they overshadows any flaws. Certainly, GTA IV has some issues, the most noticeable being the occasional flaw in the cover system, but there are many more pieces of GTA IV that are better than anything I've seen from a game in the past decade. We don't give 10s often — just to games that merit the score."
My Score: Four knickers twisted out of a possible five. Banging on for seven pages would normally get you a perfect 5, but a costly cop-out at the end, with ass-covering justifications for their scoring system, cost them a knicker.
1UP
Their Score: A+
Notes: Nice, tight review. Covers all the bases.
Moment of Climax: "Fresh off the boat, [Niko's] an illegal immigrant pursuing the dual American dreams of quick money and mass multimedia consumption in the most vibrant, dynamic, and entertainment-packed playground in console videogame history: Liberty City."
My Score: Two twisted knickers out of five. That pasted line above aside, Crispin Boyer's review is - tragically for these purposes - fair and objective, calling out several of the game's flaws, and even closing off with [gasp] a suggestion to Rockstar on how they could improve the thing.
Eurogamer
Their Score: 10/10
Notes: Exhibits the usual Eurogamer restraint, but I can't remember the last time a Eurogamer review ran to four pages.
Moment of Climax: "Almost everything you do in Liberty City would be good enough to drive its own game, and the best parts would be good enough to outrun the competition, but the reason it works so well is that Rockstar has made a game that requires no patience to play. This, as much as its usual coherency and the best script in the series, is what makes GTA IV the best openworld game yet, and why it will take something miraculous to rob it of game of the year status."
My Score: 3 twisted knickers. As I said, it's Eurogamer, so OMG BEST GAME EVAR!!!! was never going to be on the cards. Would have scored it a 2, but hedging bets on GOTY in April earned them an extra pair of entangled lady's drawers.
CVG
Their Score: 9.5/10
Notes: An imperfect score? Something's wrong here...
Moment of Climax: "Should we judge the biggest game of the year as just that, a videogame, and pick holes in its evolution-not-revolution systems which don't exactly re-write the rules? Or should we look at GTA IV as a pure experience, where it wipes the floor with anything else on Xbox 360 and PS3?"
My Score: 2 knickers twisted out of a possible 5. They lose two just for giving it an imperfect score (the cheek of them!) Excitement takes a back seat to caution, as the CVG reviewer flirts between gushing over the experience and picking holes with the gameplay.
Kotaku
Their (well...our) Score: N/A
Notes: Mike plays GTA IV. Mike reviews GTA IV.
Moment of Climax: "Sandbox-style, ultra-violent games like Grand Theft Auto aren't typically my thing, but GTA IV has made me a fan. A fanboy. Rockstar North has addressed virtually every single one of my personal hang ups about the series, crafting one of the most memorable experiences in gaming. We hate to gush, but it's just that good. Flawless? No. But it's about as close to a game can come to being perfect."
My Score: 3.5/5. Misses out on a higher score because we don't do scores. And because flaws are clearly identified. And that I know he's telling the truth when he says that previously, he wasn't a fanboy.
GamePro
Their Score: 5/5
Notes: Before reading this, I thought Rockstar to be but men. Now I see they are Gods.
Moment of Climax: "GTA IV isn't just a game. It's a testament to the immense talent and take-no-prisoners mentality that has made Rockstar the company that it is today."
My Score: 4/5. A 1.5 page-long love letter to Rockstar is the highlight. The fact all game faults are condensed to half a paragraph on the fifth page also contributes to a great score.
GameSpy
Their Score: 5/5
Notes: Odd. I could have sworn some of the most poorly-written sections of IGN's original review (the one up now reads a little differently to the one first posted) have found themselves cut-n-pasted into this one...
Moment of Climax: "It's not a stretch to say that, were this a film, some of the "performances" would be Oscar-worthy. Yes, we're aware that the characters aren't real people, but they are still better actors than many of the people in the yearly crop of summer blockbusters."
My Score: 4/5 twisted knickers. And they're all just for that comment.
Game Informer
Their Score: 10/10
Notes: Probably the best of the lot. And by "best" I mean MOST EXCITED.
Moment of Climax: "Grand Theft Auto IV doesn't just raise the bar for the storied franchise; it completely changes the landscape of gaming. Once you play it, you won't look at video games the same way again."
My Score: 5/5. No, 6/5. It opens with "I now know how film critics felt after screening The Godfather". A perfect storm of hype, excitement and pants-wetting. Best review of the lot. No, best review ever.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Cartman86
Posted 10:57 PM 28/4/08
I am sooo hyped for this game now. But I am worried that these scores are hyped it up a little bit too much. I mean in the past couple years Twilight Princess, Halo 3 all getting perfect scores by some of these sites makes me a little hesitant. Not that these games are bad. No they are in fact great, but like this article points out I am talking about "Oscar worthy performances" and "You won't look at videogames the same way again". But then again this is comparing scores. Not reviews. Halo 3 and Twilight never got those comments, so maybe it really is something special. That story better be damn good. I'm gonna lower my anticipation a little bit though. I am not expecting the next Legend of Zelda, FF, Metal Gear Solid, or GTAIII. And if I do get that then whoopee!
