real world
Uwe Boll Responds To Million Man Petition: "Look I'm Not A Fucking Retard"
Posted by Michael McWhertor at 12:32 PM on April 9, 2008
Yes, we've definitely heard all about Uwe Boll's claim that if a million concerned gamers were to band together, say via internet petition, he'd stop making movies. You can throttle back on the tips, Turbo. While no one at the Kotaku Towers complex believes that Uwe will give up the movie biz for a second, it doesn't seem to have curbed enthusiasm for an internet rallying cry. How does Mr. Boll respond?
In shattered English, Boll says he hopes that someone, somewhere will start a pro-Uwe petition. Why? Here's why.
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again," says Boll. "If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius you know, and if you go on May 23 on Postal you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years, what is way better as all that social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend."
Pretty infallible, but if it's not clear yet, Boll clearly illustrates that you're at fault, not him. "You have to really wake up and you have to see me what I am," he says. "I am the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye."
Genius? And how! He's got a legion of anti-fans paying him more attention than ever as Postal approaches. I'm off to generate that pro-Boll petition, 'cause if Boll stops making movies, we're out a half-dozen posts a month. Oh, and sprinkle some [sic] around this post. It's all verbatim.
Postal [MovieSet]

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
DONAR
Posted April 9, 2008 5:09 PM
I want him and Jack Thompson in a cage match, pronto. They can fight over who does a greater disservice to gamers and the English language.
Grammaton Cleric
Posted April 10, 2008 8:06 AM
Please sign the pro Boll petition:
http://www.petitiononline.com/ub221965/petition.html
mikezombie777
Posted April 10, 2008 10:13 AM
"making the same shitty movies over and over again"
Ohhh my! Hahahaha that had me rolling on the floor.....ALL he does is make the same piss poor movies over and over again. He takes games and turns them into pieces of shit OVER AND OVER again. When is this retard going to stop living in a dreamworld and realize he's a talentless crackpot?
He's a bit like the Jack Thompson of the film industry. i.e a delusional jackass who thinks he can conquerer the world by spurting out childish insults and laughable half-truths. He's horrible at both being a director AND a human being.
Uwe, do you really think throwing childish insults at would-be movie goers and other directors is going to get people on your side? Get a clue you idiot.
beem
Posted 3:18 PM 9/4/08
@2NinjasTapedTogether:
Amen. And to Kotaku, stop feeding this asshat's ego by constantly posting any bit of news that comes along involving his name. You're only encouraging him.
beem
Big World
Posted 3:18 PM 9/4/08
"I'm not a fucking retard like... Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again."
No, you make different shitty movies over and over again. There's a difference!
Big World
ilmmad
Posted 3:14 PM 9/4/08
Just thought I would share this, from the anti-Boll petition:
"Beautiful Katamari, starring Jason Statham, with Vin Diesel as the debris. Only this can redeem you."
ilmmad
Jypsy
Posted 3:13 PM 9/4/08
[www.petitiononline.com]
There we go folks, since pointless petitions seem to be what people feel can be used to garner support, then count me in.
Protect Uwe Boll's right to film!!
Sign here if you believe he has the right as any other human being to express himself creatively!
Jypsy
psychobadger
Posted 3:12 PM 9/4/08
MMmm...he has a point.
Eli Roth is a really shitty filmmaker.
Oh god! Hostel has got to be the worst movie I have ever seen!
psychobadger
Polywhirl
Posted 3:11 PM 9/4/08
@Polywhirl: By the way, that's my Pro-Boll Petition.
Polywhirl
DannoHung
Posted 3:09 PM 9/4/08
Here's the anti-Boll petition: [www.petitiononline.com]
DannoHung
Ycare
Posted 3:08 PM 9/4/08
Haha, Uwe Boll is doing standup comedy now ! What a great change of business !
Ycare
2NinjasTapedTogether
Posted 3:06 PM 9/4/08
@Wyld: The problem is that he's saying that people only complain about his movies because they're different. People complain about his movies because they're ridiculously awful films with less redeeming quality than those of even a Michael Bay or similar director.
And the problem typically comes from choices made as a DIRECTOR. The producers of House of the Dead rip into HIM for making the movie bad. Was it bad to begin with? Probably. Hell, likely! But much of his directorial choices made it even worse.
Example: The line "Guys, check out this book. Looks pretty old, maybe it'll help us!" Awful line. One of the worst combination of words in the entirety of the English language. Even Nora Roberts and James Patterson. But HE went with a terribly awful take. Not to mention using shots with mics showing, stunt machinery showing, and the awful "bullet time" shotgun spray.
People do fear the different and the new, but Boll is an asinine person, an awful director, and is trying to mask inability by attacking anyone and everyone he can.
In other words, he's an asshole.
2NinjasTapedTogether
Polywhirl
Posted 3:03 PM 9/4/08
Talk, talk, talk. Talk is cheap!
I'm doing something:
TALKING!
[www.petitiononline.com]
@Cattleprod: Yeah, but Bay's movies cost a couple hundred million.
Boll's are ultra-budget. Boll has the higher profit margin.
Polywhirl
Trowble (XBL/PSN)
Posted 3:02 PM 9/4/08
and if you go on May 23 on Postal
If you look real close you can see an act of desperation and a non-sequitur plug.
Trowble (XBL/PSN)
Neer'mo
Posted 3:01 PM 9/4/08
Man, the guy comes under pressure and pure HATRED erupts from his pores. He spewed hate so far in every direction that he attacked 4 people directly ('you' included) and the 'whole fucking business' indirectly.
Neer'mo
Amazon_Chris
Posted 3:01 PM 9/4/08
"I'm not a ****ing retard like Michael Bay"
He's right...He's a ****ing retard like the dudes who did the eragon movie.
Amazon_Chris
Bokusatsu_Tenshi
Posted 3:01 PM 9/4/08
ROFL. Shure... and maybe someday I'll get a lobotomy too. That or a cocaine overdose.
Nah, not even then I'll "wake up and see that he's the only genius in the whole fucking business".
Maybe if Mr. Boll skips a movie and give me the cash he was gonna spend in it, maybe I'd wake up and see that. I would of course be lying, but you know...
Bokusatsu_Tenshi
jinpei05
Posted 3:00 PM 9/4/08
HA HA HA HA!!! OMG!!! THIS GUY IS SO FUCKING INSANE, IT'S AWESOME!!!
I seriously hope someone DOES start a pro-Uwe petition, for the simple fact that we need fucking ludicrous statements like this. His movies? Not so much.
jinpei05
HALO-32
Posted 3:00 PM 9/4/08
I would rather watch Starship Troopers 2 over his movies!
HALO-32
AqueousBeef
Posted 2:59 PM 9/4/08
I love this guy, he's so eccentric! I wonder if it's all an act just to gain publicity
AqueousBeef
Quilt
Posted 2:58 PM 9/4/08
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay"
Man, I love Uwe Boll. Sure, the movies are terrible, but he's a hell of a character. Michael Bay makes terrible movies, AND he's a douche-bag.
