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And You Thought SL Was Bad - More Naughty Spore Creatures
Posted by Mike Fahey at 2:20 AM on June 19, 2008
Why is this Spore creature, crafted by PC Zone UK forum user Apophis_dd, so very happy? Perhaps because it's come to the humorous realisation that despite how vehemently gamers rail against the supposed sickness of people who dress up like furries or cavort with unicorns in the virtual world of Second Life, given the right tools they have the potential to create things just as nasty, if not more so.
Perhaps he's just happy because he's named "The Humpasaur", which is what my close friends in high school nicknamed me in the fictional life I like to picture in my head where I had close friends in high school. Hit the jump for the full picture in all its NSFW glory.
Pretty sick, right? It gets even better when you realise that this creature would theoretically have to eat from one of those openings and then pass undigested matter through the other one. Enjoy lunch!
Spore Creature Creator [PC Zone UK Forums - Thanks Velo!]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
bigman88zz
Posted 3:45 AM 19/6/08
@bornonce: i think that comedian was ron "tater salad" white
bigman88zz
Kaizin514
Posted 3:43 AM 19/6/08
HAHAHA, very funny, as soon as i saw the thumbnail i knew what this one was gonna look like, very funny
Kaizin514
screamingslave
Posted 3:38 AM 19/6/08
@lumpi: That actually kinda makes sense. That might be the idea. Either way - bring on the penis monster flood!
screamingslave
firstworldman
Posted 3:38 AM 19/6/08
Creations like these now justify my destruction of a multitude of planets.
firstworldman
KirbyMorph
Posted 3:24 AM 19/6/08
OMG, that link to the penis monster is probably some sign that the end is nigh. Nigh, I say.
KirbyMorph
moo083
Posted 3:23 AM 19/6/08
@moo083: More specifically, anyone know why the mac version isn't available? It links to GameTree, but no dice there. Still says coming soon. The mac version better be coming out today!
moo083
bornonce
Posted 3:22 AM 19/6/08
I remember a stand-up comedian who once told his redneck friend that he could show him that he had homosexual tendencies.
Of course, his red-neck friend vehemently denied that.
So, the standup asked him if he enjoyed porn.
"Of course" said the redneck. "I am a man after all."
So the standup asked him if he enjoyed porn with men who had "small members".
"Of course not" said the redneck. "I like HUGE, throbbing, eh". The redneck stopped in mid-sentence.
It appears that even "real men" seem to have some sort of fascination with penises. I am a man, and I LOATHE straight sex porn. I have no particular desire to see another man's penis, or buttocks, or piercings, or tattoos. Still, I'll admit that some of the new spore creatures are quite creative, and I do get an occasional chuckle from some of them.
But I am far more interested in the creation from a single cell feature from Spore. I think that it will truly be fascinating to see evolution taking place and spawning a myriad of creatures from scratch rather than these user-created artist's conceptions. Spore could potentially be the greatest game in video game history if it pans out as envisioned by Will Wright.
bornonce
singlecoilpickup
Posted 3:20 AM 19/6/08
@Sub: Ignore that guy. Bring on the spore-cock-monsters! They're just about the funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm not even sure why. Penis jokes haven't been funny in a long time, but these things make me laugh hysterically. I'm so juvenile.
singlecoilpickup
Gray665
Posted 3:19 AM 19/6/08
@cable83: I love how people like you think X-Box Live was the genesis of immature assholes on the internet. They have been around waaaaay longer than xbox live.
Gray665
bigman88zz
Posted 3:18 AM 19/6/08
@bigman88zz: *god
bigman88zz
moo083
Posted 3:18 AM 19/6/08
Anyone know why the full version of the game for that $9.99 isn't out yet?
moo083
cable83
Posted 3:16 AM 19/6/08
Spore, overrun by Xbox Live retards before it's even released. :/
cable83
bigman88zz
Posted 3:15 AM 19/6/08
hilarious! now lets see it do its happy expressions. oh got i need the png file for this
bigman88zz
willyolio
Posted 3:14 AM 19/6/08
seriously, what? that's one animal? hahahaha.
willyolio
Kanik
Posted 3:10 AM 19/6/08
Mike "The Humpasaur" Fahey?
It's catchy.
