One of my favorites of his so far but I'm enjoying the shit out of Condemned2. The bad thing is the fact that I was probably about 3/4 of the way through and my save game just.... vanished. I'm back to the museum now and I can't wait to play through the snow/hunting lodge level. I LOVED that shit.
Anyway, as usual that Yahtzee dude is close to spot on and hilarious. "Snoman w/ a bukkake fetish" ...beautiful.

El Patricko

@entropyblues: No offense, but I'm getting tired of hearing people say that a new ZP episode "isn't the best" or even if it is. Why can't we just enjoy these instead of comparing them all the time?

Back to the topic at hand: I wrote in to The Escapist about buying a ZP t-shirt, like the message at the end says to, and so should anyone else who enjoys this man's work.

Crosswayboy

Wow, Yahtzee kindly informs us that 'asuaged' is a real word.

In the interests of parity, I'd like him to know that 'patronising' and 'cunt' are just as real.

(great music by the way)

Cruithne

This is my chance to get up on my soap box and shout how disappointed I was with Indigo Prophecy.

The game play was just bad. Or rather it was usually too easy, frustrating, or just plain bad.

This of course would of been somewhat easier to stomach if the story was any good, but it just wasn't anything special. Matrix style fighting? The main character being controlled by the real killer? Been there, done that.

Thorax

He's right, Indigo Prophecy tanked so damn badly at the halfway mark. It was going so well, but then all of a sudden you're fighting Evil AIs and the Illuminati/Mayans. Stupid stupid stupid.

Naelok

@Clamchop: ROFL at the +10 he got when he played her the song. Interesting life stat, Musician = +10 Panty Removal.

If only the chicks dug Guitar Hero stars... :(

Otacon91

@Likwit:

Phew... for a moment there I thought that we'd forgotten to add the ubiquitous "Zero Punctuation sucks" comment.

Nice save, Likwit.

Pizzicato

It's more the final credits sequence that I care for in this particular review: Zero Punctuation Shirts? Oh hells yes please.
Just the idea of having the little Yahtzee avatar dispensing snarky comments on my chest makes me happy.

Mattz

Indigo Prophecy, despite its weird turn towards insane mysticism 2/3 of the way through, was awesome and remains severely underrated. I may end up buying a PS3 not for MGS4, but for the "Origami Killer" game that will be the "spiritual successor" of IP.

nonpareil

Hilarious, as usual. I should check Condemned 2 out some time. Medievel themed sword fighting sounds fun.

zoz

@Otacon91: Check Youtube you can see that two sex mini-games were cut from the US release.You hero gives up some necrophiliac sex near the end. The game is still awesome and I loved it. even with the crazy ending. My favorite part were the flashback scenes. Kids can be creul.

jackal888

@Otacon91: Here's the full uncut version of it:

[www.gametrailers.com]

Apparently this was cut out of the American PC and PS2 versions. I think the clip elaborates enough without me having to. ;)

Clamchop

Hmmm...perhaps I should check out Condemned 1.

Furious_Liver

Condemned 2 is still a great game, even if the ending is all about shouting and shooting.

For_the_lulz

the sam fisher comment was spot on

Markyboy

@Alex.C: @Derigor:

[www.gamespot.com]

Stefanten

I had high hopes for this game but I keep hearing the same thing. The story isn't that great. Sigh.

kojirodensetsu

@Clamchop: Could never bring my self to beat the game so PLEASE elaborate more as I know the game got edited in some countries. I'm not sure if the US got the edited version or if it was Europe.

Amen to that review. Lord knows how many times I put a game down because they story took a fucking left turn into a well and I couldn't take it anymore. Indigo being one of said games.

Otacon91

Haha, I like what he is doing with his characters.

Good stuff as always.

The_Phiphler

Awesome review. Havn't picked up Condemned 2 yet, but this makes me weary. Does it really get all fucked up like that later on?

Scazza

@entropyblues:

Session 9 loses alot of its draw when youve actually been inside (and extensivley explored) the danvers hospital.