Cartman86
Johnny_Under
Posted 10:56 PM 28/4/08
@Trystero:
I thought X-Play gave EVERY game 3/5.
Johnny_Under
Salen
Posted 10:55 PM 28/4/08
@spaz33: Thats the review I'm waiting for, although I have a bad feeling he's going to have to go to GAMETRADERS ROBINA for an import copy because Australia has the censored version.
Salen
BlackDove
Posted 10:52 PM 28/4/08
Riding the hype machine is kind of lame.
Metacritic wise, there are only 16 reviews out, and there are going to be about 60 by the time everyone is done reviewing it.
BlackDove
frostcircus
Posted 10:49 PM 28/4/08
This was a great idea for an article, nice work Luke.
frostcircus
karasu is my homeboy
Posted 10:47 PM 28/4/08
@karasu is my homeboy: ahh...my post should say "game pro review most ridiculous"
All these magazines names are to similar :/
karasu is my homeboy
Orin
Posted 10:46 PM 28/4/08
I don't know if it's the hype speaking or what, but i am SOOOOOO stoked to play this game ASAP!!!!
Orin
karasu is my homeboy
Posted 10:46 PM 28/4/08
@robinandtami: Absolutely. Shadowrun was amazing and it get hounded on bad because it lacked a single player campaign. It was truly innovative and exclusively in my 360 for months and months.
karasu is my homeboy
karasu is my homeboy
Posted 10:45 PM 28/4/08
@Earthslide: Probably not. Lost Odyssey is pretty much a Final Fantasy game and it averaged 70s, mostly because of the "oldschool battle system." (gasp...if turn based is old school then I don't want to go any further in time.)
Names carry games. Mario Soccer, Tennis and Basketball would be nothing without him.
The hype has much to do with the score, I think. But I also think it is obviously deserving of the score, anyhow.
I found the Game Informer review the most ridiculous. Small section for problems, big section for gushing compliments to the makers? This doesn't belong in the review.
Thanks for looking at content and putting scores aside. It's not done nearly enough. Kotaku ftw.
karasu is my homeboy
Agies
Posted 10:44 PM 28/4/08
@KroKan: Because any jackhole can come allong and give it a one. No one besides the press has played the game yet.
Agies
freakout
Posted 10:44 PM 28/4/08
I laugh at the hyperbole, yet I'm still seriously considering picking up a copy at the midnight launch tonight. Guess it's a testament to the strength of the hype that I want to check it out for myself that badly, despite knowing it's not going to live up to it.
freakout
Captain Impulse
Posted 10:43 PM 28/4/08
@that_happy_cat: X-Play goes for controversy? Is that because they gave Crisis Core a 2/5?
Captain Impulse
Agies
Posted 10:42 PM 28/4/08
Seven pages asside (that tends to be their lgenth for featured reviews), I have to say I agree with their feelings regarding "perfect" scores.
Agies
spaz33
Posted 10:40 PM 28/4/08
And we will see what Zero Punctuation has to say.
spaz33
KroKan
Posted 10:40 PM 28/4/08
Why are the user scores so low? Looks like not everybody thinks it is a masterpiece...
KroKan
eastx
Posted 10:39 PM 28/4/08
@Trystero: I see nothing more "real" about that than any other site's review. No review is official - each one is an individual person's opinion.
eastx
robinandtami
Posted 10:38 PM 28/4/08
@kitkatu:
Actually, you should judge it by how it plays. Take Shadowrun for instance. Reviewers universally trashed it because it didn't have a single player campaign, but it is one of the best FPS games around.
robinandtami
that_happy_cat
Posted 10:36 PM 28/4/08
@Trystero: why would the "real" review be the worst one? What about the small sites (X-play) that go for controversy?
that_happy_cat
eagle14
Posted 10:36 PM 28/4/08
driving controls are weird to get used to at first, first car handles really bad
eagle14
bostano
Posted 10:34 PM 28/4/08
This game is going to save the economy! Or at least help "stimulate" it.
bostano
Trystero
Posted 10:34 PM 28/4/08
Yeesh. I'm probably going to enjoy GTA IV, don't get me wrong. But these reviews are getting nuts. From now on, are all major releases going to be scored on a 9-10 decimal scale? What's the point?
I'm interested to see X-play's review. They gave Vice City three out of five...the score it deserved, but it put the internet into an uproar. Assuming the show retained some editors from those days, their review will represent the "real" one.
Trystero
kitkatu
Posted 10:33 PM 28/4/08
"Their scores cannot separate them, so let's take a look at their words."
Isn't it the case that you should always judge a game by what is said rather than the number at the end?
kitkatu
that_happy_cat
Posted 10:31 PM 28/4/08
"GTA IV's main achievement is making you feel like a man whilst playing it... a man whose balls are being gently cupped"
- 10/10 BallCuppingGamers.com
that_happy_cat
Hauler
Posted 10:29 PM 28/4/08
Good stuff. In a few hours I'll be able to make my own outlandish claims as well. I'll try and work Jesus into my quote though because that always goes over well.