Kanik
Gray665
Posted 3:07 AM 19/6/08
You know, considering this is a game about evolution and such, are creatures copulating all that big of a deal? I mean yeah, giant penis monsters are childish (and funny!) but its really not that bad. You ever see a couple horses have sex? Now that will give your kid nightmares.
Gray665
hamandcheeseUK
Posted 2:59 AM 19/6/08
@solacecomes: [www.gametrailers.com]
Essentially the same thing
hamandcheeseUK
Vidril
Posted 2:56 AM 19/6/08
LOL, it's not even after dark! WTH Kotaku?! xD
Vidril
joncoffee
Posted 2:52 AM 19/6/08
lets see what Fox and co spin out of this.
joncoffee
Dee4leeds
Posted 2:52 AM 19/6/08
Meh is it even worth buying the game? This parts good enough for me!
Dee4leeds
Lone-Gun
Posted 2:50 AM 19/6/08
My world will be so disturbing that it will cause people's eyes to bleed
Lone-Gun
Alaron
Posted 2:50 AM 19/6/08
These are getting better and better with each post. The humor is already there for us.
Alaron
Trai_Dep
Posted 2:46 AM 19/6/08
Can't wait until the Humpasaur meets the Vagi-stagasaurus.
Clash of the Titans!
Trai_Dep
Dillenger69
Posted 2:46 AM 19/6/08
So now we have a new porn category: sporn?
Dillenger69
Snuffbox
Posted 2:46 AM 19/6/08
My universe will be full of goatses, dancing penis man, and IDB dude pictured above
Snuffbox
Vehks
Posted 2:45 AM 19/6/08
Crop up even.
Vehks
dude49
Posted 2:45 AM 19/6/08
wtf
dude49
Vehks
Posted 2:45 AM 19/6/08
@Ashkihyena: "Oh Will Wright, what have you unleashed on the world?"
Heh, nothing that wasn't already there. Is anyone really suprised that stuff such as this would crop?
Vehks
lumpi
Posted 2:44 AM 19/6/08
I get it. Maxis is bringing out the creature editor early, so the penis joke wears off before the full release. Thus less Christian mothers calling for a ban of the game. Smart.
lumpi
LesPaulJr
Posted 2:40 AM 19/6/08
@solacecomes:
Now, THAT is sick LOL.
LesPaulJr
MasterDex
Posted 2:39 AM 19/6/08
Hahaha, brilliant!
Ya gotta love what you can do with the creator. When you think of it, €10 doesn't sound so bad.
MasterDex
impreza
Posted 2:38 AM 19/6/08
@The_nub_next_door:
Excuse me, I need to go brush my teeth, I vomited a little.
impreza
vanderblade
Posted 2:37 AM 19/6/08
"Perhaps he's just happy because he's named "The Humpasaur", which is what my close friends in high school nicknamed me in the fictional life I like to picture in my head where I had close friends in high school."
I laughed. The beer and pizza in my morning mouth came tumbling out. Yes, I'm that guy. My job allows it.
vanderblade
Shiryu
Posted 2:36 AM 19/6/08
Dear God, it manages to make worse of then the first one of that kind I saw...
Posting it for the 3rd time, just in case you missed it before, NSFW!!!!!!!!! etc etc:
[videos.sapo.pt]
Shiryu
solacecomes
Posted 2:35 AM 19/6/08
I demand video evidence.
solacecomes
Zerbrechen
Posted 2:34 AM 19/6/08
I gotta say, even though this is just sick, it will definitely make going online in Spore a fantastic voyage.
You will see things you could never have imagined before.
Zerbrechen
Rookerith
Posted 2:34 AM 19/6/08
*claps* Brilliant!
Between this phenomenon and Limbo of the Lost, this is one of our better news days methinks.
Rookerith
ShaggE
Posted 2:33 AM 19/6/08
@blackmanfu: I don't think there's an answer to that question that wouldn't result in years of trauma. :p
ShaggE
The_nub_next_door
Posted 2:32 AM 19/6/08
@impreza: Damn right we don't!
Wait no not we i mean... they, yeah they don't want that sort of thing...
The_nub_next_door
blackmanfu
Posted 2:31 AM 19/6/08
hmm, i wonder how it breeds...
Awwwlright!
blackmanfu
scruffy, the janitor
Posted 2:31 AM 19/6/08
he's actually fapping
scruffy, the janitor
Coors Light is God
Posted 2:31 AM 19/6/08
@Sub: MAYBE SOME of us LIKE Penis Monsters.