Quilt
t0yrobo
Posted 2:57 PM 9/4/08
I think he just gets a kick out of riling up all the outspoken gamertypes on the internet. Which is hilarious. No one actually expected any of his movies to be good based off their ip did they.
t0yrobo
BOMxAgonyxScenex
Posted 2:57 PM 9/4/08
p.s anyone who says transformers is crap is a liar...you loved it! just like EVERYONE else! vocal minority..silly internet trolls.
BOMxAgonyxScenex
KirbySS
Posted 2:56 PM 9/4/08
@TheHeartless: Leave him alone? This is the internet! What the hell are you thinking?
KirbySS
BOMxAgonyxScenex
Posted 2:56 PM 9/4/08
so not only does he think he's a genius, but he thinks he's better then Michael Bay....Uwe makes me laugh!!
BOMxAgonyxScenex
D Mitsuki
Posted 2:55 PM 9/4/08
ok so time to educate the high school kid, who is this guy?
D Mitsuki
N3v3r.kNows.b3st.
Posted 2:55 PM 9/4/08
I dont want to see another movie by Uwe Boll EVAR!!!!!
N3v3r.kNows.b3st.
TheHeartless
Posted 2:54 PM 9/4/08
I have to say that I am no huge fan of Boll but I think I respect him a little bit. The man is out there doing what he loves, and being proud of the results. He's an amateur and probably always will be no matter how seasoned he gets, but people keep licensing their titles to him and he will keep enjoying his work to bring them to life on the screen. If you don't like it, you can just go to the next screen down and watch something more sophisticated. He didn't ruin the Bloodrayne or Alone in the Dark (etc.) franchises by making the movies, the companies who own the licenses did by knowingly selling him the ability to make those properties into movies.
As for Postal, I for one (literally) am excited to see it because 1) Postal is stupid, brash, insensitive, tasteless humor on its own and can't really be taken down a notch, and 2) I watched the opening scene and thought it was actually pretty funny. That doesn't mean I'm putting a copy of In the Name of the King next to my Blu-Rays of Pan's Labyrinth or No Country for Old Men, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that if the man wants to keep being a smartass and swearing up and down that he's great...well aren't you all just sort of prompting him to do it? If you just leave him alone and let the ticket sales speak for themselves, that would be far likelier to get him away from movies than making a petition that will only make him want to get you all back.
TheHeartless
NeVeRMoRe666
Posted 2:54 PM 9/4/08
@vega480:
Time to update your movie collection...
NeVeRMoRe666
runandgun
Posted 2:53 PM 9/4/08
Maybe people will appreciatte his work after he's dead? Someone please kill him so we can find out.
Just kidding. I love Uwe Boll hearing about him is more entertaining than his films. (I've only saw In The Name Of The King)
runandgun
ArmyofJuan
Posted 2:52 PM 9/4/08
Im only mad because he said Eli Roths movies are shit. Hostel 2 wasnt as good as it could have been, but still, he gave us "Party Man".
ArmyofJuan
Cathaoir
Posted 2:51 PM 9/4/08
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay..."
Alright, I'll give Boll that. The directing in Transformers was garbage. Why so many close-ups of big fuck-off robots? When something's that big, pan out so the audience can see the damn thing. I don't want to stare at Optimus Prime's foot when I know he's doing something awesome with the rest of his body off-screen. Damn you, Michael Bay, and your disappointing adaptation of my favorite childhood television show!
Cathaoir
kurokotetsu
Posted 2:51 PM 9/4/08
It is always nice to see people that may leave in his own happy world. Hurray Uwe! Your paranoia amuses me.
kurokotetsu
zanzibarlegend
Posted 2:51 PM 9/4/08
Bay may not do deep movies. but he makes fun movies. Uwe Boll can do neither. you know after he said this, he went into his trailer and dragon uppercutted himself, right?
zanzibarlegend
ilmmad
Posted 2:51 PM 9/4/08
@VeeKaChu:
He's not against Clooney, per say, but rather the type of movies he stars in that are, over and over again, nothing more than the same social commentary on a different subject.
I still like them though.
ilmmad
RPGCrazied
Posted 2:51 PM 9/4/08
ill never watch one of his movies, even if im tied up in a chair.. with my eyelids penned up with rusty nails.
RPGCrazied
Grey_Fox
Posted 2:50 PM 9/4/08
Meh he's a douche bag but if Postal is as funny as that 5 minute clip he released I'll pay to go see that.
And I also think Michael Bay is a competent director...but still a douche.
Grey_Fox
ryivanV2
Posted 2:50 PM 9/4/08
Wait, there is another transformers? I didn't know about this! oh... wait... Fuck you boll, fuck you.
ryivanV2
dhunter
Posted 2:49 PM 9/4/08
I should start a pro-Boll petition. After all, the world NEEDS an Uwe Boll. Without him, how is anyone going to know what crap really is? He sets the bar for everyone.
dhunter
NPlace
Posted 2:49 PM 9/4/08
Say what you will, but you have to respect the cojones on a man who says he's the only genius in his field.
NPlace
XWonka
Posted 2:49 PM 9/4/08
Hmm... using such foul language makes him look real professional.
What a goober.
XWonka
GwennBlackfeather
Posted 2:48 PM 9/4/08
We love him because we hate him. Seriously, why make him leave? He makes us laugh.
GwennBlackfeather
Cattleprod
Posted 2:46 PM 9/4/08
I'd say odds are pretty good Bay's lowest grossing movie still did way better than Boll's highest grossing. I'm not a Bay fan, but jeez, the guy at least has a basic level of competence when it comes to film making.
Cattleprod
dowingba
Posted 2:45 PM 9/4/08
@Captain Impulse: That was the best commercial ever made. Period.
dowingba
Bobby McPresscott
Posted 2:44 PM 9/4/08
Hmm, this is the Boll I know. I don't know where people get their perceptions of Boll from these days, but back after he'd only made House of the Dead and his next movie was coming, I read a long document by someone who worked with him on creating House of the Dead, and it really went into detail about everything. While I can't remember if the ego was then or came later, I will always remember that Uwe Boll's solution to every problem in that movie was adding more explosions. Why he would pick a fight with Michael Bay after that fact... Well, that's that.
Bobby McPresscott
KirbySS
Posted 2:44 PM 9/4/08
Michael Bay made a film adaption (or sequel, whatever) that was well-received and enjoyable.
Uwe Boll made BloodRayne.
Yeeeaaaaah.
KirbySS
dowingba
Posted 2:43 PM 9/4/08
I can't wait until there really is a petition 1 million strong just to see what Uwe says about it.
dowingba
DigiMish
Posted 2:43 PM 9/4/08
what an awesome douchebag, is all I have to say.
DigiMish
Polywhirl
Posted 2:41 PM 9/4/08
@Kickinstuff13: Except Cook is more of a pathetic blight than Uwe is. At least Uwe is funny.