Hauler
Earthslide
Posted 10:29 PM 28/4/08
Looking forward to the game. Anyone think this would have gotten a perfect score if say it was named something else?
Earthslide
eastx
Posted 10:28 PM 28/4/08
I can't follow your knicker scoring system, but it's nice to see a writeup on what everybody's saying about the game.
eastx
Sinharvest
Posted 10:27 PM 28/4/08
Too bad im not a GTA fan, not my "cup o tea". I just cant get into those games :/.
Sinharvest
ca$h
Posted 10:26 PM 28/4/08
Thanks for the early morning laughs!
ca$h
Tei
Posted 10:25 PM 28/4/08
"GTA IV isn't just a game. It's a testament to the immense talent and take-no-prisoners mentality that has made Rockstar the company that it is today."
Good to see there are still people out here that can create something fresh, and avoid the mob mentality :]
Tei
Antiterra
Posted 11:28 PM 28/4/08
@sh0tgunn0strils: Thanks for the info, I didn't know there was a demo! Going to DL right away.
@KindaGamey: I'll bet the critics' average will go down, too, once the "I'm an independent reviewer assessing my independent independency" backlash starts.
Antiterra
irkedpenguin
Posted 11:26 PM 28/4/08
Bah, it's no Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
irkedpenguin
TRT-X
Posted 11:26 PM 28/4/08
@vanderblade: Now that's a review!
TRT-X
SmilingPolitely
Posted 11:24 PM 28/4/08
"A perfect storm of hype, excitement and pants-wetting. Best review of the lot. No, best review ever."
Haha... Very nice. ^^
SmilingPolitely
TRT-X
Posted 11:22 PM 28/4/08
I completely agree about the IGN review. SEVEN PAGES is riddiculous for any game.
It's a review...not a novel. Yeah, they got to be first, congrats...but don't spend 7 pages kissing the game's butt.
Give it the 10, tell us why, and be on your way.
TRT-X
KindaGamey
Posted 11:20 PM 28/4/08
How is the metacritic average user vote only 8.1!? Is someone bitter or something?
KindaGamey
Mister Adequate
Posted 11:19 PM 28/4/08
Unless the hyperbole is correct which, for my money, it looks like it might be. I guess I'll know in 20 hours!
Mister Adequate
Caduceus
Posted 11:19 PM 28/4/08
>3.5/5. Misses out on a higher score because we don't do scores.
Ha!
Caduceus
Salen
Posted 11:15 PM 28/4/08
@sh0tgunn0strils: Wait... there's a Demo out of that out now?!? ACK! I gotta go download that!
Salen
sh0tgunn0strils
Posted 11:12 PM 28/4/08
has any one played the Operation Darkness DEMO on XBL?
sh0tgunn0strils
Garo
Posted 11:08 PM 28/4/08
@spaz33:
Oh yes. Can't wait for Yahtzee.
Garo
photoboy
Posted 11:08 PM 28/4/08
"Once you play it, you won't look at video games the same way again"
Good grief, I hate hyperbole like that, especially when you know they'll be saying the exact same thing about "the next big thing".
photoboy
vanderblade
Posted 11:07 PM 28/4/08
"GTAIV will redefine your relationships in real life. Your parents will be there for you, their sympathies never wavering, their check books always eager to help, your girlfriend (or boyfriend) will start doing things in bed she (he) previously said they would never try, your dog that ran away will come back home and your dead cat will be resurrected, because GTAIV is like Jesus - it can perform miracles. I don't throw the word Messiah around loosely, but this game just might be one."
11/10
sarcasticgamer.com
vanderblade
Antiterra
Posted 11:06 PM 28/4/08
Thanks for the roundup, Luke. And, in particular, thanks for the humour: I'm not sure I could have read those reviews in their entirety and seriousness without ending up hating the game before I'd even got my hands on it.
Why do I feel like those reviews are going to sound unbelievably ridiculous five years from now?
Oh, well, I'm sure the game will great anyway, since it doesn't sound as "adolescent" as San Andreas, which I enjoyed for about 3-4 hours until it dawned on me how profoundly dumb and occasionally tedious it was.
Apparently, that's not going to be a problem with GTAIV, which seems to be the first truly adult game in the series. Caring about characters in a GTA game? Who would've thunk it possible?
Antiterra
Sinharvest
Posted 11:06 PM 28/4/08
@Salen:
lol @ gametrader robina
Sinharvest
frostcircus
Posted 11:00 PM 28/4/08
I haven't played the game yet, but I'm curious whether any reviewer's going to have the balls to mention the elephant in the room and address Niko's rather awful fake accent.
Perhaps the short clips I've seen and heard give a false impression.
frostcircus
megaStryke
Posted 12:08 AM 29/4/08
Psssh! You call that hype? Look at MTV Multiplayer's impressions of the first few hours of the game:
[multiplayerblog.mtv.com]
Stephen hits on all the high points, but then he said he was taking a break from the game to play some Mario Galaxy and the comments reached a fever pitch. It's like GTA4 has become more perfect than God and you are totally not allowed to play anything else ever again, much less during the first few hours.
megaStryke
TheTimeRanger
Posted 12:07 AM 29/4/08
Im currently waiting for my special edition from Amazon UK. Just the last minute changed it to express... Here is hoping it dosnt go through customs... those bastards.