Coors Light is God
Garo
Posted 2:30 AM 19/6/08
Imagine what people could create with so much creative energy... but instead we get "The Humpasaur" /sigh
Garo
tako12
Posted 2:29 AM 19/6/08
Thats mother nature at work... virtually?
tako12
Spoony Bard
Posted 2:28 AM 19/6/08
@Sub: Gotta say I must agree...dammit Fahey, you're only encouraging this sort of sordid behavior! :)
Spoony Bard
IIDXTrick
Posted 2:28 AM 19/6/08
@Eville1:
I seriously doubt people are having 'fantasies' over these. Every single person that makes a penis creature or a sex creature does it because it's hilarious to watch it wobble around after you've made it.
It's pretty synonymous to people drawing penises on whiteboards.
IIDXTrick
AnotherGamer
Posted 2:28 AM 19/6/08
Sadly, I feel like we've seen nothing yet. Wait till more people get their hands on the creature creator, that's when the REAL monstrosities will start pouring in.
AnotherGamer
(俗・ ) Grey Gecko
Posted 2:28 AM 19/6/08
This is just WRONG to so many levels...
(俗・ ) Grey Gecko
Ashkihyena
Posted 2:27 AM 19/6/08
Oh Will Wright, what have you unleashed on the world?
Ashkihyena
ShaggE
Posted 2:27 AM 19/6/08
I have to wonder... the vast majority of these people are the gay-bashing type... yet they are incredibly anxious to churn out imagery of penises and anal sex. If I were a psychiatrist, this would be a gold mine.
ShaggE
Sub
Posted 2:27 AM 19/6/08
Kotaku, seriously, stop. This is like the 3rd post about penis monsters. We get it. You can make penis monsters in Spore.
Sub
jfx316
Posted 2:26 AM 19/6/08
wow. see....this is why nintendo is so paranoid about anything online.
jfx316
impreza
Posted 2:26 AM 19/6/08
@Eville1:
Furries dont want humanoid simulators.
impreza
2NinjasTapedTogether
Posted 2:26 AM 19/6/08
Awesome. Simply Awesome.
2NinjasTapedTogether
Tom Clancy's Samuraidino
Posted 2:25 AM 19/6/08
I for one welcome our new humpasaur overlords.
Tom Clancy's Samuraidino
thefuryone
Posted 2:24 AM 19/6/08
Yeah, that's just clever.
thefuryone
holyOrange
Posted 2:24 AM 19/6/08
Wow!
Made me laugh. This is crazy!
holyOrange
Eville1
Posted 2:23 AM 19/6/08
People are having way to much fun indulging their fantasies with this thing. There are other, more humanoid simulators out there you know.
No, I don't know what they are. But they are out there.
Really.
Eville1
impreza
Posted 2:23 AM 19/6/08
lovely.
impreza
Nobuyuki
Posted 2:23 AM 19/6/08
I want that thing to rule over my galaxy.
Nobuyuki
Kanik
Posted 4:35 AM 19/6/08
@wheezo: I can't wait to see a penis boss in Little Big Planet.
Kanik
Kaizin514
Posted 4:32 AM 19/6/08
@StealthNinjaScyther:
damn, that's a huge mix of funny and just plain gross, lol, i hope you weren't the one to create that thing
Kaizin514
tehFluffz
Posted 4:30 AM 19/6/08
They're all over 4chan.
tehFluffz
wheezo
Posted 4:23 AM 19/6/08
And people wonder why Microsoft has been so nervous about any sort of user-created content for Xbox. And maybe why Little Big Planet still hasn't shipped.
wheezo
StealthNinjaScyther
Posted 4:19 AM 19/6/08
Still not more terrifying than the goatse creatures. Yes, creatures, as in multiple goatse creatures. Many of them have already been taken down by YouTube, but some are still up. Take a look for yourself, theough you'll probably regret it:
+ Watch video
StealthNinjaScyther
TheTog
Posted 4:12 AM 19/6/08
@Guild_Navigator: ahh yes, I have quite fond memories of making my friends Star Wars characters do foul things that made him oh so mad.