Polywhirl
Snake726
Posted 2:41 PM 9/4/08
"Look I'm Not A Fucking Retard"
I beg to differ, Mr. Boll.
Snake726
Y2Jason
Posted 2:40 PM 9/4/08
Personally, I like him better this way. He's entertaining now! Kind of reminds me like a pro-wrestler, he has this bastard character everyone hates and boos and he comes out and insults people. It's great! Of course, nobody takes him seriously, it's just fun to sit back and watch :)
Fingers crossed for a DLC cameo in Smackdown vs Raw 2009!
Y2Jason
mackincheese
Posted 2:36 PM 9/4/08
I seriously can't stop...laughing...it's starting to hurt my side....seriously thank you, Kotaku, for bringing this to my attention. Uwe Boll = Genius? I think I'll go throw up from laughing so hard, which is convenient, since I want to throw up anyway.
mackincheese
Captain Impulse
Posted 2:36 PM 9/4/08
@Roflcopter_Down: Wants you to follow HIM!: Michael Bay is not a fucking retard. Michael Bay demands things to be AWESOME!
+ Watch video
Ok, I still think he's a douche, but this commercial is amusing.
Captain Impulse
Bowser-Gaiden
Posted 2:35 PM 9/4/08
Ah, Uwe Boll. His broken English rants are always the highlight of my day. What I've yet to understand tho is what the hell does he have against video games? What did they do that affected him so much that he grew up knowing that he'd one day ruin them with his craptastic movies? Did they touch you, Uwe? Did they?! Use the Companion Cube to show us where you were VIOLATED!
Bowser-Gaiden
VeeKaChu
Posted 2:34 PM 9/4/08
Bay and Roth are pretty easy targets, but Clooney? Shtick went totally off-point there, kowboy. Put put me in mind of the cockroach analogy from The Mothman Chronicles.
VeeKaChu
Kickinstuff13
Posted 2:34 PM 9/4/08
He needs to listen to that Dane Cook joke, where Dane explains how to give the middle finger like a man. None of that weak limp wrist shit...
Kickinstuff13
108
Posted 2:33 PM 9/4/08
Anyone who uses "what" in place of "which" or "that" is an A+++ individual, in my book.
Huckleberry Finn, for example!
108
sephycloneno15
Posted 2:32 PM 9/4/08
@frostcircus: Really? I dunno. I think JT's pretty close competition. Maybe not quite as much now that he needs a real lawyer to hold his hand through any trials he wants, but I really think JT's more entertaining. Maybe that's just because I haven't paid enough attention to Uwe...
sephycloneno15
Teh Emo Penguin
Posted 2:32 PM 9/4/08
124900 so far...
Getting closer...
Teh Emo Penguin
jp182
Posted 2:32 PM 9/4/08
i think he's either:
1. just likes to spurn hate to create more publicity
or
2. he thinks he's like Roger Corman. thing is Corman doesn't take subject matter that people take VERY seriously
jp182
[KU]Shindokie: Wishes for a Star
Posted 2:32 PM 9/4/08
If he ever made a movie on the same level of Pan's Labyrinth i might respect him, but calling other people stupid and their shit bull shit is pretty low. Even at their lowest Michael Bay and George Clooney will always end up making more money then this fucktard.
[KU]Shindokie: Wishes for a Star
Wyld
Posted 2:32 PM 9/4/08
@Seihyouken:
Agred. but then again different is batter than the same.
Wyld
Part-Time-Viking
Posted 2:32 PM 9/4/08
@Polywhirl: Lets start one! I'll sign.
Part-Time-Viking
blueshoals
Posted 2:30 PM 9/4/08
One thing I have to admit...
When you create something, sometimes it's better to create it for yourself, and not make it for others.
Being selfish like that is the best way to go.
blueshoals
Erwin
Posted 2:30 PM 9/4/08
I'm starting a petition to have McWhertor actually start a Pro-Boll petition. Anyone want to sign?
x_______________________
No? Okay.
Erwin
Wyld
Posted 2:30 PM 9/4/08
One thing I agree with him at, despite the self claims:
People are idiots, and they complain about anything that´s different that what they were used to. that´s why people made rebellions against the first vaccine campains and thought that thw world was flat.
Wyld
ffmusicdj
Posted 2:30 PM 9/4/08
HAhahaha, Ooh Uwe, GTFO!
ffmusicdj
Roflcopter_Down: Wants you to follow HIM!
Posted 2:29 PM 9/4/08
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay"
Mr. Boll wins
Roflcopter_Down: Wants you to follow HIM!
not_tom_brokaw
Posted 2:29 PM 9/4/08
I agree that Roth's terrible; he's just got a gore fetish and is sharing it with the rest of us.
on the other hand, lay off of Michael Bay. At least he knows he's mainly a summer-movie guy.
not_tom_brokaw
GREY GECKO
Posted 2:29 PM 9/4/08
"If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius you know, and if you go on May 23 on Postal you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years" "I am the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye."
genius...right
GREY GECKO
Naelok
Posted 2:28 PM 9/4/08
This guy is jokes.
Naelok
PGHdave
Posted 2:28 PM 9/4/08
i like uwe boll. i like the movies knowing that this man created them, and he is a funny man.
PGHdave
MonkeyBiz
Posted 2:28 PM 9/4/08
I am pretty sure we could come up with 1 million crazy internet folk to sign the anti-Boll petition. Then another 1 million sane ones.
Although I am interested to see how Postal turns out. It's got an air of a direct to DVD American Pie Comedy.
MonkeyBiz
Seihyouken
Posted 2:28 PM 9/4/08
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again"
No Mr. Boll, you make different shitty movies over and over again.
Seihyouken
MonsterKingRen
Posted 2:27 PM 9/4/08
Hahaha. Postal. Movie.
MonsterKingRen
2NinjasTapedTogether
Posted 2:27 PM 9/4/08
Uhhhh... What? He's joking, right? This is him just trying to drum up attendance for his shitty movie, right? I've seen him in interviews and... this seems like the kind of thing he'd said in all seriousness... I really want to meet this guy so I can hit him with something blunt.
2NinjasTapedTogether
Captain Impulse
Posted 2:26 PM 9/4/08
Well, he's partially right in that Hollywood is churning out bucket-loads of the same old shit, but that doesn't make Uwe Boll's shit smell any better, either.
Captain Impulse
Polywhirl
Posted 2:26 PM 9/4/08
Are you really going to go start a pro-Boll petition? Because if you're joking, I'll really start one.
I love the guy.
Polywhirl
BlackIceJoe
Posted 2:26 PM 9/4/08
I may not be that great of a Michael Bay fan but I would prefer to watch his movies over Boll's. I will take Transformers any day over in the name of the king.