@Derigor: first person dead rising with condemned controls yes please

Alex.C

Was he making fun of Freeman and his crowbar skills?

Rebel Without Applause

This guy is getting really old.

Likwit

I liked Indigo Prophecy a lot but he's right about the ending being slightly ridiculous. If you didn't play it to the end though you didn't get to see the hot coffee action that went on right before the final battle.

Fahrenheit action > Mass Effect lesbian alien sex.

Clamchop

I looked behind me for that murder guy lol... and yes he's hiding under my bed.

kaish

"Indigo Prophecy syndrome" is a great way to put it. That game had a lot going for it at the start, then everything gets really stupid.

burpingcat

If they learned from the bad ending of Indigo Prophecy then Heavy Rain is going to be awesome.

MikeH

Brilliant as usual. "I wish I was fucking kidding" is probably my favorite part of the video. You can tell how frustrated he was and that make it even more hilarious.

Hauler

May not be the funniest Zero Punctuation, but it's pure fucking truth.

Also, Session 9 was awesome.

entropyblues

Can Monolith just make a Bum Fight adventure/simulator game? Seriously I love beating homeless people with mannequin arms and various other items like crutches... and the melee is top notch. just give me more combat less wierdo plot. OR go the other way and implement Condemned 2 play style into some Dead Rising action and let me veggitate on my couch with zombie punching goodness.

Derigor

Indigo Prophecy was great.

Though I have the agree, the ending was horrible. All that build up....and bam you got crapfest of a ending. :-(

Figcoinc

Yeah, thought it was great. The Indigo Prophecy thing is so true for quite a bit of games actually.

It all goes well halfway until it starts veering off into a wall.

BlackDove

Indigo Prophecy was an excellent game... as long as you turned the game off about an hour before the end of the game, and made up your own ending.

LordMaim

This guy is so played out......

Admonisher

I've got to compliment Yahtzee on his music choice. Sure it only lasted for a few seconds, but it was Ghost Town!

Indigo Prophecy was on my "games to play" list before this review...it still is, though now I'm a little concerned. Then again, I don't mind some explanation in my games. Though maybe I've just grown so used to ridiculous plot twists that I don't really mind them anymore.

Trystero

I looked back.

MadGodji

This was definitely one of his funniest!

YUYU

C'mon Yahtzee there are black tar monsters spawning from random pools, how could you not have expected it two swing into strange fantasy land?

pABSO

@Anemone: Clearly you have not seen Meet the Spartans.

Clamchop

Condemned 2 was shit compare to the first one. Part two is just not scary, although the rabid-bear chase scene was cool as hell.

xgenius

@ExistentialEgg: Thanks, I'll remember that.
I turn games off from being paused or just sitting there all the time. You know how it goes - you're on your eighth bourbon on the rocks in the middle of a heated gaming session and the next thing you know it's 7:30am, said drink is all over your lap and you're wondering where that bizzare, creepy ambient sound is coming from before realizing it's a pause screen. You know what I mean, right.... right?

El Patricko

@Scazza: All you need to know is that I liked it.

Now go out and buy it along with 1.

;D

Witzbold

@Doomstalk: Yeah, I hit a bug in the museum board, it would NOT trigger the "study evidence" option... it's a buggy game, but I REALLY enjoyed it. Probably the most immersive first person game i've played in a long time. Not perfect, but definitely worth my time and money.

ExistentialEgg

ZP is still funny, but it doesn't seem to me to be as side-splittingly funny as it once was. However, I may just be building up a 'tolerance' to. Has anyone else out there found that to be the case?

ca$h

I'm still waiting for his review of Silent Hill 5 (whenever it's released).. That's going to be fucking gold. However, no this review, I like Condemned and thought this was hilarious.

Voteforme2020

@ExistentialEgg: I hit this crazy bug where my left analog stick and the buttons stopped working after I loaded my save. I had to start the mission over to fix it.

Doomstalk

@Anemone:

Is that the "fake reality TV show" (kind of an oxymoron I know) movie where people have to kill each other to win the big prize?