TheTimeRanger
El-Suave
Posted 12:06 AM 29/4/08
Excellent article Luke!
El-Suave
MasterSauce
Posted 12:06 AM 29/4/08
@Luke I love this post. Thanks. It makes me wonder, if this type of Rockstar butt kissing is happening from dedicated and respected sources...The fanboy drivel that will spew forth any minute now will be a thing to behold. I'm worried the Internet will melt under the strain.
MasterSauce
heretrix
Posted 12:05 AM 29/4/08
I am currently awaiting it's arrival via one of those "next day air" services that amazon uses. Should be here any minute now...Nice.
Great article btw. I think that this is one of those games that will match the hype. If you are into GTA that is. But this one looks good enough to convert some haters.
heretrix
TheTimeRanger
Posted 12:00 AM 29/4/08
@Salen: OMG Lol, i couldnt stop laughing of that in the episode... Nice ref though ;-)
TheTimeRanger
derFeef
Posted 11:55 PM 28/4/08
I think this game is a beast - I never enjoyed the GTA series (except the first one) but I will give this one a try.
IMHO the Reviews are overrated and too much hyped, it wouldnt score that good on PC tough. Why? I think the good points are overweighting the bad ones and that is what counts ... and because its "GTA" - dont you think? :)
derFeef
Jonn
Posted 11:53 PM 28/4/08
"pick holes in its evolution-not-revolution systems which don't exactly re-write the rules?"
What, exactly, is wrong with significantly improving on existing mechanics?
Jonn
Dakobah
Posted 11:50 PM 28/4/08
they should just use the Feedback system for games to stay true without any biase.
Great Game, Smooth gameplay, Excellent controls, would play again. A++
Dakobah
kitkatu
Posted 11:49 PM 28/4/08
@robinandtami: Playing every game before buying them would be great if i could afford to do so, but i can't so reviews are important to me. In that respect i was only saying that a score means next to nothing in comparison to the positive and negative aspects the reviewer gives.
kitkatu
TRT-X
Posted 11:44 PM 28/4/08
@karasu is my homeboy: "Names carry games. Mario Soccer, Tennis and Basketball would be nothing without him."
While it's true that the name on the box can pre-determine a review, it's not always for the best.
KOEI's Warriors series (a "yearly patchfest") as I've heard them called, routinely get docked major points for being the same game with only minor tweaks.
Yet you get games such as Madden, and those games are adorded for "sticking to the formula" that has worked for so long.
I think some of the Mario sports games get pigeon-holed into this type of situation as well.
That's why at the end of the day the content of the review is far more important, which is why massive novel-type reviews such as IGN's are less than helpful...and those such as GameSpot's that essentially gloss over any problems (or bury them on the 5th page, where most sane people have stopped reading by the 2nd) fail on every level.
TRT-X
EnigmaNemesis
Posted 11:43 PM 28/4/08
Looking and the words in the reviews and not the scores themselves????
That is blasphemy!!!
@Jabbertrack:
LOL so true ...
EnigmaNemesis
Calitri101
Posted 11:42 PM 28/4/08
Nice feature, thank you Kotaku!
Calitri101
Jabbertrack
Posted 11:41 PM 28/4/08
Kudos to all the hardworking people that made the game.
Just think... if there was a Nintendo character in there somewhere we would have seen our first 11/10 score.
Jabbertrack
that_happy_cat
Posted 11:39 PM 28/4/08
@Captain Impulse: dunno... is that bad? ;) No seriously, i don't know. What's Crisis Core?
that_happy_cat
TRT-X
Posted 11:38 PM 28/4/08
@Agies: The game's been leaked on Torrent's for at least a week now.
That was the big GTAIV story last week, up until the first reviews trickled in.
TRT-X
GusherKid
Posted 11:38 PM 28/4/08
Is anyone else really amazed at how great the reviews are for this game? This is the first game to ever get a perfect Metascore, right? That's so badass. Makes me want to go out and buy the 90 dollar version.
GusherKid
badasscat
Posted 11:35 PM 28/4/08
I think we need a review of this review of reviews. I give it a 4/5 panties in a bunch.
badasscat
rich8606
Posted 11:34 PM 28/4/08
@Sinharvest: same here... Playing as a russian gangster doing gangter deeds just ain't my game.
rich8606
flappy
Posted 11:30 PM 28/4/08
There are no bicycles??? Why? I can't believe what is Rockstar doing to us. I 'm going to start petition. One for bicycle and one for jet-pack.
flappy
ShaggE
Posted 11:30 PM 28/4/08
Haha, love it.
In related news, my copy is currently traveling through the postal service, according to what could possibly be the best e-mail ever. :D
ShaggE
Spoony Bard
Posted 12:41 AM 29/4/08
That's awesome. The irony is not lost...on most of us anyway.
What will we do today whilst we wait?