BlackIceJoe
tsathoggua
Posted 2:26 PM 9/4/08
Mr. Boll, I must disagree with your assertion. You are, in fact, a fucking retard.
tsathoggua
vega480
Posted 2:25 PM 9/4/08
I must be the only one who likes his movies, I don't love them and think they are the greatest, but I have a shelf of movies that are worse than his.
vega480
frostcircus
Posted 2:25 PM 9/4/08
See? Now what kind of MONSTER would want to put an end to this?
Once again: he is the most consistently entertaining man in the gaming world. We need him alive.
frostcircus
dowingba
Posted 2:24 PM 9/4/08
Remember that post a while back where someone said he was humble and stuff? Hmm.
dowingba
Jypsy
Posted 3:31 PM 9/4/08
Really? Here I thought I started the first petition to fight against the anti-boll petition..
[www.petitiononline.com]
Jypsy
kosikutioner
Posted 3:30 PM 9/4/08
There is a pro-Boll petition. It has 692 signatures. HA!
kosikutioner
Cathaoir
Posted 3:24 PM 9/4/08
@BOMxAgonyxScenex: No, I am not trolling. I, in fact, did not like Michael Bay's "Transformers." And it's not for lack of wanting to like it either: I've got a damn Transformers poster on the wall in my dorm room.
Cathaoir
TheApprentice
Posted 3:24 PM 9/4/08
I really want to see that petition hit a million sigs...
TheApprentice
JokesJokes
Posted 3:22 PM 9/4/08
Oh, I get it! This whle time I've been thinking Boll's movies sucked but really their ironically self-conscious. It's Avant Garde!! That's real genious for you! I mean Bay's explosion filled action movies are fun to watch but this...this is art.
By the way, do yall think that if we got a million signatures on a petition, Uwe might go jump off a cliff? Just a thought.
JokesJokes
newtype2011
Posted 3:19 PM 9/4/08
"Doing things differently" does not always mean that one is doing them better. While he is right that there are many boring, psuedo-intellectual, crap movies out, he is failing to tell us why his are not so -
newtype2011
NeVeRMoRe666
Posted 4:05 PM 9/4/08
@PGHdave:
DON'T LIE!! YOU ARE UWE BOLL!! GET OFF KOTAKU!! go on, get!
sheeesh...thinkin he can come around here...trying to change honest folk's opinions and all that...
NeVeRMoRe666
Cathaoir
Posted 4:04 PM 9/4/08
@Jypsy: I signed.
Sieg heil, Cornellius Drebbel! Er...um...Uwe Boll?
Cathaoir
Jypsy
Posted 3:50 PM 9/4/08
@kosikutioner:
Ah well mine is completely serious, so...maybe we will get some signatures...someday.
[www.petitiononline.com]
Jypsy
K-Squad! (Badass Edition)
Posted 3:48 PM 9/4/08
Honestly, i don't have anything better to do with 6 bucks on the weekend, and would rather go watch a movie me and a bunch of friends can bag on than a chick flick. Am i the only one who feels this way? It's the shitty movies that make the good movies good.
K-Squad! (Badass Edition)
GodsBurden
Posted 3:48 PM 9/4/08
@dowingba:
It's called marketing and publicity. He's using this feeble attempt at getting everyone angry at him to go see his movie, fill the seats and make fun of him. Obviously, by looking at his numbers in the past few films he's made, it's not working.
GodsBurden
Erwin
Posted 3:44 PM 9/4/08
@Polywhirl, kosikutioner: I signed.
He must not stop bringing light to this weary world.
Erwin
September
Posted 3:42 PM 9/4/08
... So, how did this guy get in the movie business anyway? And, how is he still in it?
September
HaydenTenno
Posted 3:41 PM 9/4/08
OMG, I love this man. Everyone hates him, but he's such a sarcastic asshole. It's great, lol!
HaydenTenno
Asbestos_Underwear
Posted 3:38 PM 9/4/08
Uwe Boll makes the worst movies from VG licenses? Whoever is saying that has not watched them all!!!
Here is a list for your pleasure:
[en.wikipedia.org]
Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat anyone? Maybe some Super Mario Bros.? I still get shivers when I think about Double Dragon. So far all Vg-movies got internet hate, even the commercially successful ones like Tomb Raider. Even the ones who religiously stick to the lore and ideas of the game, such as Silent Hill. Even the ones that were made by the creators of the video game, such as Final Fantasy.
For those who think that Uwe Boll movies are generally bad I recommend you get the movies "Even dwarfs started small", "Begotten", "Bloody Bill" and "Dracula 3000". Don't blame me if you can't sleep after those movies ever again.
Sure, the Doctor is not making the best of movies, but they are cheap and don't have infinite marketing budget, so why compare them to studio movies that cost 200 millions and more (incl. marketing)? Also, try to remember the hatemail Anakin Skywalker got and the revulsions in your stomach when seeing the trendy mid-twenty Indy sidekick on screenshots.
Asbestos_Underwear
kosikutioner
Posted 3:36 PM 9/4/08
@Jypsy: Well its sort of sarcastic pro-uwe... but still pro!
[www.petitiononline.com]
kosikutioner
dowingba
Posted 4:51 PM 9/4/08
@Cathaoir: Pearl Harbor? The fuck? I didn't realize that when I spent money on watching Transformers. Ugh, I had vowed never to support anyone involved in the making of Pearl Harbor. Dammit.
Pearl Harbor = worst movie ever made, by a really long shot. I'm talking, worse than Uwe and Plan 9 put together. It's so offensively bad I honestly wished I could buy every copy and burn them just to purge the earth of its offensive badness.
Okay, breathe. Breathe. Count to ten.
Fuck Michael Bay stealing my money on your crappy "films". First Pearl Harbor and then the Herbie remake ...er I mean "Transformers".
dowingba
xybur
Posted 4:51 PM 9/4/08
HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAA
"Look I'm Not A Fucking Retard"
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
xybur
fecalchaos
Posted 4:50 PM 9/4/08
It's funny when monkeys throw their shit at each other.
fecalchaos
dowingba
Posted 4:48 PM 9/4/08
@BOMxAgonyxScenex: I used to like Herbie movies when I was a kid. Upon watching Bay's Transformers movie, I can honestly say that, as an adult, I no longer like Herbie movies.
dowingba
Cathaoir
Posted 4:40 PM 9/4/08
Wow, I just looked up Michael Bay on IMDB...
His more recent and upcoming films include Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Amityville Horror, Friday the Thirteenth, The Birds, and Nightmare on Elmstreet. These are all remakes. Also, he's responsible for Pearl Harbor.
D:
Cathaoir
AstroMoth
Posted 4:30 PM 9/4/08
All I can say in favor of Boll is that when I watch one of his movies, at least he gets a reaction out of me even if it's just disappointment and/or mockery. In that respect he is a better filmmaker than Michael Bay, who just gets ambivalence while a room full of people talk over his shitty movie.
AstroMoth
ph15h
Posted 4:27 PM 9/4/08
Shoulda continued reading...