I kind of liked it....

CaptLtrl

@Scazza: Yes and no.

I suppose you could just use Indigo Prophecy as a proof here: I thought IP let the story slip away in the last ten minutes or so, but because of how invloving the game was, it ultimatly didn't bother me that much and I was willing to ride the supernatural stuff up until the end for the same reason.

Condemned 2 is the same: as the game starts giving way to the supernatural elements (which doesn't happen until aroun 2/3 of the way in, not 1/2) I found I was much to invested in it to really mind.

I suppose another way to look at it is if you are willing to buy the outlandish shite that goes down in the first portion of this game and almost all of the last condemned, -hardly realistic, when you think about it and, though not supernatural, the slasher flick sensibility from which these games grow requires a willingness to suspend a lot of disbelief.

PearceShea

@Wolf_Dog: It's true. The plot drives head-first into stupid territory rather quickly. Condemned 2 isn't half as bad, and the pacing isn't completely fucked like it was in IP.

Doomstalk

@El Patricko: On Lost Saved Files: I heard that if you always make sure to turn the game off from the MAIN screen, your save will be fine. I think it was being erased whenever you turn the game off from the pause menu. At least I had read that, avoided doing it, and never had a save problem.

ExistentialEgg

I really enjoyed Condemned 2. And, honestly, a lot of the plot stuff was clearly planned from the beginning. One thing I would complain about, though, are the various news reports sprinkled throughout. The tone of the writing is all wrong, and they sound like they're read by someone who flunked out of drama class.

Doomstalk

I just lost all respect for Yahtzee. Session 9 was not a good movie. A few weeks ago I mentioned that Donnie Darko was the second worst movie that I had ever been talked into watching... The worst was Session 9.

Anemone

I'm playing through Condemned 2 for the second time. For all it's retarted story bits, it is pure and simple fun. Throwing people headfirst into TVs, impaling them on metal jotting out of a wall, etc. is fun no matter the setting.

I really really need to go back and play through the first one now though after hearing what the ending is on that. EEP! That is nightmare material. I think I'll wait until 2 am to load it up to get the full effect.

CaptLtrl

My PS2 refused to play anyone of my 3 COPIES of Indigo Prophecy past 3/4 of the game. Reading the comments and watching this made me realise maybe it was for the best...

Wolf_Dog

@DeRangedKaos: I'm not gonna buy the game anytime soon, so can you elaborate about this snow level everyone seems to make a highlight of the game? Is the snow scary? Is it like that Horrible Jack Frost movie where the snow man raped Shannon Elizabeth? Tell me massa tell me!

Otacon91

Down for the steak knives and Yahtzee's gay jokes.

Truvill

I thought Condemned 2 was awesome.

Granted this video is still fucking hilarious!

@0bsessions: The first condemned should be cheap enough by now I suggest playing through it before playing the second one.

Witzbold

I personally loved Condemned 2. The snow lodge level was great because the developers managed to hit right on a personal phobia of mine. I literally had to set the controller down and walk away for a bit (a very rare event).

I still need to finish it on hard mode, then I shall be completely done with the single player stuff. =) And I have a feeling that I'll return to it over the next year or so to play again, much like I did with Condemned.

DeRangedKaos

I absolutely love Condemned 2 and this review still cracks me up. Good times!

Cchrist

I've never played the original Condemned, but this really makes me want to check it out.

0bsessions

Condemned 2 was good, but it's no cult classic like the first. That review is spot on, especially with how they revealed too much of the mystery of the games.

Aye Mak Sicur

Also I forgot to mention, if you want a good example of how to do terror properly, I reference the Shalebridge Cradle level from Thief: Deadly Shadow. At least that game had a pedigree for integrating occult elements into the game.

Ethereal006

Indigo Prophecy started great, but the longer it went the more miffed I got by the lack of sense it made.... not to say that I wasn't entertained, but I have yet to go back and finish the game. As for Condemned 2, the game is scary enough on its own without having to resort to cliched, supernatural cult plots, but I guess someone research firm must have told Sega that the occult was back in.... which is clearly not the case. I watched the original versions of The Omen series a few weeks ago and then saw the remake, I was not left longing for further devilry and accidental death. Although Final Destination 4 got greenlit by somebody so clearly I must not be in the target demographic for this type of stuff.