Spoony Bard
Onizuka-GTO
Posted 12:39 AM 29/4/08
anything 100% ain't worth buying.
perfection does not exist, hence this game is a lie.
Onizuka-GTO
Doomstalk
Posted 12:38 AM 29/4/08
IGN has a time-honored tradition of over-long reviews. I can read a thousand page novel, and can beat a 30 hour epic game, but I can never finish reading one of their reviews. They need to stop paying their writers by the word, and learn that brevity is a virtue.
Doomstalk
Eldragon
Posted 12:26 AM 29/4/08
@Earthslide:
Ha ha ha, no kidding. My guess it would have gotten 8/10 and people nit-picked on the game.
I played all of the previous GTA games to death, so I really have no interest in this one, despite the rave reviews. For similar reasons I refuse to pick up any WWII game these days.
Eldragon
megaStryke
Posted 12:22 AM 29/4/08
Wait... how can this game have a Metacritic score of 100 when there are already a few reviews that scored the game sub-100?
megaStryke
dionion
Posted 12:22 AM 29/4/08
[www.sonydefenseforce.com]
Best. Review. Ever.
dionion
NoBullet
Posted 12:20 AM 29/4/08
Crispin Boyer is a douchebag for spoiling end game stuff.
NoBullet
Sparth
Posted 12:19 AM 29/4/08
it seems like that last 24 hours are the most difficult to wait out.
Sparth
Heyyou27
Posted 12:19 AM 29/4/08
When I first saw metacritic last night with both the 360 and PS3 version of the game having 100s, I almost shit my pants.
Heyyou27
pot3ntial2suck
Posted 12:18 AM 29/4/08
Even the New York Times got a piece of the action in the technology section of their website today. This game is definitely the real deal, ass-kissing aside.
pot3ntial2suck
FhnuZoag
Posted 12:18 AM 29/4/08
GTA4 can't be *that* good, can it?
FhnuZoag
Destruction
Posted 12:18 AM 29/4/08
My copy arrived today so I'll write a negative review just to even the equilibrium out :)
Destruction
EnigmaNemesis
Posted 12:17 AM 29/4/08
@megaStryke:
Clearly the comment was to entice reaction. Since you know, he chose to use a game's name on a system that doesnt have GTA4.
EnigmaNemesis
M.A.S.
Posted 12:15 AM 29/4/08
Nice round up. It does show quite a bit of the butt kissing along with people trying to justify their scores despite acknowledged flaws in the game.
M.A.S.
daklog
Posted 1:19 AM 29/4/08
anyone know what site that is?? that shows the reviews other websites have given a game?
daklog
Golem29
Posted 1:15 AM 29/4/08
These are the same sites and so called critics who circle jerk off mediocrity-fests like Halo, so taking everything with a pinch of salt is advised. Although IV does at this stage look like it deserves atleast some of the hype.
Golem29
Kyuchen
Posted 1:07 AM 29/4/08
When the reviews of a game deserves a review.... there's either a truly orgasmic entertainment to be had, or the system is horribly wrong....
Kyuchen
dead_red_eyes
Posted 1:04 AM 29/4/08
Hahaha! Good stuff Luke!
dead_red_eyes
Eon.
Posted 1:02 AM 29/4/08
These scores worry me slightly. As people have mentioned before Shadowrun was a great example of a unique quality game but was ruined by the poor reviews which were all due to a lack of single player. Rainbow Six Vegas 2 received 9 out of 10 in general which is absolutely ridiculous considering the game is nothing compared to the original RB6V, I don't know anyone who thought or Vegas 2 as a success.
Rockstar have always provided us with great confidence in the GTA series and I am sure the game is good but seriously 10/10? I don't think people realise that full marks must mean it is the perfect game in every aspect. I wonder if a lot of the scores are widely based off hype.
Eon.
UnnDunn
Posted 1:01 AM 29/4/08
@dionion: Wow, that review is absolutely the one I'm relying on. :)
All other reviews are irrelevant. Those guys deserve a medal for telling us the definitive, unbiased truth.
UnnDunn
t0yrobo
Posted 1:00 AM 29/4/08
yeah, every GTA3 game got overwhelming positive reviews and I still can't stand any of them. It's not about the game it's just that they know it's going to sell gangbusters.
t0yrobo
The Black Pigeon
Posted 12:56 AM 29/4/08
If these reviews are to be believed, then it's safe to say that many life-threatening diseases that plague humanity will soon become a thing of the past. War shall come to an end. Food and water will be plentiful, and no one will go hungry. Love will find it's way into the hearts of every lonely soul.
God Bless GTA4, for you shall save us all.
The Black Pigeon
CheechWizz
Posted 12:53 AM 29/4/08
I just keep hearing that Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip song with altered lyrics: GTA IV just a game, Metal gear solid just a game, Halo just a game. The next big thing? just a game.
+ Watch video
CheechWizz
chacho
Posted 12:50 AM 29/4/08
Wow you gave Gameinformer the title.
chacho
Eldragon
Posted 12:47 AM 29/4/08
The Rule is: The popularity of the previous version is directly proportional to the hype of the latest version. This is cumulative for all previous releases.
