RSS Feeds
real world
Whorelore Incites The Rage Of Bonan
Posted by Mike Fahey at 8:00 AM on May 23, 2008
Apparently I'm not the only one enamored with Funcom's recently released Age of Conan. The creators of Whorelore (formerly World of Whorecraft) have jumped into the Hyborean Age as well with "Rage of Bonan".
More than just people having sex in costume, "Rage of Bonan" actually recreates the very first quest in the game, which involves rescuing a bound, scantily dressed woman by killing a nearby enemy for the key to her shackles. Granted the woman in the game was blonde and it doesn't actually end with a sex scene...though I am sure it did in the minds of many of the males and not a few of the females who played through it.
Hit the jump for a gallery of pics from the clip that isn't very safe for work at all, as well as information on how you can be a part of Whorelore's new Conan fixation.
The actors in the above gallery are AVN Performer of the year Evan Stone and his real life girlfriend, Syren (possibly not her real name), so those of you who enjoy your pornography with a little personal involvement between the participants should get a kick out of that.
The Whorelore folks are so excited about Conan (you could tell before the NSFW fish showed up) that they've created their own guild in the game. They are currently taking applications at www.whoreloreguild.com. From the website:
Whore Lore is a guild of dedicated gamers with years of experience in MMOs and other games. We will be focused on both PVP and PVE and crushing content.
Not sure how I'd feel about having WhoreLore over my head everywhere I went in game, though I'm sure I've had worse.
Be sure to check out Crecente's exhaustive feature on all things World of Whorecraft / Whorelore related in case you need to figure out how exactly we got to this point. They recently released the episode featuring the "Holy Paladin" from those initial shots, though I've a feeling her holiness will be coming into question over the course of the story.
Whorelore Season 2 Episode 4 [Official Site]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
DanMazkin
Posted May 23, 2008 10:54 AM
Evan Stone was the bomb in Pirates yo!!!
J
Posted May 23, 2008 12:17 PM
TWIN HELLFIRE CANNONS!!!
SolInvictus
Posted 1:03 PM 27/5/08
Penis Wright, Ass Attorney
Penis Wright, Just Ass for All
SolInvictus
SolInvictus
Posted 12:55 PM 27/5/08
The Rage of Bonan. I can't stop laughing at that name. Oh god.
SolInvictus
Cam_Ras
Posted 5:06 PM 26/5/08
@Petezah: @geekgrrl: @futurebiblehero:
Ah, pure excellence. "Not even Tolkien could follow this plot."
Although Miles O'Keefe is supposedly a pretty cool guy.
Cam_Ras
Spampy
Posted 4:17 AM 25/5/08
The best part of all of this is that that guy played "Captain Edward Reynolds, Pirate Hunter" in Pirates!
Spampy
TSlade
Posted 1:08 AM 25/5/08
'Rage of Bonan' is the greatest title for anything ever. 'Rage'- oh God that's funny.
TSlade
Placentasaurus
Posted 9:55 AM 24/5/08
Bonan. That just made my day. And this is actually pretty accurate to the stories, although Robert E. Howard didn't go into this much detail.
Placentasaurus
Soriya
Posted 3:00 AM 24/5/08
I love the title.
Soriya
Replica23
Posted 8:06 PM 23/5/08
He should be holding his sword while he ravages the women.
Replica23
TheIrishNinja
Posted 6:23 PM 23/5/08
@Hiroken: @dirkxxdiggler: wait, she's chubby? really? fuck, i guess im a chubby chaser too. news to me.
TheIrishNinja
SenorKaffee
Posted 3:48 PM 23/5/08
SEX-COM: Virgin Defence
Fellatio Fantasy Tactics
Moaning Hill 4: The Backroom
DIS NOT SO HARD AKSULLY
SenorKaffee
Pezdispenser
Posted 3:36 PM 23/5/08
Shucks, I'm late to the party.
...