Ethereal006

@CaptLtrl:

Nope, that's Series 7, which was good fun. Session 9 is abandoned mental institution, creepy stuff. I saw it, but can't honestly remember much.

@ca$h:

I still find him funny, though not always hilarious, some weeks it's better than others. Even when I don't find his reviews as funny, I still enjoy them though - his criticism is usually spot-on.

incompleteunit

@Derigor:

It's people like you that make me want to lock my doors at night :)

rupinderpaul

Well thats a turnaround, this one was a lot better than his previous ones and i completely agree with most of what he says (about indigo), spot on.

oh and ghost town <3

Skunx

@DeRangedKaos: dog? cat? hamster? DETAILS MAM!! I checked wikipedia and got now answer in the plot synopsis.

Otacon91

@Admonisher: How is he played out? He's giving weekly game reviews that are not only clever and usually quite funny but also point out flaws in games that most other reviewers completely miss. Just because he has gotten very popular doesn't mean he's played out or has a worn out schtick.

El Patricko

I just play the Condemned 2 demo over and over on ps3. I love the sound effects of beating someones ass down. Oh and knocking them down then stomping them! GAWD yes.

Derigor

@Otacon91: lol. I think someone said it after you asked...so I have no worries of telling you: you get chased.....by a big rabid animal. lol.

I have a phobia of that because I was chased by a rabid raccoon a few years back.

So that whole scenario, which I was able to correctly guess within a few minutes of that level (which had me wigging out long before anything happened), was just uncomfortable for me.

I am now kind of thinking about checking out Indigo Prophecy just for the sake of having another game to play that isn't 360 related. lol. I love my older systems, I do.

DeRangedKaos

This might be my favorite yet? I duno. I am such a sucker for quick wit I cannot help but like all this recycled garbage he keeps throwing at us lol.

KrsJin

@Witzbold: "All you need to know is that I liked it.
Now go out and buy it along with 1."

You would have a great career in Marketing!
"Witzbold likes! You go Buy!"

Freaking Geniusness, mate!

Mr.SithNinja

@Luv2Hate: Shit mate any game I buy I can beat in a day if its of the FPS or action genre.

Not to be a dick but anyone who rates something on the time it takes to beat a game is a tit.

If theres one thing I hate is when people cant appreciate all of the finer points and mass upgrades the second game had over the first one. Then write it all up to being "ok" by leg humping the internet hate wagon.

Witzbold

To all those who was saying its not as scary as the first or its not a cult classic etc, think about it thats becuase you already know what to expect from the game.

The experience is no longer "unique" asides from the new gameplay mechanics and MASSIVE graphical overhaul.

Also about those bitching with the story went to hell in a handbasket halfway through the story in the first one didnt make much sense either. At least the 2nd one patches up a lot of the wtf holes the first one left.

Still its a fucking triple A game regardless.

Although I do miss teeth rolling on the ground. Man was that amusing.

Witzbold

@I_Hate_This_Place:

agreed

NocturnOwl357

@Scazza:
Yeah... worth a rental though. It can be beaten in a weekend. It's a 6.5

Luv2Hate

Star Ocean 3 reminds me of what he was talking about with Indigo Prophecy Syndrome. Great build up...and then suddenly it's all cancelled for some alien reality show subplot.

TRT-X

Also, anyone complaining about where the plot ends up going in condemned 2 obviously never paid attention to the story in Condemned: Criminal Origins. If you paid close attention you could tell it was heading the way it ended up. No one has "premonitons" like Ethan had in the original and just calls it "good detective work". Plus, they tell you there's something weird around his vocal cavity, but it's classified

I_Hate_This_Place

Lol @ that IP sex scene. More softcore cinemax porn in my games please.