Genius? Some people here have IQs of 150+... We're just lazy. You... It doesn't take a Genius to notice that you need to change your mindset to appeal to the masses, because you and your camcorder are probably a better use of money to fulfill your creative desires.
ph15h
ph15h
Posted 4:23 PM 9/4/08
Uwe Boll never had Megan Fox in one of his movies. Michael Bay>>> Uwe Boll just for that.
ph15h
Passa
Posted 4:19 PM 9/4/08
@Erwin:
x_Passa___________
Seriously, leave the guy alone. He can make any movie he fucking wants, it's his money. You're all just jumping on a really lame bandwagon that has gone out of control.
My tip - go after the dumbasses who give him the rights to certain game to film adaptions.
Passa
chords of steel
Posted 4:15 PM 9/4/08
I don't care that he makes bad videogame movies but he really has no right to insult others like that.
chords of steel
ninjikiran
Posted 4:15 PM 9/4/08
the postal movie is going to be genious man, its 100% his style of movie making so thats why it is going to be so great.
ninjikiran
MissingNo
Posted 4:10 PM 9/4/08
Well hes right about one thing:
" George Clooney bullshit "
^_^
MissingNo
xMaverick
Posted 5:11 PM 9/4/08
He's just a piñata and we're all invited to the party... But boy, you are DAMNED wrong if you expect this piñata to drop any candy.
:)
That's my idea of him, anyway...
xMaverick
Ludwig
Posted 5:09 PM 9/4/08
While I agree he do makes shit movies, the anti-boll movement is going WAY too far, they are voting against movies before watching them, voting against any movie Boll touches even if in reality its a great movie and he didn't had anything to do with it. (They Wait, for example.)
And even Boll's own works are often overlooked, I absolutely enjoyed Heart of America( Home Room.) it was a good movie and it required a great deal of sensibility to be executed.
I'm going to watch Seed too, considering it's not a videogame movie / cash-in produtcion .. you all don't know how good or bad he is because he is not trying to do anything with the movies you guys are watching.
I find The Asylum MUCH worst than Uwe Boll, but they don't mess with videogames so gamers don't give a shit.
Ludwig
faultymoose
Posted 5:07 PM 9/4/08
Uwe's movies are so bad that they're immensely entertaining. I quite like him. I find him adorable. The worst filmmaker in history, but hell, at least that's an achievement :)
faultymoose
marmidukestank
Posted 5:04 PM 9/4/08
I would rather Michael Bay stop making movies than Uwe Boll. Seriously.
marmidukestank
Starsky
Posted 4:58 PM 9/4/08
Is this really still funny provoking Uwe every second day until he finally gives in and utters some stupid statement so the usual suspects have something to write?
I think it's not.
Starsky
svexo
Posted 5:42 PM 9/4/08
@tsathoggua: Well put. The guy truly thinks his a top tier director. But he must be pretty tipsy every time he watches his movies or he'd see what we all see, that his movies suck.
@Passa: You have a good point. But anytime that people have a chance to dog an unjustified arrogance like this, we jump on it. I mean come, on the man lacks basic movie making skills. Look at "Boyz 'N the Hood", that was John Singleton's first film out of film school. He, in his own words, didn't know what the hell he was doing, and that movie turned out in many ways much better that anything that Boll here has put out. If Boll is such a genius, how the hell is Singleton's first film going to be better than any of Boll's films. It doesn't make sense.
This guy has no idea what a good movie is. He thinks that he is the only genius is the business? Has he seen any of Quentin Tarantino's movies, or even Francis Ford Coppola, or Peter Jackson, and know know he doesn't think that he's a better director than Tony or Ridley Scott? If he does hes more of a moron than I'm giving him credit for.
svexo
svexo
Posted 6:17 PM 9/4/08
@bobtheduck: Word. Sorta.
svexo
Morithain
Posted 6:15 PM 9/4/08
That petition to get him to stop is growing pretty fast, almost at 130,000 signatures:
[www.petitiononline.com]
Morithain
svexo
Posted 6:15 PM 9/4/08
@Ludwig: He didn't out smart anyone. It's the stupid trick that I was referring to then I said "unjustified arrogance". We all know what he's doing we see it everyday. Does that mean that we should not react? You are obviously a bit of a fan of his, and I completely respect that I got the feeling that he feels his movies to be of a higher quality than they truly are(makes sense). But the best Directors let the art speak for itself and not their fat mouths.
What no love for QT, I think i understand what you wouldn't like about his movies, but you have to admit that he is one of the best dialog writers ever.
svexo
scarletisred
Posted 6:08 PM 9/4/08
[i32.tinypic.com]
scarletisred
bobtheduck
Posted 5:58 PM 9/4/08
@not_tom_brokaw: Exactly...
Transformers >>>> Uwe Boll and his family and every one of his movies combined, also all those things combined and multiplied by -1 (because if you combine a lot of negatives, you get a negative, so I'd have to show Transformers is even better than the absolute value of these things, though his movies are SOOO bad that that may not be true)
Michael Bay isn't the best director on earth and he overuses "flashy" but Boll should be forbidden by law in every country to make movies...
And companies like Crytek should be burned to the ground for being enthusiastic about his "adaptations"
bobtheduck
svexo
Posted 5:58 PM 9/4/08
@dowingba: What are you talking about you sound almost as ridiculous as I just did.^
I realize that we all have different ideas of what is quality and what is crap. How does the saying go? "one mans garbage is an other mans treasure." Or something like that. However, Pearl Harbor was not nearly as bad as you say it was. For one, the cinematography was very well done,the editing was top notch and the sound was amazing. The story, however, was anoying, and the movie gets really dry in places. But the worst movie ever? Hardly. Go see Zombies 4 then you'll know what crap smells like(there are like 4 or 5, I swear, but they all suck. In fact all the Zombies/Zombie movies suck).
Yo and Keep Tranformers out of this. Thats for a whole 'nother thred.
svexo
BPMα
Posted 5:55 PM 9/4/08
@Asbestos_Underwear:
For the record, I actually find Super Mario Bros. enjoyable, despite how much it strays from the source material. It still maintains to be an entertaining movie.
Which I can't say the same for Boll's movie. They're a bit painful to watch.
BPMα
luxusa
Posted 5:54 PM 9/4/08
oh my lord in heaven huge lulz.
I think he really got upset after seeing the amount of people who signed the petition.
luxusa
Mujah
Posted 5:54 PM 9/4/08
Wait... is he saying that Cabin Fever is the same movie as Hostel or Hostel Part 2? Or that Michael Clayton is the same thing as Leatherheads is the same thing as Good Night and Good Luck?
I think at this point, he's kind of sunken into his own little world. I mean, it was his own little world when he thought that his movies were all good in the first place, but now it's gotten to the point where it's just ridiculous.
"The only genius in the industry"? Really? I would love to see one of the people he criticizes actually reply to this...
Mujah
Fyren
Posted 5:53 PM 9/4/08
Well, there is one thing that he and I agree on; Michael Bay-like directors should go away; who rely on visual bombardment and inducing simple, cheap, emotion ride.