TheTog
enigma89
Posted 4:12 AM 19/6/08
This is easily the best Spore creature I've ever seen. I forfeit already.
enigma89
gaijira
Posted 4:11 AM 19/6/08
This gives all new meaning to the phrase "Making the beast with two backs."
gaijira
PsycheE
Posted 4:10 AM 19/6/08
Oh Oh Oh.
PsycheE
ShineyBlueShoes
Posted 4:03 AM 19/6/08
WHY?!? Not why do they keep making these things, but why must I continue to click through to these things.
ShineyBlueShoes
Guild_Navigator
Posted 3:55 AM 19/6/08
This is the futuristic version of putting your friend's action figure collection into sexual positions while he's in the bathroom.
Guild_Navigator
rabidkeebler
Posted 5:17 AM 19/6/08
This is reminding me of a penny arcade strip...
[www.penny-arcade.com]
rabidkeebler
BPMκ
Posted 5:14 AM 19/6/08
I'd like to say I'm disturbed, but the fact is I'm already desensitized by seeing worse creatures on /v/... [sigh]
BPMκ
Mink_Car
Posted 5:06 AM 19/6/08
@Tom Clancy's Samuraidino:
I'm often asked: "When will our Humpasaur benefactors turn off the stasis field and let us mate again?"
My answer is: Whenever they're through. Looks like it'll be a while.
Mink_Car
DaveKap
Posted 5:04 AM 19/6/08
To pull on the Second Life string that you left dangling Fahey...
It's almost as though people want to loose their disgusting creativity on the world, but Second Life gives you too much of an identity to do it anonymously. However, Spore only tags you with a name that you can always change, and no real identity whatsoever.
It's like Spore is the physical manifestation of John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory.
DaveKap
Chromeo
Posted 5:00 AM 19/6/08
Does this thing remind anyone of the Twoback create from Silent Hill: Origins?
Silent Hill Monsters
Chromeo
StealthNinjaScyther
Posted 4:57 AM 19/6/08
I definitely didn't make that goatse monster, or any goatse monsters for that matter. The worst I did was a fetus monster, but that turned out more cute than creepy.
StealthNinjaScyther
bobdisgea
Posted 4:53 AM 19/6/08
dont know how to handle the influx of penis monsters...and this thing
bobdisgea
Xylophone: Just for that, it's now 7/10
Posted 4:50 AM 19/6/08
@SmokeFemur: Hadn't thought of that. I'm sure it won't be, though.
Xylophone: Just for that, it's now 7/10
Jagzthebest
Posted 4:49 AM 19/6/08
Man, its going to be horrible. But funny. Going online, imagine the game calculating this creature to survive against? How horrendous!
Jagzthebest
Dr Terror
Posted 4:47 AM 19/6/08
@lumpi: Exactly my thoughts.
@StealthNinjaScyther: Thats actually really clever. Anyone can make a big ol dick but that was actually pretty creative. The dancing was gold.
Dr Terror
SmokeFemur
Posted 4:42 AM 19/6/08
Spore, AO rateing?
SmokeFemur
Jonaconda
Posted 4:41 AM 19/6/08
@gaijira: I salute you, sir. That was quality.
Jonaconda
Manator (Follow me and die!)
Posted 4:41 AM 19/6/08
Oh man, that is the best ever.
I can't wait until this game goes online.
I might try to make my own Humpasarus Sex when I get home tonight.
OH MAN
Manator (Follow me and die!)
mikeloxlong
Posted 4:39 AM 19/6/08
@StealthNinjaScyther:
[digg.com]
mikeloxlong
jacksinn
Posted 4:38 AM 19/6/08
I'm at work but am so glad I clicked through.
jacksinn
Pezdispenser
Posted 5:47 AM 19/6/08
First order of business, destroy the planet that that thing evolved from... Earth.
Pezdispenser
Fugue
Posted 5:45 AM 19/6/08
Well...you have to admire their creativity.
Fugue
bakakensai
Posted 5:39 AM 19/6/08
nastiest yet: [video.google.com]
xD
bakakensai
vanlingo
Posted 5:38 AM 19/6/08
@Coors Light is God: That's not the best thing to mention in public...
Are you from California?
vanlingo
Iceman B.
Posted 8:46 AM 19/6/08
So uh, I heard you can make penis monsters in Spore?
Seriously, what begs the question is this:
Why is it always penis-critters and never vagina-critters that are being made?