Derigor

This will probably be my favorite game of 2008. I honestly don't see any game that's coming out during the rest of 2008 to be as good as this for me. Especially considering the multiplayer turned out to be amazingly fun, though I thought it was going to be trash.

And yes, I know GTA4,MGS, and Gears of War 2 have yet to come out. Personally, I don't think those will touch the experience this game gives you. I highly recommend both the original and the sequel. If you pick up the sequel, go play crime scene online for some truly "shit your pants" moments

I_Hate_This_Place

saw it earlier and he nailed IP right on the head. if anything he failed to mention the fact that IP had the qualities of game of the year for the first half, then the second half it 'jumps the train' and goes from game of the year to being "WHY DID I BUY THIS SHIT?!" very quickly

huginn

@Witzbold: I didn't have as much "AAHHH WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?* moments but i did feel the useual *i don't wan't to play anymore this is too creepy holy shit was that a baby* feeling. So all in all still a scary game.

It's awesome and everyone should play it. And if you don't like it i'll do my best to give you the real experiencs >:D

Cchrist

Awesome review. Seen it twice already. Wednesday's are no longer the bleak deathwish inducing days that they once were. Wish he'd do more than one of them per week but sadly will make do with one quality review per week.

captain_laxpants

Man, I am apparently a mutant. I don't think yahtzee went nearly far enough on this one.
I thought that this could have been a great game, but failed on so many levels.

1) Plot, terrible, awful, shitty, bad bad bad bad bad.

2) Man I'm a baddass dude, but I just can't lift my fat ass over this 3 foot barricade. Special hatred for if I happen to get close enough to a spot that I might be able to climb over or under or squeeze through and I know that now there is a point to trying to find said spot unlike the million other places in the game I've been that looked exactly the same but I couldn't get through and notice the prompt to hit button to continue with game.

3) Weapon degradation is fine if I'm clubbing someone to death with a crutch but when I've got a damn lead pipe I'm inclined to think I can use it for an awfully long time on peoples heads before it breaks.

4) horror doesn't require a blackish brown pallet fucking everywhere

5)messed up vision does not equal horror. Oooh sepia vision scarey, ooh blue and white vision scarey.

What it did right.
Yay for hand to hand system that isn't generic.
Yay for forensics. Best parts of the game were tracking blood trails through dark buildings wondering if it wasn't time to pull out a weapon.
Yay for using altered reality for the most part well (the best visuals in the game were done this way).

My problem with the bear stuff was that there were more than a few times when I found not dying automatically to be not terribly intuitive.

The only stuff I found creepy was the black slime folk.

This could have been the computer game version of the paper and pen rpg Kult (and clearly somebody involved had seen said game) and had it been it would have been one of the best games ever.

Everyone else seems to have enjoyed this game far more than I did.
I'm so alone :(

cunning001

I never thought Yahtzee would rag on a game for the logical progression of the story. Surely he saw this coming given the strange events at the end of the last game. Looks like he got left in the dust this time...

Ulquiorra

@ExistentialEgg:
O damn I flocked up, on the boat to the land fill chasing blue tubes and my wife wanted to watch a DVD (HD-DVD drive on 360) so I got to a 'saving' prompt and bailed out with the middle button ....not a good choice aye.
On another note about Condemned 1, The biggest complaint I heard from most gamers on forums and critic reviews was that their were TOO FEW guns involved! WTF so they listen and get Condemned for it .. pun intended.

sh0tgunn0strils

@Witzbold: =) You make me happy.

I really did appreciate the fact this game tied up the ends of its strings very neatly at the finish instead of some odd moment where you have to wonder what it all means. That was probably something got lauded by me.

And I agree about the teeth. I remember the first time I saw that in the first game. I had to do it again to make sure I was seeing everything correctly.

As far as the story-line in Condemned 2, I actually liked running around the museum and being able to use random weapons from the displays. I also viewed the ending with all the shooting as somewhat symbolic in the way that, you are no longer in a situation where pure melee combat cannot help you anymore...aka: things are getting serious.

Over examination? Quite possibly, but it works in my scrambled little brain.