Uwe+Michael Bay= The ultimate couple.
Fyren
Ludwig
Posted 5:51 PM 9/4/08
@svexo:
You know all this, but isn't quick enough to figure he was just trying to piss people off?.. it's obvious .. it's a 4th grade tactic. (Aka. He do know he is not better than all of these except Tarantino.)
Same for the "make one million signatures" deal.. he is outsmarting ALL of you guys with stupid tricks.. LMAO
Ludwig
Yon Von Tleilaxu Kuxthom Thenxon
Posted 5:49 PM 9/4/08
He is trolling. But FAIL because he is a humble individual and this pose looks fake.
Hes a good guy triing to look like a jerk!
Yon Von Tleilaxu Kuxthom Thenxon
svexo
Posted 6:52 PM 9/4/08
@Ludwig: Well you have a good point there.
svexo
excel_excel
Posted 6:46 PM 9/4/08
Pretty infallible, but if it's not clear yet, Boll clearly illustrates that you're at fault, not him. "You have to really wake up and you have to see me what I am," he says. "I am the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye."
I felt sorry for you Boll....but now I feel even sorrier for you
GO MICHAEL BAY!! More explosions next Transformers ok? thxbai
excel_excel
nih
Posted 6:38 PM 9/4/08
Uwe Boll is a psychopath who doesn't understand the meaning of negative press. Once you understand this, he's as transparent as some sort of retarded glass.
nih
Ludwig
Posted 6:37 PM 9/4/08
@svexo:
I'm kidding, tarantino is good at what he does (his movies.) I don't like what he talks and the "ideals" he spread.
And I'm by no means a Uwe Boll fan, like I said, the Uwe bashing is starting to hurt other movies.
[www.imdb.com]
Ratings got crushed by anti-uwe people for no reason. And Like I said, even Uwe's own work should be seen by a less biased view than angry gamers paying a tarantino style vendeta for their beloved games. (His game movies do suck, obviously.)
Just to make it clearer how I stand as a cinema fan, I'm an absolut fan of Chan-Wook Park, Luc Besson, Terry Gilliam, Jean Pierre Jeunet, Tony Scott and so on.
Ludwig
xBETAx
Posted 6:33 PM 9/4/08
I see he's a PETA member, doesnt that stand for "People for the ethical treatment of animals"? Well we homosapiens are animals. And every piece of shit movie this asshat makes is severe torture for us to watch.
xBETAx
Jabjabs
Posted 6:25 PM 9/4/08
Honestly, I love Boll and all this crap he puts on others. It's pure comedy gold every time.
Jabjabs
Pombar
Posted 7:33 PM 9/4/08
Haha, so genius. Totally not the way he means it, either.
Pombar
flubbity
Posted 7:19 PM 9/4/08
"Look, I'm Not A Fucking Retard" - Yes, you are. And what? 'Cause you are still making extremely shitty movies, and what more, you be able to make this shitty movies extremely more shitty! Go back ti Ice Age and freeze forever, please!
flubbity
CQC_NastyN8
Posted 8:01 PM 9/4/08
lol everyone sign the petition and get this guy outta here lmao
CQC_NastyN8
Evil Jim
Posted 7:53 PM 9/4/08
I'm genuinely impressed by Mr. Boll. It must be extraordinarily difficult to put your foot in your mouth while your head is up your ass.
Evil Jim
shadow_judge
Posted 7:44 PM 9/4/08
This dumbass knows how to swear... and that's the only thing he knows.
shadow_judge
StartRunning
Posted 8:34 PM 9/4/08
I'm fine ignoring him some more. If he's really REALLY bad, he will fade away. Heck, and Postal might even be any good.
StartRunning
Witzbold
Posted 8:15 PM 9/4/08
@Quilt: BUT he has lots of aesplosions in his movies!
Witzbold
neobooper
Posted 9:06 PM 9/4/08
He is very entertaining person. Everytime he opens his mouth something 'gold' come out of it, everytime he make a movie it doesn't flop! it doesn't! What I want to know is that Who the Fuck keep funding this guy for making movies? I want to make movies too.
neobooper
coolest_dood
Posted 8:55 PM 9/4/08
you're so Awesome, Uwe Boll. I can't wait to see Postal! it will be a lot of fun.
coolest_dood
el_rezzo
Posted 8:53 PM 9/4/08
Clooney been making some good movies lately, apart from the Ocean's series. Syriana, Good Night Good Luck, and Michael Clayton are some of my favourite films of the last few years. Bloodrayne and In The Name Of The King are not exactly up to that standard Mr Boll.
el_rezzo
MrLister
Posted 9:22 PM 9/4/08
In fifty years time this man will be regarded as one of the legends. Probably not as a director though... Still, he should be allowed to make as many movies of otherwise unfilmable games as he can. Nobody was gonna make a good Bloodrayne movie, and Boll will never get a viable movie licence to destroy unless he actually makes a good maovie, which one day he will. Take enough shots and you'll score eventually, even if it was only because the goalie was losing interest.
MrLister
EmeraldDragon
Posted 9:20 PM 9/4/08
And they say we are all our own worse critics.
EmeraldDragon
Salen
Posted 9:17 PM 9/4/08
Boll is bashing on Michael Bay? Ok, sure, Transformers wasn't exactly the most intellectual film of the century, but it was at least decent. I'd say that we should all try and see if Boll could make a halfway decent movie, but I'm not that kind, and thats about as likely as holding up a golf club during the middle of a thunderstorm and being struck down by the Hubble Telescope and inside it, its filled with money!
Seriously. Not going to happen.
Salen
Acebuckeye13
Posted 9:11 PM 9/4/08
You People don't understand: He didn't just insult Michael Bay. He's repeatedly said the Postal will beat Indiana Jones on opening weekend.
This Guy is absolutly F---ing nuts.
Acebuckeye13
KM91
Posted 9:51 PM 9/4/08
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again," says Boll.
Funny, that's exactly what you've been doing, Boll.
KM91
Strangelove
Posted 10:25 PM 9/4/08
Quotes like "I'm not a fucking retard" make me hate Uwe Boll less.
Strangelove
GrimCW
Posted 10:47 PM 9/4/08
actually he's just like Michael Gay... taking previously established items and then ruining them entirely with his "creativity"
nice try Uwe, but sadly, your wrong in that regard. with the exception that your movies aren't based off other movies/shows, but rather games.
its still no different and unoriginal.
now give your movies some original names and stop calling them the same title as any games, and they may be considered "good" at least since they are original in terms of story/design mostly.
and honestly, no one would even know their based off any games if you tried that, and probably wouldn't judge so harshly.
GrimCW
macorange
Posted 10:32 PM 9/4/08
Come one Uwe, isn't the correct term "fucktard"?
macorange
BjLive45
Posted 11:23 PM 9/4/08
House of the dead.(shudders) The Horror! the Horror! Where does he keep getting money to make these travesties? Oh God I need a cold shower
BjLive45
Yazuka
Posted 11:19 PM 9/4/08
Yes, Owe you are a fucking retard.