I seriously just sat here for 5 minutes staring at all of my games trying to come up with another sex title. The best I could come up with is:
F.E.A.R. First Encounter Anal Reaming
Black IN White
Deus Sex
Space Rangers 2:Rise of the Dominatrix
And with that, I'm outta here!
Pezdispenser
dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased
Posted 3:28 PM 23/5/08
@Thorax:
...isn't that the point? *snicker*
dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased
Thorax
Posted 3:17 PM 23/5/08
... Is it weird that I could see this coming?
Thorax
seppukake
Posted 2:52 PM 23/5/08
I'm surprised they stuck with "Hyborean Age" instead of the obvious Hybo"n"ean Age
seppukake
kylo4
Posted 2:25 PM 23/5/08
@Nside: That's hilarious.
No one can forget the online web show "World of Whorecraft"!
kylo4
jp182
Posted 2:01 PM 23/5/08
@Drakron: for porn it was actually very good. it actually had SOME kind of narrative and i'm SURE that at least 99% of the straight males on here would rather watch this over a Uwe Boll movie
THAT should be a topic for Kotaku, what would you rather watch, a Whorelore film vs. Uwe Boll film
jp182
Jazhuis
Posted 1:14 PM 23/5/08
Oh hell yes, Evan Stone. Porn industry tendency towards puins aside, that man is comedy genius gold.
Jazhuis
Petezah
Posted 12:41 PM 23/5/08
@futurebiblehero: @geekgrrl: Lol; good old Ator.
Petezah
_Ted_
Posted 12:40 PM 23/5/08
holy shit i went to high school with an evan stone.....
_Ted_
Cola82
Posted 11:51 AM 23/5/08
I think this warrants a "Lol."
Very awesome.
Cola82
Kaljin
Posted 11:48 AM 23/5/08
...W-Why? Seriously, why? The poor game is still an infant.
Kaljin
Nside
Posted 11:42 AM 23/5/08
Gears of Whore
Call of Booty 4: Modern Whore-fare
Grand Theft Odd Ho: Vice Panties
Metal Queer Solid: Guns of the Gay-triots (who says it all has to be straight porn?)
Head Rising
BioCock
CrySister
Haylo: Cumshot Evolved
Bang-ho Cumblooie: Nuts n' Bolts
Nside
kftgr
Posted 11:34 AM 23/5/08
Woo, Evan Stone! His comical lines and acting (yes, truly) totally saved the Pirates movie. Well, him and the comic relief Asian guy. Ok, them and the backroom ff scene.
kftgr
dirkxxdiggler
Posted 11:32 AM 23/5/08
Yikes, they need to put her on a diet before they try to pass her off as a slave boat escapee.
dirkxxdiggler
Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.
Posted 11:23 AM 23/5/08
They so gotta do more MMOs like this. City of Heroes alone would be LAWLZORS.
Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.
demonknightinuyasha
Posted 11:17 AM 23/5/08
porn is pretty laughable for the most part as it is, but these always inspire full on roflmao's
demonknightinuyasha
Huckleberry
Posted 10:44 AM 23/5/08
He looks a little like David Lee Roth in that second picture.
Huckleberry
shrume
Posted 10:41 AM 23/5/08
haahahhha! And Chyna!
shrume
Fury-genesis
Posted 10:23 AM 23/5/08
Oh hey, it's Triple H.
Fury-genesis
maverickudo
Posted 10:17 AM 23/5/08
yeah i've seen these "porn" actors actually on cinemax. it's more like cosplay softcore "skinamax" the same guy and the same woman were with other porn actors in this sex movie called something-something Future Ninja Girl Bikini or something. it was pretty horrible and that dude on the picture kept saying "Gardoth needs energy!! needs refuel...take of ur clothes!!" lol so horrible
maverickudo
NinjaMarion
Posted 10:02 AM 23/5/08
@dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased: Super Mario BangBros?