Iceman B.
crashlanding
Posted 8:46 AM 19/6/08
I wondered why EA ever bothered to release such a small piece of a game and charge you for it.
Now I see it was just to let the fringiest of the fringe get all the penises out of their system.
crashlanding
ZENimilian
Posted 8:18 AM 19/6/08
Oh. Oh no. Please no. Hilarious, but no. You bastard. Ruining my innocent imagination. Damn.
ZENimilian
pokebud
Posted 7:40 AM 19/6/08
Beware the boobs have teeth!
pokebud
evirustheslaye
Posted 7:36 AM 19/6/08
can we please neuter the people who keep making this crap?
evirustheslaye
Lainface
Posted 7:33 AM 19/6/08
All I keep thinking regarding this image and all future Spore images is... Fruit Fucker.
Lainface
Dipperdan
Posted 7:25 AM 19/6/08
Now do you see the repercussions of GTA's "Hot Coffee" on the world. I am so going to make a boob monster. xD
Dipperdan
DARTH_TIGRIS
Posted 7:11 AM 19/6/08
So are people going to do this mess with LBP and Banjo too? *sigh*
DARTH_TIGRIS
Unique78
Posted 7:09 AM 19/6/08
What really sucks is that people are making this NOW... The game isn't released yet. I can see changes being made to the final code now to now allow all these fantastic creations in final release. Shame on you people for not being able to wait just a few more months. Now I'm going to get a game that is sub-par because you couldn't wait to make your penis monsters.
Unique78
DarkHavoc99
Posted 7:05 AM 19/6/08
Maybe I will download this after all...
DarkHavoc99
Daniel_RA
Posted 9:27 AM 19/6/08
I was kinda skeptic about SCC, but this makes me want it so bad!
Daniel_RA
Chagrin
Posted 9:58 AM 19/6/08
All these abominations just have me thinking, "They had to be expecting this."
Chagrin
EnigmaNemesis
Posted 9:51 AM 19/6/08
@Iceman B.:
Because a penis creatures you can point out the obvious that it is a penis ...
A vagina creature would be way more complex artistically, and just look like some funky rain forest plant!
EnigmaNemesis
Impurethinker
Posted 10:48 AM 19/6/08
And like I have said before, none of these things are making it to the Sporepedia, they are just uploading them to youtube directly. If some fool did upload this to the Sporepedia it would get voted down and reported ASAP.
Impurethinker
robbie158
Posted 11:23 AM 19/6/08
@Chagrin: I think this is why it took so long.
Will Wright sitting in his office:
More penis monsters! The monsters arent penisy (sp?) enough!
robbie158
robbie158
Posted 11:22 AM 19/6/08
@Iceman B.: Vaginas are scary enough.
robbie158
dslsd64
Posted 11:43 AM 19/6/08
tit-monsters or GTFO
dslsd64
dawimp523
Posted 1:05 PM 19/6/08
Wait, so, this is 1 creature?
Wow.
...
I'm speechless.
dawimp523
Ryodestined
Posted 2:08 PM 19/6/08
Holy crap, Spore is going to rated M, but not for mature. It'll start a whole new rating that will replace AO, once ESRB realizes that it's a waste of a rating. "IM" will be the new rating for "potential to unleash totally IMMATURE sense of humor. Not for sale to anyone who doesn't have the sense of humor of a 5 year old." Otherwise I love how much they've actually put into Spore. They might really deliver on this lofty vision.
Ryodestined
13xforever
Posted 4:02 PM 19/6/08
Oh, my breakfast, where are you going???
13xforever
B-E-N-J-I
Posted 4:37 PM 19/6/08
i bet the next one we see will come in the form of the 69
B-E-N-J-I
StickyPurpleCat
Posted 10:36 AM 20/6/08
@Iceman B.: It's a phallacy.
I bet there's a special circle reserved in Hell now for dirty Spore creators. =P
StickyPurpleCat
karnsatron
Posted 11:51 AM 20/6/08
I think Will Wright set all this up from the beginning.
Fake making a revolutionary game like Spore all so you can get free user created content for your upcoming new penis-monster game. It's brilliant enough that it just might work.
karnsatron
NeVeRMoRe666
Posted 1:04 PM 20/6/08
Man...I would give my left nut to be that thing...
NeVeRMoRe666
Immutablyme
Posted 11:19 PM 20/6/08
:: yawn ::
Immutablyme