You are just to stupid to see it.
Yazuka
KaneRobot
Posted 11:11 PM 9/4/08
I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay
Well, I'll give him that. Michael Bay is indeed a retard.
KaneRobot
MistahJGM
Posted 11:40 PM 9/4/08
I honestly would like to see what Uwe could do with an original film project, not some crappy game flick. I think he has talent and probably could produce some good movies, but for crying out loud, why all these crappy game movies?
MistahJGM
Seiven
Posted 11:40 PM 9/4/08
@Passa: I agree, and for the most part I will watch them...I LOVE B-Flicks. Old monster movies, Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, and anything where their idea of high quality special FX is tossing a gallon of fake blood on the camera.
where would we all be without some great comedy relief from reality...reality sucks.
Seiven
Black Arts Viper
Posted 11:39 PM 9/4/08
They should give him the greenlight to make a splatterhouse movie. He can be the main character because all Rick ever did was shut up and smash things.
Well except in part 3, but he shouldn't get the license to that... only part one.
Black Arts Viper
rizeup
Posted 11:54 PM 9/4/08
I think hes right about his movie Postal.
I'm not one to side with Boll usually but Postal is a masterpiece.
rizeup
Hylian
Posted 11:54 PM 9/4/08
I never really paid attention to this guy, but after what he just said I defeinitely will. A genius? LOL! Where's that petition?
Hylian
Darknight630
Posted 12:41 AM 10/4/08
I can't sign a petition to make this guy stop making movies. I just love the things he says and he gives me many lols.
Darknight630
Eville1
Posted 12:40 AM 10/4/08
Uwe has bolls? I mean balls? I'll say the guy himself is entertaining as all hell. If he'd film himself for an hour ranting, raving and maybe even boxing I'd watch it. How he gets even semi famous people into his movies I'll never know.
Eville1
Homard
Posted 12:23 AM 10/4/08
Uwe Boll insulted Michael Bay.
That's +1 respect for Uwe Boll right there.
Homard
ChiltonGaines
Posted 12:17 AM 10/4/08
Uwe Boll is the one man who could successfully make an Itagaki film. They seem so similar with their brash arrogance. You have to love it.
ChiltonGaines
dgkz0idberg
Posted 12:50 AM 10/4/08
yeah how bout a dead rising movie? that would be so doable for uwe, especially because there's already a movie quite similar to dead risig^^
dgkz0idberg
dgkz0idberg
Posted 12:48 AM 10/4/08
lol, i rented the postal movie like 2 months ago.... wtf was postal out in (good ol') germany way before its out in the us and a?
because the actors are all american...
btw y r u always bashin uwe boll... sure, he dowsnt deliver movies like roland emmerich (from my hometown muhahaa) but be glad that at least someone out there takes the time to make game-based flicks and dowsnt take himself too serious...
has anybody started the pro boll petition yet? got my sig!^^
dgkz0idberg
fuchikoma
Posted 1:43 AM 10/4/08
I don't even know if he really thinks his movies are decent. He's "not a retard" though - he KNOWS no publicity is bad publicity, and as long as he can get the venom flowing, people will know who he is.
fuchikoma
Camann
Posted 1:34 AM 10/4/08
@Wyld: I signed the anti-uwe petition solely so I wouldn't have to hear all the complaining. Of course, I guess that's exactly the opposite stand of Mr. McWhertor isn't it?
Eh, c'est la vie.
Camann
AndrewDB
Posted 1:34 AM 10/4/08
He may not be a fucking retard, but he is a fucking Douche.
AndrewDB
Zombie_Moogle
Posted 1:24 AM 10/4/08
i like to make intellegent post, where i say something meaningful, but all i can think to say is:
what a douch-bag
Zombie_Moogle
vicmasterinc
Posted 2:23 AM 10/4/08
funny how he just calls out those other directors like he's actually good at making movies AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA suck dick uwe no he cant make fucking movies not when they completely ruin something good he should stop while he's only hated by internet ppl he keeps going im sure he'll get more then emails
vicmasterinc
azurai
Posted 2:17 AM 10/4/08
ya, this guy will never make a movie even close to as good as Michale Clayton or Good Night and Good Luck.
(which were about completely different subjects, btw. Michale Clayton was about corporate corruption and warfare and Good Night and Good Luck was about communist witch hunts)
azurai
Derigor
Posted 1:56 AM 10/4/08
Can we get a pro uwe boll link if you did make one
His movies make me laugh so damned hard.
The bad guys in "In the name of the king" looked like the putties from Power Rangers rofl. Yet they were taken seriously by the farmer!? ZOMg hilarious. Please never stop making movies. I need something to bag on once every few months to make my weekend entertaining. Plus like I said in some other Boll thread: Places that show movies and serve alcohol make his movies freaking excellent.
Derigor
goldwings
Posted 1:54 AM 10/4/08
*Bangs head on table several times*
WHY did he have to say that? And here I thought I felt sorry for him.
*Continues banging head on table*
goldwings
stranger
Posted 2:46 AM 10/4/08
@Passa:
Well, it's not his money going into those films. And anyone who refers to himself as a "genius", even if you actually are (and especially more than once in the same interview), really needs to go jump off of a cliff whist wearing his director's finder...
stranger
Shoot2thrill
Posted 2:34 AM 10/4/08
Rejected!
Shoot2thrill
Jacktherip
Posted 2:28 AM 10/4/08
Oh Uwe you crack me up. His genius is the kind that everyone wants to stay in his head and not be used to create the "masterpieces" that he does. I can't wait until he does make a good movie because his posts after making horrible ones are great, so after the good ones it should be even greater right?
Jacktherip
shimage
Posted 3:46 AM 10/4/08
I hate Uwe Boll movies as much as the next guy, but these posts are getting pretty lame. Sure, calling himself "genius" may be an ... exaggeration, but he's right about Michael Bay and Eli Roth making megabucks off of the same old shit over and over again. I have as much faith in the average movie-goer choosing a good movie as I have in the average game-buyer buying a good game: none.
Lastly, it's in poor taste to insult his English. It's not good, but not bad enough (in my opinion) to bother mentioning. In particular, the are uncountably many native-speaking retards that post shit with worse english. On the other hand his spoken english is pretty damn hard to follow.
shimage
darvos
Posted 3:36 AM 10/4/08
I love this guy. I think he is a genius, not in making movies, but a genius anyway.
darvos
Eville1
Posted 4:27 AM 10/4/08
[www.petitiononline.com]
There's your damn Pro Boll petition people. (Haha pro bowl. I kill myself sometimes.)