Thus:
Halo 4 has already earned game of the year.
Final Fantasy XXVI has a metacritic score of 110.
Eldragon
okenny :)
Posted 12:45 AM 29/4/08
I cant wait to start seeing the parade of dicks who intentionally low-ball the game to distinguish themselves. Other then the IGN and EGM reviews, I plan to keep a close eye on the lower reviews to see what justification they have. It's not that I think the game is perfect (as I haven't played it yet) but I want to see if people being critical of it have found something that others seem to be overlooking or if I should cross them off of my list of reputable review houses on shear fanboyashenaniganry (yes it's a word because I typed it :P ).
okenny :)
Tepoz
Posted 12:42 AM 29/4/08
Okay, okay, someone update me on the rules again. If a game is getting extremely high scores everywhere, does that mean the game is all hype and there are other games that are better that noone is noticing?? Is the rule seasonal or only tied to particular franchises?
Tepoz
Badben
Posted 1:52 AM 29/4/08
The question is, what will the EDGE megabrain say? Until they have reviewed a game I simply don't know what to think... the megabrain must SPEAK FOR ME...
What happened to the concept of a medium game getting 50%, anyway? When any old crap gets 65 - 75% then all scale and proportion is lost :-(
Badben
Lyner
Posted 1:45 AM 29/4/08
@Eon.: But in some ways, one also has to understand that their TARGET audience thinks it's a 10. As long as this is the case, they have to give a review that at least matches their expectations, since their profits come from their readers (those that say advertising is the reason is on the ball :D). At least for a AAA title anyways.
Awesome work for hilariousness, Luke! :D
Lyner
Golem29
Posted 1:45 AM 29/4/08
@daklog: I believe you are talking about Metacritic
Golem29
Luke Plunkett
Posted 1:35 AM 29/4/08
@latinogamer: 8.8 you mean :)
Luke Plunkett
latinogamer
Posted 1:32 AM 29/4/08
Whats up with gamestop? Maybe an 8 or something even less?
latinogamer
Mezodon
Posted 1:27 AM 29/4/08
I prefer the Kotaku reviewing method... just tell me what was good and what was bad. The scores are just a joke now. They've contributed to me being sick of GTA IV already. Not that it matters unless they release a PC version.
Mezodon
Wolfers
Posted 1:24 AM 29/4/08
IGN's review reads like someone had a shock collar on the poor reviewer.
Wolfers
Mr.SithNinja
Posted 2:33 AM 29/4/08
Anyone who gave the game a 100 or perfect score or what ever has no credibilty with me what-so-ever. I have not played it yet but if there is "pop in" it is not perfect. Pop in is forgivable to an extent ( I loved Mass Effect but the pop in was kinda annoying at times ) but should DEFINATLEY subtract form any kind of scoring system IMHO.
Mr.SithNinja
Pombar
Posted 2:17 AM 29/4/08
IGN UK's review is pretty gushing, too. Also their first ever 10/10 for any game ever in the history of ever ever.
Pombar
Trystero
Posted 2:10 AM 29/4/08
@that_happy_cat:
The real review of the major outlets.
I think "Kotaku" has the best review. It's short, color coded, and isn't beholden to a number system.
Nothing like making an awkward statement and responding to questions 3 hours later...
Trystero
Spaz569
Posted 1:55 AM 29/4/08
@robinandtami: Poor Shadowrun. I wish it wasn't called shadowrun. It probably would have sold a ton under a new name and a different price point.
Should have named it Shadowstrike. (like counterstrike meets shadowrun) and the price should have been 40 dollars. Team fortress 2, alone, wouldn't sell on 360 for 60 bucks, why would shadowrun?
Boo microsoft, boo.
Spaz569
Malevolentburrito
Posted 3:17 AM 29/4/08
Lets start taking bets on how gears of war 2 and Metal Gear solid 4 will get the same amount of asskissingly perfect scores as GTA IV. The game is undoubtedly good, but to praise it as if it were the second coming of christ is just selling out to the hype at its best. Halo 3 got about the same treatment. It's like reviewers nowadays review games not for the good of the consumers, but to be on the good side of the companies that make these games. We need more unapologetic reviewers how have the balls to review games based on the merits of the game itself and not on the amount of hype the game has.
Malevolentburrito
TearsandScreams
Posted 3:14 AM 29/4/08
Aside from Kotaku, I only really read Edge, and completely ignore numeric score at the end, but I have no doubt it will be a 10, which will make this a quite frankly insane few months for them, having perfect scored no less than 3 games recently (Super Mario Galaxy, The Orange Box and Halo 3). What does 10 mean anyway? It's not 100%, it just means excellent as far as I'm concerned.
TearsandScreams
Puzzle
Posted 3:04 AM 29/4/08
Shid.
Puzzle
jsf49
Posted 2:46 AM 29/4/08
GamePro has a weird scoring system. They score by graphics, sound, control and fun factor, emphasizing the fun factor score. For GTA4, they gave it a 4.75, 4.75, 4.75, 5.0, respectively. I don't think the fun factor is supposed to be taken as an aggregate score, so GamePro really gave it more of a 4.8 overall than a 5.0. Just saying...
jsf49
VixDiesel
Posted 2:44 AM 29/4/08
gamespot will probably score it lower than normal. they always do.