DeRangedKaos

I really liked Session 9 as well!

bigdonthedj

hahaha, that was great. hubcaps.

AlkalineSolo

Best feature in condemned 2 is by far being able to THROW your weapons.

Ah the memories of Rune on the PC come flooding back.

Now only if the sharp ones would have stuck in peoples bodies my life would have been complete.

Witzbold

@HawaiianActor: Its just you Vs. my personality.

I tell it like it is regardless if folks like it or not.

Witzbold

I apologise to anyone who's said this before but I couldn't be bothered trailing through 90 comments to make sure someone hadn't.

Funny as always, but the first game did explain why all the homeless people had gone radio rental. Granted, you had to unlock the special police reports by achieving the achievements, but it explained it nonetheless! Although, having not played Condemned 2 yet, I'm dismayed to hear that it may have thrown subtlety out of the window. I quite liked the fact that, in Condemned, you had to earn (admittedly easy achievements) to gain a better insight into the story. It actually gave achievements a reason to exist.

Regardless, I'm still going to play it, I'll probably still love it, and I'll probably avoid going to my kitchen to make a coffee at midnight for the next 3 or 4 months.

Spiraltribesman

@Witzbold: i agree with most of what you are saying there, as far as the length of a game should not be the ONLY rating factor, but it is definitely a factor to be considered, whether it is too short or too long.i don't think you can just toss that aspect out the window, that is like tossing out the graphics or the sound in a game when doing a review.

btw, i thought we were trying to stop with the name calling here on kotaku, per last week's ban-o-rama. i mean, tits in general tend to be a good thing, but calling someone a tit either directly or indirectly seems like a step backwards on that front...
maybe that is just me though...

HawaiianActor

I won't claim to have enjoyed every recent ZP, but I found this one pretty outstanding.

Mrclumpy

I seriously wanted to look behind me at the "Yours" part.

Awesomesauce.

Frank

Oh god and I was going to get that...if they really did that stupid cult shit like indigo prophecy (so good up until they revealed all of that), then I'm really hesitant to get it, and the first one was so damn good :(

tshack

@Witzbold: i've got nothing against ya personally Witz, and i usually agree with you. in fact, when you were first handed the banhammer a while back i was happy with the results. but it seems like if you are gunna "tell it like it is" as you put it, you shouldn't ban people for the same thing, which in this case the name calling. it adds nothing to the conversation, you stated it as a fact and not as your opinion, and was overall unnecessary in your comment. check it out:

"Shit mate any game I buy I can beat in a day if its of the FPS or action genre.

Anyone who rates something on the time it takes to beat a game is missing out on the many other aspects of the game.

If theres one thing I hate is when people cant appreciate all of the finer points and mass upgrades the second game had over the first one. Then write it all up to being "ok" by leg humping the internet hate wagon."

it got your point across, without reverting to what we had problems with last week. i just think you should hold yourself to the same standards you hold the rest of us to. oh well, i already know you are going to do what you want to do because you pretty much hold yourself above the banhammer yourself (which you may have earned with all the work you have to do keeping certain types of people off Kotaku), so i probably shouldn't bother, i was just pointing out something that i personally have come to notice lately. i will just get back on topic before i find myself on the recieving end of your hammer swing:

i love zero punctioation! it makes me laugh!

HawaiianActor

I really enjoyed this one. Is it his best? I don't know, but from where I'm standing I really enjoyed it. It was funny and I haven't played any of the games mentioned and that's what I like about a lot of his reviews. To all the people complaining about him, just stop watching. Then the rest of us won't have to hear you whine about how he wasted five minutes of your life.

Tiger-Fever

@Witzbold:

Oh, man, Rune mp was really fun.

Strangelove

Yahtzee's back this week. The image of Condemned 2 wiping the turds off the pie is hilarious.

Strangelove

I laughed harder at this wks than lasts. I have to say I am intrigued by the Ha-do-ken technique this guys gets.