Eville1
KreacherOfBloodandRank
Posted 4:47 AM 10/4/08
Boll: "Im not a fucking retard"
Well let me correct you there Uwe =P
KreacherOfBloodandRank
retronaut
Posted 4:47 AM 10/4/08
Uwe Boll's movies might be pretty shitty... but come on cut the guy some slack! His movies aren't that bad as e.g. Starship Troopers 2 - now that was really a stupid movie.
And the guy is just hilarious, POSTAL = teh crazy!
retronaut
DefiantDragon
Posted 4:43 AM 10/4/08
Dungeon Seige made me laugh - those deep kind of belly laughs you can only get from watching Burt Reynold's immobile, stretched face trying to act.
Hey, if nothing else, Boll is bringing the Gaming community - all factions and genres - together. That's gotta be worth something.
The cost of a movie ticket? No...
But something.
DefiantDragon
mightyg
Posted 4:39 AM 10/4/08
@HALO-32:
lol i 2nd that
mightyg
mightyg
Posted 4:34 AM 10/4/08
this makes me want to puke. if he was around, at least there might be a CHANCE that some of these game to movie adaptations would turn out well. with Boll, it's garunteed to be mediocre or worse. His true genius is still being around after this many shitty movies.
mightyg
Evil J
Posted 6:11 AM 10/4/08
@Huxleyhobbes:
He HAS no studio support... he bankrolls most of the movies *ahem* himself or from "private investors"... hence my "Producers" theory.
Evil J
Evil J
Posted 6:10 AM 10/4/08
@svexo:
Because... it's pure popcorn and no one likes popcorn movies... or at least admits to it. There's a reason that his films gross insane amounts of money: timing, and consistency of knowing what to expect. Limited acting, poor writing, but explosions and special effects that will make you say "oooh" and "aaah".
Bay's movies remind of Fourth of July fireworks. You can expect them every summer, you can expect the same slack-jawed expression on everyone who watches it's face, and no one but children will say after the fact how much they enjoyed it because they don't want to look, well, childish.
I personally like them for what they are: disengage brain, enjoy pretty pictures. It's ok for movies to be like that sometimes...
Now... on to Boll.
He's right. He is different than Bay and Roth. Both pretty much make the same movie over and over (although, how Hostel and Cabin Fever were exactly the same, I'm not sure... Hostel II was a carbon copy of the first, though). Uwe Boll does make unique movies every time he makes one.
He continues to find fresh and unique ways to fuck things up, and make absolute shit. I like how much time and effort he's taken defending/promoting Postal, however no mention of Bloodrayne II where BILLY THE KID IS A FUCKING VAMPIRE? Really? Not proud of that masterpiece, Uwe?
I seriously think that Uwe Boll is part of a conspiracy, and a scam similar to "The Producers" plot, and have heard second-hand that German tax laws could actually make such a plot feasible as well as profitable.
Why else would he intentionally do a movie called "House of the Dead" where there was no house to speak of or "Alone in the Dark" where the opening sequence has only been compared to "Manos: Hands of Fate" for sheer longevity and stupidity?
If this is the case, he's a fucking genius.
Oh, and Boll... I'll climb into the ring any time and say any of this to your face. I'd probably not fit inot your "has to be at least 150 lbs less than me to fight them" rule in that I actually box and don't look like Butterbean.
Evil J
darkstar5555
Posted 6:04 AM 10/4/08
He called Michael Bay a fucking retard. Wow.
darkstar5555
Huxleyhobbes
Posted 5:53 AM 10/4/08
The REAL way to get his drivel off the big screen is to simply not watch anything made by anyone who funded him or whatever, boycott the studios that support him, etc.
Huxleyhobbes
svexo
Posted 5:41 AM 10/4/08
Can some one explain to me why everyone seems to hate michael bay?
svexo
septajohn
Posted 6:20 AM 10/4/08
uwe boll is the ultimate troll
septajohn
Mlata
Posted 6:19 AM 10/4/08
Hey, a pretty smart way to DRAW ATTENTION and promotie his new MOVIE POSTAL.
Now I have to so for myself if it's really THAT BAD!
JUST to SCORE OFF Uwe!
Mlata
interstate78
Posted 7:33 AM 10/4/08
Well he IS right about one thing: unlike Michael Bay and the gang, he does put out stories that are not of the cookie-cutter type.
oh well
interstate78
Americo
Posted 8:04 AM 10/4/08
What's this I hear about Boll being a fucking retard?
Americo
sm_twinz
Posted 8:00 AM 10/4/08
I am fine with Boll saying he has genus in making movies. He just has a genus that does not appeal to regular people.
But saying he is the ONLY genus, He is a fucking cocky bastard.
sm_twinz
dfp360
Posted 7:55 AM 10/4/08
You know what, I'm starting to get a grudging respect for Uwe Boll. Yes, his films are complete shit. No, there isn't a grain of talent in his entire body but you know what, the guy's got BALLS.
It takes stones to come out and shit-talk about Spielberg. It takes stones to take it to your enemies in the press - literally. The man knows he's a joke, and yet every time he takes a beating he gets back up, dusts himself down and is ready for more.
Whatever you think about the man, you've got to respect the guy's staying power.
dfp360
deviantchicken
Posted 9:18 AM 10/4/08
You know, until now I almost sympathized for Uwe and felt that the hate people have for him is ridiculous and rude.
Well Uwe, your childish, stuck-up "genius" has just convinced me to not give a crap about how much people hate you in the industry.
Your movies suck,
and your attitude does to.
Goodbye.
deviantchicken
Samos42
Posted 10:57 AM 10/4/08
I don't know. I might go see Postal. I mean, it really isn't fair for me to judge the guy I think since I've never seen one of his movies. I've only seen bad reviews. And while those are certainly with good reason, I don't think I can make fun of the guy without seeing Postal first (which is supposedly the best movie he's made so far). Then I can join everyone else here.
I think Uwe is pretty good guy, honestly. He just doesn't to make very good movies. And, be honest, wouldn't you be more than a bit pissed off if hundreds of thousands of people hated you for your movies and constantly gave you shit about it? Yeah, he keeps making movies, but I think that's a personality thing that he has to keep trying (and a bit of an ego thing as well, most likely).
And I don't know why I'm defending the guy. I guess I'm just in a good mood today.
Samos42
yanipheonu
Posted 10:35 AM 10/4/08
That guy has his head so far up his ass, he can't watch his own movies.
yanipheonu
YUYU
Posted 10:35 AM 10/4/08
I dont hate the guy. Probably because he hasn't ruined any of my favorite game series'.
Stay the fuck away from the MGS and Tekken movie, and we're good. Although, the Tekken movie isn't sounding so great right now anywayz.
YUYU
Jobbo_Fett
Posted 11:00 AM 10/4/08
Uwe Boll is my hero!
Jobbo_Fett
Aikio
Posted 8:47 AM 10/4/08
his movies are Sh*tty
Aikio
juscallmeweasel
Posted 7:19 PM 9/4/08
Hell stop soon anyway, i heard the German Gov are stopping giving tax releaf to failed movies (in short)
Soon as hes not going to