NinjaMarion
Tietsu21
Posted 9:47 AM 23/5/08
Wow...I'm not sure what to feel...The fish...I hate them so...
Tietsu21
ShirtNinja
Posted 9:41 AM 23/5/08
Damn you, Kotaku NSFW Fish! DAMN YOU!!
ShirtNinja
sc00t420
Posted 9:40 AM 23/5/08
lol. even if you cover up the nipples and stuff it's still pictures of two people doing it. heh. heh.
sc00t420
EloraHRanma
Posted 9:09 AM 23/5/08
Isn't this game gonna have a 360 release? If it ever runs on Live servers, I have a feeling that guild won't last too long.
EloraHRanma
spaz33
Posted 9:07 AM 23/5/08
Bonan sure knows whats best in life!
spaz33
Antiterra
Posted 9:05 AM 23/5/08
Not even a "Maximum Risky" tag? Oh, well, I'm just happy to see the Kotaku Fish, been a while. (No, not "happy" like Bonan, just... you know, the old, boring, flaccid "happy".)
Antiterra
Hiroken
Posted 9:05 AM 23/5/08
I didn't realize Conan was a chubby chaser. Good for him.
Hiroken
wild homes
Posted 9:01 AM 23/5/08
After playing the (unrelated) 360 Conan title I find this entirely unsurprising. Conan has a hearty lust for the wenches. And for, um, pornografía.
wild homes
Calhoun
Posted 8:57 AM 23/5/08
Whorelore impressed me in the past with their inability to film anything even remotely approaching "mildly arousing sexual situations", but it is the sort of thing you can watch once and laugh at before condemning it to the recycle bin forever. That being said, the dude playing Bonan looks like he's wearing a chainmail adult diaper in that last gallery picture. Yeesh.
Calhoun
macr0planet
Posted 8:54 AM 23/5/08
lawl! wasn't one of the original cast of whorecraft banned from WoW?
Hey, at least this fits in the Conan series a little bit more. I could see some of this happening in Conan's bed chamber.
macr0planet
geekgrrl
Posted 8:51 AM 23/5/08
@futurebiblehero: i KNEW that guy reminded me of somebody...
"how much Keefe is in this movie?"
"Miles O'Keefe!"
geekgrrl
Winterbringer
Posted 8:48 AM 23/5/08
Lord of the Rings Online? oh wait...
Winterbringer
IntelSilver
Posted 8:44 AM 23/5/08
Thats the dude that played in Pirates. He's cool I like him. He reminds me of Johnny Bravo.
IntelSilver
Enimor
Posted 8:40 AM 23/5/08
It's nice to see a porn studio with a sense of humor. Although laughing and fapping all at once can led to some complications.
Enimor
Garrison Dean, King Awesome
Posted 8:39 AM 23/5/08
To be fair these were my favorite scenes from the old Conan Comics from Marvel.
Garrison Dean, King Awesome
futurebiblehero
Posted 8:37 AM 23/5/08
It's good to see Miles O'Keefe working again.
futurebiblehero
JocktheMotie
Posted 8:35 AM 23/5/08
I believe a post such as this, deserves the return of the formerly retired "Hot Tears of Shame" tag.
:(
JocktheMotie
Tom Clancy's Samuraidino
Posted 8:35 AM 23/5/08
Well played whorelore,well played
Tom Clancy's Samuraidino
Cruz
Posted 8:32 AM 23/5/08
I've seen Evan Stone in other plot porns. He's actually a pretty funny guy, far as porn actors go.
I mean, porn? Psh, who needs it?
Cruz
Eothein
Posted 8:31 AM 23/5/08
On a more serious note. What's the point of this title, there's loads of Conan rip offs already, there isn't much of a need for this in my eyes.
Eothein
Khabi
Posted 8:29 AM 23/5/08
@dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased:
"Guild Whores?" I totally want some of those.
Khabi
Krumm
Posted 8:28 AM 23/5/08
Bonan... lool. Pure gold....