VixDiesel
jsf49
Posted 2:41 AM 29/4/08
Wait, MARK WILSON is the guy in charge of the Frankenreviews??? MARK WILSON is the very same as the "I admittedly only own a 360" Mark Wilson? That kind of explains why two random sites nobody's ever heard of were used in the Gran Turismo Prologue Frankenreview.
jsf49
M
Posted 4:10 AM 29/4/08
For some reason, all these perfect scores are making me less hyped for the game.
M
Kenny
Posted 4:06 AM 29/4/08
Don't forget Game Almighty, they gave it a super-low 9.7
Kenny
Roflcopter_Down: Wants you to follow HIM!
Posted 3:56 AM 29/4/08
I guess I'll pick it up, maybe
Roflcopter_Down: Wants you to follow HIM!
William "Killer" Shatner
Posted 3:55 AM 29/4/08
I like how the review of the review of the review even got a couple knickers for itself at the end there.
William "Killer" Shatner
googleguru
Posted 3:47 AM 29/4/08
So. hyped. for. gta. iv.
googleguru
Illyr
Posted 4:53 AM 29/4/08
I want James Lipton to review this game.
Illyr
DreamcastRIP
Posted 4:44 AM 29/4/08
IGN: "A "10" is not a score we give out very often. In fact, the last time we gave a 10 to a console game was Soul Calibur in 1999."
Dreamcast rules!
DreamcastRIP
kagai
Posted 4:32 AM 29/4/08
My favorite part of the IGN review is where he stated that he would have paid $300 for GTA IV. Now, I love videogames but $300 for a game???...Now THAT is hyperbole!
kagai
Kenofthedead
Posted 4:26 AM 29/4/08
I wonder what this game would have got if it was a brand new series or had a title such as Saints Row 4 or Madeleine: Lost In New York?
Kenofthedead
Crawl to China
Posted 5:22 AM 29/4/08
Gamespot's waiting on Rockstar's ad money to come in before they post their review of the game. Or adjust it according to the investment.
I'm just kidding, but you never know.
Crawl to China
spare-jello
Posted 6:29 AM 29/4/08
You know, there are very few things that annoy me. The review system for video games is, sadly, one of them.
First things first- games are not linear. They are made not only in different ways, but for different people. You can't tell me that a game about an illegal immigrant in a city could be COMPARED to a plumber in outer space. Literally. I'm not saying that I don't like games like GTA, but they don't deserve to be considered better than games of other genres.
Honestly, games should be put into categories, then rated from there. GTAIV could be the best of the "Sandbox" genre while something like Galaxy could be the top of the platformers.
Now, I could be biased. Maybe I'm even a bit sad that Smash has a competitor for GOTY. But in all seriousness, a game with flaws is not "perfect", which is what most people consider a 10/10, an A+, or a 100/100 to be.
Is it advertising money? Maybe. If an outgoing game site such as Kotaku gives it a 3.5/5, then it probably is. I'm not saying that this is going to be a "Kane and Lynch" type of thing, but that doesn't mean that a game couldn't go up by point.
What is a game like this going to say about us as gamers? We know that, living in todays world, people are going to be all over GTA for it's views on life, the killing... all the things you see under the "M" in the ESRB logo. So, I'm asking you, will this be the game that defines our generation? If it is, will it be because of some kind of corruption, or because it was an actually good game?
spare-jello
MacTenchi
Posted 6:28 AM 29/4/08
I'd love to see future Frankenreviews take this format. Reviewing the reviews is a great way to keep hype in check and hopefully improve the quality of reviews out there.
MacTenchi
Grimmjow Jeagerjaques
Posted 6:27 AM 29/4/08
Rockstars are not gods, they're ROCKSTARS. Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll
Grimmjow Jeagerjaques
Zeliard
Posted 6:06 AM 29/4/08
"a costly cop-out at the end, with ass-covering justifications for their scoring system, cost them a knicker."
Why and how was it a costly ass-covering on IGN's part? They needed to explain to the countless idiots who still don't understand that 10 doesn't mean perfect, that 10 doesn't, in fact, mean perfect.
Of course, that didn't stop those same idiots from whining about how no games can be perfect, and such, so maybe Hilary's only mistake was not sticking that paragraph at the beginning of the review in big fucking 20-sized bold font, instead of the end.
It's amazing how anybody can lambast that "justification" (which wasn't, it was simply an explanation) even though it was perfectly logical and reasonable and directly refuted things that they knew people would start whining about.
And people complain about both scores AND the written review length. It's quite amazing, really. You have people crying that Hilary Goldstein gave the game a 10, crying that he wrote a detailed *7-page* review which did nothing if not explain precisely where he was coming from, crying that he wraps the review up with a paragraph directed at the "b-but no game can be perfect!" morons. And if he had given the game a 9.9, everyone would be shutting the fuck up.