ThatsMrOffDutyNinja

God I love Yahtzee. Hope he's around for a long time. I can read rave reviews about a game, and then I can watch his video on it and find the truth somewhere in between.

I personally loved the suspense of Condemned... I haven't played 2, nor did I beat the first... but I enjoyed the bit that I experienced. I watched a trailer for the second on 'Inside Xbox' (or whatever the hell that new widget is on the XBL dashboard,) and I personally thought that the differences in forensics were spot on. I love how much more intuition has to come into play in Condemned 2 (such as recognizing that a bullet wound was an exit wound from seeing how blood splattered or a difference in size of the holes.)

Sounds like an awesome game, and I both enjoy and appreciate every one of Yahtzee's reviews, no exception here. =]

@El Patricko: Haven't you met this generation?

"If it's popular, it can't be funny... because too many people know about it. It's only funny if no one knows about it."

While I know I was a bit superfluously redundant with the explanation of logic... it's really the truth behind how people think these days. I don't get it... it's the same with bands (my cousin hates Simple Plan now because they 'used to be underground... now too many people know them.), tv shows (especially anime... Naruto was 'awesome' and then it got localized for the US... now everyone hates Naruto.)

I don't know.

SlamDancinMoogle

Yahtzee is the god of all that is reviewing.... And he's definitely got his steam back, i laughed my ass off..

K-Squad! (Badass Edition)

@CaptLtrl: Nope, it's the only movie that's hard enough to tackle the very real issue of stress in asbestos removal. The whole thing has an super-plot of some tapes with a mental patient who killed a guy and had multiple personalities. Eventually one dude goes nuts and kills everyone and the climax plays out to the 9th session that the original killer had with her psychologist. Long story short the ending is a horrible posession copout and the movie sucks ass. Bonus points for having the king of horrible actors/career planners David Caruso (left a great show to do shit like Session 9 only to go back to another popular cop-type show ten years later. Do yourself a favor and avoid the movie like a plague unless you're drunk/high and/or want something to ruthlessly make fun of with friends.

Anemone

I can't believe I forgot about that part in Indigo Prophecy where Lucas gets some ass.

Now after seeing it again, it trumps all sex scenes in video games...caused he banged her in an abandoned train car.

But if this is the fate of Condemned 2, I should at least play the first one to know it before I judge I guess

Batousi

@Anemone: maybe i just really like asbestos removal, but i found the movie incredibly creepy.. the ending could have easily been cheesy, but it was downright disturbing in my eyes/ears. i especially liked the (real) abandoned mental institution setting. not all of us have the pleasure of exploring danvers, after all.

however, if you're not a fan of donnie darko either (really liked on first viewing, said like has diminished upon further sittings), i'm guessing our tastes are too different..

geekgrrl

@Likwit: So stop watching it.

belo

@geekgrrl: Well the removal of asbestos is a noble act; the things that asbestos does to a person's lungs are downright frightening to see. I may come at it from a different angle since my area has an abnormally high amount of creepy abandoned junk like that. The mental hospital was one of the least creepy ones around here. The worst was the house of a dentist who killed his family that sits in on the edge of a forest. All of the things were still in the house from when he practiced there and it was in an advanced state of disrepair. I wouldn't be surprised to find that it has fallen by now. We thought better of exploring the upstairs due to how rickety everything was, but the ground floor was exceptionally chilling to see with all of the antiquated dentistry instruments and the old player piano. Jumping down into the basement that had no stairs was pretty bad too. It was filled with spoiled home-canned goods across one wall and the rest was littered with random indiscernible debris.

I umm, didn't really have many things to do as a teenager...