Krumm
dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased
Posted 8:27 AM 23/5/08
@Winterbringer:
Oh, oh! I wanna play!
Command and Bonk Her?
Rainbow Sex?
Penis Wright, Ace Attorney?
The Girl's End With You?
Guild Whores?
dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased
iao_
Posted 8:26 AM 23/5/08
@James in Dupont: @James in Dupont: youre talking about evan stone broheimer, digital playground select. the only thing worse than being evan stone and his girlfriend is pretty much everything imaginable.
iao_
I_fit_in
Posted 8:25 AM 23/5/08
@solar_tf:
I guess you would know.
I_fit_in
toadkick
Posted 8:22 AM 23/5/08
I hate strategically placed fish.
toadkick
solar_tf
Posted 8:20 AM 23/5/08
@James in Dupont:
I'm pretty sure having ugly people f**k -you- could be much worse than watching ugly people f**king each other in stupid costumes
solar_tf
Winterbringer
Posted 8:18 AM 23/5/08
What's next? Tabula Rouser? EverBreast?
Winterbringer
solar_tf
Posted 8:14 AM 23/5/08
Hell yea! World of whorecraft was pretty nice, this should be too!!!... come to think of it (<- yea, pun there), someone could actually hack those as cutscenes in the game and it would make sense :D
er, I mean.... WHAT!!! OUTRAGEOUS!!! OEMGEE!!! VIDEOGAME PORNOGRAPHY, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!
solar_tf
chaos242
Posted 8:12 AM 23/5/08
...and I am promptly reminded of why I frequent Kotaku...
chaos242
Tiael
Posted 8:12 AM 23/5/08
Ah, Evan Stone as Bonan.. that's hilarious
Tiael
frostcircus
Posted 8:11 AM 23/5/08
, promotes Onan
frostcircus
James in Dupont
Posted 8:11 AM 23/5/08
The only thing worse than watching ugly people fuck is watching ugly people fuck in stupid costumes.
James in Dupont
dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased
Posted 8:10 AM 23/5/08
This kind of smut used to be the norm. Lots of movie parodies, hilarious titles and all that. Now it's just... boring. "We're going to do yet another college chick." At least these guys are having some fun with their work.
dunetiger reads kotaku, seems pleased
I_fit_in
Posted 8:10 AM 23/5/08
"Rage of Bonan"
The 21st century is going pretty well thus far.
I_fit_in
attila
Posted 8:09 AM 23/5/08
Aaah! What have you done to my quest? Poor Casilda!
attila
symeon6
Posted 8:06 AM 23/5/08
@Strange Bedfellows: BAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Good one!
symeon6
Grey Gecko
Posted 8:06 AM 23/5/08
Fleshbot to much ?
Grey Gecko
bigd7387
Posted 8:05 AM 23/5/08
The use of the red fish to cover the more private areas is classic. Pretty funny stuff.
bigd7387
Drakron
Posted 8:04 AM 23/5/08
I remenber seeing that World of Whorecraft and it was so bad ... oh so bad ...
Drakron
Strange Bedfellows
Posted 8:04 AM 23/5/08
Whorelore is amazing. Such high-quality production values. The special effects alone must cost tens of dollars to produce!
Strange Bedfellows
homernoy
Posted 8:04 AM 23/5/08
"you could tell before the NSFW fish showed up"
Thank goodness for the NSFW fish then!
homernoy
Ashurahori
Posted 8:03 AM 23/5/08
The Bonerian?
Ashurahori
Boudabras
Posted 8:03 AM 23/5/08
...whaaaaaaaat?
Boudabras
Lot Krotan
Posted 8:02 AM 23/5/08
bonan.
pure comedy gold.
I seriously can't stop laughing.
Lot Krotan
hamandcheeseUK
Posted 8:01 AM 23/5/08
Oh...my..god
hamandcheeseUK