Sigh. The Internet, I guess.
Zeliard
Grahamunculus
Posted 7:10 AM 29/4/08
Despite it's claims of awesomeness and a great deal here at Nebraska Furniture Mart ($50 for the game and a $10 gift card) I can't get excited for this game...
Grahamunculus
interficium
Posted 9:12 AM 29/4/08
The next time some righteous video game writer deems it necessary to do up another one of those lengthy discourses on "the state of games journalism" "why game journalism isn't respected" or "when will games journalism grow up?" he or she should just post a bunch of links to these reviews.
interficium
Petezah
Posted 8:57 AM 29/4/08
@photoboy: Sort of like TV commercials for movies, which always say "best movie of the Summer", etc, for every single release.
Petezah
quen
Posted 8:50 AM 29/4/08
@spare-jello: Sorry, but in my opinion you're completely wrong in every aspect.
First, a 10/10 or even 100/100 does not mean perfect: review scores are vague comparisons to what is possible or previously experienced at the time. I'm sure Space Invaders would have got a 10 if game reviews existed back then, but if it came out now it'd be lucky to scrape a 1.
Second, the fact that games about cartoon plumbers and criminal gangs are rated using the same scale is irrelevant, nor does it mean they are directly comparable as you suggest. All a 10 means is that the game is fucking awesome. It's entirely possible for a game about a plumber to be fucking awesome, and a game about a criminal gang to be fucking awesome, without saying that they are directly comparable experiences. If you look at film, there are romcoms that get 5 stars and violent action movies that get 5 stars, and nobody complains. The fact that they are different genres has nothing to do with the rating system because people are smart enough to understand that things have different genres. If you hate violent action movies, you shouldn't go see that one even though it got five stars. People can figure this out for themselves.
Finally, Kotaku didn't give the game 3.5/5 (you appear to have missed the point of this post, which incidentally was pretty funny). The Kotaku review said, broadly, that it was fucking awesome.
quen
kingofallcosmos
Posted 8:44 AM 29/4/08
@Earthslide:
Were the game not stuck with the GTA name, CVG would have had no reason not to give it a 10/10.
kingofallcosmos
Glitteracticacookie-3
Posted 8:40 AM 29/4/08
@dionion: That made me laugh my ass off. Specifically it was the animated GIF of the tree suddenly appearing in front of the car on the 360 version.
Glitteracticacookie-3
dnzperson
Posted 8:38 AM 29/4/08
Haha, thanks Luke.
A perfect storm of hype, excitement and pants-wetting. Best review of the lot. No, best review ever.
Lmao!
dnzperson
Gustavo
Posted 9:32 AM 29/4/08
I didn't bother to read this article; could someone summarize it for me in 50 words and an out-of-ten score?
Gustavo
Slatz_Grobnik
Posted 9:28 AM 29/4/08
Can I add that Frankenreviewreview deserves to be used more often? Admittedly, you might need to change the name to something more panty-twisting oriented, but damn, it's both hilarious and insightful to judge the general wave of hype.
Slatz_Grobnik
Captain Impulse
Posted 9:16 AM 29/4/08
@that_happy_cat: A terrible game, unless you like Final Fantasy VII.
Captain Impulse
joelface
Posted 10:53 AM 29/4/08
@Gustavo:
rofl, that would be a review of a review of the reviews of gta.
i give you're joke a 9.76 out of 10.
joelface
joelface
Posted 10:52 AM 29/4/08
"GTA4 is a monument in human history on par with landing on the moon."
joelface
Crawl to China
Posted 5:13 PM 29/4/08
@Zeliard: the point of this post was to rate how well the review overhyped the game. pointing out flaws reduces the hype, thus loss of a knicker. he gave 1UP's review 2knickers/5 because it was "tragically... fair and objective."
In other news, Gamespot's review is up. 10/10. Standard 2 pages. I'd say 3 knickers out of 5.
Crawl to China
pyropetey
Posted 6:49 PM 29/4/08
I love the discrepancy between the users and the critics ^^ (in the screenshot :P)
reviewers:
100/100!!
users;
8.1!!
pyropetey
kevin_o
Posted 4:51 AM 29/4/08
This doesn't even make any sense - is more panties in a bunch worse or better?
kevin_o
JohnHype
Posted 11:48 PM 28/4/08
@Johnny_Under: They actually gave the horse riding sim, Assassin's Creed, a 5/5. Unless they give GTA IV around a 8 or 9 out of 5, they're basically admitting their reviews are worthless.
JohnHype
Protector one
Posted 10:47 PM 29/4/08
It's. So. Hard! ...Reading between the lines to taste your bitter sarcasm. Can't quite grasp it... Ambiguity all over the place...
Protector one
Kristopher.W
Posted 11:19 PM 28/4/08
thinking this game will be completely gratuitous,senseless and immoral is a no brainer. it's what has always made the entire series so sucessful and fun to play.
GTAIV promises to be nothing short of being completely amazing. I'm looking forward to the first couple of hours i'll spend just jacking cars and sight seeing all that the revamped LC has to offer. cannot wait.
Kristopher.W