As for the ending of Session 9, I sort of think that it would have worked better if they hadn't added the voice over at the end that went along the lines of "they always let me do it, doc." Perhaps if I had a different experience when watching it the first time it may have been different. As I had mentioned in a roundabout manner, when watching the movie my friends and I were quick to point out everything wrong with the movie and we were dismissive immediately upon reading the information tag before even watching the movie. I will say that I've seen probably seen Session 9 more times than the films editors given that I watched it several times with friends in the previously mentioned manner, and I had to write up a paper on the movie as well so that added another 3-4 viewings. Now I'm unrepentantly off topic and I'm pretty sure that Witz is going to send me nasty messages ; ;

Oh and the lobotomy scene where he picks up the ice pick and the guys head rises with it for a moment was pretty memorable, so I'll give them that much. If you're ever bored it's worth looking into the practice of lobotomies. The ice-pick method was actually devised by someone who wanted to take the practice of destroying parts of the brain away from neurosurgeons and to put it into the hands of what were essentially laymen. Needless to say his previous partner was not enthused. But yea, a history lesson would run way too long. If people are interested it really is worth looking into though.

Anemone

This was one of the best ones I have seen.

Beyene

Classic review. I can't wait to play Condemned 2 as soon as I whittle down my stack of unopened games a bit.

Riddick had excellent melee combat also. They really need to do a sequel to that game.

unmarkedone

I actually really enjoyed Indigo Prophecy's ending.

Seriously. It felt like I was playing a David Lynch movie.

mcderek3000

It all depends on the price of things. Come to think of it, as long as the game's approximately 3-4 times the length of a movie, it's good enough to justify the increase in price by 3-4 times. At least in terms of length anyway.

Lyner

@Witzbold:

Agreed. To paraphrase it: Don't judge a meal on how fast you can eat it.

Most games nowadays are generally in the 10 hour mark. 12 if you count all the sidequests. Hell COD4 took me like less than 7 hours to complete. I haven't even played it online yet I still find the game worthy of a purchase.

excaliburps

this guy is such an awesome reviewer

islandknight

@Witzbold: Zomg I loved Rune on PC.. God I got soo Good at leaping decapitations in the multiplayer 2v2 arena.

Derigor

@Sloopydrew:

In no way did I intend my comment above to dissuade people from buying or renting Condemned 2. Despite the mediocre second half, the first half is incredible and I am playing through it for my second time in the FPS mode that unlocks when you beat it the first. It's a damn good game and the online, while generic, is pretty brutal and fun. Second half of the original Condemned + first half of Condemned 2 = best survival horror game ever (not counting RE4).

Sloopydrew

I have never agreed with anything as much as this review (and possibly liberal ideology and the interview with that one guy who said Raiders of the Lost Ark was the best adventure movie ever made). Condemned 2 was seriously up for my favorite game of the year for the first half. Then, like Yahtzee I started wondering what the fuck went wrong. The two things he doesn't mention that drove me nuts is how the game turned into an action-adventure with gun shooting and govt. agents (or something) that was essentially a F.E.A.R. clone and the other -- the other I forgot while typing the first, but it was something terrible. I also didn't like how the CSI stuff was just written out of the game halfway through, as it was cleverly implemented this time around. I dunno, my overall rating of Condemned 2? The first half a 10 out of 10. As good as survival horror can get, if you aren't counting Resident Evil: CV, Resident Evil 4 or Silent Hill 2. The second half? 4 out of 10. Very disappointing; but if you're a fan of F.E.A.R. you'll probably love it (the second half).

Sloopydrew

The Indigo Prophecy Syndrome is perfect in every way.

phnord

@Mattz: I agree, I want the t-shirt too!

WhiskeyJak

@HawaiianActor:

I'm glad you're interested in a kinder, gentler Kotaku.*

*Some restrictions may apply.

Billkwando

@Clamchop: Yeah that whips Mass Effect with a wet noodle, yo.

Billkwando

@Anemone: Thanks for proving you have no taste in movies.

Chris Taran

@excaliburps:
You're agreeing with something that never was said by me in the first place :/

Luv2Hate

@Witzbold:
Shit, this comment's kinda late, haven't checked in a bit. But anyway, Witzbold, I wasn't degrading the game because of it's length. In fact, I found many other flaws in the gameplay: such as the clumsy new combo system, weird difficulty spikes, and too many powerful guns to kill the suspense. Just because someone disagree's with your opinion does not make them a "tit", pal. I just happen to not like the game as much as you.

Luv2Hate